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The sound of chatter blurs around him, his chest rising and falling and rapid speeds and he knows that he needs to calm it down, but the buzzing under his skin refuses to go away and he can’t focus on anything else. He lets out a groan, pulling at the restraints that hold him down as the sounds get closer.
“–feeling great?! I know I did–” the voice gets close enough to hear, but only for a moment. Horrid laughter fills his water-filled ears. Why are his eyes filled with water? The rest of him feels dry, but he lost feeling in most of his body long ago. Maybe the tingly feeling is water? He doesn’t think so, but he doesn’t think he’s very smart right now. He was dumb enough to get captured, after all.
He pauses. He got captured? He peels his eyes open, light flashing in them as the world turns from blurry to clear and he tries to focus on his surroundings. Catalogue the room, his Robin training yells at him. Who’s Robin? He doesn’t remember a Robin, but maybe his dad just hasn’t told him about that yet. Dad likes to be secretive sometimes. Mama tells him more though, stories of her and Dad before he came along. He thinks he ruined their lives when he was born. Why does he think that? Mama only shows him love and Dad… Dad says that he is his mini-him, and he says so proudly. Why does he remember a different life, a one that escapes him if he thinks too hard, falling behind memories of Mama and Dad taking him to the circus and the amusement park.
He looks around the stark white room, the sound of beeping faintly registering in his mind through muffled ears. Dad stands above him, a wide grin painted on his lips as he giggles giddily.
“Wakey Wakey, little Junior,” Dad claps, his ears only barely being able to hear the action. He closes his eyes again in an act of disobedience.
“No, no, young–” Dad’s voice is too far away for him to hear. Junior? Is that his name? No, he has a different name… he tries to think of it, but it escapes him. Junior, JJ… something else, something bad. He doesn’t like his other name. Maybe that’s why he can’t remember it? He doesn’t know, but he thinks that Dad wants him to be Junior, so that’s what he’ll be. Mama calls him JJ though, and he likes that more. He can’t remember why.
He shifts on the table– bed?– and his arm moves to his stomach. When did Dad let him go? He pushes himself up, wriggling his toes as he tries to get feeling to return to them, but his limbs remain uncomfortably tingly. His dad’s laugh faintly reaches his ears.
“Oh, Junior, you’re–” Dad’s voice cuts out, and an amused laugh follows, Dad clearly finding joy in his attempt to stand. Dad walks towards the door, holding it open for him. Mama stands outside, and Junior smiles.
“Hi–” Mama cuts out, but Junior is used to that. Mama’s voice always gets quieter the more she speaks, as if she’s boisterous when she starts, but she gets more nervous (or maybe shy?) as she trails on. Dad happily giggles. Dad whispers something to Mama, way too low for Junior to catch, but he does see Mama’s nervous smile and her shaky nod when she turns to him.
“Go- dad- moment-” Mama sounds like she’s trying to speak loudly, but it’s too uneven for Junior to catch. He thinks that she said to go with Dad, though, ‘just for a moment, you’ll be okay’ was the end, Junior reads her lips. He nods, stumbling towards Dad, who laughs and begins wandering down the hallway. Mama signals to him to follow Dad, so he uses the wall as a guide and to keep him upright. Dad doesn’t look back, trusting Junior to follow him like the good son he is.
(Is he a good son? He remembers breaking a lot of rules, but he forgets it all if he thinks too hard about it, so he decides that he is a good son.)
Dad opens another door, showing him to another white room, but this time there’s a large table standing upright in the middle of it, wires tangled on the floor and something in the back of Junior’s mind tells him that this room is bad, but Dad is smiling wide and he looks so welcoming as he gestures to the table and Junior is starved for praise so he places his back against the long, white board and beams when Dad tells him that he’s doing good– or, at least he thinks that’s what Dad said, but his ears are muffled again– even as Dad tightens the straps that peek around the table and hooks wires on Junior’s head and chest and arms.
Dad smiles as he presses some buttons on the machine that sits on the dirtied floor, and Junior can only frown before electricity storms his body, his back arching in a painfully before he blacks out.
~~~
The next time he wakes up, he opens his eyes almost immediately, pain coursing through his body. Mama looks down at him, worry coating her pretty features. Junior frowns.
“Why’re ‘ou sad?” He mumbles, reaching s tired hand up to her face, despite how much it pains him to do. Mama gasps.
“You almost killed him!” Mama yells, looking up at Dad and finally talking loud enough for Junior to hear. Dad merely giggles in response.
“But I didn’t! Look at him, Harls, he’s perfectly fine!” Dad points a hand at Junior, who’s eyebrows furrow in confusion. Junior feels as he always does after Dad and him have their afternoon ‘daddy-son dates’, as Dad calls them, together. Junior shakes his head.
“‘M okay, Mama.” Junior slurs out, his mouth being uncooperative with his brain. Junior frowns again and touches his lips, the contact making them tingle enough for him to shiver. Mama looks down at Junior, desperation lacing her gasp. She looks horrified, the longer she looks at him, nearly movingJunior to tears from the thought of his mama not wanting to look at him.
“You look awful, JJ, you’re not okay!” She exclaims, and her words cause Junior to have tears roll down his face, distraught.
“I’m sorry, Mama, I’m sorry, please don’t leave me!” Junior cries, clutching the fabric that sits on her shoulders with a tight grasp. Mama shakes her head.
“It’s– sweet boy–. I won’t– promise,” Mama says, her voice cutting in and out the way it usually does. Junior wishes that he could hear everything she says, since he thinks that he sees Dad’s name on her lips. Dad laughs again (he does that a lot, but Junior thinks that it’s because it’s part of his ‘brand’, as he says, but also because he’s laughed so long thay he can’t stop. He tries to get Junior like that, but he can’t laugh as well as Dad, so he gets mad when Junior doesn’t laugh right. Junior frowns a lot, but Dad doesn’t like that either, so Junior tries not to do anything).
“He said he’s fine, didn’t you hear, Harls?!” Dad opens his arms like a ringmaster does when presenting their circus; dramatically.
“He looks sickly! You can’t keep doing this!” Mama shouts, Junior, not used to the volume, flinches away, and Mama looks like she apologizes, but she talks too quietly for Junior to catch.
“You look just as sickly as him.” Dad states, not loudly, but enough for Junior to just-barely catch. Mama flinches before clenching her jaw, anger filling her eyes. Junior frowns, fear overtaking him at the thought of what Mama might do to them. Mama is scary when she’s angry, Junior doesn’t want her to be mad. The last thing he hears before blacking out is the sound of the machine powering back up and his mama’s screams.
~~~
He drifts in and out of conciousness, the feeling of arms digging in to his back waking him up enough to process what’s being said.
“Help!” Someone screams. Is that his Mama? She said she wouldn’t leave Junior, but maybe she did? It doesn’t sound like Mama, she doesn’t get scared, and this person sounds scared, but the touch is familiar and warm like Mama’s is and the voice sounds right. Maybe Mama has a twin that she never tood Junior about. That doesn’t sound likely, but it’s the only thing that makes sense, so Junior accepts it before drifiting off to the sound of a low, gravelly voice.
~~~
He wakes up to Mama’s voice once more, the smell of much cleaner walls filling his nostrils as he wonders where he is. It doesn’t feel or smell like Dad’s house, but his nose never really worked anyways.
“He used electroconvulsive therapy to convince him that’s he’s our son.” Mama explains, and Junior wonders who she’s talking about. Does Junior have a sibling? He sure hopes so, he always wanted one, even if this one isn’t really his. The gravelly voice from before says something. Before? What happened before? Junior doesn’t remember, falling into the pleasent, floaty feeling in his head. “He doesn’t remember anything from before he took him.” Mama says as Junior drifts back off.
~~~
Junior gasps, pushing himself up from the bed, or, at least, trying to, his arms giving out halfway through and he falls back on the the bed (bed? He doesn’t remember being on a bed, just a table). His eyes open, glancing around the room. He spots a flaw in the shadows of the corner of the room, but he thinks that it's just his mind playing tricks on him. His mind seems to do that a lot. The next thing he spots is his favorite person.
“Mama!” he cries, reaching out to her, despite how much it hurts. The shadow in the corner of the room stiffens, but Junior doesn’t pay any attention to that. All that matters is that his mama is still there. Mama sniffles, reaching out to him and saying something that Junior can’t hear. “Can’t hear.” He tries to explain, words feeling too bug for his mouth. Mama’s eyebrows furrow. Not Mama, why isn’t that his mama? His eyebrows move to match hers. He thought that she’s his mama, but isn’t the shadow his dad? No, the shadow hates Mama, but if she’s not his mama then who is?
His breathing starts to speed up, his body finally giving out after so much stress. His breaths turn erratic and Mama’s worry turns to panic, speaking rapidly to the shadow, frustration evident in her gaze. Even if she isn’t his real mama, he doesn’t rember her name.
The shadow speaks. Junior tries to listen in, but the voice is too deep for his brain to process, even if he can hear the words. Junior cries, not worried about getting in trouble since he doesn’t see Dad here.
“JJ!” Mama exclaims, finally loud enough for Junior to hear. His tears slow, the sound of Mama’s voice calming him down the way that it always did back when Dad was here. Mama turns to the shadow. “He is JJ, he wouldn’t know if I called him his real name.” She says, purposely talking loud enough for him to hear. “–made sure of that,” her voice is quieter, but Junior catches the tail end of her sentance. The shadow speaks once more, coming closer to the two, revealing a familair suit. Junior furrows his brows again.
“Dad doesn’t like you.” Junior states, not knowing why he said that or who the man is, just that his dad doesn’t like the shadow man. The shadow chokes, his hands resting on his chest as he glances at Mama. She looks at him, curious, as the man removes the mask. Mama purses her lips, but Junior continues ti stare at the man as he comes closer to the bed that Junior is laying on.
“Tim, please remember me, I’m sorry I–” Mama cuts the man off when Junior looks up at her, confused.
“I told you, he doesn’t know who you are, you’re scaring him,” her voice is firm when she talks to him. Junior sniffles once more.
“Wanna go home.” He states tiredly. Mama looks at him.
“I know, honey. Go back to sleep, you’ll remember more when you wake up.” Mama tells him, running her fingers through his hair in a comforting manner, Junior following Mama’s directions and drifting off to sleep.
~~~
Junior (that’s not his name… he still can’t remember it, though. The shadow said it, but Mama got mad, so that means it isn’t his name, right?) rises slowly, and far more peaceful, than every time previous. He slowly blinks awake, the room near silent, but he thinks that he can hear a steady beeping and his Mama singing.
He blinks open his eyes, the room a lot less bright than before. The shadow is still in the room, but this time he’s in normal clothes and acompanied by a much younger man that Junior think’s he’s supposed to know, but he can’t seem to name. Mama is still there, and this time, he knows that Mama’s name is Harley, but it feels wrong to call her that. He giggles.
“Mama,” he says, a smile on his face. Mama looks relieved, letting out a sigh and laying a hand on his head affectionately. Junior leans in to the touch. When he looks at the shadow and the young man, the latter looks pale, like he saw a ghost, and the former looks sad. Junior doesn’t know why, but he doesn’t think that he’s supposed to care. Joker always told him that making the shadow sad was good. Even if Joker isnt his dad anymore (was he ever?), he still listens to the man because he doesn’t know any different. He thinks he does, but he doesn’t remember… that seems to happen a lot.
The younger man looks between him and Mama wearily, as if nervous about what they might do, which Junior finds silly because he isnt in any place to do anything other than rest in bed. The man says something to the shadow-man in a volume that Junior can’t hear, so he turns to Mama to frown. Mama just looks concerned as she says something he can’t hear, but Junior thinks that she’s asking if he can hear her. Junior grunts, frustrated. He already told her that he can’t hear!
“Can’t hear,” he repeats, annoyed. He must’ve said it loud, though, since he could hear it and the two strangers stop talking. Junior furrows his brows. “Mama, who is that?” He tries to whisper, lifting a shakey hand to point at the two men. He doesn’t think he succeeds, though, since the men get a pained look and he can still hear himself. Mama smiles, but its more strained than before.
“They’re your family! You just don’t remember them because of what Joker did.” She laughs nervously, her words loud but still just barely registering in Junior’s ears. He whines.
“Wanna hear…” he trails off. Mama nods pityingly.
“I know,” she says too quietly to hear, but she accentuates her mouth in order to make it easier for Junior to lip read. Junior huffs but accept that he won’t be able to, instead turning his gaze to look at the strange men that are supposedly his family.
~~~
Junior– no, Tim, that’s what the shadow– Bruce– told him that his name was (is?)– sits in the lobby of an audiologist, Bruce on his left and Harley– because she isn’t his mama (or thats what Bruce tells him, showing him photos of a lady names Janet who’s supposedly his ‘real’ mother, but Junior doesn’t know her. He stopped calling Harley ‘mama’ though, since Bruce and Dick– the younger man– always look like they’re on the verge of tears whenever he does call her mama)– on his right side.
His leg bounces up and down with anxiety, waiting for his name to be called by the nice receptionist lady.
They stay sitting on the hard, wooden chairs for nearly an hour after Bruce checks them in, striking up cheerful conversation with the girl, before they’re finally called in. The nurse leads them through a hallway and to a smaller room, where they’re tood to wait for the audiologist, which takes another 30 minutes. The room is filled with tense silence while they wait, neither of the adult making any effort to talk to each other.
The doctor finally enters the room, telling Tim to sit on a chair and put on a pair of headphones. He looks at Harley nervously, and she responds with a thumbs up, giving him enough confidence to tell the doctor to start the test.
It takes a while for Tim to be able to hear the beeping, and the longer it takes the more worried the doctor looks. When Tim finally hears it, the doctor writes something down on his clipboard, as well as a little note.
“With your level of hearing, and what it was the last time your school did the standard tests, it seems like something drastic happened recently in order for you to lose your hearing this much,” the doctor looks up at Junior, concerned, his concern growing when Junior lets out a giggle, “something akin to an explosion.” The doctor finishes, but turns to Harley before he lets Junior try and explain. “And you,” he points at Harley, “I know you from somewhere, and why is Bruce Wayne taking his neighbor to the audiologist? What’s going on; aren’t you Harley Quinn?” The doctor stands up, his eyes wide as we watches Junior’s giggles turn to sobs.
“Mama,” Junior quietly cries, getting up and stumbling into his mama’s arms. Bruce purses his lips, his expression hardening.
“We are here to get him the hearing aids that he needs, not for you to ask questions.” Bruce says, Junior barely being able to hear him, but it’s onvious that the man is purposely talking loud enough and high enough for Junior to hear him, and the boy appreciates that more than he can articulate into words.
~~~
Tim wanders around the empty manor, the sounds around him falling on deaf ears as he hold his hearing aid in his hands. The house feels eerie, both from the silence and the emptiness. Harley finally left after days of begging from Bruce, saying that it isn’t safe for her to be there and, especially after the… incident… at the audiologist, around Tim at all. Tim misses her, but Bruce is sensitive so Tim refrains from expressing that sentiment.
Batman, though, turned a blind eye to the chaos that Harley leaving the Joker left, merely putting the Joker in Arkham and calling it the end of that, despite it leaving the criminal world in shambles.
Tim stops in front of a door– his door, according to Bruce, but he doesn’t have any memories attached to it. He doesn’t have many memories in general, about anything predating his experience as Joker Junior. Bruce has shown him countless photos and told him even more stories, but Tim still can’t remember any of it.
The only thing that he does remember, however, is being Robin.
The feeling of air between his hair, adrenaline shooting through his veins and pride swelling in his chest as Bruce looks down at him with a smile.
He nearly jumps when he feels a hand on his shoulder. He turns around, equipping his hearing aid as he tunes into Dick’s words.
“Are you gonna go in?” Dick asks playfully. Tim stares at him before processing the words, nodding with a smile.
“Oh, uh, yeah.” Tim laughs nervously, pushing open his door and flopping on his bed, thinking maybe he likes this.