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"Tam. Tam, wake up."
Tamara grumbled in her sleep as she felt someone poking her cheek and rolled over onto her side.
"Tam-Tam. Tammy." The poking became more intense, moving to her shoulder instead. "I know you're listening."
She muttered something along the lines of "fuck off" under her breath and buried her head in her pillow to block out the noise, hoping the other person would give up and go away.
"Taaaaam. Don't ignore me." The poking turned into jostling as hands gripped her shoulder and started shaking her awake.
Tamara groaned, lifting her head wearily and cracking one eye open to glance over at the alarm clock on her bedside table. The red numbers on the screen read three twenty-two.
She squinted at it in disbelief for a moment while her shoulder was still receiving a very violent massage, before whipping her head around to be met with her girlfriend's face just inches away from hers.
Moonlight streamed in through the curtains and illuminated the other girl's features as she sat cross-legged on Tamara's bed, her eyes gleaming with that odd intensity she got whenever she was fixated on something. "Hey sleepyhead."
"Tori." Tamara said through gritted teeth, "It's three in the fucking morning."
Tori blinked, as if that seemed like a perfectly reasonable time to be awake, and tilted her head down at her. "Would you still love me if I took over the world?"
They stared at each other for a few seconds before Tamara rolled back over on her side and pulled the duvet over her head. "I'm going back to sleep."
"Tamara!" Tori tugged on her shoulder in protest as she hid herself away in a blanket cocoon, her voice scaling up to what was coming very close to being a whine. "This is important! Come on, please?"
She held onto the duvet tighter as the other girl tried to yank it back, letting out a few snores for good measure. "I can't hear you, I'm fast asleep. Honk shooo. Honk shoooo."
"You're leaving me no choice here, Tam." Hands clamped around her sides and Tamara yelped as she was abruptly lifted up from the bed and hauled into her girlfriend's lap, duvet and all.
Tori wrapped her arms around her waist and held onto her firmly while she thrashed around, although she let out a grunt when she jabbed her elbow against her ribs. "Tori, knock it off! If I say yes, will you let me go back to sleep?"
Her grip only tightened even further. "No, I want you to at least think about it first. I'm being serious right now."
She sighed softly, letting herself go limp and leaning back against the other girl's chest. "Okay. Can I still be Tamara?"
Tori instantly moved her arms up to put her in a sleeper hold before she even had time to laugh at her own joke, her bicep pressing against the grin on Tamara's face while a choked giggle escaped her lips. "Y'know, I can't give you an answer if—hnngh—if I can't breathe—
Tamara turned to the side as she was begrudgingly released and snorted with laughter at the offended glare Tori was giving her. She yanked her duvet up and flopped backwards onto her side of the bed, grabbing her pillow to defend herself just in case. "Don't look at me like that. C'mon, it was kinda funny."
Her girlfriend huffed petutantly. "Ja, very funny. Hahahaha. I'm trying to talk about a possible future that might affect our relationship and you're treating it like a joke."
She raised her eyebrows and jerked her head pointedly towards the alarm clock. "That's your own fault for asking me such a stupid question when it's this time at night."
Tori folded her arms across her chest, although she had the decency to look somewhat sheepish over interrupting her beauty sleep. "It's not stupid. I've just been thinking a lot about possible, but for now hypothetical, outcomes for the future, along with considering some alternative...options, and I wanted your input."
She hesitated briefly before adding, "I also wanted you to be somewhat sober while giving it, which can be a bit hard to predict."
That got her attention and Tamara moved to sit upright, resting her chin on the pillow she was holding while she watched Tori with a mixture of curiosity and concern. "I guess I can't really argue with that. Alright fine, I'll think about it before I answer."
Silence fell between them for a moment as she tilted her head and gave the question some more thought, even if the idea of her girlfriend taking over the world like a stereotypical supervillian seemed like something straight out of Ell's wacky comics.
Tamara glanced over at the other girl in question only to find Tori staring back at her while she waited for an answer. Without moving. Or blinking. She wasn't entirely sure that she was breathing either. "Tori, you're starting to freak me out a little here."
Her gaze only intensified. "That's not an answer."
She pressed her cheek into the pillow, resisting the temptation to throw it straight at the other girl's head. "How the hell am I supposed to answer something like that? I guess? Most likely? I would say it depends."
Tori's eye twitched, but it was more out of intrigue than irritation as she leaned forward eagerly. "Depends on what?"
"Well first of all, why are you taking over the world and second of all, how are you going to take over the world and third of all, if you take over the world then you're going to be really busy, so when will you have time to go see Return of the Insane Zombie Pirates from Hell 5 with all of us when it comes out next month?"
Tori listened intently while she ticked each question off her fingers, her expression turning more contemplative. "That's a fair point. I guess I'll have to push my world conquering plans aside until after it releases."
Tamara gave her a skeptical look. "I thought you said you were being serious."
She threw her hands up in the air and rolled her eyes, her tone growing more frustrated. "I'm being serious about considering the possibilites of this hypothetical situation, yes. I'm wouldn't take over the world for shits and giggles Tam, just look at the state it's in right now. Someone has to do something."
"Not at three in the fucking morning they don't!"
Tori's hands moved to comb through her hair and tug at it agitatedly, her eyes scanning the other girl's face as if she were attempting to glean an answer from her reactions instead. "But if I were to take matters into my own hands and do something, then that wouldn't change anything between us, would it?"
Tamara tilted her head, wondering briefly how to answer her question in a way that was both honest and reassuring. "See, when you say taking over the world, it kind of implies that you'd be forcing the world to bend to your will."
Tori scrunched up her face in concentration as she searched for a word that didn't sound quite as nefarious. "Okay, so not taking over the world, but fixing it? Making it better?"
"And you're the sole person who's responsible for fixing everything wrong with the world?"
She nodded earnestly. "Ja."
Tamara raised one eyebrow. "Tori, this is beginning to sound an awful lot like a dictatorship."
"But with me in charge things would be different. Hypothetically speaking, I mean."
She barely managed to stop herself from laughing as her girlfriend said that with a completely straight face. "I'm not too sure about that. You'd make a terrible dictator, because you'd be way too good at it."
Tori narrowed her eyes, her brow furrowing in confusion. "That doesn't make any sense."
Tamara shook her head and bumped her leg lightly against the other girl's thigh, the corners of her mouth twitching upwards. "You still haven't explained how you're going to take over the world though. Please don't tell me you're going to run in an election."
"What? Don't be silly." Tori scoffed at the mere thought of it. "No no no, the very system itself is flawed. Most governments are both incompetent and corrupt, they have to be dismantled completely and then rebuilt, or at the very least reformed."
Tamara eyed her with a slight hint of suspicion as memories of her previous trigger-happy escapades came to mind. "Right. And you'll dismantle them by doing what, exactly?"
Tori leaned in closer, slinging one arm around her shoulders and gesturing widely with the other to emphasise her grand scheme. "Oh that part is simple. A military organisation here, a giant robot there, maybe some enemy infiltration along the way, it wouldn't take more than a year."
She blinked. "Did you just say a giant robot?"
A wicked grin spread across her girlfriend's face. "Wouldn't that be cool?"
Tamara stared at her with an incredulous expression. "Where the hell are you going to get a giant robot from?"
"I'll build it myself. Obviously."
"A giant robot that you built yourself will dismantle governments across the world."
"It'll be equipped with rocket launchers."
Tamara pinched the bridge of her nose and resisted the urge to roll her eyes. "Are we still being serious right now?"
"Mostly. But it's not the process that's important Tam-Tam, it's the aftermath. The reaction to the action." Tori's smile faded a little as a slight edge crept into her voice. "People don't always like change, even if it's for the better. They can't understand the bigger picture because they're too busy being fixated on the little things."
She lowered her head, but kept her eyes fixed on the other girl's face. "There would be a lot of resistance at first. Rebellions. Rioting. And in doing so, people might get hurt."
Tamara paused for a moment, meeting her gaze evenly. "What exactly are you trying to say here, Tori?"
The hand that was resting on her shoulder tightened. "I'm saying that sometimes change has to be implemented rather forcefully in order for it to last. A peaceful transition would be ideal, but the chances of that happening are lower than Matilda ever throwing away anything from that museum of hers she calls a room. It's just not how the world works."
Tamara pressed her lips together in a slight frown. "I know that. But nothing's ever going to be that simple, you can't just tell people that you have some grand plan for the future and then expect them to fall in line."
A shadow fell over Tori's face as she leaned back, lifting her hand from her shoulder and raising both of them defensively. "That's not what I'm—I wouldn't expect approval or even support, there's bound to be different squabbles between different groups about different things. Even infighting within my own circles is unfortunately inevitable. What I'm trying to say is that I'd have to be firm. Stubborn. Persistent."
She let out a small huff. "Like you aren't already."
Her gaze softened a little at the exasperated fondness in her voice and she tilted her head. "Then you'd be able to deal with me just fine, wouldn't you? If I, hypothetically speaking of course, took over the world and had to use maybe just a teeny, tiny bit of force for intimidation tactics?"
Tamara nudged her with her leg again, setting the pillow in her lap aside and scooting closer. "Of course I would. But I think I'd have to fully understand what you were fighting for first."
Her girlfriend bit her lip and glanced away, swallowing slowly. "Ja, okay, that makes sense. Good to know."
An awkward silence fell between them for a few seconds as Tori shifted around on the bed, before she suddenly blurted out a stream of words. "But what if you didn't understand? Even when I tried to explain it? What if I wanted you to understand so badly that I'd try to make you understand and then I'd end up hurting you instead?"
She waved her hands in erratic gestures as she rambled on, her speech getting faster and faster until Tamara could barely tell what she was saying. "What if I mess things up between us and then we aren't friends anymore but you get cancer and you start to go blind and I can't be there to help you or Ell or Matilda because I'm too busy running the army that you're also fighting against and then we meet on the battlefield and I accidentally shoot you thinking you're an enemy soldier which I mean technically you would be but I could never see you as my enemy even if—"
"Woah, hey." Tamara grabbed her hands, gently guiding them back down to her lap and rubbing soothing circles across her knuckles. "Slow down and breathe for a second before you end up hyperventilating. I'm not going anywhere, and neither are Ell and Matilda. Seriously Tori, these hypothetical situations of yours are only gonna drive you insane if you keep thinking about them all the time, especially since the future is practically impossible to predict. I know you, and I know that if you messed up and I got hurt, or the others got hurt, then you'd try your best to fix it."
Tori exhaled slowly, but she didn't look entirely convinced. "But what if I don't realise that I've messed up until it's too late? What if I'm too deep in to see the damage I'm doing and I get carried away by it all?"
She hummed softly and squeezed Tori's hands in reassurance, before punching her playfully on the shoulder. "Then I'll blow up your stupid giant robot and knock some sense into you."
A laugh bubbled up out of her chest as she pretended to fall back on the bed and clutch her arm in mock agony from the attack. "I like that answer."
"I have one condition though," Tamara held up a finger, still a tad unnerved by how much thought she had put into this purely hypothetical scenario, "You have to promise me that you'd tell us before you decide to do anything drastic. Ell will want to stock up on cola if the economy gets even worse than it already is."
Tori sat back up and put her hand over her heart solemnly, although there was a mischievious glint in her eye. "Don't worry, I promise to give you all ample warning before I move into a full-scale dictatorship of the proletariat."
She grabbed the pillow and whacked her over the head with a lot more force than was strictly necessary. "Oh fuck off, you are not quoting the communist manifesto at me at this hour of the night."
Tori threw her arms up to defend herself, snickering quietly before she lunged forward and tackled her against the mattress. "Excuse you, that wasn't actually in the communist manifesto, it was one of Marx's other works. Come on Tam, you have to know your enemy."
Tamara shoved at her half-heartedly before giving up and letting her nuzzle into her neck while her arms circled around her waist. "This grand future of yours better not include the communal toothbrush."
The other girl's head quickly shot up, her indignation over communist quotes quickly turning into bewilderment. "Did you just say communal toothbrush?"
She shrugged. "I don't think I could still love you if you decided to introduce that after taking over the world."
A look of what Tamara severely hoped was feigned disappointment crossed Tori's face. "Damn it. There goes the key part of my plan. How are we supposed to achieve world peace without everyone sharing a toothbrush?"
Her girlfriend rolled onto her side and pulled her over along with her, ignoring her slightly alarmed expression. "I'm going to need you to tell me that we're not still being serious right now."
"About which part? The dictatorship of the proletariat or the communal toothbrush?"
Tamara groaned loudly as Tori started laughing again, her eyes crinkling with amusement. "Don't worry Tammy, I promise that my policies aren't just communism repackaged. Think of it more as like, taking inspiration? Making it new and improved. That's not a dealbreaker for you, is it?"
She swatted her hand away when she tried to pinch her cheek, grumbling under her breath. "If it was I would've broken up with you when you showed me anime art of Marx and Engels making out and said "us". As long as there's no communal toothbrush, I guess I can put up with it."
"But," Tamara poked Tori in the ribs to cut her off before she could reply, "You have to use the gay propaganda posters."
Her mouth fell open as her eyes widened in disbelief at what she was hearing. "I have to use the what now?"
"You know, the ones with the Russian guy and the Chinese guy holding each other like they're both pregnant. Here look, I'll show you—"
She leaned over to place her hands firmly on Tori's stomach as she wheezed in laughter and shook her head. "I mean they're certainly iconic, but honestly I think they're a little outdated. We'd have to make new ones, maybe featuring two women instead."
Tamara stared at her as she moved her hand and started tracing circles on her back, her nails brushing lightly over her skin. "You better not be suggesting that you and I should be on Soviet propaganda posters together."
"No, I'm suggesting that you and I should be on Red Army propaganda posters, there's a clear difference."
She snorted derisively. "You're calling your military organisation the Red Army? You really couldn't think of literally anything else?"
Tori dragged her nails over the sensitive spot near her spine, her smile turning more smug as she squirmed. "Hey, when it's my army sitting at the top of the world, I can call it whatever I want. If you keep making fun of me I'll rename London and have everyone call it Leningrad instead."
Tamara elbowed her in the side, her skin tingling from the touch. "Like hell you will, especially not if you still want me to be on propaganda posters with you."
Her girlfriend hummed thoughtfully, letting her hand slide underneath her shirt and brush against her hips instead. "I mean, if you're going to be on propaganda posters then it'd be better if you were already somewhat known to the public, right? As an important figure in the Red Army."
"Whatever idea you're getting about me being a high-ranked army general or something like that, you can kiss it goodbye right now. That one military experience we had was already one too many."
Tori pouted a little before reluctantly agreeing. "Fiiine, I can't really see you as a commanding officer anyways. Hmm, what if you were my personal secretary instead?"
Tamara couldn't help but be a bit offended by that, her lip curling in distaste. "Excuse me, your secretary? You want me to sit around all day filing fucking paperwork for you?"
The other girl quickly shook her head and tried to explain herself more clearly. "No, no, the secretary title would just be a formality, you know, to keep our relationship professional to the public. I would say secretary, but you'd basically be my second-in-command. You'd be the one reviewing my decisions and keeping things running smoothly whenever I'm away, which is an extremely important task."
She leaned forward slightly off the mattress and placed her hand on Tamara's thigh, her voice lowering to a soft murmur. "I wouldn't trust anyone else to do it."
Something warm curled in her gut and she shifted sideways to rest her head on Tori's shoulder. "I feel like you're trying to sweet-talk me into an office job."
"Aw Tam, think of it this way, you'd get to keep me in check, and I'd get to keep you close."
Her face flushed at the thought of it, a carnal shade of pink dusting her cheeks as her gaze drifted none-too-subtly downwards. "Faen, what I wouldn't give to see you in a suit."
Tamara bumped her knee against hers, before hooking her left leg over Tori's right one and tangling them together. "You don't have to take over the world just to see me in a suit, dumbass."
Tori gave her a toothy grin. "I don't know, that sounds like a good enough reason to me."
"As long as I'm the one choosing the suit, then sure. I better not have to wear red."
Her girlfriend brushed her knuckles lightly down her thigh, while her other hand moved to start absentmindedly playing with the hem of her shirt. "Of course not, my personal secretary can wear whatever she wants. Besides, I'd wear enough red for both of us."
"I don't doubt that." Tamara paused, a thought suddenly occurring to her. "Can I drink on the job?"
Tori made a face that was halfway between an affectionate smile and an annoyed grimace. "That'd be a little unprofessional."
She moved her head off her shoulder to give her an unimpressed look, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "I'd argue that assigning your girlfriend as your second-in-command is highly unprofessional."
Tori raised her hands in surrender. "Alright, point taken. You can drink on the job, but I want you sober for important meetings. Like this one."
"Only if my drinks are being provided by this Red Army of yours."
"And how am I supposed to explain to my generals that part of our military budget has been allocated to my secretary's alchohol problem?"
Tamara gave her a mock-salute. "That's where the propaganda posters come in."
The other girl shook her head disapprovingly, but she couldn't stop the smile that was spreading across her face. "See? Innovative ideas and problem-solving skills. You're a natural already."
A yawn slipped out from her lips before she replied. "Yeah, yeah, I'm the best girlfriend and the most competent secretary ever, but I'm also very tired. Do you have a proper answer to your hypothetical scenario now?"
She nodded, grabbing her gently by the waist and tugging her closer to her chest. "Ja, I do. Thank you."
Tamara stretched out her arm to pull the duvet back over them both. "You're welcome. But if you ever wake me up at three in the morning to answer a hypothetical question again, I'm starting a rebellion to oppose your regime."
"What I'm hearing is that two in the morning is okay for hypothetical questions."
"You are absolutely terrible at convincing people to join you, you know that?"
"Oh, am I now?" Tori's hands slid down from her waist to her thighs, her fingers playing teasingly at the fabric of her pyjama shorts. "Then what exactly would it take to convince you?"
Tamara brushed her lips lightly over Tori's neck, relishing the way her skin instantly reddened. "I think if you got up to make me breakfast tomorrow as an apology for rudely shaking me awake, I'd be very much convinced to follow the almighty Red Leader Tori."
Tori laughed, her throat moving up and down as she pressed a soft kiss to it and lay her head back down on the pillow. "Alright, you win. Anything for my second-in-command."
"Good. I'm looking forward to it."
Tom wasn't surprised to find Tord gone when he woke up, his visor flickering to life as he slid it back on.
It wasn't uncommon for the Red Leader to already be up and about in the early hours of the morning, whether it be to respond to an emergency summon or to check on his latest experiment in the lab. It was rare for them to go to bed at the same time these days, let alone wake up together.
However, he was surprised to find Tord sitting in their private dining quarters that they shared with his head buried in a stack of papers and one hand scribbling distractedly in a notebook, while the smell of cinnamon wafted through the air.
He glanced up from the hapharzard pile as Tom entered, his marred face breaking out into a smile at the exclamation and question marks flashing across his visor. "Ah, good morning. I didn't want to disturb you when I got up, you were sleeping so soundly."
Tord pushed a plate with a hefty stack of pancakes piled onto it towards him as he took the seat across the table, along with a jug of freshly brewed coffee.
Tom looked at the plate and then to Tord, and then back again. "What's the occasion?"
He bristled a little, seeming almost offended that he would even ask such a question. "Can I not want to make breakfast for my favourite secretary?"
"I'm your only secretary, sir."
Tord gave him a smug grin, unable to keep the satisfaction out of his voice. "Yes, and for good reason. Now eat. Otherwise they'll go cold."
Tom complied, the corners of his mouth twitching as the Red Leader set aside his paperwork to watch him pour maple syrup over the pancakes.
He sliced them apart with ease and took a large bite, keeping his face carefully neutral while they practically melted onto his tongue. The pancakes were fluffy without being too dry and sweet without ruining the overall flavour, the slight tinge of cinnamon being the cherry on top.
Tord continued to stare, his good eye narrowing almost imperceptibly. "Well?"
Tom finished chewing and swallowed, setting his fork down for a moment. "I can't help think that this is some sort of bribe, sir."
"What a preposterous accusation. Really, Thomas, I'm hurt by how little you seem to think of me."
He reached over to grab the jug of coffee without breaking eye contact, letting the silence speak for itself.
The Red leader coughed after a few awkward seconds, his hands flipping absentmindedly through the pages of his notebook. "You remember subject 5T4R80Y, don't you? The one I was altering so it would be able to survive in space?"
Tom poured himself a cup, letting the coffee drip out slowly on purpose as his visor kept its deadpan look. "It's rather hard to forget, with a design like that."
Tord very much looked as if he wanted to comment on the jab at his creative choices, but refrained from doing so in favour of smiling charmingly at him. "It may have ah, figured out how to operate keypads. Specifically the ones for the doors. And it may or may not have managed to break out of the base and ran off into the nearby forest before anyone could subdue it."
He should've known the second he walked in. "And you need someone with the ability to transform into a monster to help you recapture it?"
"Well, need isn't quite the word I'd use, but I would be extremely grateful if you could offer your assistance in the matter."
Tom shook his head in exasperation, already regretting his decision to agree to his request. "You're unbelievable."
"You still love me though." The Red Leader slid a plate of waffles over as well, just to sweeten the deal.
He stabbed his fork into the pancakes and pointed one at him playfully. "Correction. I love your cooking."
Tord laughed, the sound echoing through the room and putting a small smile on Tom's face. "That's close enough."