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Adonis often couldn't stop admiring Souma. It just so happened that his friend was incredibly beautiful both inside and out. He especially loved his smile, sincere and bright, reminiscent of the gentle spring sun. Especially when that smile was directed at him. But even when they were somewhat apart, he couldn't resist glancing at him from time to time. When this happened, Souma would sometimes notice someone's attention and their gazes would meet, causing a strange feeling in Adonis's stomach. But it also made him smile in return. His friend's cheerfulness was quite infectious.
Only... This wasn't the case now. A few days ago, Souma got really serious about his studies. The abruptness of his decision and the sudden change in his appearance made Adonis a bit uneasy, but it seemed there was nothing to worry about?.. Adonis's desk was behind and to the side of Souma's, so he could not see his face completely now. Unlike his back, which he tried to keep straight, but sometimes, apparently when concentrating too much, he would begin to lean toward the desk. Besides, he was wearing these strange glasses and a headband?... In short, it was difficult to see his facial expression. But Adonis knew for sure that he wasn't smiling and that he was frowning. On the one hand, there was nothing strange about that. If Souma had decided to take his studies seriously, of course his expression would be serious! But on the other, he couldn't help but worry about his friend. Wasn't it time for him to rest?
As if hearing this thought, Souma tilted his head back and turned it first left, then right, trying to stretch his neck. Then he rolled his shoulders. He let out a tired sigh and returned to his studies. Now his face was slightly more visible to Adonis, who could clearly see how uncharacteristically gloomy his friend was.
"Adonis, you know you're staring, right?"
He turned toward the voice. Koga stood next to him, with one hand at his side and one eyebrow raised. Adonis nodded. He had nothing to hide.
"I'm worried about Kanzaki," he answered honestly. "I hope he doesn't overwork himself."
"That’s understandable," Koga shrugged. "Although this decision of his really came out of nowhere… Hey, don't look at me like that! I'm not insulting him, I'm just surprised!"
"Yes, I know," Adonis sighed. "It's his choice, we shouldn't interfere. However... Can we help him?"
"How? He doesn't want to be distracted. I think the best way to help him is to simply leave him alone."
Adonis glanced doubtfully from Koga to Souma. His friend was right; this was indeed what Souma wanted. But Adonis found it difficult to leave it like that. Not when his dear friend was once again trying unsuccessfully to stretch his stiff shoulders and neck after sitting at the table for so long.
"Sorry, Oogami, but I have to," Adonis rose from his seat.
"Why apologize to me?" he sighed and shook his head but didn't stop his friend.
Adonis carefully approached the place by the window where Souma was sitting and stood behind him, trying not to touch the bag with the katana hanging nearby. He doubted his idea for a second. Should he ask permission first? Or is it better not to distract him with his questions? Or should he abandon the idea altogether? No, he couldn't.
"Kanzaki, can I massage your shoulders?" he finally asked.
"Yes, sure," Souma muttered monotonously, not even looking up from writing something in English (he was writing very slowly and crossing out a lot). Adonis wasn't sure he had even heard him, but technically, consent had been granted, right?
Adonis stood behind him and placed his hands on his shoulders. Souma stopped writing and raised his head, as if finally waking up from a trance and realizing what was happening. Adonis couldn't see his face from behind, but when he began slowly massaging his shoulders, he heard a very confused, "Adonisu-dono?..."
"Sorry, Kanzaki, I can stop. I know how busy you are right now. But I'd like to at least ease this burden for you. If you don't mind."
"Oh, it's... It's okay. I think I really do need this. Thank you for your consideration..." he stammered, confused. His ears seemed slightly red, Adonis thought.
Having now received a clear, conscious response, Adonis began to massage him with slightly more force. He tried to find that balance between not hurting him and ensuring his actions had an effect. Several times, Souma hissed and inhaled, and Adonis removed his hands, asking if it was painful, but Souma assured him everything was fine. At first, his shoulders were raised and tense, but gradually he relaxed.
Soon, Adonis finally decided he shouldn't waste his friend's precious time any longer. He had hoped his massage could go simultaneously with Souma studying for his exams, but apparently he couldn't concentrate on the task anymore. Adonis removed his hands from his shoulders and stepped aside. Souma hesitantly removed his glasses and turned to face him. He wasn't smiling, but his gaze was clearer than ever, and the tension had completely vanished from his face.
"I'm extremely grateful to you, Adonisu-dono. I've gotten too carried away and neglected my health. I need to be more attentive to myself so you don't have to be so attentive to me."
"It's okay, Kanzaki, it wasn't difficult for me," he smiled reassuringly, and this seemed to calm Souma.
However, out of the corner of his eye, he noticed a strange movement nearby. Natsume, who had apparently been looking in their direction earlier, quickly turned away and hid his phone. While it was a somewhat suspicious action, Adonis didn't dwell on it or draw Souma's attention to it. He decided not to distract his friend any further and returned to his seat.
***
"No, this is pointless," Souma sighed, placing his pen on the table and burying his hand in his hair. He felt the headband with his fingers and for some reason today it felt like it was just unnecessary, so he took it off, and after thinking for a bit, he took off his glasses as well. He turned around hesitantly. Adonis wasn't in class today.
Soma couldn't stop thinking about yesterday's incident. Well, 'incident' was probably a strong word. It would be more accurate to say that he couldn't stop thinking about the gesture of goodwill from his dear friend Adonisu-dono.
When Adonis gave him a massage, he certainly felt much better. But for some reason, he could no longer concentrate on his studies. All day long he felt the phantom touch of his hands, at once painful and tender, and thought only of that. And today, nothing had changed. And he couldn't understand why! Adonis had helped him more than once, and Adonis had touched him more than once, so why, when these two actions happened at the same time, did they throw Souma off balance so much? His hands hadn't touched his cheeks or ears, so why did they burn so much?
"Zakki?"
"Y-yes?!" Souma jumped in his chair in surprise. The table wobbled slightly, and his pen fell to the floor (at least it wasn't his glasses, or Hasumi-dono would never forgive him). He quickly bent down and reached for it, only to hit his head on the table as he rose back up.
"What’s wrong with you today?" Koga asked loudly when Souma finally crawled out from under the table, rubbing his head where he had hit it. "Hurts much?"
"I'm fine," Souma replied, a little annoyed at himself. "Is there anything I can help you with, Oogami-dono?"
"Nothing, really," he shrugged. "You've been out of sorts all day, it's hard to look at you. I mean... It's better than yesterday or before, but uh... I'm worried—I mean, Adonis is worried about you!"
Souma didn't comment on his behavior.
"Where is he today, then?" he asked the question that truly interested him.
"Working with Hakaze-senpai," Koga explained. "Well, I suppose he'll be back in the dorm by the end of the school day, if you want to meet him."
"I'll keep that in mind," Souma nodded.
Strange. Of course, he was always happy to meet Adonis, but his cheeks flushed again at the thought of running into him. Koga's question was fair; what was wrong with him?
When Koga left, Souma reached for his katana bag and, without fully drawing it, gripped the hilt, trying to calm his restless heart.
***
On the way to the dorm, Souma ran into an acquaintance.
"Good afternoon, Yuuki-dono."
"Ah, Kanzaki-kun, hello!" Makoto smiled warmly. "You just came from Yumenosaki, right?"
"That's right," he nodded, noticing that Makoto wasn't wearing his school uniform but casual clothes.
"And I was with Trickstar all day," well, that explained it. "But I forgot to bring my phone. Haha, our generation is often accused of being obsessed with phones, but sometimes things like this happen!"
"Oh, that happens to me quite often!" Souma said excitedly.
"Riiight, I forgot who I'm talking to..." Makoto laughed.
"Yuuki-dono, if I remember correctly, you live with Adonisu-dono?"
"That's right, and with Morisawa-senpai. Ah, so you're going to meet Otogari-kun?"
"Yes. I need to thank him for something."
"So we're going the same way," Makoto said happily. "Hehe, glad to see that you two are still so close. You're lucky enough to be in the same class again, aren't you?"
"Fufu, yes, that's happened for the third year in a row. What is this if not fate? ♪"
They chatted casually as they walked through the dorm building. After days of studying almost nonstop, casually chatting with someone was... quite calming. Of course, he intended to return to his studies as soon as he had thanked Adonis!... If that was what he was really going there for. Which he wasn't entirely sure about...
They finally reached the second floor of the building and came to their destination. Makoto opened the door to the room and entered first. Souma paused by the wall, not daring to look inside.
"Otogari-kun, hello," Makoto greeted him. "I'll be quick, I just need to pick up my phone."
"Okay, Yuuki," a familiar voice said. "Have a nice day!"
"By the way, you have a guest!"
"Hm?"
Souma finally took a hesitant step into the room, while Makoto quickened his pace, approaching the bed where his phone lay. Adonis was sitting on the sofa in front of the TV, where some movie was paused. He turned his head to see who had arrived, and his eyebrows immediately rose in surprise.
"Kanzaki? Aren't you busy right now?" he asked.
"In a way, yes, but," Souma frowned and shook his head, "there are some things that I can't get out of my head. I need to discuss them with you, otherwise I won't be able to return to my studies."
Adonis blinked in confusion. He didn't seem to understand what Souma was getting at. But he nodded, indicating he could continue.
"Haha, wait, this sounds like a private conversation, and I'm still here," Makoto reminded them about himself.
He was holding his phone and hastily checking something. He mumbled something about how he only left his phone for a short time, but there were so many new messages. Then he frowned and brought the phone a little closer to his face.
"Hm, did Anzu-chan send something from Sakasaki-kun?.. Why did she react like tha..." he trailed off, and his expression suddenly changed again. His eyes widened, and a blush appeared on his face. He glanced at Souma, then at Adonis, then back at his phone. He stuffed it in his pocket and hurried out of the room. "Yes! Right! You're alone! No problem! I'm leaving!"
The friends watched Makoto flee, whose reaction was, to put it mildly, quite uncharacteristic. What had he seen there? However, there was no time to ask him, because he flew out of the room and, perhaps, slammed the door too loudly (if Hasumi-dono had been nearby, he would have definitely made a remark). A distant conversation could be heard through the door.
"Ah, Yuuki, good to see you!"
"Morisawa-senpai, wait, don't go there! I'll explain everything to you!"
The voices faded. Souma stared at the door in confusion for a few seconds, then turned to Adonis. The latter merely shrugged, thus answering his unspoken question. Souma sighed and headed toward his friend, trying to forget... whatever had just happened. He sat down carefully on the sofa, trying not to take up too much space. The hands lying on the knees were clasped together. He looked at them, frowning again, trying to untangle his thoughts at least a little before he showed them to Adonis.
Adonis himself sat in a more relaxed pose. He looked at Souma carefully, waiting for him to speak. Souma took a deep breath and squeezed his eyes shut.
"What are you watching, Adonisu-dono?" okay, that's not what he was going to say.
Adonis made a worried expression, clearly sensing that something was wrong, but decided to answer him.
"Hakaze-senpai recommended it to me today. He said it was a really good romantic story. Something about two friends who gradually fall in love. It's not like I'm into that kind of thing, but since senpai recommended it, I decided to watch it."
"Well, I hope you'll share your impressions later!"
Souma felt sick trying to force that smile out of himself. Wow, no better than Hakaze-dono during his 'worse days'! But Adonis knew him well, so naturally he noticed his friend's strange behavior.
"Kanzaki, I thought you wanted to talk about something?" he asked hesitantly. "Well, if you need to gather your thoughts, I won't rush you. It's just... I thought you wanted to discuss it quickly."
"Yes... That's right..."
Souma took another deep breath.
"I think I'm being consumed by a terrible feeling of shame!" he said loudly as he exhaled, his hands clenching even tighter, almost painfully. The skin around his knuckles turned white.
"For what?" Adonis asked, surprised. "You clearly haven't done anything bad to me."
Souma shook his head.
"After you helped me yesterday, I kept feeling strange. So strange that I couldn't return to my studies. I decided it must be shame. And I tried to figure out what I should be ashamed of. I decided it was for not repaying you with the same kindness. But you've often helped me selflessly, and this is the first time I've felt this strange, so... Uuu, what's wrong then?"
Souma, still holding his hands clasped, nervously dug his nails into his skin. Adonis noticed, took Souma's hands in his own, and forcefully pulled them apart. Even at a moment like this, his friend was as kind as ever and didn't want him to hurt himself. He gently ran his fingers over Souma's wrists, as if apologizing for grabbing him like that. His heart began to pound.
"There we go again..." Souma said quietly. "This is definitely shame. You're so kind, and I..."
"Kanzaki, let's take a deep breath and then you'll describe this strange feeling. Maybe it's not shame after all. I'm not a psychologist and I don't understand feelings and emotions very well, but as your friend, I'll try my best to help you."
Souma followed his advice and took several deep breaths. Adonis released his hands, seeing that he calmed down a little and wasn't about to harm himself.
"So, this strange feeling," Souma began to think out loud. "Um, I’m not sure. When you helped me yesterday... When you touched me yesterday... I felt blood rush to my face, as if I was ashamed of something. But on the other hand, I didn’t feel bad. Even when it was painful, I didn’t want it to stop. And when it stopped, I couldn’t stop thinking. Thinking about you. And I couldn’t focus on anything else and... Oh... "
When the realization finally hit, the last thing Souma wanted to know was what he looked like now. But he saw Adonis's face. His face turned red, he pursed his lips and looked away, and his posture became more tense. There was rarely any awkwardness between them. The interactions that many of their acquaintances found strange were often normal for them, as they had always been honest with each other. However, now this honesty led to an awkward silence.
Souma ran a hand through his hair and felt how hot his face was.
"Oh dear, this... This sounds like I'm confessing my love, doesn't it?"
Adonis still didn't look at him. Of course, he thought about it too.
"I... I don't know..." he said. "Do you confess?.."
"...I don't know. Oh, I apologize. I made things so awkward..."
"It's okay, I noticed the idols here often joke about it with each other," Adonis tried to make things better, but quickly shook his head. "Although you're not the type to joke like that."
"I am not," Souma agreed. "I'm not joking. But I'm confused. What if I really love you, Adonisu-dono? What should I do then?"
Adonis looked at his friend again. He fiddled with his fingers uncertainly, carefully trying to find the words in his head.
"...Only you can answer that question. Just as I can answer the question of what I should do if I love you," Adonis paused briefly, then said something that was both unexpected and expected. "Although I know my answer, because for me it's not an 'if' matter."
Can the heart beat any faster?
Did he really just…?
"...And what is it? The answer?" Souma asked.
"Hm... It changed since we started talking. I wouldn't want to do anything that would confuse you even more."
"Well... You've already done something. You confessed to me."
"Oh... Right..." Adonis was embarassed.
"But... it didn't confuse me," Souma reassured him. "On the contrary, it's as if some things have become clearer. Like a puzzle has finally come together. But Adonisu-dono, do you mind if I tell you my answer a little later? When I'm sure of it?"
"Kanzaki, I'm willing to wait as long as it takes, and I'm ready for anything. I'm happy to be your friend. I'd be happy to be your partner, too. I just hope that if you decide to remain friends, my feelings won't change the way you see me."
"Adonisu-dono really loves me, to say something like that..." Souma smiled shyly. "Haha... After that conversation, going back to studies feels so wrong..."
"You shouldn't give up on your goals because of me," Adonis said seriously. "I just hope this revelation won't bother you even more... You came to clear your mind, and I did exactly the opposite."
"Don't blame yourself, please," Souma now took Adonis's hands. "Let's do it this way. I'll continue preparing for the mock exam, and as soon as I pass it, I'll give you my answer. Will that be okay with you?"
"You don't have to set a time limit for yourself," Adonis shook his head. "But if that's what you want, then fine. Just remember, I'm not rushing you and I'm not obligating you in any way."
Souma hesitantly closed the door behind him. He stood there for a few seconds, staring at the doorknob, then turned and walked to the window. Perhaps he should have gone back to his room as soon as possible, but he needed a moment of silence. Just to be alone with these thoughts. It's not every day that such realizations come.
He noticed a subtle movement in the window's reflection and turned around, with his hand on the hilt of his katana. He saw... Makoto and Chiaki, who were hiding rather poorly behind a plant in the hallway... Was it even here before?!
"Morisawa-dono, Yuuki-dono? How long have you been here?"
***
The setting red sun reflected off the surface of the water, making the landscape before Adonis incredibly beautiful, but literally blinding. He shielded himself from the sun with his hand and tried to find his way with one eye. He didn't have to look long. The pier where his friend sat alone, waiting, was just a short distance away. Sinking slightly in the sand, Adonis headed toward him without a second's hesitation.
Coming closer, he saw Souma sitting on the edge of the pier and heard him humming a song. Adonis heard it before. It was Natsudori No Uta -Summer Bird-. AKATSUKI had recently filmed a MV performing this song. Although, perhaps, to say that Adonis had merely heard it was an understatement. He had watched that video countless times; he couldn't take his eyes off his dear Kanzaki and stop admiring his singing. He even somewhat regretted that Souma didn't experiment with his hairstyle more often. After all, he didn't have an older sister to forbid him from doing so. But he had beautiful long hair, which he carefully maintained and considered his pride. He wondered what his sister would say if she saw such gem...
As Adonis stepped onto the wooden planks of the pier, Souma turned and smiled, greeting him. He moved slightly to the side, giving Adonis more room to sit down next to him, which he did. There was silence between them for a while. They gazed at the sunset, the beautifully iridescent sky and the sea reflecting it.
Adonis was the first to break the silence.
"Can't look at this for long," he said, closing his eyes and rubbing them with his fingers. Opening them again, he frowned. "Well, there are spots in my eyes now..."
Souma laughed lightheartedly at this.
"I try not to stare for too long myself. I keep closing my eyes, then opening them. It would be a shame to ruin my eyes and start wearing glasses for real! Although, I imagine Hasumi-dono would be more than happy to help me find a pair," he said, slightly embarrassed, "since those looked so... stupid..."
"I don't think they looked stupid. It's just that no one expected it. Can you imagine me with glasses when nothing was leading up to it?"
"Fufu, I think you'd look wonderful."
"Why do you think that?"
Souma didn't respond, only smiled even wider and looked down, embarrassed. Adonis could only guess what that meant. Actually, no! Souma had always complimented his appearance quite openly! This kind of embarrassment was something new!
Does that mean...?
"Adonisu-dono. I haven't forgotten my promise to you. After all, I already received the results of the mock exam."
"And what are they?"
Souma looked at him, confused, and then laughed again.
"Adonisu-dono, I think that's not what you should be worried about right now. But since you're interested, I got a 'B', which is what I was aiming for."
"That's wonderful! Your efforts have paid off," Adonis said, very proud of Souma. "Good job, Kanzaki."
"I'm grateful, Adonisu-dono."
Souma moved closer to him. Their shoulders were now touching.
"But have you really forgotten what I promised you?"
"...Of course not," Adonis admitted.
He tried to ignore the goosebumps that began after their touch. He tried to ignore his heart, which was ready to jump out. He tried to ignore his nervousness. He told Souma that he was ready for any answer, and that was true, but that didn't make the wait any easier.
"I couldn't stop thinking about it since our conversation. And my roommates, uh... kept reminding me. Even though I explained to them it was a misunderstanding."
Souma laughed again. His laughter was quiet, but so gentle on the ear.
"I apologize for keeping you waiting."
"It's okay, Kanzaki. That wasn't your main concern at the time—"
"So I won't delay my answer any longer."
Oh dear.
"Adonisu-dono," Souma whispered tenderly, "I truly love you."
It felt like his heart had stopped beating.
"And I love you too," Adonis blurted out, even though Souma already knew it. "I love you very much, Kanzaki."
As soon as they said it out loud, it became so... calm. Any anxiety had completely disappeared. What was there to worry about? Souma was next to him. He loved Souma. Souma loved him. They always loved each other, as friends, as partners, as two kindred souls. Adonis hesitantly placed his hand on top of Souma's and awkwardly intertwined their fingers.
"Fufu, I still don't think I know what to do next," Souma smiled, his cheeks flushed. "There was no question on the exam about 'what people usually do after confessing their love'."
"I don't think there's a right answer to this. I think... The fact that we're here together is... It's probably already right," Adonis, also very red, struggled to find the words.
"What if I give you a massage?" Souma suddenly suggested. "It'll be symbolic, don't you think?"
"Kanzaki, that's..." Adonis began, confused.
"I was joking. But if you'd like, I would do it ♪"
"I'll keep that in mind," Adonis reached out with his free hand and gently touched Souma's face. "Then maybe you'll listen to my proposal?"
"Of course."
"We could kiss," Adonis watched the changes on Souma's face closely, and he couldn't help but notice how his friend perked up. "You don't mind?"
"Fufu, well... I'd be only too happy to share this moment with you, Adonisu-dono ♪" Souma tried to sound reserved, but he couldn't hide his joyful anticipation.
Adonis had always loved Souma's smile. Who would have thought he'd love it even more?
Who would have thought how nice it was to feel that smile on his lips?
Who would have thought how nice it was to hear Souma’s laughter right next to his ear when they were tightly hugging each other, sending pleasant goosebumps down his spine?
The sky that's swept clean by the wind
Seems so high and out of reach
But as long as you are with me
We can reach anywhere
Let's sing with the moon, the sun, and the stars