Chapter Text
바이퍼 Viper uploaded:
Emergency Press Conference! Addressing the Rumors! ft. BLG and Nongshim RedForce
{TRANSCRIPT:
The video starts with a flash of news sites and social media posts while dramatic music plays in the background.
A grainy video is the main focus amid the chaos: Viper and Lehends stand opposite each other on a crowded street—both wear loungewear. Lehends walks closer to Viper as a pedestrian passes in front of the camera seconds later. The original poster quickly zooms in. The ending shot of the video shows Lehends’s arms extended toward Viper’s shoulders while a passing pedestrian covers most of their face and lower body. Only their eyes are visible; it is clear they are staring at each other. The two men are close enough that Viper could put his head on top of Lehends’.
This frame is focused on as a bold heading appears on the bottom of the screen:
[ 바이퍼 NEWS: VIPER ♡ LEHENDS Dating Rumors]
BILIBILI GAMING’s VIPER and NONGSHIM REDFORCE’s LEHENDS are spotted looking romantic on a Daejeon street in an intimate embrace?
Comments from social media flew onto the screen:
“응원합니다.”
“Is this real?”
“我的天啊!”
[The Viper team couldn't miss this fun content]
The video transitions to a typical grey office meeting room. Viper and Lehends are sitting leisurely in front of the TV screen, which is displaying a hastily made PowerPoint titled 긴급 기자회견 and 紧急新闻发布会 (emergency press conference). The slide is also accompanied by two siren PNGs, news mics clipart, and an aggravating neon blue-red background. The BLG and Nongshim Redforce producers sit next to the two players, faces blurred.
VIPER: Wow, we’re really living that good celeb life now.
LEHENDS: Finally! Something exciting that isn’t lol related!
The four at the table burst out laughing.
NONGSHIM PRODUCER: You two must have gotten a lot of texts.
VIPER/LEHENDS: Not really.
The two players look disappointed. The producers burst out laughing again.
LEHENDS: The only people who messaged us were the GRIFFIN members in our group chat. Jinheyok sent the photo and said, "Oh ho, what’s this? Congratulations, invite us to the wedding ㅋㅋㅋ," while Hyeonjoon said, "This is ChatGPT". Seungyong actually called me to ask if I had brain damage from old age. He begged me to get my head checked out! Ha!
BLG PRODUCER: What was your teammates’ reaction?
LEHENDS: Daeguen called me ‘The Unkillable PR King’ at breakfast yesterday.
VIPER: They don’t really care, to be honest. My agent and the BLG staff were more concerned.
LEHENDS: And that was it lol.
[And so we prepared this]
The camera turns to the rest of the Nongshim RedForce and BLG players entering the meeting room. Everyone is wearing loungewear or pajamas while the atmosphere is filled with amusement. Two translation screens are also rolled into the room by staff.
SCOUT: It wasn’t easy dragging my feet here, you know. I don’t know why, but I got a lot of texts too.
LEHENDS: Wait, really?!
The room bursts into laughter.
[Scout, the unexpected victim]
SCOUT: Like, “Is this real?”, “Yechan, are you okay?”
Scout switches to Chinese, playfully glaring at Viper.
SCOUT: And Xuanjun said, “You lost to Daoxian of all people??"
VIPER: Oh my.
LEHENDS: Ahhh, it seems I need to make an apology
Lehends and Viper chaotically crawl up onto the table. Placing their hands on their knees, they suddenly look very polite. The rest of their teammates cannot stop laughing.
LEHENDS/VIPER: Because of the unexpected video that was taken of us, if we have made anyone feel uncomfortable, we are truly sorry.
[Emergency Apology in Perfect Sync]
VIPER: We hope this episode will clear up the misunderstanding and everyone can watch with a laugh. Thank you.
[Main Point]
LEHENDS: Oh, we really need to clarify things today. Because of that video, when I went to get ramen for lunch, the staff member said—
Lehends mimicked a whisper of a young woman’s gossipy sweet tone.
LEHENDS: — “Congratulations, Lehends seonsu!” And I was like, “Eh, ehgh.”
VIPER: Wait, same, do you know what my makeup artist told me today? “When did you guys secretly meet up?”
The room fills with giggles as multiple teammates yell in shock.
VIPER: So, this press conference was really necessary.
The scene transitions to a black backdrop with bold white letters:
[Let the clarification begin]
The photo in question was blown up onto the screen.
[Suspicion #1: Why was LEHENDS in Daejeon?]
VIPER: Like two or three days after Paris, Seungyong hyung texted the group chat to meet up for lunch. Everyone knows how rare it is for all six of us to be in Korea at one time and on break, so we all made plans. But, uh…
LEHENDS: This idiot forgot about it and missed his train to Seoul! I was already over there because I wanted to get Sungshimdang cake for everyone, then meet up later. So Seungyong texts me and is like, “Hey, that stupid airhead missed his train. Can you meet up with him in Daejeon while me, Hoonie, and Joonie pick up Jinhyeok from Ilsan?”
VIPER: Oh shit, really?! I totally forgot you were coming to get me.
LEHENDS: …No wonder you were giving me that “Why are you here?” look when I went to your apartment!
Viper stares at Lehends with pleading eyes.
VIPER: Sorryyyyy hyunnngggg....
LEHENDS: How in the world are you 25?
[Suspicion #2: Why on the street?]
VIPER: Sunshimdang is busy 24/7. We exited the building, and the streets were packed with people waiting in line and just passing. But we still had to wait for Seungyong hyung to pick us up! So, we stood by a lamppost to get out of the way.
LEHENDS: Look here, gentlemen!
Viper and Lehends both point their fingers at a tall grey blob next to the pair in the photo.
LEHENDS: See folks, there is absolutely nothing wrong about us trying not to get run over by a stampede of bread-hungry people.
[Suspicion #3: Why so close to each other?]
LEHENDS: It’s a bit…it looks a little malicious on purpose in this photo.
VIPER: And this pedestrian in front is blocking us perfectly too!
Viper draws circles around the stranger’s head with his finger.
LEHENDS: Right! Making us look like the two of us were really close together and—
Lehends makes a kissing gesture with his hands.
LEHENDS: —were doing this to each other. Seriously!
ON looks toward the camera with a wry smile.
[Suspicious]
VIPER: But the clue to this photo is in these two things. Exhibit A!
A staff member brings out the T-shirt Viper was wearing in the photo. Lehends and Viper point at the collar where a long flyaway thread is visible.
LEHENDS: Everyone see this right here? That’s a stray thread. We were waiting at the lamppost. I had Seungyong on call while I was talking to Dohyeon. It was all very hectic since a lot of people were walking around us; I couldn't hear what he was saying to me. So I stepped closer to Dohyeon, and I saw this thread. You all know my personality; being the kind and helpful hyung I am—
The camera focuses on the Nongshim Redforce members, who jokingly shake their heads.
LEHENDS: —“Oh! Dohyeon ah, there’s a thread, let me get that for you!”
Viper and Lehends stand up and face each other. Lehends steps in closer, then slams his hand down on Viper’s shoulder. They look back at their audience with big grins.
VIPER: Now, everyone, focus. This happened seconds later.
LEHENDS: Seonghoon, come up here on my right, but be a few steps behind. We’re gonna do a reenactment.
Kingen stands behind Lehends in confusion.
VIPER: Okay, now walk up and bump Siwoo hyung by the shoulder.
Kingen does as he is told, lightly squeezing past Lehends.
LEHENDS: WOW I’M TRIPPING!
Lehends falls forward but balances himself by placing his other hand on Viper’s shoulder.
Their teammates let out an “ohhhh” of revelation.
VIPER: If that pedestrian walked in front of the camera five seconds later, I would have been caught saying, “Are you okay?”
SCOUT: But why does it look like your arms are wrapped around his neck?
LEHENDS: Okay! Point four!
The room fills with laughter again.
[How long is this explanation?]
Viper points at Lehends’ hand on his shoulder.
VIPER: Because this picture was taken from a distance and the person blocked the camera, it’s hard to tell if Siwoo hyung’s hand was near my collarbone or my neck. The only thing visible was an arm extending up.
LEHENDS: OH! Also, ALSO! Dohyeon, rotate!
They shuffle to show their hidden side view.
LEHENDS: For my hand on the other side if you zoom in a bit more…
The picture is blown up to show a black blob partially hidden by the side view of the players.
LEHENDS: But look at this new angle! That is not my hand! That is my phone! I was still on call with Seungyongie when I tripped!
Lehends grabs his phone and places his hand back on Viper’s other shoulder. The pair rotates back into the opposite side view; it does give the illusion that Lehends is holding on to Viper’s neck rather than his phone. Viper turns to the camera with a satisfied expression.
[The secret behind the angle, finally revealed?!]
VIPER: Guys, this is it. This is all there is to it. We were not kissing.
[A ChoBonus]
LEHENDS: Oh my god, hahaha, I just remembered that Jihoon was next to us while the video nonsense was going on. He had walked up to take us to where Seungyong’s car was parked. He texted me this morning saying, “Why was I cut out 🙁”.
The photo zoomed out to show Chovy behind the lamppost, walking toward Viper and Lehends.
[The original actually looked like this…]
VIPER: Ahhh, he got cut out today too!
[What a shame]
LEHENDS: So Jihoonie said, “I have a selfie with all three of us, should I post it?” I told him, “Just stay still.”
VIPER: Very correct.
LEHENDS: For juicy gossip, stay quiet—and clear it up on the Viper YouTube channel!
VIPER: Wow, we’re so committed to content…
SCOUT: Didn’t you call us yesterday to come in?
Viper turns to the staff.
VIPER: Did the news break yesterday?
LEHENDS: Yeah, yesterday… lol
Everyone was in shock.
[A commotion that happened in just one day...]
VIPER: This all happened yesterday, and we gathered so suddenly today because of this, haha.
VIPER: It was really fun, and thanks to the reporters who wrote about it…lol
LEHENDS: Thank you, reporters; we got a fun episode out of it!
VIPER: And thank you to the staff for today’s location on such short notice… even the staff is still in their pajamas, so sorry…
[This evil host!]
VIPER: But we only have three days to edit and upload it. If we’re doing it, we have to do it fast and upload.
LEHENDS: Aish, this kid kept saying, “I’m really sorry, but—don’t feel pressured at all. You don’t have to…but are you able to come to China tomorrow? Maybe with your whole team?”
Viper hides his face behind his hands, laughing.
LEHENDS: “If not tomorrow, how about the day after?!”
[Content Monster Viper]
LEHENDS: Well, we hope everyone had fun.
VIPER: Our 1st emergency press conference will conclude here. Thank you!
Viper and Lehends bow for the camera as their teammates and staff clap. }
Comments 974
laogongenjoyer9
this being the first official nongshim/blg collab is frying me
👍👎
siuuuuuuu:3
me when I lie:
👍👎
봉봉봉
might just be me but did anyone notice that they never said they werent dating???? only that they didnt kiss???
👍👎