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The one with the odd stream of consciousness

Summary:

Oliver makes himself known to Felicity who has a ranty response

Work Text:

Well damn.

She wanted to be wrong, for once in her life, she wanted to be wrong. She had gotten into her car, almost driving into a pillar in the carpark of Queen Consolidated (never had she been so thankful for her Slayer enhanced abilities) when Oliver Queen spoke to her. A bloodied Oliver Queen.

What kind of asshole lay injured in people’s cars? For all, he knew she was squeamish and terrified of blood.

He didn’t know about her nightlife, but better question why did people always assume that women would faint at the sight of blood? Women spent a week every month or two bleeding out of their hoo-ha, it was just sexist and downright insulting. Felicity had a theory, completely unproven that female mass murderers tended to be caught less because they knew how to clean up blood. Take cleaning that cute little pair of knickers after your complete liar of a body allows you to believe that your period is over and then NOPE haha bitch it’s still on.

Who knew that cleaning up your bedsheet when you had that pesky little red stain there, could be so handy?

Anyway, what was Felicity’s point? She knew she had a point, didn’t she?

Oh yeah, she had almost driven her car into a pillar. She wasn’t Spike! When had she turned into Spike? He had better never hear about this! She would never hear the end of it otherwise.

Stupid vampire friend, why did he feel it necessary to always hold onto things for too long? THE MOONLANDING WAS REAL DAMNIT. Why was she even friends with the guy? Oh, yeah he could be just as sarcastic as Felicity. But Dru?

Yeah Dru was a whole kettle of vampires. All that crazy, wrapped up in the tiny little package? Yeah, pass thanks, hard pass.

And then when Diggle had been completely dismissive of her? Was it because she was a woman? Or because she was a blond? It was only because she dyed it! ! Felicity really didn't like her dirty fair hair colour, and really didn't think she could pull it off? It made her look like a sickly extra on the Walking Dead for crying out loud.

“Sugarlumps, why are you calling?” Felicity startled Digg when she started to speak into her phone.

“There's been a thing.” Felicity frowned in thought when she heard Tommy sounded stressed.

“Well, don't keep me in suspense, tell Mama what's wrong?”

“I overheard a thing when I was with Laurel at her Dad’s house, there's been an exasaguanited multilated corpse found, I'm in your small library now looking up things.”

“Oh, goodness that is such a conundrum Mom, did you try turning it on and off at the breaker?” Felicity’s mind started to whirl. It would only raise more questions – questions that Felicity really didn't want getting around, questions that she really didn't want asked.

"You're not alone are you? I'm just going to keep on researching here, have a good night”

“No Mom, I'll ring you tomorrow evening after work to help you”

Felicity hung up ignoring the looks of confusion John Diggle was sending her. She'd get out of here in the morning, and go and help Tommy hit the books. Thank goodness it was a Friday night. Truly a crappy way to start the weekend.

The rest of the evening Felicity tried to tease out the information from the weird dead body from the back of her mind. She had came across reading about the monster before but it was like a mental block, she really couldn't place the monster.

She would probably end up spending the whole weekend reading through books.