Chapter Text
Chapter 1
Byleth
TW : Depression, Suicide
The war is over…
It was one battle after another, no time to grieve, no time to mourn, only time to watch the land be stained with blood, only time
…Eventually, after five and a half years that never wanted to end, Fodlan could finally rest and enjoy the peace they had once lost. They were supposed to enjoy it. She should have been happy about this. She’s supposed to be happy. And yet she felt nothing.
Byleth Eisner, once a simple mercenary, now a teacher turned leader turned savior. In her arms she held the lifeless body of the woman she fought for. Lady Rhea, archbishop and leader of the Church of Seiros, the woman who treated her like a daughter. Byleth just sat there, waiting for her to wake up, or for herself to fade away. But instead her hair faded from its divine green back to the blue it once was. Her heart that had never beat had somehow stopped and died before her. The Sword she had used to cut down the woman in her arms, the sword that only she could wield, had grown heavy. Too heavy to carry anymore. The Crest of Flames, the crest that had given her control of time itself, the goddess’ gift to her and the only chance she had to undo any of this had faded away. Rhea was gone…she had failed to save her…just like everyone else. Byleth was the only one left now…She was alone in an empty cathedral, surrounded by the ruins of Garreg Mach. She didn’t dare look around the place she once called home. She could hear the sounds of people working to clean up what was a battlefield a few short moments ago, as if they were trying to undo a terrible memory. Some of them cried, most of them were silent. Nobody was sure how to move forward after this. But they had to…didn’t they…
She half heartedly limped away from the people she had failed, unsure of where exactly she was going. Her body seemed to move on its own, no need for thought, no want for thought, not now. The people tried to smile as she passed them. A chorus of half hearted cheers and hesitant praise filled the air around her. Some of them called her a savior, as if saying it enough would make it true. She couldn’t bring herself to hear any of it. She could hardly stand looking at them. She wanted to pretend none of them were there. They had fought for her, and bled for her, and died for her, but she didn’t know a single soul among them. All her students, the ones she used to love and the ones who trusted her to be their savior, none of them were there. She wished she could undo their fate, over and over she had tried to undo their fates. She had defied time itself in vain attempts to save her students, she thought she could defy fate to save them. She was supposed to save them, she was supposed to protect them, and she didn’t have the strength to do it. All she could do was move forward, she had to move forward.
She kept on moving, still unsure of where she was going. Unsure if she was going anywhere at all. She continued until she could no longer hear that haunting chorus of voices. When she finally found silence, she finally let herself look around. She was at the top of the Goddess Tower. She always came here when she wanted to be alone, away from everything, with her only company being…
She made her way to the balcony and looked up at the purple hued skies of a new Fodlan. The sun rose over a new land, shining on the lavender clouds that seemed to part in a way that opened the door to a new future. It could’ve been beautiful, but she couldn’t see it anymore. She looked down at the world beneath her. At the dormitories that no longer had anyone to occupy them. At the still lake that no longer rippled with activity. At the greenhouse that withered and died from neglect. All she saw were small, faceless souls trying to wipe it all away. Everything was gone. The Empire, the Kingdom, the Alliance, the Church, her students, Rhea, Edelgard, Jeralt…Sothis…She looked around the monastery, she looked inside herself, and she realised there was nothing left for her here. She took one last look at the world below her, there was nothing left below her. She no longer wanted to take that first step towards a new future, and so she took a step forward.
The light had stopped reaching her eyes long ago, but even so she closed them and moved.
The air could hardly reach her lungs, but she took a deep breath and moved.
She no longer had the strength to move, and so she let herself fall.
The war is over…
…She opened her eyes. She was surrounded by endless void and darkness. The only thing visible was a throne in front of her. The same throne that once held Sothis, the one they called The Beginning, the Progenitor God, the Fell Star, and Byleth’s dearest friend. She couldn’t help but laugh at the situation. Here she was, in what was supposed to be the final moments of her life, and she’s still dreaming about her, even when she wasn’t there. She laughed, and she laughed, and she cried, and she laughed, until her voice was too weak to continue. And then she laughed some more, a bitter and hoarse laughter that echoed in the endless void. Silence was the only thing that responded to her. When she was done, she looked to the top of the throne, hoping maybe Sothis would be there to call her a fool again, to lecture her about how stupid she was always being. But of course, it was empty.
“....You had so much faith in me, but in the end…I wasn’t strong enough, not without you…” Despite her words, she couldn’t quite break the silence that engulfed her. She took one last look at the empty throne before turning around towards the empty void behind her. “Thank you for everything, Sothis. Goodbye.” And so she moved forward.
A couple minutes passed, then a couple hours, she began to wonder if a few days passed her by as she wandered the void. Byleth couldn’t tell anymore, she just kept moving. At least she thought she was moving, her legs were moving but she wasn’t sure if she was going anywhere. Days turned to…weeks? Months? Years? She never had to eat, never had to rest, never had to do anything but move as the world laid still around her. It was nice, peaceful. She didn’t have to feel anything, it was just like back when she was a simple mercenary. Never feeling, hardly thinking, just moving. Of course, all good things must come to an end. Eventually, something broke the pattern of endless nothing and snapped the mercenary back into thought. It was the throne, the exact same as when she left it. Had she somehow moved in a big circle? She swore she was only going in one direction. How had she ended up in the exact same place she started? Back to the throne, back to the Goddess who was sleeping upon it…
Sothis! She came back! How was this possible?! She didn’t have time to think about that, she had to see Sothis again. Byleth picked up the pace. Her half hearted limp had become a full tilted sprint. The heart that never beat, the same heart that had stopped and died at the end of the war, was finally beating for the first time. She could hardly hear anything over her newfound heartbeat. The empty world around her no longer existed, all that mattered now was getting to Sothis. She was so fixated on this one singular goal that she had almost missed the second pair of footsteps running towards her…almost.
She felt something try and grab onto her wrist. On instinct, she barely managed to avoid it, an entire lifetime of battle instinct returning before her mind did. They tried again, but Byleth was ready this time. Although she no longer had her sword to rely on, she still had her hand to hand training as well as her magic. She concentrated on her body's heat, the heat of her assailant, the heat in the empty air around them, and focused it all into the tips of her fingers. The air around her grew cold, and with a flick of her wrist and a shockwave of heat, she launched a fire ball point blank into her assailant who, to Byleth’s shock, was able to dodge with ease. It did however cause them to retreat and allowed Byleth to make some distance between the two where she could finally get a good look at them. Looking back at her was the last thing she expected to see.
It was her, a not quite exact but mirrored likeness of Byleth herself, her hair the same green as when she and Sothis were one and a divine yet murderous green aura surrounding her. She was wearing the same armour as Byleth was in her mercenary days. A black chest plate that couldn’t quite protect her chest or stomach, the coat she got from Jeralt worn over her shoulders, the shorts and flowery tights adorning her legs, and even the high heels that Jeralt gifted her on her birthday. And her green hued eyes, they were ancient. It felt like thousands of years of experience were gazing back at her, and they radiated with a fury that she had never seen on her otherwise emotionless face. It was unnatural seeing those kinds of emotions on that face. It may have been her body attacking her, but those weren't her eyes. It had to be an imposter, same as those shapeshifting snakes, Tomas and Monica. What did Hubert call them, Those who Slither in the Dark? She had fought her fair share of shapeshifting snakes during the war, it was the only possibility that made sense.
Her foe opened her mouth, her voice sounding like her own overlapped with another's. One that sounded familiar, but one she couldn’t quite place when hidden inside her own. “How dare you! After everything I’ve done to try and protect you, and still you resist me!”
“Protect me? You just tried to attack me!” Byleth exclaimed, taken aback by her counterpart's words.
“You’re the one who just tried to shoot me! Honestly, you are an even bigger fool here than you were out there!” The imposter huffed, her patience seemingly running thin. “Enough, you are going to explain yourself right now, little one! Even if I have to make you.” Her assailant prepared to run at her again, she had to defend herself from this stranger wearing her face if she wanted to reunite with Sothis. She wasn’t gonna let anything stop her, she was going to take this imposter down!
