Chapter Text
Denni stands nervously at the altar, his gaze shooting between the pastor and the door. At any moment, Conix would be walking through the gates, ready to finalize their marriage.
It had started as a joke - if Doggie reached Tacos, they’d get married. A ridiculous idea brought up in the heat of the moment. However, RobTop must’ve had a vendetta against the two, because Doggie miraculously reached the section that attempt, sealing their fate.
“Yo, can this kid hurry up?” Impatiently flipping through the pages of his book, Zoink glares at the church entrance.
Denni gives Zoink an awkward pat on the back. “I’m sure he’ll get here soon, just wait.”
Sure enough, the wedding guests fall silent as music begins to play. The church doors violently swing open, with Conix ungracefully skipping through them.
“I’m readyy!” Conix exclaims zestily. The entire crowd turns to his direction.
Denni raises his eyebrows. Conix, despite his constant lack of aura, was actually decently dressed for the occasion. To his left, Denni could hear Zoink whistle.
“Took you long enough. Now, let’s get the ceremony started! Before we begin, would anyone like to-“
“I object!” A voice rings through the room.
Everyone in the church gasps in shock.
“Seriously? Who was that?!” Diamond whispers.
“Damn.” Technical shrugs.
“54%, ugh..” Doggie sighs, busy practicing grief on his phone.
Zoink raises his hand. “Order in the cour- uh... church! Whoever just objected to this marriage, please step forward.”
Suddenly, a mysterious energy fills the room as Trick stands up from his seat, advancing to the front.
Conix chokes on air. “Trick?!! Why the hell are you objecting?”
“Conix, remember what I said at 1:05:09 during my 17/100 TS II stream in November of 2025?” Trick asks sincerely, completely ignoring Denni’s confused stare in favour of maintaining eye contact with Conix.
“Uhh, I wasn’t there, dude. What did you say?” Conix says.
“Oh nevermind. The point is, you should marry me, not Denni.” Trick states, dramatically getting on one knee.
The church breaks into hushed discussion, some in disbelief, some entertained by the unbelievable situation. Even Doggie momentarily stops playing grief to give a mild reaction.
“Who the fuck do you think you are?” Denni steps between Conix and Trick. “Why do you even want my fiancé? Go find someone else.”
Trick smugly grins at Denni. “You pmo. So, I’m disrupting your wedding. Getting to marry Conix is a bonus, though.”
Conix, breaking free from his moment of confused silence, inturrupts, “Err, do I have a say in this?”
“No.” Both Trick and Denni pause their glaring session to unanimously glare at Conix.
“Anyways, back off.” Denni towers over Trick, crossing his arms.
“Nah.” Trick nonchalantly straightens his back, which doesn’t really add much to his height disadvantage, but it’s the thought that counts.
Zoink, anticipating a fight ahead, decides to finally step in. “On everything you two need to relax. If you have problems, solve them after the marriage.”
Trick, after a long consideration, nods and retreats. “Oh well. Dennis, sleep with one eye open tonight.”
“Wow, I’m so scared.” Denni rolls his eyes, but returns to his position beside Conix at the altar.
Zoink sighs in relief. “Okay. Denni Geometry Dash, do you-“
Suddenly, the previously closed double doors of the church are flung off its hinges, wood chunks spraying in the air. Luckily, the top players in the crowd were able to keep the debris from injuring anyone with their skill.
In the middle of the gaping hole in the wall stood Cursed.
“I’m so sorry, I had a physics exam!” Cursed exclaims Britishly, wiping the dust off his t-shirt. “Hopefully I’m not interrupting?”
“No, take a seat.” Zoink deadpans. “Anyways…”
The ceremony, remarkably, proceeded peacefully from that moment. Denni and Conix were pronounced lawfully wed, and the audience clapped in celebration.
“Wow, I can’t believe they actually got married!” Cursed says, excitedly nudging Diamond.
“Congrats,” Doggie adds, clapping to the click pattern of grief.
Zoink clears his throat. “Okay, time to throw the bouquet!”
Denni magically whips out a bouquet of flowers from the void that constantly engulfs him. He casually tosses the flowers to Conix, who lifts them above his head before chucking the flowers as if they were a dodgeball.
Shooting across the church, the flowers almost behead Doggie before slamming into Cursed’s face.
“Ha, I guess you’re next in line!” Diamond chuckles. Cursed laughs along with him. Everyone in the church begins clapping again, filling the atmosphere with a jubilant vibe.
Finally, as the sun starts to set, the newlyweds embark on their journey back home after a (mostly) successful wedding. Denni and Conix retreat to their shared bedroom, Cursed goes to his room to study his books, Diamond orders steak from doordash and Doggie gets back on grief. The night falls peacefully, marking the end of a joyous day.
However, under the cover of the midnight darkness, a shadowed figure begins to manifest inside of the TCD household…