Work Text:
a dream
The weight in my arms cannot be dropped. Despite it being the weight of someone’s life, I can no longer feel it.
In fact, all that can be felt was a severe lack of temperature. Way past the point when you’d drop an ice cube, where your fingers are red, numbed, burning. Where the muscles would not move the way you want, but you still had some movement.
In fact, all that can be done did not include lifting a finger. I have become an icy, solid mass, one with the body in my hands, the snow on the floor.
A frozen neck could only be as brittle as ice. The wrath would push and my view becomes the sky and a headless bastard pathetically holding a body he had failed.
It’s cold. I can’t breathe. My lungs would not expand. My throat could not move. I’m cold. It burns. I’m cold. I’m cold. I’m cold? I’m…
He woke with a loud gasp, intaking the crisp air in a way it would hit the back of his throat. He could only cough in response, quickly covering his mouth as he felt his insides ready to be expelled along with. Tears in his eyes, he took slow, large breaths. The air pierced his nose, and his tears hardened into another source of cold.
It was a cold he recognised, able to freeze him through to his bones.
That’s alright. It would be over soon, as today marks Arlam village’s first snow festival. The host, Natsuki Subaru, must show the appeal—anything but a smile shall not be tolerated.
He showed Petra the snow rabbit he would make often back home. Leaves for ears, red berries for eyes.
“I can make that too!”
“Oh, is that right?” Subaru said with a grin. “How about this!”
He added all the cool mecha looking alterations he could think of. A cockpit, missiles, treads…
“Flying Assault Incinerator form, Ultimate Weapon S.N.O.W. B.U.N.N—“
Subaru was met with a mouthful of snow, gifted by Petra. It seemed she was more a real robot fan than a super robot one.
He went around the area, watching people having fun, building sculptures.
He saw the sisters’ abomination. A compromise between the two sisters, a well made statue of Subaru and Roswaal as one person. Something about being combined with Roswaal really rubbed him the wrong way.
“… unfortunately… 5 points.”
“Subaru! Look at our sculpture!”
The kids pulled on his arm and pushed him from behind, leading him to a mound of snow in Subaru’s signature pose.
“Tada!!!”
“It looks exactly like you!”
“So you guys also made sculpture of me,” Subaru said.
“Stand next to it!”
As he walked towards the sculpture, he noticed the large amount of snow rabbits scattered across the floor. The red beads of the rabbits all faced toward the sculpture, depicting a hoard surrounding him. Careful not to step on any of them, Subaru felt a chill up his back.
“This is kind of unsettling…”
“Do you like my rabbit army?” Lucas asked excitedly. “Subaru versus infinite rabbits! Who will win!”
“So they’re not my allies!” Subaru retorted. “At least make them my pets or something. I feel like they’re going to eat me up or something…”
After Subaru carefully manoeuvred around the rabbits, he thrust his hip out and pointed to the sky.
“Like this?”
The children took a second as they looked between Subaru and his statue.
“Something feels off.”
“The real one has mean eyes!”
“Mean eyes!”
“They’re not mean!”
Lucas climbed onto Cain’s shoulders, ready to fix the sculpture. The unstable pair moved towards the sculpture and when they took their final step, Lucas pushed snow Subaru’s head to catch himself from falling.
That of which cleanly came right off.
“Ah! It fell!”
Along with the head, Subaru’s heart dropped.
Of all the days he had to have dreamt.
Of all the dreams he could have had.
The children laughing echoed as background noise.
The snow head was stuck smiling on the floor.
Suffocated, couldn’t breathe. His neck was so tight.
Cold. So cold.
He forced the corners of his mouth up. Provide a retort like he usually does. “This is no laughing business…”
As long as the children continued to laugh.
He could feel the his stomach acid climbing up his throat. His brain felt filled with the same thing.
“I’m gonna go tally the scores…”
Despite the weather, he was sweating like it was a summer day.
Now alone in his room, he held his neck. It was attached. It was warm. Blood was pumping through. It could move. He wasn’t frozen.
Rem was outside moving. With Ram, all energetic and no injuries.
There should be no problems…
It was good the festival was at the mansion where he could hide from everyone else. The laughter outside was just like what he’d listen to after watching his clock tick past eight. A world he doesn’t belong to.
Or was it bad it was at the mansion? It overly reminded him of that exact scene. A snow-filled mansion, freezing from inside out. Everyone here would be subject to death freezing, inner organs slowly losing function, cold burning the insides, no breaths to be made…
“Subaru?”
A voice with the sound of silver bells called.
“Oh, Subaru! There you are. I was worried.”
“E- Emilia…”
Subaru pulled his crunchy blanket above his neck.
“What were you doing by yourself?”
“Ah… just… the wind was getting to me. Wanted to warm up a little when tallying the scores.” Subaru put on a smile.
Emilia took a hand Subaru had holding the blanket with and blew on it. The warm air from her mouth tingled, sending Subaru into a blush.
“Emilia!?”
Her soft expression looked directly into his. “Did this help warm you up? I would love for you to rejoin soon.”
“Yeah…” Subaru could only stutter.
Emilia nodded with a smile. “Let’s have more fun with everyone.”