Work Text:
She still smelled like soot and smoke; it didn’t matter how many times she had showered, the smell didn’t want to leave her skin or her hair. Maya closed her eyes, and she rolled her shoulders, a hand rested against the door to her locker. She knew what was coming, she didn’t pay attention to who left. She could feel how both the silence and the tension grew in the locker room with each person that left, in the end it was just Maya herself and Carina that was left. It wasn’t just the locker room that had tension in the air, Maya’s whole body was tense, frustration was building because Carina didn’t say anything.
Maya slammed the door to her locker, it was the only sound that could be heard, and it was gone in just a second. “Say something,” she said, eyes locked on Carina, the towel was wrapped around her, her heart beating fast, and there wasn’t anything Maya could do besides waiting.
But Carina didn’t speak, she didn’t say one word. Her eyes looked up for a second, her gaze settled on Maya’s lips for a moment, she could see Maya’s lips moving, but she didn’t hear anything. Carina was sure that there would be excuse after excuse leaving Maya’s lips and she didn’t want excuses, she wanted the truth.
Maya had seen the gaze, and she knew where Carina had looked, maybe everything wasn’t lost, there might still be a chance. Because that small gaze was an answer, it might not be enough of an answer but it was enough to keep a small flame burning, and as long as there was something that could grow bigger if it got oxygen and some kind of material a small flame could grow into a bigger fire. “Talk to me. You have to talk to me.” Maya’s voice raised and she moved closer to Carina, “just talk to me…” her voice turned into a whisper, “please.”
“Maya, I know what your job is,” Carina said, “you are running into fires when people run away from it.” She closed her eyes, she felt the tears burning behind her eyelids. She knew that if she opened her eyes, tears would fall, and she didn’t want to cry, not now, not ever. “You run to danger, and all I can do is wait because you don’t think.” She threw her hands up in the air, and she began to pace the room, words in italian left her lips.
Italian, maybe it was a lot worse than Maya had thought it was, normally she could keep up with part of what Carina was saying, not this time, she could catch a word here and there but she didn’t understand what it was. She had heard, bambina, she knew that word, danger, running, idiot, and possibly selfish and selfless, she didn’t understand why both those words would be used.
“Carina, please,” Maya took a few steps closer to Carina, and she reached for her arm and she somehow managed to catch her hand, and the pacing stopped, she moved Carina’s hand to her chest and placed it over her heart. “I’m not going anywhere,” she pressed her hand over Carina’s, and she used her other arm to wrap it around Carina and pulled her closer, holding her.
“You smell like fire,” Carina whispered, her nose buried in Maya’s hair and she breathed the scent that was uniquely Maya, a combination of fire, soot, smoke, and her shampoo. The soot and smoke wasn’t as poignant as it had been when they had first gotten back from the fire.
“I know,” Maya replied, her fingers ran through Carina’s hair, she pressed her lips against the side of Carina’s head, "It's the hair,” she added, “and you know it take a day or so before it’s really gone.”
“Yes,” Carina whispered, her free hand held on to Maya. “Why do you always run into the fires without thinking?”
“I couldn’t just leave them there,” she said, “it was a reaction to when I found out that there was still a kid inside.” Maya closed her eyes, she took a deep breath, she pressed her lips together, she searched for more words, “I just reacted, I didn’t really think all I knew was that I needed to get that kid out.” She combed her fingers through Carina’s hair, “and I could just think about what I would want a firefighter to do if it was our kid that was trapped alone in a burning building not being able to get out.”
“I understand, bambina, I do,” Carina said, and she slowly pulled back so she could look at Maya, and see the look on Maya’s face, it would give her a chance to understand and see if Maya actually meant what she said. “But you need to think, because if you don’t get out yourself, our bambino would have to grow up without his mother.”
“I promise, I’ll do better,” Maya whispered, she pulled back, and she cupped both of Carina’s cheeks with her hands and she pulled Carina in for a kiss, her lips brushed against Carina’s a couple of times. “I love you and I’ll do anything and everything to come home to you after every shift.” Maya used her thumb to brush tears away from Carina’s cheeks.
Carina pressed her forehead against Maya’s, their breaths mixed as she whispered what she wanted Maya to hear, and it was something that was just for the two of them, and she captured Maya’s lips with her own, “let’s go home,” she whispered against Maya’s lips. Carina felt Maya’s arms around her, and she swiped her tongue along Maya’s lower lip, she took the chance to deepen the kiss when Maya let out a small moan.
It was this moment Maya knew that it would be okay in the end. She just had to allow Carina to be scared, and let her get her feelings out, and Maya had to understand that Carina would always be scared when Maya left for a shift. She had made a promise, and she was going to make sure that she kept the promise, she would always do anything in her power to come back to her after a shift.