Chapter Text
The trouble began during Sunday lunch.
This was, historically, how most troubles began.
Every second Sunday of the month, three families gathered at Pond and Phuwin’s house for what everyone called “family lunch,” though it usually became an all-day event involving too much food, too many toys, at least one emotional conversation in the kitchen, and children screaming in the living room like tiny unpaid actors in a disaster film.
Pond and Namtan used to date in college until they realized they’re too gay to be attracted to each other. And then Namtan met Milk and tried to date her, but it didn’t work out. Years later, after finding their LOMLs, they realized why their relationships were bound to fail from the start and instead settled as each other's found family. The Lesbian-Gay alliance that nobody asked for but is here to stay.
There was Pond and Phuwin, with their son Permpoon.
There was Namtan and Film, with their daughter Lunar.
There was Milk and Love, with their daughter Muvmuv.
The children were all seven. Usually, this meant they were old enough to have opinions, young enough to believe glitter and stickers solved structural problems, and dramatic enough to make every minor inconvenience sound like betrayal.
That afternoon, the adults were in the dining area while the children played in the living room.
This was their first mistake.
The living room had become a kingdom.
The couch was decidedly a castle, the coffee table was a mountain, the rug was lava, and the laundry basket was, according to Muvmuv, “a spaceship but also a prison.”
Permpoon wore a paper crown because he’s the self-declared king.
Lunar carried a magic wand as the designated super witch of the east.
Muvmuv had three dinosaur stickers on her cheek and refused to explain why.
Everything seemed normal, until Permpoon marched into the dining area with the seriousness of a child about to make a national announcement.
“Daddy,” he said.
Phuwin looked up from his plate.
“Yes, baby?”
“I have decided.”
Pond immediately straightened. This never sounded good but Pond tried not to panic.
“Oh no.”
Permpoon ignored him.
“I will marry Lunar.”
The table went silent.
Lunar, standing behind him, gasped.
Muvmuv dropped a toy dinosaur.
Namtan blinked.
Film pressed her lips together very tightly, eyes wide like a saucer.
Milk whispered, “Oh my god.”
Love nudged her and whispered, “Don’t laugh.”
Phuwin placed his chopsticks down with the careful grace of a man who had survived many parenting emergencies and recognized a new one forming.
“That’s a big decision, P’Perm” he said.
Permpoon nodded, “I know, Daddy.”
Pond looked delighted and proud, “My son is brave.”
Phuwin kicked him under the table. Pond coughed.
“I mean emotionally expressive,” he said quickly as if that would change things.
Lunar stepped forward, looking confused but more like offended.
“I cannot marry Permpoon.”
Permpoon turned to her, devastated. Phuwin looked at Film for help.
“Why?”
“Because I like Muvmuv.”
Muvmuv gasped louder.
Milk choked on water.
Love covered her face with a napkin.
Namtan went very still, “Oh no.”
Film’s expression softened instantly, “Oh dear.”
Lunar continued, completely unaware she had changed the emotional temperature of the room.
“Muvmuv has sparkly shoes, cute bag that she brings everywhere, and she lets me be the dragon doctor and not just the super witch of the east.”
Muvmuv stood up.
Her dinosaur stickers looked especially solemn, but her eyes were clouded with brevity-- a little too much for a seven-year-old.
“But I cannot marry Lunar.”
Lunar’s face fell and close to crying, “Why?”
Muvmuv pointed at Permpoon.
“Because I like Permpoon.”
Permpoon gasped.
Pond whispered, “Plot twist.”
Phuwin whispered, “Please stop enjoying this, babe.”
Muvmuv crossed her arms, “Permpoon gave me the blue dinosaur sticker last week. That is very meaningful.”
Permpoon looked horrified, “I gave you that because I had two. It didn’t mean anything!”
Muvmuv staggered backward.
“Two?”
Love closed her eyes.
Milk whispered, “The betrayal,” while looking at Pond who immediately raised his two hands in defeat.
Lunar looked at Muvmuv, looking more heartbroken than ever, “So you don’t like me?”
Muvmuv panicked.
“I like you! But like friendship princess, like the super cool super witch and sometimes dragon doctor. I like Permpoon like maybe handholding at school fair and I like being pretty for.”
Permpoon looked at Lunar.
“But I like Lunar like I will share mango and my favorite stuffed toy.”
Lunar pointed at Muvmuv.
“I like Muvmuv like I will give her my best glitter pen.”
Muvmuv gasped distractedly, “Glitter…”
Pond whispered, “This is serious.”
Phuwin gave him another look.
Namtan stood slowly.
“Okay,” she said gently. “Everyone breathe.”
The three children inhaled and exhaled dramatically.
Then all spoke at once.
“I can still marry Lunar if Muvmuv says no--"
“I don’t know if I like marry, I just like Muvmuv’s face--”
“The blue dinosaur sticker was not special?”
The adults stared at each other.
Pond raised his hand to remedy the situation like the big dad that he was, “I have a suggestion.”
Phuwin said, “Please, babe, no.”
“You don’t know yet what it is.”
“I know you, Pond.”
Pond lowered his hand in defeat. He would always lose for his husband.
Namtan looked at Milk and shrugged, “Look at what I had to deal with for years!” which made Milk snicker. Film, being the mature one, stood and walked to Lunar.
“Come here, moonbeam.”
Lunar immediately went into her arms, still frowning.
“Mommy,” Lunar sniffed, “Is it bad?”
Taking both her chubby arms, Film knelt in front of her and asked, “What is bad, baby?”
“That I like Muvmuv.”
Namtan’s face changed.
So did Phuwin’s.
So did everyone’s.
The room softened around Lunar. Muvmuv and Permpoon looked confused but kept quiet as they waited for Film’s response.
Film squeezed Lunar’s small hands, “No, sweetheart. It’s not bad. It’ll never be bad.”
Lunar blinked, “Really?” Film nodded.
“Even if Muvmuv is a girl?”
Namtan knelt beside Film, eyes already shining and lips trembling.
“Especially not bad.”
Lunar looked between her mothers.
“But I’m a girl.”
Film smiled, “Yes, you are, moonbeam.”
“And Muvmuv is a girl.”
“Yes,” Namtan nodded.
“And I like her smile.”
Namtan laughed softly, crying now.
“Oh dear, that is a very sweet thing to like.”
Lunar frowned, “If it’s sweet, then why are you crying?”
“Because I love you,” Namtan said a little too quickly that it sounded more defensive that she intended.
“That is a weird reason.”
Film laughed through her own tears and agreed with her child.
“It often is.”
Pond sniffed.
Phuwin looked at him.
“Are you crying?”
“No,” Pond hiccupped.
“You are.”
“My broccoli is emotional.” Phuwin just shook his head at his husband’s silliness.
Milk leaned toward Love and whispered, “We are surrounded by criers.”
Love whispered back, “Look who’s talking,” she pointed at her wife. “You cried when Muvmuv learned to say butterfly.”
“That was different. She said butter-fly like it was two separate legal entities.”
Meanwhile, Lunar looked relieved.
“So I can like girls?”
Film kissed her knuckles and nodded.
“Of course, you can. You can like whoever your heart likes, as long as they are kind to you and you are kind to them.”
Lunar thought about this.
Then turned to Muvmuv.
“Muvmuv, I like you.”
Muvmuv looked deeply stressed.
“Thank you, I guess.”
Permpoon raised his hand.
“I still like Lunar.”
Phuwin sighed and scooped up his son, “Okay, little bear.”
Muvmuv raised both hands.
“And I still like Permpoon.”
Pond nodded solemnly and added, “The triangle remains.”
Phuwin whispered with a warning, “Pond.”
“What? It is geometrically accurate,” Pond shrugged.
The children looked at each other.
Then Lunar said, “Can we still play spaceship prison?”
Muvmuv considered this, “Yes.”
Permpoon said, “Can I still be king?”
Lunar and Muvmuv said, “No,” at the same time.
Permpoon looked offended so Muvmuv handed him the laundry basket.
“You can be the honorary prisoner in our spaceship, P’Perm.”
Permpoon thought about it and realized he’s okay with it, “Okay.”
Then all three ran back to the living room.
The adults sat in silence and could not believe what has just transpired.
Then Pond said, “So that went well, I guess.”
Everyone stared at him. Pond smiled weakly.
“Medium well?” He joked to lighten the tension in their kitchen.
Phuwin stood suddenly, “I need coffee.”
Namtan wiped her face. “Right. I need tissues.” And started opening the kitchen cabinets looking for tissues.
Milk leaned against her chair, looking deflated and a little bit lost.
“I need to understand whether my child is engaged by dinosaur sticker.”
Love patted her hand, “Don’t worry, love. We’ll ask a lawyer.”