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Cold are the sheets, cold as the floor, as the air hitting his skin when he rises. Irritated, still caught up in a dream that at least warmed his heart Josh stares at the clock, sees 4:05, is ripped out of his wondering by another knock on his door. Tapping through the darkness blindly he bethinks to search for a weapon, but leaves it to be then. A criminal wouldn't knock that way.
The light of the hallway hurts his eyes, he squints them together, only recognising the outlines of the person standing in front of him, but he doesn't need to see. Josh can feel him the moment they are in the same room, he could always since the beginning. Eight days and thirteen hours apart of each other it took them to realise how far they've already come, how much they are stuck together.
In a wordless exchange they agree to that, Josh stepping aside, making room for Tyler to enter, and he does, shuffling to the coach, sitting down unasked but not unwelcome. The drummers heart is already beating faster and he wishs so much he could finally pull the younger in without thinking about what he might destroy if he did so. But yet they linger in a state of almost-not-friendship-but-still-not-more and it's frustrating, it starts to wear him down.
"I've missed you." he begins, to set a start, to do anything but sit and stare in those eyes he knows for years now, but recognised their beauty only months ago. Tylers voice is trembling and high pitched, a mirror of the storm in his soul. "I didn't want to miss you any longer." They run out of words, there are none to be said, they both know the truth already.
Josh doesn't want to pretend anymore, that's what he told Tyler when the tour ended, when he flew to LA and left his friend behind. That the singer is here now, without a warning, in the middle of the night, is answer enough. Slowly Josh lets his hand crawl towards Tylers long, cold fingers, and laces his own through it. They sit in the dawn, silent, long minutes, a thumb running up and down sensitiv skin, breath together.
"Where do we go from here?" Tyler stumbles over his tongue, fingers twitching, soothed by the squeeze of a strong hand. "I don't know. I've never been in love with...someone like you." Scooting closer, minimising the distance between them, Josh tries his best to see every aspect of the others features, but there's not enough light, so he relies on feeling. Conflicted, restrained his fingertips start to wander on Tylers face, above his temples, his eyelids, his nose.
He has seen his friend so many times yet this draws a new map of him in the drummers mind and he can't stop himself from exploring, falling into the sensation. Tyler is still, doesn't pull away, but insecurity is radiating off of him, leaving awkwardness where closeness should be. "I don't wanna scare you." Josh gets on, fingers now touching the spot right behind his friends ear, sliding down his neck. A sigh ends the rigidity of Tylers composure, he becomes fluid as he attaches them more, presses his lips to the corner of Joshs before burrying his face in the olders shoulder. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of myself. I'm no good. I struggle too much. You deserve so much better."
They have time, all time in the world for once, not even the day dawning outside is rushing them for now. It's a slow journey Joshs hands begin on the others spine, up and down, and up again, just learning the texture of his skin, the one in the places he has never get to touch. He tries to translate with his actions what he can't seem to give in words, yet he tries. "I have no plan B. I never had. It was always you."
Resting their foreheads together, both memorizing the moment their both worlds will collide in a new angle they both smile into each other as their lips finally meet. Worrys and doubts will have to wait until later. Nothing will be able to bring them apart for now. Not today.