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Published:
2026-07-11
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2026-07-12
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3/?
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Butcher, Butcher, tell me your sins, do you still taste the blood?

Summary:

Armando wiggled at him.

"No."

Armando wiggled again, more fervently this time.

Ryland turned and took another glance at the submarine. It had gently floated its way to the shore, staining his beach in shades of dark red.

Well now he didn't have an excuse. It was sitting right there, on the beach.

Ryland groaned.

-

Or: Simon the convict arrives on Erid with some... biological abnormalities. Dr Grace puts his microbiology doctorate to good use trying to figure him out.

 

| I expressly forbid my work from being fed to any large language models. |

Notes:

Hello friends. Tumblr user Wraithillustrates did some WONDERFUL WONDERFUL WONDERFUL vampire simon art and i wanted to write it. eat up vampire kissers and markiplier fans.

Vampire art bit 1

Vampire art bit 2

Praying my html worked i followed a guide i am so bad at html .

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Chapter 1: Blood on the Sand

Chapter Text

It wasn't possible. It shouldn't be possible.

Ryland stared out through the window, squinting at the mass of crimson in his sea. Floating on the surface, bobbing up and down with the artificial waves, there was… something.

A metal hull, drenched in what Ryland really hoped wasn't what he thought it was.

"No. Mm-m." He turned around and tried to pretend it wasn't there. It couldn't be there. It just wasn't possible for a torn-up submarine leaking blood to be in the sea. In the biodome. On Erid.

Maybe he could have excused it if the submarine had been floating in orbit, and he'd found it while on his way to Erid. But he was standing on Erid, right now. He had been for a year now. And now there was a mangled metal hull sitting in his ocean.

Adrian was gonna be so upset.

Ryland pinched the bridge of his nose, inhaling deeply. He could leave the mysterious submarine for the Eridian scientists to find. They'd probably deal with it better than he would. Plus, he really did not want to get wet at 9am in the morning. He exhaled. He really wanted to know what was going on. He wanted to know where it came from. Who built it? And most importantly, how did it end up on Erid, in a sealed biodome?

Armando wiggled at him.

"No."

Armando wiggled again, more fervently this time.

Ryland turned and took another glance at the submarine. It had gently floated its way to the shore, staining his beach in shades of dark red.

Well now he didn't have an excuse. It was sitting right there, on the beach.

Ryland groaned.

Ryland pulled on shoes. He wasn't sure which one of his crew members had decided that they would need giant rain-proof boots in space. It really didn't make sense. He found a coat and wore that over his sweater. He stood at the door, tapping his foot.

Did he forget anything? Would he need something to poke the submarine with? He slapped his pockets, making sure he needed absolutely nothing extra.

When he turned around to double-extra-triple-check, Armando wiggled at him. Again.

"Ugh, fine," he said and opened the door.

The cold air hit him like a truck, biting his nose and whipping against his cheeks. He was glad he had pulled on an extra layer. The rocks crunched under his feet as he made his way down, taking time to admire the fog.

The waves crashed against the sand, a comforting rhythm Ryland had grown fond of. With each surge, the water pushed forward more of the thick red liquid.

Ryland really didn't want it to be what it looked and smelled like. He wanted to take a sample, figure out what it really was. There were lots of substances that were that colour, consistency and smelled just as horrible, right?

The structure was of thick metal, and appeared to have had many layers welded over the top. It was also completely torn open, pulled apart as if something was trying to get in. Something very large with horrifying teeth.

The waves pushed the hull around, letting Ryland see inside.

"Oh," he yelped, jumping back in horror. There were two things that made Ryland think he must've been dreaming.

The first, was what appeared to be the left arm of a human, rooted to the pipes, apparently having been ripped clean from the socket via brute force. Ryland could see the bones sticking out, as it appeared the humerus had been dislocated from the socket in the process of being removed.

The second was even more impossible than the last. Curled in the back of the hull, was a shape Ryland had given up all hope on ever seeing again.

It was a person. A human being.

He appeared to be the owner of the arm that had been forcibly removed from the body, as there was a gaping wound just after the left shoulder. He was apparently unconscious, breathing ragged and slow, and every inch of him was absolutely soaked in blood.

Ryland grimaced. That had to be so unhygienic. He blinked. Right. A human being. On Erid. In the biodome. Right now. In front of him. Alive(barely).

"What?" he whispered, unsure of what to do. He could barely believe that any of it was happening.

"Grace making mess," hummed Rocky, sidling up beside Ryland, chittering away. "This new project, question?"

Ryland trembled a shake of his head.

Rocky's chitters halted and he fell still beside Ryland. "Grace."

Ryland did not reply, still trying to figure out what he was seeing before him.

"Grace, is that another human, question?"

"It's not possible."

"Is possible. Happening. Grace, other human is dying."

Ryland blinked. "Dying?"

"Yes. Heartbeat fast and irregular. Missing parts." Rocky stepped closer. "Leaking. More than Grace did ever."

"Oh."

"Grace being stupid. Grace get other human out of ship. Rocky go get help because Grace too slow."

Ryland blinked again, and something spurred him into action. He climbed into the hull, grimacing at the smell. His boots slipped against the floor, but he held steady as he made his way to the human in the back of the ship.

Now that he was closer, he realised that the new human was bigger than he'd anticipated. But, Ryland was sure he could drag him at least half the way to Armando. He carefully reached out, stumbling as the waves rocked the ship. He stepped closer again, tentatively putting an arm around the man's body, ready to hoist him out of the ship.

He froze when a hand shot out and grabbed his wrist. Strong fingers curled around his arm, and Ryland could tell that it was only half the force it was used to.

"Don't fucking touch me," came a haggard voice. Ryland looked up and met eyes with the stranger. He was breathing heavily, blood dripping from his mouth. His dark hair stuck to his scalp and face, wet with more of that thick crimson.

Ryland did not move. "I'm not going to hurt you," he tried, wanting to move backwards.

"Bullshit." The man shifted, hiding a wince.

"Listen, you're really hurt, and I can bring you to help," Ryland protested, wondering just how this man could even be conscious enough to speak, let alone hold Ryland away. "Let me help you."

The man glared at him. "Why would I trust you?! You sent me down, again. I took your fucking pictures, I rammed the fucking monster—"

"Woah, hey," Ryland interrupted, furrowing his brows. "I don't know what you're talking about. Please, let me get you out of here. You really need help. I have the best robot-medic team this side of Tau Ceti, let me take you to them and get you better."

At Ryland's request, Eridian engineers had copied Armando's design and, with his guidance, had pioneered an entirely new form of medical robots, equipped with all of humanity's knowledge of the human body. Ryland trusted them, and while the medical bay hadn't needed to be used for such extensive injuries before, he was sure it would be effective.

The man stared, processing. Ryland could practically hear the cogs turning in his brain. He slowly loosened his grip on Ryland's arm. "Whatever. I'm already dead from the radiation."

Ryland nodded and decided to not ask about the radiation. Delirium caused by blood loss could wreak havoc on the human mind. He reached forward and lifted this man into his arms, propping him up with his own weight. Ryland pulled the man's remaining arm over his shoulder, holding him against his own body. He hobbled out of the ship, splashing down into the waves.

A small army of Eridians were approaching rapidly, and Ryland began hobbling towards his little house off the shore. The stranger's body was shaking and cold, blood soaking into Ryland's coat. He had lost consciousness again, and Ryland was struggling to to hold him up.

"Saviour Grace slow, Eridians take other human," sang one, reaching out and supporting the man's weight a little.

Ryland nodded. "Careful," he warned, as the Eridians conglomerated around the stranger, forming a makeshift chair for him, and then speeding up the hill. Ryland followed at a jog, wanting to do everything he could.

When Ryland and Rocky arrived on Erid, with Ryland starving and running low on even Taumeoba slurry, Rocky had made sure that there was a functional medical bay installed in the biodome, which had a chamber that Eridian scientists could watch a human patient from. Since then, human biology had become a subject of great intrigue to many Eridians, and a small team had assembled to put together a comprehensive document that held all the human biology it could.

Ryland's house was not connected to the medical building, but it was not more than a minute walk from it, and he headed that way to see if he could help.

Before he got very far, a claw landed on Ryland's leg. He turned, surprised. The teal-green shape of Adrian behind a Xenonite suit faced him.

"Grace stay behind."

Ryland opened his mouth to speak.

"Eridian human specialists say that humans become upset when other humans injured," Adrian said, and Ryland regretted giving the human specialist team(They refused to be called anthropologists) a laptop with all human knowledge on it. Because they were right. Adrian was right, the extensive injuries had made him feel nauseous.

"But—" he protested, wanting to help. "What if they need me?"

Adrian made the Eridian equivalent of a sigh, air puffing out of its vents. "Eridian Human Specialists have all human biology. Will not need Grace."

Ryland pouted.

"Grace know Adrian correct."

"I do know, you're ever-observant, Adrian," Ryland replied, and slowly averted his course to his house. Adrian followed, their large form making indents in the gravel.


A knock came on the door, and Ryland looked up from his pacing. Adrian was still in the house, and had tried to get Ryland to sleep, stating that 'Grace sleep cycle not substantial enough'. Ryland had not slept, and had instead turned to the biggest whiteboard he owned. He had written everything down, with far too many question marks.

Ryland rushed to the door, flinging it open and glancing around wildly for the messenger.

Rocky stood there, and raised a claw to greet Ryland. "Human specialist team want to tell Grace other human is stable."

Relief washed over Ryland. He was so, so worried that the only human he even had the possibility of talking to would be gone before Ryland even knew him. He loved Rocky and Adrian dearly, and they were enough for him, but the touch of a human was something he had to admit he missed. The ache in his chest never really went away, even when Rocky sat on it(though that did help substantially).

"Great!" Ryland exclaimed, and then halted. "I mean, that's good."

"Human Specialist team say robots work well. Other human no longer leaking, but has not woken yet," Rocky explained, barging past Ryland to nudge up against Adrian, who had planted themselves in the middle of the living room.

"That's good to hear," Ryland replied, closing the door and following Rocky into the living room. He was too anxious to sit, so he fiddled with the edge of his sweater—different to the one that was now covered in blood(which was now sitting in a bucket of cold water).

"Human Specialist team want Grace to know something else," Rocky chirped, bumping into Adrian's carapace repeatedly.

"Oh?" Ryland asked. A knot of worry curled in his stomach again, and his mind raced through all the horrible possibilities.

Rocky bobbed up and down as an affirmation, something he'd picked up in his time with Ryland on the way to Erid from Tau Ceti. "Yes. Grace go to medical building now. Rocky will stay here with Adrian."

Grace fiddled with the edge of his sweater again, but didn't hesitate to pull on some shoes and get out of the house. As he walked, that knot of worry balled up into an absolute mess of an overthink. What if Ryland had made a mistake by stopping to gawk at the submarine instead of immediately going to help? What if he had held him wrong when getting him out of the hull? What if—

"Saviour Grace!" called an Eridian, jumping up and down outside the medical building.

The building was situated on the edge of the biodome, halfway between the wall, so that it could be accessed from either side. That had been instrumental during Ryland's recovery from starvation, allowing Rocky and Adrian to check on him without needing to suit up every time they wanted to see him.

The Eridian held two arms above its body, waving frantically. It was a deep green in colour, with bands of yellow around its legs and carapace. Ryland had named it Olive. Olive was a highly enthusiastic Eridian who was deeply interested in Human biology and send Ryland lots of letters asking questions about the topic.

"Hey, Olive," Ryland replied, waving at it. "Rocky said you wanted to see me?"

"Yes, yes, yes," Olive replied, tapping their claws on the ground repeatedly as they waited for Ryland to draw closer. "Other human is strange. Is not normal according to portable earth thinking machine."

Ryland followed Olive into the medical building, the doors sliding silently—Eridian engineering at its finest. Inside, there was the Armando copy, lovingly named 'Armando junior', which looked very similar to Armando, but made mostly of Xenonite. He also had much less of a personality than the original Armando, as Eridians preferred their life-saving technology to be entirely functional.

Below the ceiling-mounted robot, there was a bed, which Ryland remembered all too well from his days wasting away before the Eridian Scientists could synthesise an intravenous fluid for him. That same compound was being pumped into the stranger gently, who was asleep under the blanket. He had been cleaned, and was no longer absolutely drenched in blood, yet it was still very visible on the parts of him that were sticking out of the blanket.

Between Ryland and the stranger, there was a transparent xenonite barrier. Ryland pressed a hand against it and frowned at Olive. "A wall?"

Olive chittered to itself, and then, "Eridian Human Specialist Team think other human might be dangerous to Saviour Grace."

Ryland tilted his head. "Dangerous?"

"When comparing other human biology to biology in portable earth thinking machine, Eridian Human Specialist Team found differences not documented previously," Olive explained, walking over to the laptop and translation device.

Ryland followed closely. "I think he mentioned something about radiation earlier? Could it be that?"

Olive paused, thinking. "Other human has signs of sickness consistent with radiation, but will be okay. This is the problem," it explained, sitting, curling its legs underneath itself like a cat. "Other human experienced high dose of radiation but is not suffering. Cell decay is at minimum."

Ryland frowned again. "How high?"

"More than lethal dose for humans," Olive replied, pushing air out of their vents, concerned. "Other human also has differences in biology not in portable earth thinking machine."

"Like what?" Ryland asked, sitting on the floor across from Olive, pressing his fingers together and to his face.

"Other human digestive system appears to divert from standard, and has high amounts of human blood inside it," Olive went on. "Also appears to have specialised organ for drinking blood."

Ryland looked up at Olive. "What?"

"What Saviour Grace not understand, question?"

Ryland swallowed. "He has blood in his digestive system? Human blood?"

Olive chirped affirmatively. "Correct," it said. "Aside from biological differences, other human injury plural easy fix."

"Other injuries?" Ryland asked, still reeling.

"Other human sustained blunt force trauma, resulting in several broken bones. Other human is also missing left arm," Olive added. "Human body weak but medical robots good at job. Will be okay."

Ryland sighed, rubbing his temples beneath his glasses. This didn't make sense. First, appearing in his ocean, then being conscious despite having a gaping hole where his left arm should be, and now apparently he was a regular drinker of human blood? Ryland really hoped all the blood in the submarine was not also human.

Ryland exhaled, leaning against the xenonite barrier. If he frowned any more, he was convinced his eyebrows would fuse together. "Hmm."

"Saviour Grace have answer, question?" Olive asked excitedly.

Ryland shook his head. "Um, no," he replied. "I need… I think I need to stay here and think for a while. Thank you, Olive. You and your team are really a wonder."

Olive chirped happily and did a little circle on the floor. "Saviour Grace watch other human sleep, question?"

Ryland laughed. "I think I will. Go home, Olive." 

Olive nodded and skittered off, leaving Ryland in the cold medical room, staring at the only other human within 16.3 light years.