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The Ottawa Centaurs found themselves at a fairground on a sunny afternoon in September. It was preseason, but the Ottawa boys were playing the Calgary Stetsons the next day in an afternoon game, and it just so happened that the Calgary Stampede coincided with their trip to the so-called "cowboy province.”
Evan Dykstra was excited. Even though it wasn’t Manitoba, he was finally able to rediscover his roots with his teammates. Hockey ran through his veins, but he was a farm boy at heart, and he hadn’t gotten the chance to show off how much of a farm boy he was. His normal locker-room behavior was just the tip of the iceberg. Scorned country playlist included.
Like with everywhere they went, Evan wore his cowboy boots to Calgary, he also happened to look up the things that were going on around town while the Centaurs were going to be there, so he happened to have his cowboy hat with him as well, and he felt like a true cowboy in his attire, as he walked into the fairgrounds, the slightly bewildered Cens following behind him.
When Evan pitched the idea to the team while they were on the plane, they were surprisingly supportive of the idea. Harris was along with them for this trip, getting preseason content shot, and suggested that they all rent cowboy boots and buy cheesy cowboy hats, to “get in the spirit” and no one was more enthusiastic about this than Wyatt Hayes and Ilya Rozanov.
Ilya was the first to pipe up and say “I would like a sparkly cowboy hat. It would go well with my beautiful Russian face.”
Everyone had to laugh at that one, and Shane looked at his husband with a glowing grin of admiration in the seat next to him.
Wyatt was always excited to nerd-out and dress up for things, and even though he wasn’t a cowboy, he’d always wanted to try on the hat and boots.
So that’s how they, a group of full-grown, oversized hockey players, ended up at a boot rental shop in downtown Calgary that also happened to sell cowboy hats that had fun prints on them, mostly targeted towards children. Evan sat in a chair near the front of the store and giggled as his friends tried on and modeled all types of hats and boots.
True to his word, Ilya bought a sparkly pink hat that was surely going to make him stand out in a crowd full of full-time cowboys. Also true to his word, it did go well with his beautiful Russian face.
Wyatt opted for a cow print hat and he kept mooing at everyone that came near him. The shop was full of laughter and Evan knew that this was just the beginning.
Everyone else’s hats were tamer, but they would all be noticed just by being associated with the two that had the outlandish hats on. They exited the shop with their boots on their feet and hats on their heads, as they headed to the fairgrounds. The Calgary Stampede was a 10 day event, with races and roping and broncs happening the whole time. Evan knew what to expect walking in, but he didn’t prep anyone else. He wanted them to be surprised as they walked through the gates.
And surprised they were. All of them were disoriented as they moved through the gates into the wave of sound that had taken over the grounds. There were people everywhere, almost all wearing legitimate working cowboy hats and boots.
Ilya looked the most surprised, which wasn’t at all surprising to anyone else. His jaw was nearly on the ground
“Did they have anything like this in Russia?” Shane was holding his hand as they walked through the crowds of people.
“Not that I have ever heard of. And certainly not in Moscow,” Ilya responded. It was loud, so he had to speak loudly for Shane and the rest of the team to hear.
Evan gestured that they should move over to a place where it wasn’t so crowded. The group moved off to the side and gathered around Evan as he explained what was going on. It was like an elementary school field trip, where the teacher had to explain the rules before the students scattered.
“Okay, y’all. Listen up,” Evan wasn’t southern, but he had a drawl that only came out in certain situations, like at rodeos. “I know that none of y’all have ever been to a rodeo before, but this is gonna be fun, okay?”
Everyone nodded around him.
“Now there’s lots of events happening. Roping, barrel racing, chuck racing, mutton busting, bronc riding, all of that. And since all of these events are happening all at the same time, pick a few you really want to see, and go watch those. There’ll be dancing tonight, and I’ll teach y’all some line dances, if you want. There’s also a mechanical bull somewhere around here and I bet 10 bucks that none of y’all can make it longer than 8 seconds on the bull,” Evan grinned around at his team as they immediately perked up.
None of them could resist a bet like that.
“I bet 20 that Dykstra’s gonna eat his words and fall off first,” Bood was the first to chime in. No one had any idea that Evan was a regular on the mechanical bull back at the home rodeos in Manitoba, and also rode bronc for a bit in high school, before his hockey career kicked off.
They all started making bets about who would stay on the longest and Ilya softly added his own.
“I bet 300 that Shane’s going to stay on the longest.” The comment got some head turns and some eyebrow raises from everyone else. Shane’s face turned a deep shade of red as he unlatched his fingers from Ilya’s, and took a step to the side.
“Care to elaborate on that one, Roz?” Troy’s eyebrows were raised as high as they could go. He had his suspicions about what Ilya meant but needed confirmation.
“I will not elaborate, but I know my husband. 300 dollars.” Ilya grabbed at Shane’s hands and their fingers interlaced again.
“Okay, how about we give it an hour or two, catch some events, drink a beer or two, and then ride the bull. That sound okay?” Again everyone nodded. “Okay break,” Evan clapped his hands and the Centaurs split off to find their certain events. Some of the guys stayed grouped up, and some of them looked around aimlessly.
Evan walked off towards the ring where the bronc riders were, and Troy, Nick, and Harris followed him.
“Y’all wanna watch some broncs?”
“That’s where we’re going?” Harris looked at Evan with a shocked look on his face, as if he’d just seen a car crash.
“Uh, yes? Is there a problem with that?”
“No, but isn’t it like really violent?”
Troy nudged his boyfriend in the ribs. “Harris, you’re with a bunch of fucking hockey players. It doesn’t get a whole lot more violent than that.”
“You’re right Harris, it can get pretty violent. The uh riders will sometimes get slammed into the gates if the horse gets too close before they’re out of the saddle. It’s scary to watch, but can be very similar to hockey when one of us gets hit into the boards. Lotta concussions.”
Harris nodded at Troy’s elbow, assessing whether or not he was willing to potentially watch someone get rammed into metal gates while riding on the back of a horse.
Luckily, none of the bronc riders got slammed into the gates while they sat and watched, but some of the riders took some nasty falls from the saddles, which caused the medics to come rushing and the rodeo cowboys to run into the ring, but no one was seriously injured.
Evan kept an eye on the time, so they could meet everyone else at the mechanical bull, and despite most of the riders not being able to stay on the full 8 seconds, the bronc riding still took up a decent amount of time, and by the time the event was over, they had about a half an hour before they were supposed to meet the rest of the team, so Evan’s little group decided to get food.
Harris was strangely the hardest to pull away from the bronc ring, even though the event was over, and the handlers were setting up for the bull riding event.
“Uh Harris, we gotta get some food before the mechanical bull, yeah?”
Troy pulled his boyfriend by the elbow away from the ring and they maneuvered through the crowds of people, until they found a grilled food truck with a menu full of images of glistening racks of ribs, juicy hamburgers, kebabs, and sizzling brats.
Evan ordered a brat and beer, while Troy and Harris both got ribs, and Nick got the chicken kebabs. When the food came out, it was more than a little disappointing.
Evan’s brat was charred, Troy and Harris’ ribs were half sauced with a sparse smattering of barbecue sauce, and Nick’s kebabs were more onion than chicken, but everything was technically edible.
Nick picked at the onions and Troy ate the not so sauced side of his ribs, while Harris ate the more sauced part, and Evan ate the charred brat but winced as he did so. When they had finished their food, it was nearly time for the mechanical bull, so they threw their paper plates in the trash and moved towards where the rest of their team was probably waiting.
“This is going to make for some great content.” Harris already had his phone out, ready to film as they wove their way their way towards the mechanical bull. As expected the rest of the team was already there
Bood was up first. He hopped up on the plastic saddle of the bull and held on to the rope. The operator started it up, and almost immediately, Bood was thrown off into the cushioned inflatable underneath.
Everyone had to laugh as Bood turned beet red under his cowboy hat and crawled out of the pit.
Wyatt was next. He looked the bull in the face and did the ‘I’m watching you’ motion in the plastic bull’s plastic eyes. He then grabbed the horns and tried to launch himself over the head of the fake animal. He failed spectacularly and ended up twisted like a pretzel underneath the base and Evan had to hold his side because of how hard he was laughing.
“What were you trying to do, Hazy?”
“Get on the bull in an unconventional way, duh.”
This caused another wave of laughter to roll through the group, as Wyatt got back on. He also didn’t last long. Longer than Bood, but by about a half second.
Up next was Ilya. He got up on the bull with a strange grace and he rode the bull for a full three seconds before the movement got too sporadic and threw him off. Ilya had a grin on his face when he exited the inflatable pit.
“That was fun! Can I go again?”
“Maybe afterwards, Roz, but you now hold the Centaur riding record,” Evan commented.
The rest of the Centaurs mm hmmed around them and a brief round of applause went through the group.
“Okay, who’s next?” Ilya asked, searching the eyes of his teammates.
“I’ll go,” Evan volunteered.
“Yes, ED!” Bood cheered.
Evan smiled a knowing smile at his friends, as he climbed onto the ride. He adjusted his grip on the rope, and nodded to the operator.
The bull started moving slowly, and Evan put his hand in the air for balance, while his thighs squeezed the plastic saddle.
After a few seconds, the bull’s movement became more sporadic and Evan held on for what felt like dear life, until he hit a wave of movement that his body couldn’t balance through, and he was bucked off.
He looked at the stopwatch that kept track of each rider’s time. 7.668 seconds. Pretty good. Evan climbed out and looked around at the shocked faces of his teammates
Bood whistled. “Woah Rooster, where have you been hiding that one?”
“I uh rode bronc in high school. Was pretty good at it too.” Evan rubbed the back of his neck, and took his hat off to fan his face. “One of my friends is actually here. He’s a pro bronc rider. Could’ve been me, I guess, but I went the hockey route instead, obviously.” He looked around at his clan of hockey players, as if the statement wasn’t clear.
“Why’d you quit?”
“Too many concussions, and I liked being on the ice better anyway,” Evan shrugged.
“That explains a lot, Roost.”
“There was also this girl that I liked but she only liked hockey boys and I was trying to impress her,” Evan’s cheeks flamed.
“And what happened to her? Was she a baddie?”
“Ilya, who taught you that word?” Shane asked after elbowing his husband.
“Luca,” Ilya said casually. Everyone looked at Luca who was sitting with his elbows on a picnic table, feet crossed out in front of him, and hat over his eyes, the epitome of casual. “What? I am just trying to keep up with the kids. How do you do, fellow kids, you know?”
“Is he referencing that Steve Buscemi meme?” Bood asked.
“I don’t know. Is that what you’re referencing, Ilya?” Shane, ever behind in pop culture, had no idea what meme they were talking about.
“I do not know who Steve Buscemi is but he is the guy with the skateboard over his shoulders?”
“Yes, that is Steve Buscemi, Ilya. That’s such an old meme,” Harris chimed in this time. He still had his phone out and seemed to be filming the reaction.
“So? Is still relevant, no?”
“Yeah I guess,” Harris turned his phone back towards the mechanical bull. “Who’s next?”
“I think Shanya should go,” Ilya poked Shane who had his arms folded across his chest. Shane just swatted at Ilya’s hands.
“I can wait if someone else wants to go.”
“Mm how about Luca, then?” Luca lifted his head. Even with the silly hat, he looked the part of a cowboy, and Evan didn’t know how he did it so effortlessly.
“Okay,” Luca moved nervously to the bull, and looked like he was resisting the urge to pet it. He struggled to get on but looked decently comfortable when he was finally up. The operator started the ride and Luca bent over, not bothering to put a hand in the air.
Evan could tell right away that he wasn’t going to last long. And he was right when Luca fell off a few quarter seconds later, putting him solidly in third place behind Ilya. No one was even close to Evan’s time.
Everyone that was left came and went with quick succession, until it was Shane’s turn.
Shane was the last of the Centaurs to face the bull, and was clearly not looking forward to it.
“Hollywood, you’re up. You ready?”
“Uh, is there anyone else who wants to go again?” Shane’s eyes searched desperately through the gathering of his teammates.
“Shane, you will do great. Plus, I bet 300 dollars that you would win this silly contest and I would like to see a return on my investment,” Ilya’s hand was on Shane’s waist, and it seemed to be grounding him. Or distracting him. Evan couldn’t tell.
“Yeah no pressure or anything, Hollzy,” Bood snickered from his corner of the circle.
“Hollywood, Hollywood, Hollywood,” the guys started a low chant around the gathering of professional hockey players. There were definitely people passing by that were giving the group weird looks, but no one seemed to care.
“Alright fine, but I’m not making any promises. Ilya, hold my hat,” Shane took his hat off of his head and handed it to Ilya, who looked giddy like a small child on Christmas morning who just saw the amount of presents under the tree.
Shane clambered on to the bull and grasped the rope. His posture was good, which surprised Evan. Shane locked eyes with the operator and gave a terse nod as the ride started. Shane held on tight as the bull began to move, his hips rolling with the bucking.
Evan looked over at Ilya and saw that his jaw was slack and his eyes were a little glossed over.
“You ever see him do this, Rozy?” Evan elbowed his captain, which broke him out of his trance.
Ilya blinked a few times. “What did you say?”
“You ever see him do something like this?” Evan pointed to Shane who was still going strong on the bull, the stopwatch creeping past the 8 second mark. One of Hollander’s hands was cautiously up in the air for balance, and his thighs were gripping tight to the saddle. His cheeks were flushed as he concentrated on the movement.
“Uh no. I do not think so,” Ilya shrugged off the question and returned to a position of reverence, leaning over his knees with his hands folded under his chin, almost like a prayer.
“Sure Roz.” Evan turned his eyes back to Shane, who’s timer was approaching 15 seconds. Obviously it wasn’t a real bull, but Evan hadn’t ever seen someone ride a bull, mechanical or otherwise, that long. He sidled over to the ride operator.
“Hey is there a way to take this up a notch to buck this guy off?”
“I’ll go as high as it can go. Might be a wild few seconds, though,” the operator clicked the ride up by two and the bull started bucking almost uncontrollably, which was finally enough to buck Shane off, and he landed with a soft thud.
When he stood up after catching his breath for a moment and the Centaurs gave him a round of applause.
“Take a bow, Hollywood. That was one helluva ride.”
Shane’s cheeks were still flushed, but Evan couldn’t tell if it was embarrassment or exertion, but it potentially being either one, Shane took a bow, which got him another round of applause. He stepped out of the pit and held his hand out to Ilya, who took it.
“I was reaching for my hat, asshole,” Shane said through a laugh.
“And I wanted to hold my husband’s hand. We are the same,” Ilya had metaphorical hearts in his eyes as he looked at Shane. It was so cute it was almost gross. It would have maybe been gross if it didn’t make Evan and the rest of the team so happy to see their captain happily in love after having to hide for so long.
“You all owe me $300,” Ilya said with a laugh.
It was about an hour later, and the group was at Spanky’s Saloon, beers in a few guys’ hands, as they sat crowded in booths at the edge of the room, chairs slightly spilling into the walkway.
“Rooster, you never told us what happened to the girl you were talking about earlier?” Ilya asked, in between sips of water.
Evan held up his left hand, where a black and silver ring sat on his ring finger. “I married her.”
“Wait, Caitlin is the baddie you bagged?” Ilya’s jaw was essentially on the floor in shock.
“Yes.. Caitlin is the so-called “baddie” I “bagged”. Are you surprised Roz?”
“Surprised that that gorgeous woman chose to be stuck with your poor taste,” Ilya smiled wide at his teammate.
“Hey, don’t drag my taste into this. And clearly it’s not poor taste, if she chose to be stuck with me too. Plus you just said she was gorgeous.”
“I am not blind Dykstra. I can appreciate a gorgeous woman while still questioning her choice in man. It has happened to me before. I questioned the taste of every woman who was with me but I still knew that she was gorgeous.”
“Whatever Rozy,” Evan said with a good natured shrug.
~~
“You know what they say Roz,” Evan was a few seats down from Shane and Ilya.
“No, what do they say?”
“You wear a cowboy’s hat, you ride the cowboy. Save a horse, ride a cowboy, and all that.” Evan had had a few drinks and was feeling loose. He knew the comment would make Shane blush.
Shane was perched on Ilya’s lap with his arms wrapped around his husband’s shoulders. He also had Ilya’s sparkly hat on his head, Ilya’s curls were pressed to his head in a mixture of sweat from the unexpected September warmth and the hat being on his head all afternoon.
Shane turned another inconceivable shade of red and buried his face in Ilya’s shoulder. When he resurfaced, his face was more pink than red and he had a grin on his face “You know I will, Rooster.”
Someone, probably Bood, wolf whistled at the comment, as the others burst out in laughter.
“Cowgirls and cowboys, it’s time to grab your cowpartners and do some dancin,’” the caller called over the microphone. The Cens made their way onto the dance floor, abandoning their beers and other drinks on the table.
The boys first learned the steps to Cotton Eye Joe. Right foot forward, heel heel. Right foot back, toe toe. Right foot out, tap. Right foot cross across front. Right foot back out. Right foot cross behind. Grapevine right, hope on right foot, clap, lasso spin to the left, do it all over again.
They learned a few other common, easier dances before the caller got into the more complicated ones, which most of the team is ultimately game for, even though almost everyone is stumbling over their own feet, except Luca and Evan, Shane who Evan shouldn’t have been surprised about due to Shane’s normal coordination and focus, and Ilya’s again Slavic grace.
Eventually everyone was too tired to keep up, but the caller said “Grab your sweethearts this next one’s a couple dance” so Ilya grabs Shane by the hand and starts whirling him around the dance floor, without any rhythm or form, and looks like Taz the Tasmanian Devil, but Shane was clearly grinning as he let himself be spun.
Evan opened his Spotify and found the song that Shane and Ilya were dancing to and he copied the link. He went to his messages and found Caitlin’s contact pinned to the top of the screen and pasted the link into the message box, hitting send, and then typing ‘We’re going out dancing when I get home. Love you, miss you 😘’ and hit send again. He wasn’t expecting Cait to answer because she was probably asleep after a full day of solo-parenting their sometimes rambunctious toddler, but Evan smiled nonetheless, thinking of the side of himself that he was able to show to his teammates and for the fact that they didn’t make fun of him for it, too much.