Work Text:
Nights like these, Zachary lay awake, procrastinating about getting up and doing something productive, or just resting, feeling like a piece of shit. In times of need, he always sought out his boyfriend--Sixty, but that boy was probably sound asleep. Lucky him. Not kept up by his thoughts. The brunette sighed, head not leaving his shitty, cheap pillows. He just wanted to get drunk so he didn't have to feel these dumb, useless things. People had always called him either too sensitive or too cold, so he would usually put up a careless front. The only time he felt truly at peace anymore was when he downed bottles of low-end, inexpensive alcohol he'd steal from his dad.
His eyes were half-lidded and tired, sleepy tears slipping out. He felt a pit form in his stomach, sometimes how he would feel when he got too drunk and then had to puke it all out. He'd sit at the toilet, crying until he was able to throw up. He often had to use the method he'd use to lose weight fast by throwing up his food before he digested it, which was sticking two fingers down his throat until it forced vomit up. It made him cry, but what didn't anyway? He was literally crying right now. His eyes stung, and he wiped them onto his sleeves, leaving tear residue. On his dresser was a bottle of Prozac his doctor prescribed to him.
His fingers trembled as he got up to hold the pill bottle in his hand. Should he do it? Would there even be enough to be fatal? How much did it take to do anything, anyway? If he was going to kill himself, he'd just get it over with now. Ace was already dead, he and Katherine had a... complicated relationship, to say the least, and he would just rope Sixty into all of his issues, accidentally or not. He knew Sixty just wanted everyone to smile, no matter what. He liked seeing others happy, which is why he'd act as the comedic relief of the group at times. Zachary loved him with everything, but knew one of these days he had to kill himself. He was paranoid about them even lasting anyway. What if Sixty hates him secretly, or isn't ready, but is too scared to tell him?
Right. Before doing something stupid and possibly life-altering, he should text Sixty, to at least say a final 'I love you' or whatever. It wasn't the dead of night anyway, it was only around 10:30, which meant Sixty may have his phone. If not, he would have to see the messages in the morning, when Zachary was actually gone. If not for the Prozac, he would've just stolen a knife from his father's kitchen and slit his wrists with it until the blood loss did him in. Opening his buggy yet reliable phone, he tapped out a message to his boyfriend:
zachary:
Sorry if I wake you up cuz of this
I'm sorry.
i'm gonna kill myself tonight
I love you
kinda wish I got to kiss you before I died but
you just had to live so far away lol -.-
tell Katherine I hope shes better off without me
I hate to end things off badly with her
But Im really just not doing well. i know you'd be better off without me anyways and so would She. Ace is gone and all of this stupid game possession stuff is taking a toll. I cant explain it I'm too tired Im sorry you know I love you right. Im sorry for this please forgive me
Bye
Sixty:
Woah what
Zach
??!!
come back
Dont do that???
What do you have
To hurt urself with
Put it down
u should just throw it out
instead of TRYIGJn to kill lyourslrf
I have a bottle of prozac Lol
My mind is made up Sixty
Dont try to convince me not to do this
I just
wsnted to say my final goodbyfs
bdfore I djd it
I know it's just a mstter of time before you'd end up hating me and Leavign MEanwyayss
Because I'm
Too muxh ti handle
and yoiud just have enoguh
And start dating someone else
You and Katherine would probably go nice together.
Maybe you should just FORGET about me
AND datejher instead
Hm
YUeha
Lol
Forget I even existed
Thatd be easy for you wouldn't it
SAY something
Sixty:
I
dont know
waht to say
Don't do this
I'd never
leve you for katherine
I baraly even talk to her??
I don't hate y
I don't want u to do this
If you commit suecide
Suicede*
suicide*
Me katherine and your family
wuold all miss you
Zachary:
You don't have to lie
My father is a peice of shit and I coudl care LESS if he missed me or not you know.
I alrafy told tuo I made up my mind
Not lieke ur gonna csre for that lnog
We all die eventually anwyay
Im gonna stop answering
I love you sixty
Sixty:
Whathawh
WHAT
Whatahatah
What
WJAY
MNO
No
Dude
zach
ZACHARY
We can talk abt this
Baby
My lvoe
Why
are you doing thid
to both of us
PLEASE
JSut rethink things PELASE.
Come back
Im gonna call your dad
And tell him what your doing
I dont care
I ddnt want you to die zach
ZACHARY danile merson
COme back
Please
...
And there was no answer. Not for an hour, 12 hours, even the whole day after.