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Obi-Wan watched Satine finish cooking something in the motel they were temporarily staying at. They had learned to trust each other more after the venom-mite incident and have been arguing less, which Qui-Gon was very much thankful for.
“Do you want me to set the table?” Obi-Wan asked. Satine briefly glanced at him and nodded while she was bringing a pot to the table.
Obi-Wan started grabbing plates while Satine got the silverware. “What did you make anyway?” Obi-Wan was curious about what Satine made as Satine couldn’t cook at all, so it’s a miracle that she successfully cooked for once. “It’s apoy, it’s the only thing I learned how to cook.” “That explains why the room isn’t in flames.” Obi-Wan teased.
Satine rolled her eyes as they put the plates and silverware down. Obi-Wan was nervous to eat to be honest, not because of Satine’s ability to cook though. He had heard of apoy before and from his knowledge, it was a spicy Mandalorian dish, and he had never told Satine about his inability to eat spicy foods.
But as Obi-Wan looked at Satine, her eyes were bright and excited for him to try some, and he didn’t want to risk disappointing her. Qui-Gon entered the room after going out on a walk and he sat down after greeting them.
“What did you make this time?” Qui-Gon asked Obi-Wan, assuming that he had made the food. “It’s apoy and Satine made it.” Obi-Wan explained. “Really?” Qui-Gon turned his gaze toward Satine with surprise etched on his face.
“Isn’t apoy a spicy dish?” Qui-Gon looked back at Obi-Wan, who quickly sent a message over their bond that it’s fine. “Yes, it is.” Obi-Wan answered, careful with his tone to make sure Satine doesn’t catch on that he can’t eat spicy foods.
“Is there a problem?” Satine asked with a confused look. “No, I just wanted to double check with Obi-Wan.” Qui-Gon answered as Obi-Wan sent a note of thanks over their bond.
They all started eating and Qui-Gon talked with Satine while Obi-Wan focused on trying not to sweat while eating. He did try to add things to the conversation to not draw suspicion, but it all just felt like white noise to Obi-Wan compared to the burning in his mouth. But Obi-Wan did have to admit, it tasted awesome and it was worth the burning sensation in his mouth.
He would absolutely eat this again if he got to, not just because it tasted awesome, but because he had never seen Satine this happy and relaxed. For some reason, he felt hot, and this time it wasn’t because of the apoy.
Obi-Wan watched Satine laugh with Qui-Gon and felt joy rush through him. He thought about their arguments and even though they were absolutely pissed with each other in the moment, now that Obi-Wan looked back, he admired Satine’s determination and how wise and clever she was. He cherished all of his moments with her and kept them close to his heart.
The memories of making Satine laugh and smile were some of his favorites, and thinking about those, he didn’t feel the burn of the apoy. He didn’t even know why he felt this way or even what it was; he just adored Satine and every part of her, her stubbornness, her wit, her determination, he cared about every part of her.
Wait.
Oh
Oh.
Obi-Wan loved Satine.
Obi-Wan looked back at his plate to find it empty. When did that happen? He looked back at Satine to find her still talking with Qui-Gon, even though their plates were empty. Obi-Wan got up and grabbed their plates and started washing the dishes.
He started getting lost in his thoughts. He couldn’t love Satine, that was against the Jedi Code! Obi-Wan had been trying so hard to prove that he could be the perfect Jedi so they could accept him after his Melida/Daan stunt.
No matter how hard he tried, he could never be the perfect Jedi, never be good enough. Maybe the Jedi have always known this, and that’s why none of them took him as their padawan. He was always going to be a failure. Maybe he should have been killed instead of Cerasi.
Obi-Wan heard Satine’s voice in his mind saying that he wasn’t a failure. He remembered her saying that he didn’t deserve it. He remembered how honest she felt in the force. Maybe he isn’t worthless.
Before he knew it, all of the dishes were cleaned and Obi-Wan started getting stomach pains, a result of eating spicy food. He quickly went to the bathroom and threw up his entire dinner.
Still worth it.
“Ben?”
Obi-Wan turned his head to look at Satine. Kriff. He forgot to lock the door.
“Are you alright?” Obi-Wan felt Satine’s concern in the force. “I’m fine, it’s just-” Obi-Wan sighed. “I get a bit sick after eating spicy food.”
Satine looked at him apologetically with her shining blue eyes. Kriff, why did she have to be so beautiful? “Why didn’t you tell me, Ben?” Satine asked earnestly, which she almost always was when she was talking to Obi-Wan.
Obi-Wan smiled. “You looked so proud and happy. And the food still tasted great.” “You really think so?” She asked gently. Force, even her voice is beautiful. “Of course I do.”
Satine suddenly brightened up as if she had an idea. “How about this? I’ll help you build up your spice resistance if you promise to never hide your thoughts from me again, just be open with me.”
Obi-Wan thought about it for a moment. He had never been truly open with anyone before, but he trusted Satine. He trusted her with the Bandomeer and Melida/Daan incident, he’ll always trust her. But could he tell her that he loved her? What if she didn’t feel the same way?
“I’m going to be honest here, Satine, I don’t really know how to truly be open. It’s like I’ve had these sort of… walls up for so long, I don’t know how to take them down.” Obi-Wan confessed.
Satine looked at him kindly. “Ben, I’m not asking you to take them all down at once, I’m willing to be patient, I just want to help you. If there are some things you’re uncomfortable about telling me, you don’t have to tell me, I can wait until you’re ready, and it’s fine if you’re never ready, I just want you to be open with me.”
Obi-Wan felt her presence in the force, feeling nothing but truth.
“I promise.”