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Robby was pulling weeds in the backyard. He paused to brush the sweat off his brow, wiping a streak of dirt down his cheek. He leaned back on his knees, letting out a soft groan as he clutched the small of his back. He was probably getting too old for this, but on his days off, he found it impossible to sit still. Not that he had many chances to sit still anymore.
From behind him, he heard the screen door bang shut, followed by the sound of his husband arguing with their two-year-old daughter.
“I’m sorry, Sweetpea, but Daddy doesn’t know who you’re talking about. Let’s go ask Papa, okay?”
Jack’s offer earned a pitiful whimper of agreement from the toddler, making Robby’s heart swell and sink all at once. He turned on his heels just as Jack set her on the ground, and she immediately launched herself into Robby’s arms, sobbing.
“Oh, Honey!” Robby crooned. “Do you wanna tell Papa what’s wrong?”
She shook her head against his shoulder, so Robby turned to Jack for an explanation.
“She wants to FaceTime someone to show them the picture she drew, but I can’t understand who she’s asking for, and I know there’s no way she actually said what I think she said.”
“Daddy NOT listening, Papa!”
“It’s frustrating when grown-ups can’t understand you, huh?” Robby asked his daughter.
She sniffled and nodded, seemingly starting to calm herself down.
“Do you want to show Papa the picture you drew?” Robby offered as a distraction.
Jack handed him a piece of yellow construction paper as he shifted on his heels and settled the toddler into his lap.
“Oh, look at that!” Robby exclaimed. “This is a very cute… uh…”
“Papa, issa dinosau-wuh! Not cute! Scawwy! RAWR!”
Robby chuckled at his daughter’s raspy growl. “Well, this is an excellent drawing, Sweetheart.” He planted a kiss on her temple before setting her down to pull out his phone. “Now, can you tell Papa who you were trying to call?”
“CALL FUCKLEBEWWY!” She screeched into the phone with as much gusto as a two-year-old could muster.
Robby looked up at Jack, grimacing as he fought back a laugh.
“See what I mean?” Jack asked, tilting his head.
Robby nodded. “And, unfortunately, she said exactly what you think she said.”
He took his phone and used the voice command to call Whitaker before handing it back to the toddler. She happily scurried off, clutching Robby’s phone in one hand and flapping the drawing around in the other.
Jack offered Robby his hand, and Robby winced as he eased up from the ground. “Ugh, I’m getting too old for this!”
“Oh, yardwork is too intense, but flinging the kid over your shoulder like a sack of potatoes when she falls asleep on the couch is no problem?”
“Hey, that’s different!” Robby argued, “She weighs, like, nothing. Maybe a little more when she’s asleep, but at least carrying her doesn’t involve my knees.”
They watched lovingly as the little girl laid her picture on the grass and struggled to aim the phone at it. “Can you see it too, Twinnadee?”
“So, Fuckleberry is Whitaker?” Jack asked to clarify.
“Yeah,” said Robby. “Remind me tomorrow to tell Santos she’s lost her babysitting privileges.”
“Dinner’s almost ready,” said Jack. “And I need to get ready for work soon.”
“Yeah, why don’t you take her inside to get her washed up while I finish up out here?”
“Hey, Sweetie?” said Jack. “Can you say bye-bye to Dennis and Trinity and give Papa his phone back so we can go inside for dinner?”
Pouting, she reluctantly surrendered the phone to Robby.
“We’ll call Dennis and Trinity back before bed, okay?” Robby promised.
She tearfully nodded, then threw her arms up in the air for Jack to pick her up.
“Who else should we call to show them your picture?” Jack asked as they went inside.
“Uhh,” the toddler thought for a second before rattling off her wishlist of names. “Unca Duke, and Aunt Dana, and Langdon, and Shenny, and…”
Robby smiled, watching them until they disappeared into the house. It had been almost exactly two years since he’d picked up a fussy baby in Peds, and all plans for his sabbatical flew out the window. He often joked with Jack that, yes, it had gotten dark, and yes, he had called, and now he would be paying for it for the rest of his life. But, truth be told, Robby couldn’t imagine it any other way, nor did he want to.