Archive of Our Own

"Do you want to pick back up where we left off?" Kuranari-san asks her one day, when just the two of them are hanging out. The novelty of nature isn't lost to her yet. In the grand scheme of things, she spent most of the last seventeen years being a program on Dr. Tanaka's computer. She didn't get the chance to walk around on her own or explore anywhere outside the Tanaka household until very recently.

"What do you mean?" she asks.

"Our lessons," he says.

Oh. Oh, she understands. The years haven't been so long. It's only been a week since Kuranari-san and Coco-chan were able to settle into regular life. Since Sara-chan decided that her parents would be together on paper, if nothing else yet.

Yet is the imperative, she thinks. Because neither of them have taken that next step. Because Kuranari-san is here, offering her to pick back up their lessons. To see if she still wants to know.

There's something else, too, underneath the offer. He wants her to take it. Why, she doesn't know.

And it's not as though she doesn't. He was her most real connection, even all these years later. She remembers the non-sensation of their hands touching, a barrier between them but the warmth diffusing through her.

He'd chosen to help Komachi-san, though, and she isn't mad about it. She'd felt something very ugly well up in her, but -- she understands, too. She would have helped her if she could have.

Maybe that's its own kind of attraction. Sora isn't certain about it. She'd spent a long time avoiding thinking about Komachi-san, and then at the beginning of the year, when the plan seemed like it might actually be real, she'd thought about her too much.

"Are you and Komachi-san..."

"We haven't talked about it," he says, blushing. "We've...been in bed with each other. A couple times. And we're still married on paper, and all. But I dunno what we are." He shrugs. "I don't know if she knows, either. She said to me that I was the only person she ever was with, in all of those years. It was probably too dangerous, most of the time."

"I can imagine," she says. "I never had the chance for anyone else. At LeMU, or inside Tanaka-san's computer, considering that she was..."

"What is the deal with her and Kaburaki, anyways?"

She smiles. "They only got together recently, actually. At the beginning of the year, I think. Or at the very least that was when it was official."

Kuranari-san grimaces. "And they didn't even have anything in the way."

"I believe there were...many things in the way. Like you, actually." She looks down, ashamed.

"Me?"

"Tanaka-san once had a conversation with her version of my program while she had drunk alcohol with Kaburaki-san. While inebriated, she told me that they both had...crushed on you, but it was a bit more complex than that."

"Huh. I wouldn't have thought Kaburaki was...into guys like that."

"Do you have a problem with that?" Because Sora is fairly certain that it would be an issue. Both Kaburaki-san and Tanaka-san are, at the very least, and she might be as well.

"No, of course not," he says. "I just like to think my gaydar is pretty good. I never got that vibe in 2017."

"Your..." She frowns. "...gay...dar...?" According to the search she runs, it's a combination of the words "gay" and "radar". The ability to, as a gay person, tell that other people are gay. 

"Oh, yeah." He shrugs. "I'm bisexual. Tsugumi isn't my first time with a casual relationship. There was this friend I had, in college. His name was Satou, and we...messed around a little. Nothing important, in the end. We were friends. We had fun. He realized he was gay, and I realized I was bi. And then..." He waves his hand. "I dunno what happened to him. I kinda don't want to see."

"I could find out, if you ever want to know," she says distantly.

"Now, okay, I have to know, You is bi, right? I did get a vibe from her."

"I believe so," Sora answers. "I wouldn't wish to say too much more. They are both satisfied in their current relationship."

The question lingers on her tongue, unspoken: are you satisfied with yours?

Because he wouldn't ask her if he was. She's certain of that.

"I'm happy for them," he says distantly. Maybe he's thinking about the same thing.

"I am as well." She looks out in the distance. "Is...that a requirement for you, in a relationship? With both Komachi-san and Satou-san, you've...had a sexual relationship with both of them, but are not and were not in a relationship with either."

"I..." He flushes. "I did want to be Tsugumi's boyfriend."

"You...did. But not anymore?"

"Well, we're married now," he says with a laugh. "Dating seems like a step back, doesn't it?"

"But -- are you both in love?" She feels like she has to push. Otherwise Kuranari-san won't give her a direct answer, and she won't proceed without a direct answer.

"I still love her," he says firmly. "I've never been certain she felt the same way."

Sora frowns. "She cares about you a lot. I don't think the twins would exist if she didn't."

"But...I guess, to answer your question, it...both is and isn't. I wasn't in love with Satou. I do love Tsugumi. She's just...unique."

"That's certainly one way you could describe her." But it's true. Sora wasn't directly there at the start of the month, but another her was, and their memories are synced, so she knows she spoke to Tsugumi one-on-one. The conversation itself is muddled by the fact that she hadn't known anything from 2017.

It had been...quieter than some of their final interactions in 2017, though. They hadn't fought about it. It had just been vaguely mournful. Sora doesn't like being the one to instigate conflict regardless. She was, however, programmed against giving away any classified information. It chafed.

She's glad those restrictions are no longer present.

"Among many others," he says with a smile on his face.

"But...if someone you were in love with couldn't have sex with you, or wouldn't want to, would you still be willing to be in a relationship with them?"

He frowns. "I'd respect that, I think. With someone I really loved, it wouldn't matter."

"I...am like that. Both 'can't' and 'won't'."

"O-oh." He looks down, blushing. "I didn't know."

"It's no problem," she says. "I didn't know when we met. It was a 'can't' before, but I had to figure out that it was a 'won't', too."

"Huh."

"I just...want to hope that it's not a requirement for everyone." She'd wanted to hope it wasn't a requirement for him. If he tries to teach her about those things, frames them as critical for love...she's not going to take that without question.

"It shouldn't be," he says. "Not if they really love you. Sounds like you don't really need any lessons, do you?"

"If you're offering..." She looks down. It feels like she's committing some cardinal sin by agreeing to this. But he's the one offering this to her again, and she wants to believe in him. "...I'd still want it."

He sighs. His body loosens a bit. Sora envies that ability. She's less expressive in this body, ironically. Her hologram model was easily manipulated and flexible. Now, she's limited by mechanics. The limitations aren't large. The benefits of having a physical vessel are worth the costs. But sometimes, she tracks the minute movements in others, and wishes she could do it herself. "Good. That's great. Good to have you back, Akanegasaki-kun."

"I look forwards to learning from you again, Professor Kuranari." She bows as much as she can while seated.

Sora's first lesson involves meeting Kuranari-san at a restaurant. Sora agreed to pay any expense in advance and called it tuition. She knows that he's still getting back on his feet after everything. If she frames it the right way, she can help him.

He looks nice, dressed up a bit more than usual.

"Hello, Akanegasaki-kun," he says as he approaches, slipping into his persona.

She smiles and bows. "It's good to see you, Professor Kuranari."

"Today's lesson is on dating," he says.

"So we've moved on from flirting?" she asks.

He looks at her, a certain kind of desire behind his expression. "Anyone who's into women would be an idiot not to want you."

"You never know," Sora says, trying to channel someone else, "maybe they prefer the more masculine types."

He shrugs. "If you'd like to be more butch, I could help with that, too. But I figured that wouldn't be what you wanted."

"Why not?" she asks. He's right -- she doesn't want that type of thing. Not that it would be a bad thing if she did. But...it's not her. It isn't what she wants to be.

"Because you want to be seen as a person," he says. "And to some people, being something abnormal makes you less of a person."

Sora winces. "They aren't."

"We both know that. Not everyone does." He looks at her again. "The outfit Leiblich gave you looks nice, but it's nice to see you outside of their colors."

Sora rarely wears darker colors. It seems as though the chance she took has paid off.

"Thank you," she says. "You look good as well."

"Good," he says. "Mutual compliments are always a good start. If your date doesn't compliment you in return, it won't be a good date."

"Should I leave, in that scenario?" she asks.

He shrugs. "I would make an excuse and leave. If you think it's just because your date is an awkward person, then you can make that judgement."

She nods. "I understand."

"Now," he says, pulling open the door, "after you, Akanegasaki-kun."

She flushes a bit and enters, holding the second door open for him.

"Thank you," he says with a smile. She returns it.

"Reservation for Kuranari?" he tells the table manager.

"Right this way," she says, guiding the two of them to a small table. "A waiter will be with you in a few moments. Enjoy!"

"Here's where you look at the menu," he says, after the hostess is out of earshot. "If you suggested the restaurant, you can also recommend things you've tried before."

"You do realize that I can't really eat, yes?" she asks. She's only realizing now that this was a bad idea. The lesson should have been somewhere else.

"Do you have...any systems to deal with food?" he asks.

"I can, to blend in. It is, however, wasting the food, since I cannot obtain any nutritional value from it."

"That sucks," he says. "If your date picks a restaurant, you should get something, even if they know about you. It's strange for one person to be eating and one person not to be. Ideally, if they know about you, they won't take you to a place like this."

"You know about me," she points out.

"Yep. But this is a common thing to do on dates, so I want to coach you on what to do here."

"Okay," she says. She opens up her menu. "So, Professor Kuranari, what do you recommend?"

"I've never been here before," he says. "We'll ask the waiter what he recommends when he gets back. For now, drinks?"

"Alright," she says. "What should I do about alcohol? I can't pretend to be intoxicated."

"Tell your date that you don't drink," he says. "It's not uncommon for people to refuse it. If you're not at a stage where you're prepared to inform them that you're a robot, then you can refuse to tell them any reason why, too. If they order a bottle for the table anyways, then you still don't have to drink it. And if they try to pressure you into getting drunk, you should try to get away as soon as possible. I used to be classmates with men like that. They'll use it to pry you open and force you into things you've already said you can't do."

"You realize I cannot actually be intoxicated, yes?" She furrows her brows. It's nice to be treated like an ordinary person, but there's a point where it transforms into her limitations being forgotten.

"Right, right," he says. "But still, that's the kind of person that would try to pressure you to drink. If they don't respect your preferences with that, they won't respect your preferences later."

She nods. "I understand."

Just then, the waiter turns up at their table. "Can I get you two some drinks to start?"

"Sure," Kuranari-san says. "The two of us will do water, thank you. Do you have any recommendations for what to eat here?"

"I recommend the eel for two," the waiter says dutifully. "The gyoza are also a specialty of ours."

"We'll take both, then," Sora says, trying to follow the script Kuranari-san implicitly laid for her. "Thank you."

Kuranari-san nods at her, just slightly. The waiter makes a note of their order and walks off. 

"That was good," he says. "Don't let someone speak over you if you haven't already talked about it beforehand, like we did. Even if someone thinks they might want to surprise you with something you like, it might backfire on them."

"Alright," she says.

An awkward silence falls between them.

"See," he says, "this is what you want to avoid. The better you know your date, the less awkward it'll be."

Sora tilts her head. "Are you saying we don't know each other well, professor?" 

The comment doesn't quite land with him, it seems, because he flinches at that, too.

"I think you probably know me better than I know you, Akanegasaki-kun," he says, leaning on their kayfabe. "It's natural, I believe."

"I'd like you to know me, too," she says, and internally cringes. It's too real for...whatever the two of them are doing. Too close to her true desires.

"Of course," he says, and she's not sure, but she thinks she spots that same hint of "real" on his face.

Sora doesn't want to be the kind of person who would...enable...whatever it is Kuranari-san is doing. She doesn't want to steal him from Komachi-san, or anything like that.

But there are parts of him that she wants to keep. Not to own solely, but to have at all.

"So what should I talk about?" she asks.

"You can ask about personal things, but nothing overly personal, like family. So, for example: what kind of music do you like to listen to?"

"I like classical music," she answers. "Japanese classical, not Western. The koto is especially beautiful, in my opinion."

"What's a koto?" he asks.

"It's a type of string instrument," she says. "It has thirteen strings, and is played flat on a table."

"You know, my friends and I once thought about starting a rock band," he says, a smile on his face.

"Oh? Which instrument did you play?"

"I was supposed to be on rhythm guitar," he says. "Sayaka was going to be the lead singer and guitarist, she was a legitimate musician. Satou was on bass, and Suzuki was on drums. Satou had played before. Suzuki and I were learning, though. It wasn't easy."

Sora attempts to picture him as a rockstar, or something of the like. The image doesn't quite come together, though.

"Did it not work out, or was it because of..."

"A bit of both," he admits. "Suzuki had a thing for Sayaka, but that didn't work out. And then we went to LeMU together."

"Ah." She frowns. "Did you enjoy it, at least?"

"Yeah," he says. "I was shit at guitar, but it was fun."

Sora smiles at him. He returns it.

"Good work," he says. "For small talk, you want to keep it going by asking follow-up questions. You want to meet your date at the same level."

"I can't really do dexterous tasks," Sora admits. "So I couldn't really play a string instrument. Perhaps percussion."

"You can't?" he asks.

"Technology is pretty good," she says, raising a hand and moving around her fingers. "But it is imperfect. The more degrees of freedom one has, the slower the movement. I would be able to play, but nothing that would be suitable for a rock band."

"Chopsticks, then?"

"Fine," she says. "When necessary. I eat a bit slower, though. Pardon me for that."

"It's alright," he says. "You don't need to apologize for it. There are a lot of reasons someone might eat slower."

"If you say so," she says. She's less certain about it. He's always had a more positive way of viewing the world. She admires that about him, but she has difficulty imagining a world where people accept her as a person, despite all of her limitations. He seems to believe that the majority of people live in that world, and those who don't aren't worth her time. She's not sure she can believe in that.

The waiter returns with two glasses of water and a plate of gyoza.

"Thank you," Sora says. Kuranari-san echoes it.

"Enjoy," the waiter says blandly, bowing to them before walking away.

Sora picks up her chopsticks and feels the motors in her hand click-click-clicking to give her the motion. Kuranari-san watches her hand with close attention. She wants him to never look away. She wants him to stop.

She reaches for the first dumpling. She doesn't bother with the sauce. It's not as though she’s able to taste it. Her judgements of food are all based on their textures.

The texture of the dumpling is nice, though. It's what she imagines is perfect. Crisp and chewy.

Kuranari-san hums as he takes a bite out of his, and then devours the rest. "This is really good," he says.

"I'll take your word for it," she says, reaching for a second piece.

"You can't taste?" he asks.

She shakes her head and swallows. "Yubiseiharukana-san said it would be difficult to program. She was willing to accept the challenge, if I wished for it, but...I didn't want to burden her further. It's not a necessity. It's wasteful for me to eat food to begin with, since my body does not rely on it." 

"You should do things you like, you know?" he says. "It's not just about what's necessary to survive. You should enjoy living, too."

"I do," she says. "I truly do. I'm lucky enough to have this, I think."

"I think you should want more than this," he says.

She thinks about the story Tanaka-san told in 2017, about the sculptor who loved his creation so much that she came to life. She thinks if something of the like could happen, it would. That she would be transformed by his love already, into something well and truly human, without the limitations of what she has now. But that story did not happen in reality, and such a thing cannot happen to her.

"Do you want more?" she asks.

"I always want more," he answers, looking directly at her. "Maybe I want too much," he follows it with, softer.

"It's not too much for me," Sora says. "If there is anything you would want from me...I would do anything in my power to make it happen."

He reaches for a third dumpling instead of replying. Sora reaches for the last one, so both of their mouths could be full at once.

"I'm sorry," he says once he swallows. "I've been a neglectful teacher, haven't I?"

"It's not a problem," she says. "I agreed because I wished to spend more time with you. And because it was what you wished for, as well. But...I don't find the artifice necessary to spend time together."

It feels futile to let Kuranari-san teach her how to be in a relationship with someone else. 

But that's something she can't say to him, no matter what.

He smiles. "But...have you been interested in anyone, in the past seventeen years? Have you tried to pursue it?"

"I couldn't," she says. "It was impossible."

"Ah, yeah, I get it," he says. "It must have felt impossible when you didn't even have a body."

"Ah...yes," Sora says. "Now it is difficult, but...not necessarily impossible."

"If it's not impossible, then maybe you can try." He offers her another smile, like he's genuinely hopeful for her prospects.

The only prospect she's had is with him. She'd been content before 2017. When he came into her life, he introduced splashes of color to it, so that she'd never be happy with a monochrome existence. 

"Maybe," she agrees, and leaves it at that.

The rest of the meal goes more smoothly, with Kuranari-san enjoying their main course, as well.

Sora takes the bill as soon as it arrives at their table.

"Tuition fees, remember?" she asks with a smile.

He looks up at her, eyes wide.

"Not everyone will take such an offer so easily," he says quietly, after a moment. "Some people are so proud that they'll refuse to let someone else take care of them, even to their own detriment."

"I understand," she says. "What should I do, then?"

"If it's possible, try to split the bill with your partner. We agreed in advance that you would pay, so that's fine, too. Usually, you'd settle this kind of thing as it came up. It's a case-by-case basis, even with the same person."

She doubts she'll ever be on a date with anyone outside of him. She nods in agreement and sets her debit card inside the booklet.

Kuranari-san walks her home as well. The Tanaka household is far from where the Kuranaris live if one were to walk between them. She hopes that he will take the train.

"Goodbye," she says. She wishes he didn't have to leave. She stands in front of the door. "If you see Komachi-san before I do, give her my regards."

"I will," he says, and presses a kiss to her cheek.

She lets the ghost of his touch linger on her mind as she watches him walk away. She turns towards the door when she can no longer spot him, turned around the street corner.

"So how is Kuranari doing?" Tanaka-san asks.

"He...was doing well," Sora says. A lot of things are true at once. Kuranari-san seemed well physically. He seemed unmoored, less sure of himself. She isn't certain of how to classify that. Perhaps he isn't doing well after all. She wouldn't be able to explain that. It's best not to, when she doesn't fully understand why either.

"That's good," she says. "I worry sometimes. I mean, me and Ryogo are older than him now. Tsugumi is twice his age. He's closer to his kids' age than to ours. It's...I can only imagine how isolating that is."

Sora is...a bit different. She is programmed to act as though she is 24 years old, in perpetuity. And if she counts from when she was first booted up for service, then she is 23 years old. It's a bit strange to think that time might surpass her assigned age soon.

But perhaps that is why he sought her out. She is older than him, yes, but it's by the same amount as before. She has stagnated in that time.

Perhaps that makes them the same.

"I do think he is lonely," she answers. "But I can only hope that my company can help with that."

"Company's the best thing for that," Tanaka-san responds. "As long as he wants yours, you should stay."

"That is what I plan to do," she says, and in saying it makes it true.

The next time Kuranari-san invites her somewhere, it is to a painting class. The model painting is a sunset landscape. She thinks it might be nice to have something of hers hanging inside of her room.

She's never had a lot of things of her own. Anything in LeMU was property of Leiblich Pharmaceuticals. Her only possessions are her clothes.

Perhaps she should get some potted plants, or start a garden. She'd enjoyed taking care of the flowers at LeMU -- monitoring their water levels and alerting human staff if she thought the plants needed to be fertilized.

There are a great many things she would like to do. She can, now. She's not sure it's truly sunk in yet.

"I haven't done anything like this since I was a kid," Kuranari-san confesses in a whisper as the instructor begins to sketch the outline of where the colors will go on the canvas. Sora has her pencil in hand, following the instructor's steps with precision.

Later, as they're painting large swaths of color, the instructor approaches the nook of the table they've claimed for themselves.

"What are your names again?" she asks.

"Akanegaski Sora," she answers with a bow.

"And your boyfriend?"

Sora flushes. She hadn't been certain she could do that in this body.

"Kuranari Takeshi," he says, smiling, but blushing, too.

"It's a pleasure to meet you both," the instructor says. "Akanegasaki-san, I must commend you. You've copied the model painting quite well."

Sora ducks her head.

"But...have you ever painted on your own before?" she continues. "Attempted to make your own art?"

Sora shakes her head. "No. This is my first time painting."

"I don't know if you'd be any good at it," the instructor admits. Kuranari-san looks almost offended on her behalf. She places a calming hand on his arm. "But I'd like to see what you could do if you weren't being restrained by replicating someone else's work. You are very good at that, though. Don't get into art forgery." She winks, and then walks away.

"Well, seems like you've got a lucrative career in art forgery if you want it," Kuranari-san jokes. He examines her painting more closely, and then looks at the model in front of the room. "She was pretty rude to you, though."

"I wouldn't say that she was wrong," Sora admits. She doesn't know what she would do if she had a blank canvas and no guide. "About my painting, that is. Not..."

"Yeah," he says, leaning back on his chair. "Not about that."

Did you like it as much as I did? she wonders. Did he like being taken for her boyfriend? Did he like being perceived as a couple?

It all comes back to the same thing: why exactly is he choosing to be with her? Is it because he likes her, or because he's lonely? Is it because he cares about Sora in particular, or is he just seeking to provoke Komachi-san?

She looks at his painting. It's messy, but it does resemble the painting at the front of the room. It's not a perfect copy, but it represents the way that he sees it.

How does she see the image? What does a perfect replica say about her?

In the end, she decides to hang the finished painting on her room's door. Yubiseiakikana-san is the first to notice it.

"Did you paint that?" she asks, direct as always.

"Kuranari-san and I took a class," Sora answers.

"It looks nice." She nods, approving. "But...I don't really think Mayo or Hokuto would appreciate if you broke up their parents."

"Kuranari-san can make his own choices," she says, trying not to feel the sting of it. "You're..."

Barely younger than him, and dating his son.

She narrows her eyes. "It's not just about them. It's about you, too. I want you to be happy."

Yubiseiakikana-san hardly knows her, as she exists now. Sora had split in two in 2017, and now all she had to show for it were two parallel sets of memories, one from the cradle of Leiblich Pharmaceuticals and the other kept secret for the sake of a fantastical plan.

She's glad now that there is only one Akanegasaki Sora, and she's grounded to a single place. She is no longer omnipresent. It'd been too much, back then.

Yubiseiakikana-san has no reason to care, as she does now. She is, at best, a coworker that lives inside her house now.

"I cannot say that I am happy," she admits, "but I am happier than I was at LeMU."

Yubiseiakikana-san nods. "It's not a bad painting. You should do it again. I think it'd be good."

Sora smiles. "I'd like to."

Sora wonders what she would think if she knew that it was just a replica, one so perfect that the painting had ended up nearly indistinguishable from the original.

She knows she has a great many limitations. She would prefer that making art would not be one of them.

Then again, she doesn't truly know if that is the case yet.

Sora does continue to paint. She walks down the street to a small park to set up a newly bought easel and canvas and paints whatever comes to mind. The paintings are still realistic, but she likes the limitations that her paint and her brushes have. They won't be mistaken for photos.

Sometimes, that's on purpose, too. She paints the image of a couple walking through the park, obscuring their faces a bit in favor of attempting to capture the emotions they held for each other. She paints an old woman who tosses breadcrumbs to the birds, the exact details of her face invisible save for the joy.

Some days she wanders around, sketching out different types of flowers. There's paintings of trees, birds, the park's fountain. She doesn't depart until she's finished one.

It's nice to feel as though she has something of her own. Kaburaki-san and Tanaka-san help her hang them around the house, bickering over where they should go and if the paintings are straight on the wall. Sora lets them go on about that for a bit before she straightens it herself.

Even if she moves out, she will still have left her mark here, in splashes of color on the walls. She doesn't intend to take them with her if she leaves. Wherever she goes next, she'll bring color there.

Kuranari-san does come to the house to pick her up the next time. She ends up inviting him inside, instead.

"You guys are about to do lunch?" he asks.

Sora nods. "I believe it's Kaburaki-san's turn to cook today. He takes turns with Tanaka-san."

He furrows his brows. "And it's...edible?"

"Do you truly believe that Tanaka-san raised her daughter solely on pre-made meals?"

"I...didn't forget," he says. "I just didn't think of that."

He's not nearly as well-adjusted to this time as he claims, is he? He'd probably hate to have her pity. She can't help that she feels it.

Kaburaki-san pokes his head out from the doorway. "Oh. Hi, Takeshi."

"Hey," he responds. "Got room for one more?"

"Sure," Kaburaki-san answers. "You can swing by anytime, you know?"

"I might just take you up on that," he answers.

"Sora, you should show him around the house a bit," he suggests. "If you want."

Sora frowns. All of a sudden, she feels as though the paintings are too personal. As though all of them have a little piece of who she is inside of them, and Kuranari-san knows her well enough to see the pieces of her in each of them.

"Certainly," she says, bowing, leaning on her earliest protocols. She leads him through the dining room and into the kitchen, where Tanaka-san is dicing a spring onion as Kaburaki-san minds the stove.

"Oh, hey, Kuranari," Tanaka-san says. "I...didn't know you were coming today."

"I wanted to surprise Sora," he answers with a smile. "We're heading to the botanical gardens later today."

"Sounds like fun," Tanaka-san responds. "But yeah, if you wanna have lunch with us before you go, I'm fine with that."

"I'll stay then, I guess," he answers. "By the way, who did the painting in the dining room?" He looks over. "Or the one here?"

Sora freezes. The one in the dining room is the one of the couple in the park. Kaburaki-san and Tanaka-san had liked that one the most, and wanted guests to see it the most. The one here is just a few birds.

"That was Sora, actually," Tanaka-san answers. "I heard the two of you did a class?"

"We did," he says, looking more closely at the painting in the kitchen.

"I started doing one every day," she finally admits. "I walked to the park and painted what I saw."

"That's cool," he says. "I like them. I think my favorite will be the one in the dining room, though."

Sora smiles. "Thank you."

They head to the botanical gardens after lunch. Sora brings a sketchbook, after some encouragement. She's never used it before, but it might be nice.

The gardens are beautiful.

"I want something like this, someday," she confesses. "Not of this scale, obviously. But I'd like to grow a garden of my own."

She wants to be able to feel the dirt underneath her fingers. To do the labor of pulling up weeds.

Kuranari-san smiles at her. "Maybe one day we could do it together."

She's lost in the fantasy for a moment of her and Kuranari-san bringing up a garden together, in a shared backyard or something of the like, out in the sun together, pulling up weeds from a flowerbed.

And then it hits her again -- that dream can never be real. Why would he ever choose her over Komachi-san, a woman who can give him everything that he desires from a relationship? Why would he choose to be with her, when he's already so entangled with someone else?

"Kuranari-san..."

"Is there something wrong?" It's the same as before. He hasn't even realized that he's done anything. He's failed to see her limits.

"I don't know what you want from me," she says, "and I don't like that. I know that you're struggling right now. But I can't keep doing this. I feel like you're using me, but I can't tell what it is you're using me for."

"Sora, I--"

"You told me when we started that you loved Komachi-san. And then, afterwards, you attempted to teach me how to go on a date. We went out again after that, and you blushed when you were referred to as my boyfriend. At home, you complimented my painting of another couple, and said it was your favorite. I need to know how you truly feel about me. Before..." She looks away. "...I get my hopes up."

Kuranari-san places a hand on her cheek. She's forced to look at him.

And then he kisses her.

It only lasts for a moment before she pulls herself back and runs. It's not really an answer. It's just an escalation of what they've already been doing.

Sora needs to hear the words, more than anything else. But if today has been a sign of anything, it's that she will never hear those words.

"Thank you for agreeing to meet with me," Sora says. Komachi-san sits across from her, outside at a café. Sora got a drink for the sake of etiquette, but Komachi-san stole it from her and is sipping on it as she takes bites from a large cookie.

"It wasn't so hard," she says. "What did you want to talk to me about?"

"It's about Kuranari-san. I wanted to ask about your relationship."

"It isn't much of one," Komachi-san admits. "I don't trust easily. He's the only person I trusted since I escaped."

Sora hesitates for a moment, but she resolves to hope that he will forgive her for her transgression. "He told me he loved you."

Komachi-san frowns. "That's probably the case. Why does it matter?"

"Do you love him, too?"

"Love means something different to me," Komachi-san answers, drumming her fingers on the table. "I don't trust you enough to tell you why."

"I only ask because..." She tells Komachi-san about the dates. She includes the argument, but excludes the kiss.

"I care less than you think," Komachi-san responds after Sora finishes. "You and I don't have the same desires from our relationships. The things that you told me about...they're not something I need from Takeshi. The twins have a certain view of our relationship, but it's not a relationship that I want."

"You can do something I can't as well," Sora confesses. "I don't want to partake in physical intimacy. I...used to be jealous, but that was more for touch in general than the intimacy in particular. Now that I have a body, it's not something I'm interested in."

"Then I don't see any issues. You don't need my permission to do what you want."

"Where do the two of us stand?"

Komachi-san sighs. "It's a pointless question, but you do seem genuinely worried about it. I have no issues with you. Even less now that you aren't directly under Leiblich's control. We may not want the same things, but that makes this more possible, not less."

"Good," Sora nods. "Thank you." She rises from her seat.

Was it really that simple the whole time? To just...lay out the things that she wants?

She hadn't known. She would never have thought about it, once upon a time. It'd been one of her many limitations.

She still has some, but that's not one of them.

She approaches Kuranari-san first this time, since she's certain that he won't come to her after the transgression.

"Hi, Sora," he says.

"Would you mind taking a walk with me?"

"Uh..." He looks around for something. "Sure."

"Excellent." Sora waits for him to put on shoes before he steps out of the door, closing it behind him.

"So what is this about?" he asks.

"I wanted to tell you that I spoke with Komachi-san about...what a relationship might mean for the three of us," she says. "I realized that our relationships with you fulfill different niches, so...you aren't supplanting her in favor of me."

"You were kinda right, though," he admits. "I was using you. I feel lonely a lot. Everybody's different from what I was expecting. But you..."

"I hadn't changed." She looks down at her feet.

"You have," he says. "I just didn't see it. The old Sora would never have stood up to me like that."

"You...really think so?" she asks. She thinks she might have. She was always willing to stand for the things that she wanted.

Maybe she just wouldn't have been able to resist.

"Yeah," he answers. "It's my fault. I just wanted you."

"I do reciprocate your feelings. That was never the question." She looks at him. "I didn't believe it was possible to be with you. But I believe in it now."

"I...never believed it."

Her eyes widen.

"Back in LeMU, it was hard for me to sort out how I felt about both of you. It...was a lot. And then afterwards Tsugumi and I got married. I thought our lessons were the only way we could be together. And then you asked me to stop."

"I couldn't pretend anymore," she says. "I couldn't put any more distance between us."

"Call me by my first name, then," he says with a smile. "So there's no more distance between us."

"Takeshi," she says, and she leans to kiss him again, smiling as she does.

Takeshi pulls back first, a smile on his lips. "How's that for belief?"

Sora remembers the trees of possibilities that exist. But she likes the point of the Y she's arrived at. She doesn’t need a look at another.