Chapter Text
After one of their performances, Sam felt weird. He went to the bathroom in the green room, the others filing in after him and giving him space.
They had noticed something was off with Sam tonight. Not enough that the fans realized, but enough for them. They had known each other for a long time after all.
Tom, Luke, and AJ shared a look, silently agreeing that AJ would stay here to check on Sam, and the other two would go meet the fans.
Before Luke and Tom file out of the room, AJ whispers to them, “You can tell them I'm not feeling very well, and that Sam is making sure I'm not alone, if anyone asks.”
They nod in unison and continue their path down the hall.
After the door is shut, AJ begins pacing the room, not knowing what could have happened for Sam to feel down.
After a good 15 minutes of Sam not coming out of the bathroom, AJ gently knocks on the door, tone gentle as well, “Hey, Sammy. I know you're feeling down, if there's anything I can do to help, let me know, alright?”
He hears some indistinct mumbling, then steps. The door opens to reveal Sam with tear tracks on his cheeks, his head hung low in a matter not fit for the man.
“Ineedahug.” It's said so quickly and almost silently that if they weren't so close, AJ would have not heard him.
Sam lifts his head enough to look at him from his teary lashes, and AJ finally gets with the program. He crushes their bodies together, wrapping his arms around Sam. The latter hugging his neck and dropping his weight there.
AJ's shirt gets damp in a few seconds, sobs shaking Sam's body, despite him trying to reign them in.
AJ brings a hand to Sam's hair, massaging his scalp, and letting some of the tenseness out of his friend.
He kisses the top of Sam's head and whispers, “Do you want to go sit down, sweetheart?” He lets the pet name slip out, always the one being much more affectionate than usual when one of his friends was not feeling well.
He felt Sam nod against his neck. After a few seconds of them standing there, AJ took the matter in his own hands and picked Sam up effortlessly from his thighs, the latter letting out a hum of appreciation.
AJ walked them to the nearest couch, and sat himself down on it with Sam on his lap.
AJ peppered kisses all over Sam's head, trying to calm him down from his spiral. That seemed to work after a while, Sam calming down enough to lift his head so that they were eye to eye.
He smiled sadly, saying, “Thank you. And sorry about that, I don't want to be a burden.”
AJ caressed his face with his hands, kissing his nose, before saying, “Hey, hey, hey. You're never a burden. You know I love you, we all do, you need to let us help you if there's something wrong. You know that, baby.”
Sam smiled and hid his face in AJ's neck once again, his hands on his friend's firm chest.
AJ's hands slipped from their grasp on Sam's face and migrated to his waist, drawing circles there as if it was second nature.
He felt Sam's smile against him and couldn't help but smile too.
AJ kissed his friend's head, whispering, “Do you want to talk about it?”
Sam sighed against him, his smile leaving his face. He took a deep breath, picked his head up, still not looking AJ in the eyes, and started, “It's just one of those days, y'know? I mean, I know I'm loved, I know rationally you guys love me and I love you back, but it's just-” He took another deep breath, voice wavering as he continued, “I just feel like I'll never be enough. I feel like no one loves me, even though I know, I know, you do. But I can't help but feel like this. And I hate it.”
AJ kissed his forehead, placing a hand on Sam's cheek, caressing his face ever so gently. “Sam. Look at me, please.” He waited for him and, as soon as their eyes met, he said, “I'll tell you how much we love you as much as you need it. Until you feel like we do, because we really, really do. We love you so much, Sam.”
AJ couldn't keep himself from kissing his friend's forehead again. He kissed one cheek, then his nose, his head again. “If there's anything I can do to make you feel like you're loved, because you are, tell me and I'll do it. I'll do anything you ask me to, okay?”
Sam looked at him pleadingly, then moving his gaze away, he whispered, “I don't want you to feel uncomfortable, though. Or take advantage of you.”
AJ furrowed his brow, saying before even thinking how much he was admitting to, “I'd walk through fire if that'll make you feel better, so just tell me, okay?”
Sam gasped, whipping his head around, meeting AJ's gaze once again. “I- Well, I- Could we-” He took a deep breath in, closing his eyes to say the whole thing without getting cold feet and changing his mind about asking. “When we're back to our hotel room, could you stay with me in bed and cuddle?”
AJ left out a laugh of relief. “That's all? Baby, we can cuddle everyday if that'll help. Or if you just want to.”