Chapter Text
Los Angeles Queens '19-'20 Season
10:15 AM
Allie added Esther, Emmie, Cristina, Shay and Anna
Allie
New phone who dis
Just kidding babes!! New season new chat, welcome all!!
Esther
lmao Allie you literally messaged us in last season's gc like five minutes ago
Emmie
cmon Esther, don't lie. it was five seconds ago
Allie
you're making fun of me but you seem to forget that this gc is for the new season
and do you know what the new season means?
WE'RE FINALLY USING THE GC ACCORDING TO THE NEW BYLAWS
Esther
wait
girl
Allie
oh yeah
Cristina
I feel like i'm missing something
Allie
oh you are
Cristina
care to share with the rest of the class?
Allie
new bylaws = new WAG definition
NO MORE FLINGS IN THE GC
Emmie
FUCKING FINALLY
Cristina
ohmy stupid pregnancy brain
NO MORE FLINGS?
also I just realized
NO MORE FUCKING JESSICA IN THE CHAT
Allie
gosh I want to be a girl's girl so bad but just knowing that i no longer have to listen to jessica's delusions about getting back together with pat sounds like all my dreams came true on the same day
Shay
literal best day of my life
Anna
lol not your wedding? or the birth of your children?
Shay
who cares about family when we can finally use the wags chat as God intended!! NO MORE JESSICA
Cristina
but wait
Allie
for you? I'll wait until the end of times
Cristina
🙄
is it really just the six of us who pass the new wag definition
there are like a million men on this team
Allie
unless you know something I don't?
Bergy and his girl have only been together for like 6 months, so they're not passing the one-year rule
then the rookies afaik are all single and ready to mingle
Shay
what about Kelly?
Anna
ahh you didn't hear? they broke up during the summer. Kelly moved back to nyc for school and they didn't want to do long distance
Shay
nooo I actually liked her!! why is it always the good ones who leave
and not Allie lol
Allie
if I was not the literal godmother of your child I'd be very upset rn
but because I am, all I'm gonna say is love you babe
Shay
love you too boo ❤️
Cristina
disgusting. back to the topic
I can't believe that the rest of the team is still single. we're talking about NHL players. they marry at like 20
Emmie
I say this with all the love in my heart
but just because Trevor knocked you up when you were 20...
Cristina
I want to make a new bylaw
specifically to kick Emmie out of the chat
Rule 3: You shall be no bitch
Allie
crying
but also taking notes because I feel like if our men get to have a rulebook then we should have one too
Anna
not to distract you Allie from planning your world domination
but did we think about the new guys? aside from the rooks
I feel like Garrett, Davidson and Hollander all give out husband energies
or the very least I, too, knocked up my beautiful girlfriend at 20 energies
Emmie
lol
Cristina
et tu Anna? et tu
Anna
? is that english? that does not look like english
Emmie
it's latin babe, ignore her
Anna
I move to a foreign country thinking that at least I will understand the language and then you start talking to me in LATIN?
unbelievable
Allie
oh I totally forgot about the new guys!! lemme ask Zach, they should still be at practice
Emmie
in the meantime, I'll stalk all of them on insta
finally some fresh meat
Esther
sorry babes, I was dragged into a meeting
what did I miss
Emmie
we're stalkers
Esther
should I even ask?
Allie
we're not stalkers Emmie
@Esther babe you didn't miss anythign, we were just happy that we finally got rid of jessica because of the new bylaws. and we're trying to figure out if the newly traded guys have anyone we should add to the chat
Shay
Garrett doesn't seem to have a steady girlfriend based on his insta. tho that ofc does not mean anything
Emmie
Davidson has a bunch of old photos with a blondie from like three years ago
but she is notably absent in recent years soo...
take that as you will
Cristina
lol Hollander has like no personal photos. there's one with his mom on Mother's Day but other than that it's all thirst trap ads
get that bag king
Allie
lol like he is not one of the most well-paid NHL players
ohmygod
wait
Zach just texted me
apparently Hollander has a fiancee??
Cristina
what
Emmie
what
Shay
what
Allie
"hollzy said he has a fiancee back in Canada. they're doing long distance but they've been together for a while" this is all I know. and honestly, I am even impressed that this man gave me that many details when usually I have to beg him for team gossip
Shay
lmao he was just happy to be talking to Hockey Jesus. i am sure Nate is also fanboying, he has such a man crush on Hollander
but I mean... who can blame him
Anna
amen
that Peloton ad? I thought my replay button would break
Esther
Anna lol
but also what does a while mean? is she passing the one-year rule?
Allie
I mean they're engaged. I'm sure Shane Hollander would not get engaged to someone he has been dating for less than a year
Shay
unless
Cristina
don't even dare to say
Shay
he knocked up his 20 year old gf
🤭
Cristina
I feel so attacked right now
but also agreed. plus I feel like even if they've been dating for like idk 10 months, being engaged means it's not a fling. so I think she should defo be added to the GC
Esther
you just want a new ally who would not make fun of you
Cristina
honestly sometimes I wonder whether my children, my husband or you bitches are the most tiring part of my life
and today is a tie game
Allie
I HAVE A PHONE NUMBER i repeat I HAVE A PHONE NUMBER
Emmie
congrats girl, i have two: one personal, one for work
Emmie
loool
Shay
I am crying
but also yay, Allie, add her!!!!
Anna
do we know her name?
Allie
it's Lily
I'll add her now, but all of you. BEHAVE. I want a Stanley Cup, so we gotta make Hollander happy
and happy fiancee = happy life
Allie added Lily
Allie
Hey, Lily! It's so nice to meet you, welcome to the LA Kings WAG chat! We're super excited to have both you and Shane in town. I am Allie, Zach Brisson's wife.
Cristina
hey girl! my name is Cristina and I am Trevor Smith's wife
Shay
Shay and I am Nate Rodriguez's wife
Anna
Anna - the better half of Jakub Kováč
Emmie
Emmeline, but everyone calls me Emmie. and I am Pierre DuChamps's girlfriend
Esther
and most importantly I am Esther. and who even cares about my fiance
jk it's Aaron Wilson
hello?
so this is... chat for wives and girlfriends? for la kings?
Allie
yeah? do we have the wrong number?
no no
i am very much a wife and girlfriend
favorite girl of Shane Hollander, for sure
Allie
ookay?
are you absolutely sure we have the right person?
you do. i swear you do.
and this is going to be a fun season