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One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“Why aren’t you answering your calls anymore? Don’t you miss me and my voice? I miss yours. Won’t you call me back?”
One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“JJ here… You might remember me. Your king. The love of your life. Your boyfriend. Irresistible me trying to get in touch with irresistible you. If you could call me back, I’d appreciate it. Love you. Seriously, call me.”
One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“It’s been two weeks and you haven’t acknowledged the fact that I exist. What the fuck is going on Seung-gil?”
One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“Are you even getting these? I know you're alive since your coach is keeping the fanpage updated on your progress. Call me.”
One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“Listen here. I don’t know what the fuck your problem is, but maybe calling your boyfriend at least once in three weeks would be appreciated. Hey, I’d even be satisfied with a text. You know, just to let me know that you even consider us together because right now I really don’t know. Fucking just let me know.”
(3) Missed Calls from Jean-Jacques
“A month. I haven’t heard from you in a month. What did I do?”
“Are we even together?”
“Seung-gil… just answer your phone. Please.”
One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“Fine. I get it. You’re freezing me out. Great. Enjoy your life, asshole. I’m going to enjoy mine. I don’t need this.”
One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“Fuck, Seung-gil. Why? Just why? Did I do something? Is it your training? Did you just need a break? You could have at least talked to me about it. We’re busy… but shit, we could have just talked. I love you. Please… just let me know.”
It was obvious that Jean was drunk in his most recent message. Still, Seung-gil saved it and put his phone down before he did something stupid like actually call the man back.
He was unaware how persistent Jean would be.
It was his own fault for assuming that the man would just forget about him and move on to the next person. Seung-gil hadn’t accounted for love and an actual relationship that he had no clue how to keep up with.
Honestly, he didn’t know what they were thinking by starting this relationship. Seung-gil knew it was doomed from the start. They were too far from each other and had too much of their own things going on. Jean was always busy with promoting and training. Seung-gil was too focused on perfecting his program for the coming competitive season.
Part of him understood how cruel he was being, but he didn’t know how to break up with someone. This was easier for him, or at least he thought it would be.
It wasn’t. Every call wore him down and every voice message made his heart beat faster. He saved every message so he could listen to them over and over. It was pathetic, really. Seung-gil needed to focus on things that were important and right now, Jean had to be far from that.
Seung-gil got up from the bench and went back to the edge of the rink, pushing Jean-Jacques out of his mind.
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One Missed Call from Jean-Jacques
“I have come to terms that you will not be calling back. So, I’ll do what you were too much of a coward to do. I want to break up.”
Seung-gil saved the message. There were tears rolling down his cheeks, but he saved the message regardless. The pressure building behind his eyes and the ache in his chest made it so that he had to cancel his training session.
When he got home, he pulled out his phone and brought his messaging app up. Seung-gil paused over Jean’s icon. “What am I doing?”
Seung-gil locked his phone, put it back in his pocket and picked up his dog’s leash. “Nabee?”
The Siberian Husky ran into the room and hopped on her hind legs. “Alright, girl. Want to go for a walk?”
She barked and Seung-gil smiled softly. He linked the leash to her collar and took her out the door. This would have to suffice to distract him.
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(3) New Messages from Phichit
Phichit: www.sportsworld.com/jj-leroy-love-on-ice
Phichit: this is not you
Phichit: I’m confused… what happened?
Seung-gil ignored the messages. He didn’t need to click the link to know that Jean had started seeing one of the female figure skaters, or at least had been caught kissing one of the female figure skaters at one of his national competitions.
It wasn’t any of his business, anyway. Jean had broken up with him, which was exactly what he had wanted. Why did it matter what the man did in his spare time? He could sleep with every single one of the men and women skaters and Seung-gil wouldn’t have the right to feel upset.
New Message from Phichit
Phichit: I can see that you saw the message by the way
Seung-gil sighed and tapped out a reply.
SGL: we broke up he can do what he wants
He locked the phone and tossed it into his bag before he could get a reply. The last thing he wanted was to actually talk about how he felt.
Especially since he didn’t get a right to feel upset.
Yet, he was sure that the uneasy feeling in his stomach didn’t care if he had the right or not.
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Seung-gil hadn’t thought about what he would do when he faced Jean again. He gripped his bag tighter as he remembered the day he got the assignments and found out that he would be competing against his ex in not only one competition, but both.
Both.
He should have been prepared for this. Seung-gil knew that he’d have to eventually see him again. They were competitors. There was no avoiding the man. He just didn’t realize that time had passed that fast and that he’d see him at the very first competition in America.
The very same minute he walked into the hotel.
Jean glanced at him and turned his attention back to the girl at his side. It was a different girl than the one from the article months ago, but she looked similar. Black hair, light skin, and a dark eye color. Not that Seung-gil took any notice.
He kept walking toward the check in desk and hoped to be in his room as soon as he possibly could.
“Seung-gil!” Someone called from behind. He had decided to ignore then when an arm was being thrown around his shoulder. “Don’t ignore me. I’m being friendly.”
Seung-gil relaxed when he saw it was Phichit. “I don’t want to be friendly.”
“I know, which is why we’re now friends.” He smiled. “Plus, JJ’s here and you shouldn’t have to deal with him alone if he does decide to talk to you.”
“I’m the one who broke up with him.” Seung-gil said.
“Also something I know, but JJ’s brought that girl with him for a reason and we all know how he can be.”
Seung-gil frowned. That wasn’t necessarily true. Jean was someone else completely when he wasn’t on stage or on the ice. Most of what everyone else saw was an act. Not that Jean wasn’t self absorbed and arrogant, he was, but he was toned down when people weren’t watching.
“I don’t know what Jean will do.” He said instead.
“Well, you have my number. If he tries anything, just message me and I’ll take you away.” Phichit squeezed his shoulder and let him go. “I know you won’t want to, but I thought I’d say it anyway.”
Seung-gil nodded and turned his attention back to the front desk. Phichit laughed a little and walked back to where he was talking to the American skater, Leo.
Once he got his room key, he went straight to the elevator. Of course, his luck would have it that Jean and the girl were waiting by the elevator as well.
He sucked in a breath and didn’t spare then a glance as he stood next to them as they waited. However, the girl didn’t leave well enough alone.
“Oh, you must be Seung-gil! It’s nice to meet you.”
He glanced her way. “I’d rather not do this.”
Jean frowned. “There’s no need to be rude. She’s only being nice.”
“It serves no purpose. We won’t be friends.” He shrugged. Thankfully the elevator opened and Seung-gil stepped in. He pressed his floor number and waited for the two to follow, but they didn’t.
Jean looked at him with disappointment and the girl looked shock. Seung-gil forced himself not to care as the door slid shut between them.
He sighed. This was not going to be easy.
The moment he got to his room, his phone buzzed. He knew exactly who it was before he pulled it out of his jacket pocket.
Jean-Jacques: That was my cousin, Seung.
Jean-Jacques: You didn’t have to be rude
Jean-Jacques: I didn’t want to be like this
Jean-Jacques: Can’t we be civil?
Seung-gil looked at his phone and sighed. Of course it was his cousin. And of course Jean would feel the need to message him when all he wanted was to be left alone.
SGL: You don’t have to worry about me.
SGL: I’m only here to compete and win.
There. Seung-gil felt that he’d given Jean enough to know that he didn’t want to interact with him.
Jean-Jacques: I’m surprised you answered.
Jean-Jacques: My cousin said she forgives you, by the way.
Seung-gil sighed. This man could never just leave well enough alone.
SGL: would you like me to ignore you
SGL: I can
Jean-Jacques: if I say no, will you continue talking to me?
No. He couldn’t do this. It had been too long for him to break now. It was unfair to Jean.
SGL: we shouldn’t talk
Jean-Jacques: well, we are
Jean-Jacques: and we should
SGL: why?
SGL: what purpose does it serve? I can be civil with you, but I don’t want to do this
Jean-Jacques: do what? message? talk?
SGL: yes
Jean-Jacques: if you don’t want to, I can’t force you
Jean-Jacques: but just know that I’m tired of chasing you
Jean-Jacques: I won’t do it again
SGL: I never wanted you to chase me
Jean-Jacques: sure
SGL: I didn’t
SGL: I wanted to be alone
Jean-Jacques: that’s the kind of lie you can tell anyone but me
SGL: what do you want from me
SGL: I thought this was done
Jean-Jacques: right
Jean-Jacques: well goodnight and good luck, Seung
Seung-gil frowned and put his phone on the bedside table. He didn’t want to know exactly why Jean wanted to bring the topic up again. It had been a while since they officially broke up, there was no reason for them to even want to be together. Or for Jean to want to be with him.
He sat down at the edge of the bed. “What does he want?”
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His skin felt as if ants were crawling all over him. Seung-gil had finished his performance and was sitting at the Kiss and Cry waiting for his results. He thought he had done well, but the judges were notoriously tough.
The screen popped up and his eyes widened. He had beat his own personal score and was currently in first place.
His coach squeezed his shoulder and brought him close in a half hug. He was too happy to push her away.
He nodded a ‘thank you’ to the camera.
Of course, there were still two more skaters that needed to compete, both of them better than he was. Jean and Christophe Giacometti.
As he was walking to the back, Jean passed by him. “Stay, watch me.”
The request was quick and as soon as the words left his mouth, Jean was pulled away. Seung-gil looked at his coach, who nodded. He supposed he could leave the interviewers waiting a bit longer.
An announcer introduced Jean as he skated to the center of the rink and got in position for his performance. Seung-gil stood there, transfixed even as they announced that Jean’s theme was forgiveness.
The music began and as every second ticked by, every perfect jump and sequence, Seung-gil knew that he wouldn’t be getting gold. His heart pounded and it wasn’t until the very end, when Jean was looking right at him, hands stretched out toward him, that he noticed he had tears in his eyes.
He couldn’t move, even though he knew that the longer he stayed there, the more his resolve would disappear and he’d do something stupid.
Jean bowed and air kissed the crowd, ending with his traditional ‘JJ Style’ hand gesture before he skated off. Seung-gil still didn’t move.
“How was that?” Jean asked.
Seung-gil didn’t have words to respond with.
“Seung-gil?” He frowned.
“Why?” He managed to squeak out.
“Why? Why what?” Jean sighed.
“Why ‘forgiveness’ and why did you want me to see it?” Seung-gil said.
“Because I forgive you?”
Seung-gil frowned. “You shouldn’t.”
“You don’t get to decide that.” Jean shrugged. “You’re forgiven and I’m not mad at you anymore.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.”
“It doesn’t have to make sense, Seung-gil. Sometimes that’s just how things are.” Jean smiled softly. “You can’t control everything.”
When Seung-gil didn’t say anything, Jean nudged past him.
Seung-gil caught his hand. “Wait.”
Jean looked back at him. “What?”
“You’re right.”
“What do you mean?” Jean asked.
“I can’t control everything. I never should have tried. Things don’t have to make sense.”
Jean relaxed. “I-
“I still love you.” Seung-gil admitted and it felt as if a weight was lifted off of his shoulders. A secret that he kept to himself for far too long had finally been revealed.
Jean looked at him before he pulled Seung-gil in and kissed him. They didn’t care that everyone was watching them or that Christophe had walked by and had wolf whistled at them or the fact that cameras were going off.
Seung-gil pulled away, but Jean followed him and kissed him again. Soft and slow, not at all messy like Seung-gil had imagined what their reunion kiss would be like. He also didn’t imagine thousands of people cheering them on, either, but all of that was unimportant.
They parted and Jean rested his forehead against Seung-gil’s. “So, what does this mean?”
Seung-gil sighed. “I guess it means that I don’t want to control everything or make everything logical.”
“And?” Jean smiled.
“And I really want to try again.”
“Try what again?” He teased.
“Jean.”
Jean pecked his lips. “I’m kidding. We can try again, but I swear if you try ignoring me again, I’ll fly to South Korea and kick your ass.”
Seung-gil blushed. “Okay.”
“Okay.”
“We should-
“Go? Yeah. Everyone is looking, which I mean, I don’t mind, but you-
“It’s okay.” Seung-gil interrupted. “We should still go, but I don’t care about them.”
“Okay.” Jean smiled. Seung-gil couldn’t resist kissing him again before he let go and walked into the media circus that was surely waiting for them.
Jean followed after him.
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FOUR MONTHS LATER
Jean: Are you almost here?
Jean: Was your flight delayed?
Jean: Why didn’t you just let me pick you up at the airport
Jean: It would have been easier!
Seung-gil rolled his eyes as he turned on his phone and the onslaught of text messages came in from his boyfriend. He swiped so he could reply.
SGL: I just got here. Slight delay, but already getting a cab. Be patient.
Jean: How mad would you be if I told you I drove to the airport anyway
Jean: And have been waiting here for thirty minutes
Of course, he had. Seung-gil sighed and walked over to the baggage claim. He supposed Jean greeting him instead of a stranger was a much better option, though.
SGL: you didn’t
Jean: I did and I got you starbucks
Jean: White chocolate mocha
Jean: Nice and warm
Jean: I know you’re tempted
Seung-gil laughed and put his phone in his pocket. The moment he saw his bag, he picked it up and walked out to the main lobby.
Jean was entirely too easy to notice. Damp hair, leather jacket, sunglasses and a large cup of Seung-gil’s drink. The smile appeared easily on his face as Seung-gil walked toward him.
“Seung!” He called out, clearly just to be obnoxious. Still, Seung-gil smiled.
“Jean.”
As soon as Seung-gil was close enough, Jean pulled him into a hug. “I’ve missed you.”
“I missed you, too.”
“Missed me enough for a kiss?” Jean pulled away enough so they could see each other and winked.
Seung-gil shook his head slightly and let out a laugh. “Maybe.”
“Ouch, I’m hurt.”
“Oh, shut up.” Seung-gil muttered as he pulled Jean down and kissed him. Jean hummed as he deepened the kiss and pulled Seung-gil closer to him. A small smile played on each of their lips.
When they pulled away, they ignored the fact that people were looking at them. They didn’t matter.
“Well, let’s get going. I have a big day planned for us.” Jean spoke up.
“Do we?”
“I haven’t had you to myself in a long time. Of course we have a long day today and tomorrow, too. Probably the whole week. But I only meticulously planned for two days. First we’ll g-
“Jean.” Seung-gil laughed. Jean looked down at him, eyes widened with happiness. “Let’s go.”
“Of course.” He quickly kissed Seung-gil and pulled away. “Let’s go.”