Work Text:
You’ve Been on My Mind
Chapter One: Fall(ing)
It’s bizarre, how quick things change. How a tiny slip, a simple time-zone confusion, an errant misconception, leads to an enormous change, a life-altering consequence of a small mistake. And it’s so harsh, so unforgiving, like an unannounced tsunami that drowns her conscience and judgement, coats everything in water and salt and leaves behind destroyed lives and painful memories, and hopefully, leaves also a clean trail for new beginnings.
She takes a test, pees on a seemingly all-knowing plastic stick, and struggles for air when it presents her with a pink-coloured plus sign that changes everything so quickly. It’s not quite certain enough for her, so she seeks out a doctor and takes a blood test, which, after an agonising amount of time, confirms the stick’s news and rends her absolutely stunned.
The air feels different when she steps out of the doctor’s office, heavier, stuffier, enveloping her in weight and heat. It’s not like she didn’t know it could happen, it’s just that she didn’t think it would. She didn’t think the world would take this particular opportunity to play a practical joke, but alas, it has.
The first thing she does is, strangely, call Paris. Naturally, the first thing Paris does when she hears the news is scold her for not taking her birth control pills properly, talk her ear off about how they only work when you make good use of them, and how stupid it was of her to not pay attention to the time changes. After she’s done with her safe sex speech, Paris offers her a million things, from the number of the best OB/GYN in town to Timoteo's and Gabriella’s old baby clothes, comforts her (well, tries to) and gives her a smattering of decent advice.
She gets in Lorelai’s car, the one she borrowed under the pretence of meeting a friend in Hartford for lunch, and drives back to Stars Hollow, her mind racing with alternatives, concerns, lists, and everything else from how to tell her mom to where they’re going to live, which books to buy and how the hell she’s supposed to raise a child when she can’t even get her life together.
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She can’t put it off her mind. Not when she’s working, not during the wedding, not when they eat burgers at Luke’s after the wedding. And so she decides it’s time, her mom needs to know, she needs her to know, because it’s so much, so heavy, and she feels like she desperately needs someone to lean on.
“Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“I’m pregnant.” She says, and the words feel like poison on her tongue. Each letter is a bitter betrayal, telling her she was supposed to be better, she was supposed to know better, but she didn’t.
Lorelai’s face is anything but neutral, her features coiling into a shocked expression, mouth agape, as she drinks in the news and tries, not successfully, to calm her nerves down.
“What?” she finally asks, after the longest ten second silence ever. It’s almost a whisper, like she’s afraid that if she asks questions it will become too real, too tangible, and she won’t be able to handle it.
“I’m pregnant.” Rory repeats “I took a home test and then got it confirmed by a doctor.”
“Whose?” Lorelai blurts, not caring if Rory is going to find the question rude or insensitive.
Rory hesitates for a few seconds before answering. She knows her mom doesn’t approve of her choices. She knows she’s going to be confused, and upset, and maybe even angry, but she hopes, really hopes, that she can find it in her to also be a source of support.
“Jess’” she responds, staring at her hands
“Jess’?” Lorelai half yells, before lowering her voice “When did that happen?”
“I’ve been seeing him on and off for a while.” she answers “It was never serious.”
“Have you told him?”
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She has no idea how he’ll react. She can’t possibly image whether he’s going to be happy or horrified, excited or anxious, if he’ll want to be involved at all. But she knows she ought to tell him, because he deserves to know, regardless of anything, and so she texts him, asks him to meet her for coffee, and hopes for the best.
He’s already there when she walks into Weston’s, sitting alone on a table by the window, fully engrossed in a copy of a Haruki Murakami novel she can’t really recognise.
“Jess,” she says, walking up to the table and taking a seat across from him “I’m sorry, have you been here long?”
“No, not long at all,” he responds, closing his book and placing it on the table “I’m glad I could see you today. I’m going back to Philadelphia in a couple of hours and I didn’t want to leave without saying goodbye.”
“Oh, that’s nice.” she smiles “Listen, Jess, I asked you to meet me because I have to tell you something.” she says, nervously tucking stray strands of hair behind her ears
“Sounds serious.”
“It is, actually.” she says “Jess, I’m pregnant. I got it confirmed a few days ago.” she tells him, measuring her volume so that people around them won’t hear her “It’s yours.”
“Pregnant?”
“You don’t have to be involved if you don’t want to.” she tells him “I know you didn’t expect this. I didn’t either, but I’ve decided to keep it. I want to have this baby.”
“I want to be involved, Rory, of course I want to be involved.” he spits, angrily “Did you really think I wasn’t going to step up and take care of my child?”
“I didn't mean to offend you, I just wanted you to know that you’re not under any obligation to stay. I”m giving you an out.”
“I don’t want it.”
“Fine.” she says
“So,” he breathes “now that we’ve established that we’re going to have a baby. What are we going to do?”
“I have absolutely no idea.”