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🌱🏛️
Dear Senior Kaveh
I saw you yesterday at one of the pavilion in the garden. I find you simply beautiful surrounded by colorful padisarahs and struck by the golden rays of the sun as it sets in the distance. You were sketching and I would hate to disturb your peace, however.. I do admire you greatly and hope to invite you out on a date at Puspa Cafe—
“What do you think, Haitham? It’s sweet isn’t it?” Kaveh sighs dreamily, clutching the letter in his hand.
Alhaitham has a different opinion on it. He blinked pointedly. “I think it’s a threat letter, we should report to the matra.”
Kaveh giggles, far too sweet and apparently not taking what he said seriously. Alhaitham was not kidding though, the letter had him guarded and so it deserves to be in the hands of the authorities and not in Kaveh’s.
“Are you considering replying to the letter, senior?”
Kaveh made a humming noise, tapping one of the scattered papers on the table they shared. Alhaitham finds it rather pleasing to have his own thing mixed with Kaveh’s, like a proof of something. Something.
“They did write their name on the back.. Zai, wait, do I know someone by that name? I couldn't recall, they must be in another Darshan or are younger than me..” Kaveh wondered aloud.
Alhaitham felt conflicted whether he wanted or not to have that name ring a bell but it always turns out he doesn’t know any more than he can count in one hand, Kaveh might’ve been the only one he is acquainted with and Alhaitham sees nothing wrong with it. Kaveh has a different opinion to it but Alhaitham couldn't be swayed. What’s wrong with only having one person?
“If they are planning to invite me they should’ve done so personally, how else am I going to recognize them?”
“So you are going,” Alhaitham said, dripping with more disdain than he wanted to. “Aren’t you afraid this could be someone potentially dangerous?”
“I know there are possibilities.. but at the same time what could someone possibly want from me? As far as I’m concerned I don’t have any names in me and just an average student here.” Kaveh shrugged, casually flicking it off. “They’ll just be disappointed if they try to scam me for money, great chance they’ll pay after me.”
“You talk casually about your own safety senior, whereas you often remind me not to talk to strangers. You should walk your talk as well.” Alhaitham crosses his arm, his book forgotten and will be for the remainder that he’s feeling unnerved and somewhat uneasy at the prospect of Kaveh meeting someone they both don’t know.
“It’s because you are younger than me!”
“By only two years, which is not a lot like how you made it to be but you are always fond of pointing it out so I see no reason to refuse the treatment.”
“Haitham, you—” Kaveh stammered, then flushed, his cheeks became pink and he appeared embarrassed. “Ugh, anyway, you’re still my junior so the idea still stands.”
Alhaitham’s lips tugged. “Your junior?”
“You get what I mean! Seriously.. now move, I want to compose a reply at least.”
Alhaitham scowls but scoots over to the side to let Kaveh sit, pressed against his side and their legs touching. “It takes no longer than three seconds to write ‘No’ as a response. No need to make it so fancy.”
“Why am I writing a no?”
“I said so.”
“And I should listen to you because?”
Petulant, Alhaitham refuses to yield. “Because I care about you and despite being my senior, I often take the most reliable role between the two of us. Have I ever let you down, senior?”
“... you did when you ate the last cookie earlier.”
“You said I was growing.”
The argument, at best, is nothing but a petty squabble. Meaningless? Perhaps, but Alhaitham derives joy from it and genuinely enjoys the banter, not to mention Kaveh has always been the most expressive person. Alhaitham finds it impressive how someone's face contorts into many different emotions, ranging from amused to conflicted ones. Alhaitham can’t imagine himself doing anything more than his default stare and occasionally his cute face as Kaveh likes to put it. Alhaitham was certain he had never attempted pouting in his life though Kaveh begged to differ.
Alhaitham was aware of his ever growing fondness for Kaveh, not only as his senior and friend, but also as someone with a high chance Alhaitham would allow himself to be romantically involved with. Crush is putting it lightly and it was rather childish, what Alhaitham felt is something stronger, intense at any moment when something challenges his feelings and chance at acting those feelings out. Alhaitham once read about it, infatuation and attraction are similar but different, a contradicting statement. Perhaps, he was once infatuated with Kaveh’s intelligence.
“Here, Haitham, as a Haravatat student, give it a read and tell me honestly,” Kaveh shoved a piece of paper to him, folded on the edges.
Alhaitham forces himself to read.
Hello, Zai, is that your name? I am very flattered you found me admirable and beautiful, if you see me just come over and say hi—
The frown was immediate, “I read 26 full words and none of them was no, technically asking his name as an opening seems a bit foolish when he purposely wrote it at the back but you shouldn’t address him so casually.” Alhaitham had stopped reading. “You seem to be struggling to compose a reply, senior. I don’t mind lending a hand, I happen to be good at words today and could write for you in a second.”
“Don’t be ridiculous!” Kaveh rolled his eyes and made a grab for his letter, Alhaitham jerked his hand away, out of Kaveh's reach. “Haitham—give it to me! Why are you being annoying today?”
“Because you are being too nice,”
“And it’s a bad thing?”
“Apparently.”
At one point one of Kaveh’s hands lay rested on Alhaitham’s chest as an anchor before lifting himself higher to reach. Alhaitham’s heart hammered quite embarrassingly quickly that he faltered upon contact and chances that Kaveh could feel it under his palm. In turn, Kaveh took advantage and his fingers brushed lightly on Alhaitham’s wrist—Alhaitham could feel his own breath hitch quietly, for a brief moment he was surrounded by Kaveh’s firm presence and scent.
Kaveh made a triumphant cheer snatching the now crumpled paper though he appeared to care less for its condition and made a happy scribble, all while being oblivious to Alhaitham’s drifting mind.
Kaveh put down his pen and Alhaitham reached for the letter all too protectively. Kaveh himself paused and chuckled. “You know what, do you know this Zai and you were acting strange? Haitham, could it be you have a crush on this guy?”
Alhaitham felt it was more offensive than getting accused of cheating. He refused to grant an answer in favor of judging Kaveh’s newly constructed letter and decided it was abominable.
“Must I do everything for you, senior?” Alhaitham reaches for a pen with a sigh.
Dear Zai, —Not a chance Alhaitham will let the word past, it’s simply suggestive. Instead he wrote: ‘No, I don’t want to.’ with a firm dot in the end as if to make his point direct.
“Haitham,” Kaveh said when he saw the paper again, now filled with various scribbles and poor attempts at proper response. “This is too rude!”
“It’s five words, more than he deserves. You shouldn’t have bothered yourself replying back lest he get his hopes up, I’m just being reasonable here. Clearly.” Alhaitham nods after doing a magical deed and saving his friend from potential danger. His eyes snap open. “If you are still planning to meet him, I’ll simply go with you. Nothing in his invitation implies that you can’t bring a company.”
“.. it’s crystal clear he wanted it to be just the two of us when he said date—”
“He’s still someone we don’t mutually know.”
“You don’t know many people and it’s rude to assume the worst of one person!” Kaveh argued.
“Maybe it’s a good thing and it’s called being careful, senior, something you need heavy practice with.” Alhaitham finished drafting with a sigh, producing a clean paper while conversing and presenting it to Kaveh with a tap of his finger. “Sign here and I’ll gladly deliver this letter to its promising recipient.”
“You’re ridiculous,”
“I’ve been told.”
“If I don’t sign?”
Alhaitham’s lips quirked, “I’ll sign it myself, I’ve seen your signature enough.”
“That’s forgery!”
“Is it?”
Alhaitham watches with a reserved grin. Kaveh seemed to have a thing for pointing out his seniority over him, not in a way that flexed his power nor superiority, but Kaveh liked to grab any chance to offer his help to him whether it was something inane or mundane. Alhaitham doesn’t hate it, it’s a welcome disturbance only if it’s Kaveh.
Kaveh let out a defeated groan. “Fine! I’m not that interested anyway.. just curious. What do you think he likes about me?”
Alhaitham pauses from where he’s tucking the paper in his pocket with a cheerful gleam. He ponders an answer, Kaveh is many things and lovely is just one of them, alluring as well as a natural head turner. “Who knows, senior, maybe he had a bad eye sight.”
“Haitham!”
“Aren’t we here so we could work on our homeworks together? I’ve read the materials I borrowed from the library and have a few points to write so I can start drafting how my essay will flow later.” Alhaitham pointedly looked at the unfinished sketch lying on the table, it’s already impressive to someone like him who knows little about arts but the messy linings tells Alhaitham that Kaveh is far from done. “Will you be able to finish today?”
The answer is palpable.
Alhaitham is not foreign to the concept of sacrificing your sleep in exchange of desperately having something done, it was a fixable habit but proven to be a lot harder to discard once done. Kaveh believes in the notion that if he tries harder enough (more often than not he tries more than he’s capable of) anything he strives for will be achieved, while his firm belief alone is admirable, it exhausts him too greatly in the end. Whereas Alhaitham sees it not worthy enough, Kaveh sees the opposite, always the bigger picture.
“You can come in my dorm later, it’s quieter and spacious.” Alhaitham offers.
“What?”
“Exactly what I said.” Alhaitham insisted. “You have a habit and bad track record of overworking yourself. If you work in my room I can watch over you and let you take frequent naps in between so you won’t end up too drained the following day.” Alhaitham nodded, it’s a great offer.
“Haitham, you hate when your private space is invaded.”
“You’re not invading when I just invited you,” he reasoned.
“Still, I don't know how you would benefit from helping me. Haitham.. have you done something behind my back?”
Alhaitham failed to control his eyes, already rolling without heat. “You always get cranky and listless when tired, it makes dealing with you hard so I’m just saving my future self a headache and a handful of.. problematic senior in hand.”
“Haitham!”
“It’s alright, I’m already used to it.”
“That doesn’t make me feel better!”
An empty cup of coffee rests near Kaveh’s elbow where he’s supporting his head while sleeping. Alhaitham carefully sets it aside, quickly rinsing it for more usage later once Kaveh wakes up. It is not healthy and the amount of rest and coffee are tipping off in the wrong direction but Alhaitham knows coaxing Kaveh to postpone his work is futile. All that is left is for him to stay at Kaveh’s side while trying his best to be a sort of.. moral support.
Some sleepless nights are worth it, Alhaitham decided, watching the silver rays cast a glimmering shadow onto Kaveh’s slump figure and painting him like a mirage that is too compelling to understand.
Alhaitham indulges until the twenty minute mark is up and he’s dealing with a barely lucid Kaveh, utterly unaware of his effects when he clings. “Haitham, five more.. minutes..”
Amidst the fluttering of papers and stubborn pencils that kept rolling off, Kaveh tucked himself small and blissful on Alhaitham’s side. Alhaitham feels his heart beginning to speed up again along with the feverish heat that warms up his cheeks. Kaveh’s presence is firm at his side, solid and comforting and within his grasp. Kaveh is real and he’s here.
Alhaitham doesn’t consider himself brave at most, honesty and blunt forwardness does it. Yet, nothing could’ve prepared him for the thoughts that Kaveh would soon plant in his mind. Alhaitham had taken grueling and rigorous exams since the beginning of Akademiya, soul-draining homeworks and dream-crasher exams—but he finds himself to be nervous, his hands trembling at the prospect of holding Kaveh’s hand, as if they have not done that a lot.
This time was different, Alhaitham argues, because he was reaching out of feelings and greed more than curiosity, something his scholarly mind failed to put words to.
Kaveh stirs, burrowing deeper into his warmth but he does not wake up. Alhaitham tightened his grips, watching his own fingers intertwined with Kaveh’s and admired how they were perfectly fitted together. Kaveh’s hand is freezing and Alhaitham curls his finger, content at providing warmth and acting as a safe pillar, even if it meant shielding his very sleepy senior and lending his shoulder for endless duration. The clock continues to burn still and the papers will not draw themselves to finish and Kaveh needs to wake up at some point. Alhaitham will wait.
“Five minutes, senior.”
_______
Extra:
The book How the Wildlife Wonder argued how crystalflies are the best animals (accordingly) to have in the house as decorations or for ambience while putting the rishboland tiger at the sunken bottom of the tier list as the worst pet to have. The descriptions vary from pleasant basic introduction of the said animal to completely biased opinions such as: ‘Cats from Inazuma are better companions for a reason that they don’t hiss nor run away at the immediate sight of someone.’ and ‘Pigeons and other birds in Mondstadt sang comparably better than..’ —It was without a doubt not a proper book to be called an encyclopedia about animals.
Alhaitham is entertained nonetheless, or he would be if he was sitting in one of the pavilions in Razan Garden, specifically Kaveh’s favorite spot. Puspa cafe barely holds a candle to the fresh padisarahs and easy breeze up the Divine Tree.
Zai, unfortunately happened to be an upperclassman, the same age as Kaveh albeit he was in another Darshan. Alhaitham didn’t bother. Three minutes into the most miserable conversation, it became quite obvious that he knew nothing else but to run his mouth with flowery words with how much Zai kept praising Kaveh’s appearance—and nothing else. Which is a high insult for Kaveh’s brilliance and equally other bright things about him. Anyone with an eye can see Kaveh’s beauty naturally but not everyone can comprehend his scholarly mind, and it’s the most attractive. Alhaitham couldn’t blame them however, it takes a lot for a shallow mind to appreciate something as unique.
Fifteen minutes into the ‘date’ and Kaveh decided things wouldn't work out, he grabbed Alhaitham’s hand and dragged themselves away. Alhaitham doesn’t mind being dragged while he throws a triumphant look behind, just to be equally petty.
“Aren’t you glad we dodged a disaster, senior?”