Work Text:
Saiki Kusuo was an esper.
Normally, this would be the part where the protagonist introduces himself, explains his powers, and gives the audience the necessary background information before the story begins.
Sadly, Kusuo was not particularly interested in playing along with narrative conventions.
It had been approximately two weeks since he had stopped that annoying world-ending meteor. Most people would probably call saving the world a memorable achievement.
Saiki considered it an unnecessary headache. And to make matters slightly worse (if that was even possible) for reasons that could only be described as deeply unfortunate, Saiki kusuo was back at PK Academy with every one of his psychic abilities restored.
Along with them went the perfectly ordinary, average and blissfully quiet life he had spent years trying to archieve.
As he walked through PK Academy's front gates, he found himself surrounded by thousands of students with brightly colored hair —the consequence of rewriting humanity's genetics.
For anyone who somehow missed that explanation, go watch the anime or read the manga. He certainly wasn't going through it again.
By this point, he regretted every single life choice that had led him back here.
To his right, Kaidou was enthusiastically explaining yet another absurd theory about the Dark Reunion to Aren, who listened with surprising patience.
On his left walked Nendou. What was Nendou thinking? Saiki had no idea. For all anyone knew, there could've been elevator music playing inside his head.
Normally, the morning telepathic broadcast was little more than an endless mixture of homework complaints, school gossip, teenage existential crises, and thousands upon thousands of overlapping thoughts.
After years of living with telepathy, the pale-purple-eyed esper had unconsciously learned to tune most of them out and focus only on what actually mattered to him
...At least, on most days.
Apparently, today had no intention of being one of them.
The moment he stepped onto campus, countless voices crashed together inside his head with enough force to drown out everything else.
[That can't be true...]
[Well... they do look good together. I mean, he's actually pretty handsome, so maybe it wouldn't be that ba—]
[SHUT UP!]
[Our goddess... with an older man?!]
[How could this happen to Teruhashi-san...? What happened to our goddess?!]
[You idiots! She's still the same Teruhashi-san we've always admired! Don't lose faith! We'll continue protecting her no matter what!]
[THAT'S RIGHT!!]
[LONG LIVE TERUHASHI-SAN!!]
[WE'LL ALWAYS STAND BY OUR GODDESS!!]
The mental cheers that followed were so overwhelmingly synchronized that,for one deeply unfortunate second, they almost sounded rehearsed.
Saiki's left eyebrow twitched. ‘Good grief... Did the cafeteria stop selling coffee jelly? Because that's the only reasonable explanation for this level of mass hysteria. ‘
“Hey, guys,” Kaidou began, craning his neck toward the hallway. “What's with that huge crowd?”
“What crowd?” Nendou replied.
A few seconds passed
“Oh.”
“...Do you think Kanna Hashimoto came to our school?”
...
“KNOCK IT OFF, YOU IDIOT!” Kaidou and Aren shouted in perfect unison over Saiki's shoulders.
“Why would Kanna Hashimoto be here?!”
“So I can finally propose to her, obviously,” Nendou answered matter-of-factly as he casually picked his nose.
‘That's enough.’
Leaving the three behind, the pink-haired guy made his way toward the crowd.
His gaze settled on the Journalism Club's bulletin board.
A place that was supposedly reserved for important school announcements and impartial reporting. However, it was managed by people whose journalistic standards had always been impressively nonexistent. So instead, it was filled with daily rumors and gossip, though some were barely even noticed by the students.
It had been a while since Saiki had taught Makano and Shouzou a lesson when they tried to spread fake news about Teruhashi-san—not that she needed any help at the time (or that he had been following her to save her)—but they were annoying and persistent, and he had a problem with the school newspaper.
At the center of the board, a massive headline practically screamed for attention: TERUHASHI’S SECRET ROMANCE WITH A MOVIE STAR?! Beneath it was a blown up, grainy photograph of the school’s goddess.
Saiki didn't even need his psychometry to understand the context. He recognized the man in the photo instantly.
’It's Makoto.’
The snapshot had captured the exact moment her theatrical, her weird obsessive brother had lunged out of the house the previous evening, gripping her arm dramatically while wearing oversized sunglasses. Without context, however, it looked like a scandalous, forbidden rendezvous between a beautiful high school girl and a famous idol.
Saiki’s expression remained flat, though an internal sigh echoed in his mind. ‘Good grief. This school's journalism standards are so low they're practically subterranean.’
For a brief moment, he considered using his pyrokinesis to erase the entire board. Then he immediately dismissed the idea
‘Burning the board would solve the problem. It would also create several new ones. It was not an option.’
In the end, he didn't have to do anything. The situation was already becoming more complicated on its own.
Teruhashi had just arrived at the scene, accompanied by Yumehara, Mera, and Imu.
And the moment Teruhashi’s eyes hit the headline, her perfect, glowing angel aura flickered. For a fraction of a second, her flawless smile completely destabilized.
(‘That absolute idiot Makoto!’) Teruhashi’s internal voice shrieked in pure, unadulterated panic. (‘I told him over and over again not to hug me in public, especially out on the street! I knew something like this could happen!’)
”K-Kokomi?!” Yumehara stammered, her jaw dropping as her eyes darted between her friend and the board. “No... this can't be true! You would have told me if you were seeing someone this gorgeous, right?” A strange, dazed expression took over Yumehara's face, her hopeless-romantic brain instantly sidetracked by how handsome the man in the photo was. (‘I mean... wow, he really is incredibly good-looking...’)
Next to them, Mera was completely oblivious to the tension, happily munching on a small batch of homemade pastries.
Saiki's eyes moved to the box for only a second..he didn't need more than that.
The careful presentation, homemade appearance and—
('Teruhashi-san is so kind!!!! She made these herself for me! This is too delicious. I have to treasure EVERY BITE')
'Of course she was the one who made them.’
He looked away. ‘Mera is treating them like a five-star meal.’
His attention shifted toward Teruhashi-san's thoughts. It wasn't easy to focus on her when countless other voices overlapped, each one trying to force its way into his mind.
(‘This is a disaster!’) Teruhashi’s thoughts spiraled into complete panic.(‘This completely ruins my image as the perfect pretty girl! How am I supposed to convince everyone this is a misunderstanding? If this continues—’)
She turned her head desperately, searching for a way out of the situation.
And then her eyes accidentally met Saiki’s.
He was just standing there, staring back at her with his usual blank expression, a giant invisible question mark practically hanging over his head.
For once, Teruhashi looked genuinely horrified. (‘What am I supposed to do?! Saiki and Imu are the only people in this school who know the truth about Makoto! I can't reveal that he's my brother. The moment people find out, the media will swarm this place! Paparazzi will probably enroll their own children into PK Academy just to get pictures of me! They'll try to turn me into a movie star... or worse—A NATIONAL IDOL!’)
Her expression tightened.
(‘No. Absolutely not. I cannot let that happen!’)
‘Aren't you exaggerating just a little?’ Saiki thought, completely deadpan.
Meanwhile, standing right beside Teruhashi, Imu was going through her own personal crisis.
(‘How dare they spread such disgusting rumors about Kokomi?!’) Her fingers tightened around the straps of her school bag.(‘Kokomi looks so distressed. I can't let them ruin her happiness and—’)
Then, her eyes caught a clearer view of the photograph.
Her entire train of thought derailed. (‘Ah~ But... he really is incredibly handsome, isn't he? Her brother actually has a similar vibe to Teruhashi...’)
Imu immediately shook her head, as if physically trying to reset her own brain. (‘NO! Focus, Imu! Kokomi comes first! I need to help her! But how?!’)
With a sudden burst of determination, the second queen of PK Academy stepped forward and placed herself between Teruhashi and the crowd.
“You're all completely wrong!” Imu declared, her voice echoing through the hallway. “This article is absolute nonsense! None of it is true!”
“Oh? And how exactly can you be so certain, Rifuta-san?”
A sharp voice cut through the whispers.
Manako, the president of the Newspaper Club, stepped out from the crowd with a sly smile. Her eyes sparkled with the unmistakable excitement of someone who had just found a new source of entertainment. Behind her stood Shouzou, camera already prepared.
“The photographic evidence is right there,” Manako said, tapping the newspaper. “Unless Teruhashi-san herself can provide a convincing explanation for who this man is, the article remains valid.”
Her smile widened. “Could it be that our beloved goddess has been hiding a secret life from her loyal fans?~”
The surrounding boys groaned in collective heartbreak, their reactions only adding more pressure to the already overwhelming situation.
Teruhashi’s breathing hitched. The weight of everyone's attention pressing down on her brought back an unpleasant memory—the day she had collapsed in the hallway after pushing herself too far, forcing Saiki to carry her away from the crowd just to escape the chaos.
(‘She couldn't let that happen again!’)
“Hey! Back off!” Yumehara snapped, stepping forward to defend her friend.
“Yeah, leave her alone!” Kaidou added, suddenly appearing beside Aren and Nendou. “The Dark Reunion is obviously behind this smear campaign!”
(‘AH, Kaidou-Kun…he’s so cool when he’s standing up like that!) Yumehara thought, pratically sparkling. (…always so kind when it comes to protecting his Friends!~♡’)
“You think you can get away with this, Newspaper Club?“Aren said, his delinquent aura flaring up just enough to make Manako hesitate, although she stubbornly kept her pen raised.
The situation was escalating quickly.
Manako continued pressing them for an explanation, cornering them with every question.
And for once, even the usually confident Teruhashi had no perfect response.
Faced with imminent defeat, Imu's mind suddenly lit up.
(‘Wait... if I tell them she's already dating someone, they'll have to drop this completely! A boyfriend from our school instantly makes this whole “mysterious older man” thing look like fake news! But who?!’)
Imu's eyes frantically scanned the boys around her.
(‘Kaidou? No. He looks like a middle schooler, and besides, Yumehara clearly likes him. I can't do that to her. Kuboyasu? Absolutely not. He has a genuinely terrifying aura... he's definitely been through something dark. Nendou? Ew. Never. Not even in a million years! Nobody would even believe on that! Then who—’)
‘I really don't like where this is going.’ Saiki thought, a cold sweat threatening to appear.
(‘Saiki. SAIKI!’)
Imu's eyes locked onto the pink-haired boy.
(‘He actually makes perfect sense, doesn't he?!’)
‘No.’ Saiki immediately responded mentally.
(‘He's one of the only guys in school who isn't part of the Kokomins, but somehow he's always the closest to her! She's constantly around him and his friends. And wait... weren't there rumors about them secretly having a child once?! I thought that was just a ridiculous rumor, and I never asked because I didn't want to upset Kokomi, but I investigated with my own sources—the Imu Fan Club—and even though I know it's not true, a lot of people still believed it! That's how convincing it was!’)
Her thoughts accelerated.
(‘Plus, he's always so calm around her... Wait. I've never actually heard him say “Offu!” Could that mean... he already knows she likes him? He's so confident about their relationship that he doesn't even need to react?! He must be secretly trying to win her over! AND he knows about Makoto too! It's perfect!’)
‘It is absolutely not’ If a mental sigh were possible, Saiki would have released one. ‘And what exactly is wrong with you? You're starting to sound like a detective.’
(‘It has to be him! There’s no other choice!’)
Before Saiki could come up with a way to escape this situation, Imu took a deep breath.
Then, with all the confidence of someone making the most important announcement of her life, she raised her arm and pointed dramatically toward the crowd.
"STOP IT, ALL OF YOU!" Her voice echoed through the entire hallway, instantly silencing everyone.
“She isn't dating some outsider...” Imu declared, her expression full of determination. “Because... she's already dating someone from our school!”
The entire hallway froze in that moment.
“WHAT???"
"Who!?” someone shouted.
Imu hesitated for only a second. Then she pointed straight at him.
“She's dating Saiki!”
For one painful second, absolute silence filled the corridor.
The whispers disappeared. Every eye turned toward Imu, then immediately shifted toward Teruhashi, who stood frozen in place, her face bright red and a nervous sweat forming.
The cracks in her perfect image weren't something Saiki noticed—he was used to seeing them. The shocking part was that everyone else could see them too.
And then—
The hallway exploded.
The announcement didn't just break the silence; it destroyed the Kokomins' already fragile sanity. Within milliseconds, countless panicked thoughts came pouring into Saiki's mind all at once.
[SO IT WAS TRUE THIS WHOLE TIME?!]
[THEN THE SECRET CHILD RUMOR WAS TRUE TOO?!]
[HE'S NOT DENYING IT, AND NEITHER IS TERUHASHI-SAN!]
[THAT BASTARD! Back in the library, I literally told him Teruhashi-san didn't care about him and that he should give up on his plans! No wonder he looked so smug and confident back then!]
‘What an unnecessarily long thought.’
[How can a weird, mediocre guy like him end up with a goddess?!]
[BUT HE'S SO... AVERAGE?? HOW DID HE EVEN PULL THIS OFF?!]
‘I honestly don't know whether to consider that last one an insult or a compliment,’ Saiki thought, his expression remaining completely frozen.
The murderous glares of every boy in the hallway locked onto Saiki. A wicked aura filled the air as the atmosphere grew heavier by the second.
Several members of the Kokomin Club, wearing their official headbands and gear, began aggressively rolling up their sleeves. Others cracked their knuckles, preparing to charge at him like a wild pack of animals.
‘I could easily take down every single one of them without breaking a sweat,’ Saiki calculated, analyzing the trajectories of the students closest to him. ‘However, using my powers to launch a hundred students into the ceiling in broad daylight is obviously not an option. Though, I could probably deal with them even without using my abilities.’
While Saiki calculated his possible escape routes, the reactions of the people closest to him finally reached his mind through the overwhelming storm of thoughts.
To his right, Kaidou had completely frozen. His schoolbag slipped from his hand, hitting the floor with a dull thud. His eyes were wide, staring at Saiki in complete disbelief as his brain desperately rejected reality.
'He's acting like the world just ended’
“N-No way... This is impossible!” he whispered, his voice completely drowned out by the surrounding chaos.
Inside his head, Kaidou’s thoughts were screaming.
(‘The quiet, antisocial Saiki... and the most beautiful girl in THE WORLD?! THIS SAIKI?! Is this some kind of illusion?! IS THIS GUY PART OF DARK REUNION?! Did he manipulate her?! Or worse... has Saiki been a secret romance master this entire time, hiding his true power?! No. I refuse to believe this!’)
Aren stood right beside him, his jaw slightly open. He scratched the back of his neck, completely baffled.
(‘Wait... Saiki and Teruhashi?’) Aren blinked, looking between the two of them. (‘I mean, they do spend a lot of time together, but... damn. I didn't know my friend had that kind of charm. Good for him, I guess? But looking at this crowd... man, he's going to get completely destroyed if he stays here. Should I make an escape route for him?)
“Oh,” Nendou suddenly said, breaking the tension with his usual clueless smile. He casually clapped his hands and slapped Saiki on the shoulder, almost sending him stumbling forward.
“So buddy you're dating Teruhashi? Cool! Hey since you're a couple now, does that mean she's gonna buy us ramen after school?”
‘Be quiet, Nendou.’
Suddenly, Toritsuka pushed his way through the crowd, his face twisted into a mask of pure, uncontrollable envy.
He didn't dare challenge Saiki directly—knowing exactly what the psychic was capable of—but his thoughts were louder than everyone else's. (‘SAIKI, YOU TRAITOR!!!’) Toritsuka's mind was practically crying tears of jealousy
(‘HOW DID YOU DO THIS?! TEACH ME YOUR SECRETS! I WANT TO KILL YOU RIGHT NOW, BUT I VALUE MY LIFE TOO MUCH! DAMN IT, WHY DO ALL THE GOOD THINGS HAPPEN TO A GUY WHO DOESN'T EVEN WANT THEM?!’)
Right behind them, Akechi Touma was practically vibrating.
His eyes were wide as his brain launched into a relentless, lightning-fast chain of deductions that was physically exhausting for Saiki to listen to.
(‘Wow, Kusuo-kun, this is truly an unprecedented development. If we analyze the social structure of PK Academy, the mathematical probability of a completely inconspicuous individual who actively avoids attention entering a romantic relationship with a girl whose popularity index has practically developed into a pseudo-religious movement is an extreme statistical anomaly. And honestly, if I didn't already know your enormous secret—that you are a literal all-powerful esper capable of altering reality—I would have absolutely considered the possibility that you used some form of advanced cognitive manipulation, hypnotic suggestion, or even telepathic influence to alter her perception of you. Because from a purely logical and psychological perspective, there is absolutely no conventional explanation for—’)
He raised one hand, his index finger and thumb forming his usual thinking pose, as if he had just discovered the key to a complicated mystery.
‘Stop. That's enough.’
Akechi didn’t stop.
(‘However... considering Teruhashi-san's reactions, that possibility doesn't seem likely. Her behavior appears completely genuine. Which means...’)
Akechi paused, his eyes narrowing.
(‘The only remaining possibility is that Kusuo-kun somehow managed this without using any outside influence.’)
Saiki's expression remained unchanged. 'Why does that somehow sound worse?'
A few meters away, Saiko Metori leaned against a pillar, crossing his arms as he checked his gold watch. He observed the chaos with nothing but pure disdain.
(‘Hmph. These pathetic plebeians are making a scene over something completely obvious.’)
He rolled his eyes. (‘As if anyone with a brain couldn't have noticed this. Wasting my precious energy over a commoner's romance is beneath me.’)
Teruhashi was still standing in the middle of the hallway, her face burning a brilliant shade of crimson, looking like she might actually faint this time.
Realizing the Kokomins were only seconds away from starting a literal riot, Imu acted purely on instinct.
She grabbed Teruhashi’s wrist with one hand, dragging her along as she moved toward Saiki. With her other hand, she aggressively gripped the back of Saiki’s uniform collar.
“We need to talk in private! MOVE OUT OF THE WAY!” Imu yelled at the crowd, using her authority as the second prettiest girl at PK Academy.
The crowd actually obeyed, parting to open a path. Seizing the opening, Imu violently dragged Teruhashi and an extremely resigned Saiki down the corridor, sprinting toward an empty classroom to escape the absolute madness.
