Archive of Our Own

“I’ve always wanted such beautiful long hair like yours, Nagisa.” 

Hiromi ran her fingers through Nagisa’s hair, flipping his hair in front of his shoulders. Nagisa subconsciously furrowed his brows slightly before dropping his expression and hanging his head. 

“You know, I’ve always wanted a daughter. It's truly such a shame,” Hiromi said, leaning over Nagisa's shoulder and cupping his face to lift his head.

Nagisa looked at himself in the mirror, then quickly averted his eyes, staring at the corner of the room.

“Such a gorgeous lady you would’ve been,” she whispered, stroking his hair.

Yeah, right. Except I'm a boy. 

Is what Nagisa wanted to say, to engrave it in his mom’s brain so she’d stop doing shit like this, but in situations like this, Nagisa knew it was best to stay quiet and just let his mom do as she pleased. 

——————-

Karma wasn’t particularly surprised when Nagisa abruptly showed up at his doorstep. It wasn’t the first time it happened.

Nagisa wore a faint grin and stared at Karma with the softest eyes. He tilted his head, letting his long hair fall off his shoulders. He smiled sheepishly, letting out the tiniest laugh.

“Can we hang out?” Nagisa asked, averting his eyes to stare into the corner. 

“Yeah, sure. Come in.” Karma cocked his head and walked back into the house with his hands stuffed into his pockets.

“You sure? I’m not interrupting you or anything?” Nagisa questioned as he stumbled in, closing the door behind him. 

“Yup. You’re never a bother,” Karma answered; his tone remained flat, but a small smile grew on his face. 

Karma looked back at Nagisa, who was taking off his shoes, his vivid blue hair falling forward and covering his face. 

“Smash bros?” Karma asked. 

“Sure,” Nagisa beamed, looking up at Karma with glistening eyes. 

Karma swallowed, and his throat suddenly went dry; heat rose to his cheeks, and he immediately turned his back on Nagisa, walking to his room without taking another moment to look back. If anything, he just hoped Nagisa didn’t catch a glimpse of the blush that dusted his cheeks. 

“Sorry, It’s kinda messy in here,” Karma said, eyeing the textbooks and notebooks piled up on his wooden desk. 

“No, no, don’t worry about it. I came here on a whim,” Nagisa chucked softly, his grin sheepish. 

Nagisa sat himself on Karma’s unmade bed, and Karma passed Nagisa a controller; then he turned on the small TV in his room as if it were routine. Karma placed himself on the ground in front of his bed just a foot away from Nagisa, scared that if he got too close, he might burn himself. 

“Seeing you reminded me,” Karma suddenly spoke as he smashed the buttons on his controller,” After school yesterday, Nakamura was telling me about this girl she became friends with during her trip when we were on break. She showed me a photo, actually, and she looked just like you. Same long blue hair and stuff.” 

“Oh?” Nagisa's voice grew quiet. “Really?” 

“Yeah. Thinking about it, I don’t think I’ve seen you with your hair down since we were first years.” Karma commented, slowly removing his eyes away from the screen to turn to Nagisa. “Why’d you-“ 

Fuck

Karma’s heart dropped. 

Nagisa sat there with his head hung low and shoulders slumped; his fingers barely gripping the controller. He sniffled and brought up his arm to wipe away at his eyes. He sniffled again and again and choked out small gasps. 

Fuckfuckfuckfuckfuckfuck 

Did I say something wrong? 

Karma dropped his controller without a second thought and kneeled in front of Nagisa, attempting to get a glimpse of his face. Without a second thought, he grasped Nagisa’s hand in his as if he were praying. 

“Uh…I’m sorry, Nagisa. What’s wrong? Is it something I said?” 

“No...” Nagisa sniffled, bringing his arm to his eyes once again. “No, It’s not that.” 

Karma dropped Nagisa’s hand and reached out to tuck Nagisa’s hair behind his ear, caressing his tear-soaked face in the process. 

“Hm?” Karma hummed, staring into Nagisa’s teary blue eyes. 

“Weird question, but bear with me. Do I look like a girl?” Nagisa choked out, meeting Karma’s eyes. 

“What?” Karma raised a brow. “Nah, not really. I mean you could totally pass as one if you-“ 

“That’s not helping!” Nagisa interrupted, his face growing red as he displayed a scandalized expression. 

“Okay, okay, sorry,” Karma chuckled. “Truthfully, you don’t look like a chick. Even if you have long hair or not, it doesn’t matter because you’re a boy either way.” 

“I know that!” Nagisa swallowed, involuntarily letting out a sob.

“What even brought this on?” 

“It’s nothing,” Nagisa replied bluntly, wiping away his tears on his sleeve. 

Karma raised a brow. He stared at Nagisa as Nagisa sniffled again. Karma took a deep breath before standing up, stiffly holding out his arms as if he just rose from the dead. Nagisa simply looked up at Karma and cocked his head. 

“What?” Nagisa murmured, his voice barely audible. 

“A hug, idiot. Before I change my mind,” Karma blurted out as heat rapidly rose to his face. 

Nagisa couldn’t help but break out into a smile and laughed softly before rising from the bed and wrapping his arms around Karma’s torso. Karma pulled Nagisa in closer, and he felt Nagisa completely relax his body, letting his head drop onto Karma's shoulder.

“There, there,” Karma whispered sing-songy as he patted Nagisa’s head.

“Shut up, Karma,” Nagisa laughed, and Karma swore his heart rate picked up; he just hoped Nagisa couldn’t hear it thumping against his chest. Karma swallowed.

“Nagisa.”

“Yeah?” Nagisa perked up.

“That’s who you are. No one can tell you who you are except yourself. Nagisa is a male, so you're a male. It’s as simple as that. It doesn’t matter what you look like or what other people think. You know yourself better than anyone else, so don’t let people convince you otherwise. At least that's what I assume is happening.” 

“…” 

Nagisa remained silent as he rubbed his face against Karma’s shoulder before leaning the side of his face on Karma’s shoulder, looking up at him with wrinkled eyes. 

“Thank you,” Nagisa said with a honey-like smile plastered on his face that sent electric chills down Karma's spine all the way to his toes. Karma’s throat went dry. 

He’s going to kill me.

Nagisa pulled away from the hug, and he averted his eyes once again as a pink blush engulfed his pale face. 

“Sorry for crying like that out of the blue. That was out of character for me,” Nagisa mumbled. 

“Do you wanna continue playing?” 

“No,” Nagisa responded, his eyes finally free from the crystal tears. “Can you put on a movie?” 

“Sonic Ninja?” Karma smiled. 

“Yeah, I’d like that.” Nagisa smiled back as he sat back on the bed. 

Karma plopped himself next to Nagisa, leaving just an inch between their bodies, but for some reason Karma felt as if he needed to get closer and closer to Nagisa. 

Suddenly, Karma’s entire body tensed up as Nagisa’s head plopped itself onto Karma’s shoulder, and Nagisa completely melted against Karma; his shoulders slightly slumped, and his warm arm rubbing against Karma’s. Karma peeked at Nagisa, getting only a glimpse of his blue head. 

“You gonna put it on?” Nagisa asked, his voice bringing Karma back to his senses 

“Yeah. The remote wasn’t working.” 

“And it was like the first time we hugged, ever,” Karma said in a low voice, crossing his arms as he leaned against the classroom wall. 

“Did it awaken something in you or something?” Nakamura giggled, letting her hands rest on her hips.

“Shut up. Not the point of the story. My point is that something weird is happening to Nagisa. He’s acting odd.” Karma furrowed his brows, 

“Okay… maybe he finally realized he’s in love with you after you gave him an entire speech of how he's wonderful the way he is.” Nakamura teased, smirking at Karma. 

And as if on cue, Karma’s face turned a fiery red.

“Wait-“ Nakamura’s eyes widened. “Do you actually have a crush on-“ 

“I’m off,” Karma said almost too fast and walked away from the conversation before Nakamura pulled him back. 

“Wait! The girls are always making jokes about you two being together, so I just naturally went along, but I didn’t realize you actually had feelings for him.” Nakamura whispered only loud enough for Karma to hear. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Karma replied with a blank face and shoved his hands in his pockets before taking a step away from the conversation.

“Right.” Nakamura rolled her eyes. “You’re so obvious. You should've seen your face! You’re like a teenage girl with a little crush. Well, I guess that’s kind of what's happening actually.” 

“Okay, I like him and whatever, but that’s irrelevant,” Karma scowled. “He’s hiding something.” 

“He always is. That's just how he is.” Nakamura said, crossing her arms and popping her hip. “So what do you intend to do about it? You gonna stalk him or something?” 

“What? No.” 

Nakamura laughed, slightly throwing her head back. “Why don’t you just ask him? I mean, he is your best friend.” 

Karma frowned, tilted his head up, and looked off to the side, keeping his hands stuffed in his pockets. He responded: “Nah. He wouldn’t tell me even if I asked him straight up. He would just say it’s nothing or change the topic.”

Karma then lowered his head as a familiar set of footsteps sounded. 

Speaking of the devil

Nagisa strolled into the room, smiling and laughing softly as he conversed with Kayano, who was walking to his left. 

“Oh!” Nagisa perked up, his eyes slightly widening. “Hey Karma and Nakamura! I didn’t realize you guys were in the classroom.” He admitted while displaying a toothy smile. 

“Kayano! Perfect timing!” Nakamura smirked, and her eyes narrowed. Karma swore horns started to sprout out of her head. 

“Nagisa, if you don’t mind, I’m going to steal Kayano from you.” Nakamura giggled, wrapping her arms around Kayano. 

“Eh?” Kayano’s face dropped. “Wait!” She cried as Nakamura dragged her out of the classroom, leaving only the remains of her screams echoing in the halls. 

“…” 

That fucking traitor is going to tell her.

But suddenly, it felt as if it didn’t matter anymore as Nagisa gradually scooted closer to Karma. Karma let out a breath that he didn’t know he was holding in, and each limb drooped as if his body was reconstructing itself from the ground up. 

Karma gazed at Nagisa, who simply stared at the doorway. Without sparing another moment, Karma’s body moved on its own and wrapped an arm around Nagisa’s shoulders, using him as an armrest.

“That was weird,” Nagisa commented.

“Yeah.” Karma stoically replied as Nagisa pulled out his phone. 

“I was looking for you, Karma. I wanted to show you something,” Nagisa said, smiling as he scrolled through his phone. 

With Nagisa’s hair up in his signature pigtails, Karma was able to catch a way better glimpse of his expression than the other day. He looked Nagisa up and down, engraving Nagisa’s being into his mind: the soft curve of his pink lips, his gentle, calm blue eyes, and the way his slim pale fingers danced across the screen. 

He wondered:

Are his hands as soft as his face is? 

He thought back to that Saturday and how his fingers burned as he caressed Nagisa’s flushed cheeks, tucking Nagisa’s silky hair behind his ear. Even when he did grasp Nagisa’s hand, he was so focused on the crystal tears falling from Nagisa’s eyes that he didn’t acknowledge that Nagisa’s hands were in his. 

“This,” Nagisa called out.

“Hm?” Karma hummed, his eyes darting to the phone screen. 

Nagisa tilted his phone closer to Karma to show him the cover of a comic with flashy, vivid colors. 

“The author of Sonic Ninja released this spin-off series, and I wanted to see if they had it in store. Wanna come with me today after school?” 

“Sure,” Karma replied with a grin. 

Nagisa smiled back at him, tilting his head to the side to lock eyes with Karma’s. Just then, Nakamura walked through the door alongside Kayano, who eyed Karma as she walked into the classroom. 

Fuck. 

She told her. 

“Yo! What’s up?” Nakamura greeted the two boys with a knowing smile and raised brows. 

Karma narrowed his eyes, glaring at Nakamura. 

Instinctively, he pulled Nagisa closer. 

Karma tossed his school bag over his shoulder and kept his other hand in his pocket. His eyes were glued to Nagisa as he yabbered about something to do with Sonic Ninja. Hell, Karma had no idea what he was saying; Karma remained focused merely on the movement of Nagisa’s pink lips that curved ever so slightly as he talked and talked. 

Before Karma could process it, they walked through a pair of automatic doors and the crisp scent of plastic smacked him in the nostrils. He came back to his senses and scanned the room; there were piles upon piles of comics, books, and manga in every corner. 

“I haven’t been here in a while,” Karma stated. 

“Really? When was the last time you were here?” Nagisa questioned, leading the way to a wooden shelf-like organizer storing piles of comics and manga.

“When I came with you during our second year,” Karma answered blankly, following directly behind Nagisa. 

“I thought you liked comics,” Nagisa said, glancing up at Karma for a second. 

“Nah. Not my go-to. I prefer video games and movies,” Karma replied, letting his head drop to the side and smiling wide enough to show his sharp canines. 

“Oh, that’s right. You only read Sonic Ninja with me because you liked the movie director,” Nagisa said under his breath as if he was taking a mental note. 

“Yup,” Karma grinned, popping the p. 

“Ah! Over there. If it were in store, it would be around here,” Nagisa beamed, his eyes growing brighter as if actual stars were forming in his pupils. 

Nagisa began to search the shelves, checking every title and cover of the comics filling the organizer. He started from the bottom of the shelf to the top, to the point where he had to go on his tippy toes just to get a feel of the comics near the top. 

Honestly, Karma couldn’t stop himself from finding it cute just how determined Nagisa was to find the comic. Nagisa really could’ve just talked to an employee, but instead Nagisa stood there in front of the shelf, stretching out his arm.

Nagisa, reaching up as far as he could, grasped at a comic at the top, trying to pull it out when Karma leaned forward from behind him. Without taking a second to think about what he was doing, he reached above Nagisa’s head and pulled out the comic that was carefully wrapped in plastic,

“Is this it?” Karma asked, holding out the comic for Nagisa to see while still standing directly behind him. 

“Uh… no- nope,” Nagisa choked out, stumbling over his words. “I thought it was, but I guess not. It’s probably just not in stores yet if it's not here.” 

Karma simply hummed and placed the comic back.

“Is there anywhere you want to go?” Nagisa coughed. 

“Sure. There’s an ice cream place nearby. I don’t think we’ve gone there together before.” 

“Is it new? Wait, what is it called? I’ll look it up,” Nagisa blabbered, pulling out his phone before he even finished speaking.

Karma couldn’t help but laugh, which came out drier than expected. “You don’t need to do that, Nagisa. Just follow me,” he insisted.

Karma began to walk away from the shelf, turning his head back and holding out his hand from over his shoulder. “Come on. You trust me, don’t you?” 

“Well,” Nagisa frowned and closed his eyes as a strand of sweat visibly ran down his temple. “Not really.” 

“…” 

Karma pretended not to hear him and continued walking out of the store.

Even despite Nagisa's apparent weariness, Karma didn’t need to look back once to know that Nagisa followed right behind him without any hesitation. 

Okay, well,

Maybe hesitation was needed. 

Karma thought he knew where the ice cream store was, but as they kept walking, less and less stores were appearing. Worst of all, there was no ice cream store in sight.

“Karma, are you sure you know where you’re going?” Nagisa smiled sheepishly as more strands of sweat dripped down his face.

“You don’t trust me?” Karma said in a pitiful tone but remained smiling. 

“No.” 

“Okay, ouch.” 

Nagisa chuckled softly, looking up at Karma to give him a toothy smile that reached his eyes. 

Fuck

Karma swore his heart just skipped a beat. 

“Hey!” A low voice suddenly echoed through the streets. “You kids over there!” 

Karma narrowed his eyes and almost rolled them out of annoyance. He turned around and found a group of what seemed to be high schoolers running at them through an alleyway between two vacant stores. 

“Do you know them?” Nagisa asked, his expression as unconcerned as it could be. 

“Nah. Their buddy probably does though,” Karma smiled as adrenaline and thrill started to pump through his body. 

“Are you Akabane Karma?” asked one of the high schoolers, who gritted his teeth, holding up a fist. 

“That's me,” Karma answered, his voice full of cockiness and confidence. 

“You’ll fucking pay for what you did!” he barked, cracking his knuckles. 

“Eh?” Karma hummed. “Really? Is that so?” He smiled and tilted his head up so that he was quite literally looking down at them. 

“Karma, are you sure about this?” Nagisa chimed in. “I could just use my stun clap on them, and then we can be on our way. We can watch another movie at your place. It’ll be fun.” 

Karma's eyes widened. Then, he laughed. 

Seriously? Nagisa fighting? 

“Alright then. They’re all yours.” 

Karma closed his eyes and lowered his head; he turned his back and flicked his wrist over his shoulder, giving Nagisa the go.

“Hm? And who is this? Your little boyfriend?” One of the high schoolers mocked. He straightened up from his slouched fighting stance, relaxing his body at the sight of Nagisa. 

Boyfriend?

Karma narrowed his eyes, and his smirk grew larger. “I wouldn’t underestimate the little mouse. Even he bites.” 

Nagisa gently placed his school bag down before slowly approaching the group of high schoolers that quite literally loomed over him, but that didn’t seem to bother him. He casually strolled down the alley as if he were simply making his way to class. His face: blank. 

In the blink of an eye, the teenager at the head of the group dropped to his knees, his mouth left agape. A series of yelps and gasps erupted from the group as they scrambled, leaving the stunned high schooler. 

Karma picked up Nagisa’s bag and paired it with his own before he walked forward, joining Nagisa. He rested an arm on Nagisa's shoulder, leaning on him. Karma looked down at the man on the floor, then back at Nagisa before holding out a hand that Nagisa high-fived with an almost blinding smile. 

“Hey! What are you no-good kids up to this time?” Another angry voice appeared, but sounded behind them. 

Simultaneously, Karma and Nagisa turned their heads around to see an elderly man charging towards them, swinging a cane in the air. 

“Run!” Karma shouted, his heart spiking and smile widening. 

“What?” Nagisa’s eyes grew large. 

Before Nagisa could get another word out, Karma grabbed his hand and tugged, dragging him away from the scene. 

“Wait!” Nagisa yelped as he almost fell flat on his face. 

Karma felt Nagisa’s hand tighten around his and squeezed Nagisa’s hand back, yanking him forward in the meantime as they ran against the breeze. 

“Hah!” Karma chuckled as the wind caressed his face, slicking back his hair. He whipped his head around to look at Nagisa, meeting his oh-so-dazzling blue eyes that crinkled as Nagisa burst out into a fit of laughter. 

Nagisa wholeheartedly laughed and laughed alongside Karma, who glued his eyes to Nagisa; his eyes were shut tightly, and his overgrown bangs flowed along with the breeze. His smile. His laugh. It was all too sweet. Too nauseating that Karma couldn’t look away from him. 

Slowly, Nagisa’s hand moved against Karma’s, intertwining their fingers together, and Karma swore it was like two puzzle pieces, fitting perfectly together. 

Karma couldn’t pull away. 

He didn’t want to. 

At that moment, Nagisa opened his eyes and looked directly at Karma with a faint blush dusting his cheeks; his smile was as radiant as ever, and suddenly, Karma forgot how to breathe. His throat went dry, and heat quickly rose to his face, but Nagisa simply remained, staring into Karma’s widening eyes while their legs moved together in sync. 

The world went quiet, as if it were only Karma, Nagisa, and their intertwined hands left on earth. 

You’re frightening. 

“Hm? What’d you say?” Nagisa raised a brow, slowing down. 

Shit, did I say that out loud? 

Karma stayed quiet, his heart beating twice as fast as it should be. He slowed down alongside Nagisa, and together, they eventually came to a halt, conveniently ending up in an empty park. 

Karma watched as Nagisa’s chest rhythmically heaved while he caught his breath, completely ignoring how he too was now breathing heavily as if he just completed a marathon. 

“Seriously, Karma, who were those guys?” 

“Some friends of this guy who I got into a fight with. He was bothering this chick who looked scared out of her wits, and I just really got the urge to teach him a lesson,” Karma smiled, punching his fist into the back of his other hand, which was still tightly intertwined with Nagisa’s.

“Thank god,” Nagisa let out a sigh of relief and let his shoulders slump. “I was worried that I just stunned an innocent man. Korosensei would kill me!” 

Karma huffed, slightly laughing. He looked at Nagisa’s more than relieved face, then down at their hands.

“Your hands are really soft,” Karma blurted out without thinking. 

“Oh,” Nagisa gasped and snatched his hand back, almost as if he just realized at that moment that they were holding hands. 

Oh my god, they were holding hands.

“Thank you? I think,” Nagisa laughed awkwardly, looking anywhere but at Karma. “They kinda need to be…” Nagisa trailed off and paused for a split second. “Are we still watching a movie at your place?” 

Karma narrowed his eyes, just for a moment, before putting on a stoic, blank expression.

“Yeah. Sure,” Karma responded, forcing himself to form a small grin. 

“I’ll use a GPS this time just in case we get lost again,” Nagisa smiled as he grabbed his bag back from Karma, pulling out his phone. 

“You told him his hands were soft?” Nakamura's eyes popped out almost comically before throwing her head back and laughing manically while clutching her stomach.

“Whatever,” Karma grumbled as his face turned a vivid red. 

Karma stuffed his hands in his pockets, letting himself lean back on the tree just right outside of the school building. In front of him, Nakamura stood, still clutching her stomach. Thank god most students already went home. Knowing his nosy classmates, they would definitely be hiding up in the trees just to get a snippet of this conversation, then make a huge fuss. 

“Bro, you’re hopeless,” Nakamura said through her laughter, playfully patting Karma’s shoulder. “Please let me tell the other girls. They would lose their minds if they knew about this.” 

“Can we focus on what actually matters here?” Karma furrowed his brows and narrowed his eyes. “He said that he needed to keep his hands soft. Does that not seem weird to you? Logically speaking, anyone would expect his hands to be calloused or coarse to some extent after all of the training we’ve done this year.” 

“Or maybe he just really likes having soft hands,” Nakamura suggested. 

“But if that was the case, he would say that he liked having soft hands, not that he needed to keep them soft. Plus, the way he pulled away from me; he acted as if I fucking burned him or something,” Karma argued, his face stern. 

“Are you sure you're just not obsessing over the fact that you guys held hands?”

“Stop making it seem as if I’m just trying to get in 

his pants,” Karma blushed. “I’m not friends with him solely so I could date him. We’re seriously just friends, and I care for him as I would for any of my other friends.”

“Uh huh, your other friends…“ Nakamura trailed off. “So, you wouldn’t bat an eye at all if he got with someone else?” She raised her brows and grinned as if she were insinuating something.

Karma raised a brow and crossed his arms. “Nope,” he said, popping the p.

“Liar.” 

Nakamura poked Karma. 

“What? Do you have the hots for him or something?” Karma smirked, his eye slightly twitching as he let his head drop off to the side, his overgrown bangs falling along with his movement. 

“Chill, Karma. He’s your ‘chick.’” Nakamura replied, sitting herself down on the grass and leaning her head against the tree just next to Karma’s legs.

“Not a chick.” 

“Right. Anywho… let’s say you’re right about all of this. What do you plan to do?” 

“Get to the bottom of it,” Karma declared, holding up a fist that was so tightly curled that his veins started to pop out from underneath his skin. “I’ll find out who’s making him act like this and make them regret ever doing so.” 

“Typical. How would Nagisa react to that, huh? He’ll come crying to you again with open arms and puckered lips, calling you his knight in shining armor?” 

“What?” 

Karma didn’t even get a chance to breathe as a pair of fangs suddenly pierced him down to the bone, cutting off all senses. His entire body went tense; lifeless, frozen. His eyes dropped wide open, and instinctively, he yanked forward whatever was behind him. 

“Karma!” Nagisa cried as he stumbled forward. “All I did was poke you.” He smiled sheepishly with his eyes closed. 

Oh. 

Karma looked down at him and realized he was gripping Nagisa’s wrist a little too hard. He let go and shoved his hand in his pocket to avoid giving in to the little voice in his head to bring Nagisa a little closer. 

“Sorry,” Karma muttered, laughing dryly. 

“Hiya, Nagisa,” Nakamura said, peeking her head out from behind Karma’s legs while saluting with two fingers. 

“Oh, Nakamura,” Nagisa waved and smiled softly at her. 

“Don’t mind me, lovebirds. It’s about time for me to get home.” Nakamura said as she quickly picked herself up. “See ya!” She winked, giving them a thumbs up before running off. 

“Lovebirds?” Nagisa coughed, looking away from Karma. Still, he couldn’t hide the blush that had spread to his ears. 

“Ignore her, she’s being weird,” Karma comforted him, placing his arm around Nagisa’s shoulders and pulling him in close. 

Fuck. 

So much for restraint.

He swore his arm moved on its own. 

“Yeah. Everyone’s been weird recently,” Nagisa sighed.

“Hm?” Karma hummed. 

“Nothing,” Nagisa replied almost too fast. “You wanna get ice cream?” 

“Ice cream?” Karma was taken aback. 

“Yeah. Since you wanted to get ice cream yesterday and all, but we weren’t able to. Do you remember what the place was called?” Nagisa asked while pulling out his phone. 

“Mhm,” Karma sang, grinning. “I can just type it into your phone.” 

“Ah,” Nagisa gasped. ”Alright” 

While still holding onto Nagisa, Karma held out his palm, and as Nagisa handed him the phone, their hands brushed ever so slightly, sending jolts of electricity through Karma’s hand and down his arm. Karma gulped.

He’s actually going to kill me. 

“Karma? Did you forget the name or something?” Nagisa laughed. 

“Hm?” Karma jolted, locking eyes with Nagisa, then realizing he was simply staring at the screen beforehand. “Sorry about that.” was all Karma could say.

Karma’s fingers moved at the speed of lightning across the screen, trying to get rid of the weird, overwhelming sensation pooling up in his stomach. What was he doing? Zoning out randomly because of Nagisa; seriously?

 I need to get it together. 

Karma handed Nagisa back his phone and forced a small grin. He took his arm off Nagisa’s shoulders and put them in his pockets to avoid doing anything stupid before making his way down the mountain, walking alongside Nagisa, who for some reason kept inching closer and closer. 

As the lady at the counter handed Nagisa and Karma their respective cups of ice cream, she said something along the lines of “here you go, have a nice day.” Or maybe she said, “Enjoy your day.” Karma wasn’t sure, and frankly he didn’t care; all he wanted to do at this point was permanently super glue his eyes to Nagisa as he admired the way Nagisa’s eyes lit up as his slim fingers wrapped around the paper cup. 

“What flavor did you get, Karma?” 

“Hm?” Karma perked up. “Strawberry. You?” 

“I... uh… I don’t really know,” Nagisa answered sheepishly, smiling with his eyes closed but brows furrowed. “I didn’t know what to get so I just asked the worker what she recommended. I think it’s a black sesame flavor.” 

Nagisa laughed almost nervously, seeming to regret his decision. 

“You should’ve just gotten another strawberry ice cream for me,” Karma said with a shit-eating grin, which earned him a small shoulder shove and a chuckle from Nagisa as they walked out of the store, finding a place nearby to sit. 

“I’ll keep that in mind for next time,” Nagisa smiled softly, and Karma swore he was just shot thirty-eight times right in the chest.

Nagisa took the initiative to sit down first, plopping himself on a bench. Karma followed suit but purposefully made sure to leave more than a comfortable amount of space between them so he wouldn’t resort to doing something stupid. 

Whatever. We’re just hanging out as friends. That's all it is. 

Karma forced himself to stare straight ahead as he scooped into his ice cream, shoving it in his mouth. 

“Mm! Wait, this is actually pretty good,” Nagisa blurted out. “Karma, do you want to try?” 

Karma turned his head towards Nagisa, who had already scooped up some ice cream and held the spoon towards Karma as if he were spoon-feeding a child. What was he gonna do next? Say “here comes the airplane?” Karma subconsciously smiled just thinking about it. 

“Sure,” Karma replied without even taking a second to process what he was doing.

And as if Karma’s body had a mind of its own, he leaned forward and took the spoon that Nagisa was holding out into his mouth. For a second, he glanced up at Nagisa, and suddenly Karma’s taste buds had gone numb. He didn’t care about how the black sesame ice cream tasted, not when Nagisa’s face was engulfed in a vivid red that made him so adorable that it was almost unbearable to stare any longer. 

“Yeah. It's pretty good,” Karma said, quickly turning his attention to the open scenery in front of him while trying his best to conceal the shakiness in his voice. 

“Yeah…yeah, right,” Nagisa stuttered, his composure obviously breaking as his face glowed an even brighter red. “Hey, Karma...” 

“Yeah?” Karma responded, turning his head to face Nagisa. 

Fuck. 

Nagisa was right there. 

Nagisa.

NagisaNagisaNagisaNagisa

was all Karma could think about.

Nagisa was looking down at his ice cream cup, and his pink lips were moving in a way that just felt so mesmerizing. He was saying something, but Karma's stupid brain could only focus on the fact that they were so incredibly close.

Karma leaned forward, and just for a split second, Karma's lips made contact with Nagisa's cheek, separating with a small mwah sound.

“Fuck,” Karma said under his breath. His eyes widened, and his heart dropped. If he wasn’t dead before, he was definitely going to be killed now. By Nagisa’s own hands, nevertheless. 

What the hell did I just do? 

“Holy shit,” Karma touched his lips; the feeling of Nagisa’s soft cheek still lingering. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that,” Karma rambled, trying to make sense of the situation and calm his rapidly beating heart. 

“This is exactly what I’m talking about!” Nagisa yelled, suddenly rising from the bench, knocking his ice cream over. “Stop being so weird! Seriously, what’s been up with you recently?” 

“Me? Weird?” Karma furrowed his brows, and at that moment, all the butterflies that were swimming in his stomach were gone. “You’re the one acting fucking weird.” 

Karma narrowed his eyes and slowly stood up, looking down at Nagisa, who kept his eyes glued to the floor, now sticky with both of the spilt cups of ice cream. 

“Are you kidding me? I’m the one acting weird. Is everyone just playing a huge joke on me?” Nagisa mumbled. “Everyone is acting fucking weird! Kayano and Nakamura keep giving me strange looks, the girls are always giggling and whispering when I’m anywhere near them, and even the boys have been weirder than usual. And you.” Nagisa looked up, his eyes narrow but surprisingly not angry. 

Nagisa’s eyes… they carried something inexplicable. Sadness? Confusion? Karma couldn’t tell. 

“You’ve been the weirdest out of everyone. I just don’t get you! You sneak off with Nakamura, but then you kiss me? I just don’t understand. I’m supposed to be the one good at reading people, but I just can’t understand you! Are you taking pity on me? Because I don’t need your pity, Karma,” Nagisa rambled, his face seemingly getting closer to Karma's. 

“God, just listen to me, will you?” Karma groaned, placing his hands on Nagisa’s shoulders and getting up in his face. “Don’t go around assuming shit. What are you even saying? Do you even hear yourself? How dense are you? I’m acting like this because I fucking like you. I’m not ‘taking pity on you’; I just care about you, Nagisa. Don’t even try to act as if you haven’t been acting weird yourself.” 

Karma poked him in the chest repeatedly, each poke getting more aggressive. 

“You hypocrite. What’s with you needing to keep your hands soft or you asking me if you look like a girl? I thought you didn’t care about that shit, so seriously, stop avoiding it every time it comes up.” Karma barked, stuffing his hands in his pockets, trying to ignore the fire igniting in his stomach. “Man up already, and just talk to me.” 

“Wait,” Nagisa said quietly, standing frozen in place. “Back up. You… you like me?” 

Karma swallowed. 

“Yeah. That’s what I said, didn’t I?” Karma muttered, his face getting increasingly hotter and hotter. 

“Like... like, as a friend?” 

“You really are oblivious,” Karma grumbled. “No, you idiot. I like you as in I can’t stop thinking about you no matter how hard I try.” 

“Karma,” Nagisa’s eyes grew wider. “Are you serious? You’re not joking? You’re not playing a trick on me?” 

“Why would I do that?” Karma couldn’t help but let out a small huff of laughter. “Nagisa, I swear, on Korosensei’s life, I’m not joking.” 

“But you’re trying to assassinate Korosensei, so you could actually mean that you’re joking right now and I just look like a complete fool,” Nagisa rambled, and Karma could tell Nagisa was getting progressively more nervous as his posture stiffened. 

“Fine. I swear, on my own life, that I’m not joking.” 

“But there was that one time you jumped off the cliff near the school while trying to kill Korosensei, which by the way was the worst tactic ever. I can’t believe you actually thought that was a good idea! You’ve always been so weird; I just can’t get a read on you, seriously! I was so worried, and you just threw your life away like that, and I don’t know where I would be if Korosensei didn’t-“ 

Karma couldn’t take it anymore as he leaned forward, capturing Nagisa’s lips in his. 

Fuck. 

His lips are just as soft as I imagined. 

Karma pulled away, unable to contain the grin that spread across his face at the sight of Nagisa’s red face and wide eyes. 

“You talk too much,” Karma said softly, his face just inches away from Nagisa’s, who stood there, frozen; his mouth agape.  

“Please don’t faint or something like you did when Bitch sensei kissed you,” Karma laughed nervously as he gave Nagisa more space. 

“What? I’m not going to faint!” Nagisa furrowed his brows, pouting in a way that was so insanely adorable. 

Karma hummed, teasing Nagisa with his narrowed eyes and devilish smirk. 

“Karma!” Nagisa cried with a scandalized expression, punching Karma right in the chest with what Karma assumed was his full strength. 

“So,” Karma started, letting out a cough. “I think this is the part where you reject me.” He joked dryly. 

“N-no! No. I’m not rejecting you, Karma,” Nagisa stuttered, his face still a vivid red. 

“Oh?” Karma raised his brows, and his smile widened. 

“I… God, this is so embarrassing,” Nagisa sighed, burying his head in his hands. 

Karma hummed and took a step forward towards Nagisa, reaching out to grab Nagisa’s hands and pull them away from his face; that mesmerizing face that Karma could stare at for hours. Karma slouched his shoulders, bending his neck in an attempt to look at Nagisa’s face while slowly intertwining their hands. 

“Karma.. I like you. I think I really like you,” Nagisa confessed, his voice quiet and eyes glued to their hands. 

“We’re in the same boat. I really like you too. I might like you too much.” 

Nagisa laughed, making his shoulders bounce. He looked up at Karma with a wide smile plastered on his face, and their eyes met. Karma couldn’t help but smile back as his body subconsciously relaxed. 

“Can I kiss you?” Karma said without thinking, and his own eyes widened as if the words ran off his tongue themselves. 

Nagisa laughed again. “You didn’t ask for permission a few minutes ago,” he teased. 

Karma’s face grew red. “That’s… about that,” he trailed off. 

“I was just joking, Karma,” Nagisa giggled before leaning forward, closing the gap between him and Karma. 

Karma swore fireworks went off in his stomach, and he could feel Nagisa smile against his lips. Karma let go of one of Nagisa’s hands and instead caressed his cheek, gradually pulling him closer as Karma moved his lips against Nagisa’s. As life-changing as the kiss felt, Karma still needed to talk to Nagisa, and so, reluctantly, he pulled away, leaving the kiss chaste. 

“Nagisa,” Karma said, trying to ignore the lingering feeling of Nagisa’s soft lips moving ever-so eagerly against his. “I’m sorry for randomly kissing you earlier, and I’m not just saying this because you brought it up. It wasn’t right of me to kiss you without your consent, especially since I wasn’t aware of your feelings yet.” 

But I had a good feeling about it. 

Is what Karma wanted to say, but it would only make Nagisa more flustered and his apology less sincere. It wasn’t like he was oblivious to Nagisa’s behavior, but it really was just an educated guess. At this point, he felt a little guilty for constantly making Nagisa turn into a tomato. 

“You don’t need to apologize,” Nagisa grinned, tilting his head and letting his bangs fall. “I liked it.” 

“You liked the kiss I gave you? Does that mean I can kiss you again?” Karma teased, slowly leaning in as he puckered his lips exaggeratedly while snaking his hands around Nagisa’s waist. 

“Karma!” Nagisa chuckled as he held out his hand, covering Karma’s lips. 

“Fine,” Karma said, playfully sticking out his tongue as he turned his head away from Nagisa’s hand. 

But to Karma’s surprise, Nagisa plopped a small kiss on Karma’s cheek, causing him to whip his head around again, and despite the voices in Karma’s head to pull him in closer, Karma let go of Nagisa. Karma so desperately wanted to wrap his arms around Nagisa as confusion overtook Nagisa’s face, but there was something that he needed to know. 

“Nagisa, I want to know,” Karma breathed, his voice and expression suddenly stern. “There’s no use in playing dumb or changing the topic. Is there someone hurting you?” 

“It’s…” Nagisa swallowed. “It’s complicated. I’ll tell you.” 

——————-

Nagisa so desperately wanted to look away, glue his eyes to the floor, and bury himself six feet down, but despite it all, his heart wanted to open up to the man in front of him: Karma. Karma, who held him tightly as he sobbed for no good reason. Karma, who held his face ever so gently. Karma, whom he loved so dearly for the longest time.

“My mother,” Nagisa started. “She always wanted a daughter.” 

Karma raised a brow. 

“When she was younger, her parents always forced her to focus on her studies, and she wasn’t able to get in touch with her femininity. So, when she and my dad got together, she hoped for a daughter who she could doll up. Unfortunately, she ended up with me,” Nagisa laughed dryly. 

Subconsciously, Nagisa started to twiddle his thumbs and only realized he was doing it when a warm hand grasped at his. 

Karma. 

Nagisa smiled softly and melted into Karma’s touch as Karma pulled his hands away from each other, intertwining them with his own. 

“She does this thing sometimes where she’ll pretend I’m her daughter, but it’s all so stupid! I’m a boy! I’m her son!” Nagisa gritted his teeth before taking a deep breath. He continued: “Even if I could never be her daughter, she wanted me to be as close to it as possible.” 

Nagisa gave Karma a look, and Karma seemed to understand without Nagisa having to say another word. The long hair, the hands, the awkward aversions; Karma’s face implied that he made sense of it all in that moment. 

“Uhm… That day when I started crying at your house,” Nagisa laughed sheepishly, and he felt Karma tightly squeeze his hand. “Before I came over, my Mom was going on about it again. How she wished she had a daughter and whatnot. Just the same old stuff of how I would’ve been such a beautiful lady with my long hair and cutesy dresses that she makes me wear from time to time.” 

Nagisa pulled his eyes away from Karma’s and stared at their intertwined hands, suddenly remembering how Karma had held his hand that day he was crying. He smiled. 

“I guess she just got into my head that day. I mean it when I say it was out of character for me to cry like that,” Nagisa explained. “I don’t really get bothered about all the teasing and cross-dressing.” 

Before Nagisa could even finish speaking, he was pulled into Karma’s warm embrace as Karma tightly wrapped his arms around Nagisa’s torso. Nagisa couldn’t resist it; he broke out into a huge smile and nuzzled his face in the crook of Karma’s neck, soaking in his signature smell of spicy exotic spices. 

“Are you sure you don’t care about the teasing and crossdressing? I would’ve stopped everything if you told me earlier, you know,” Karma said, slowly pulling away from the hug. 

“Yeah,” Nagisa nodded. “It’s just my mom. It’s… complicated.” Nagisa forced a laugh and bent down to pick up the two ice cream cups that had split earlier. 

“Yeah. Your mom is batshit crazy. No offense,” Karma commented, which earned him a genuine laugh from Nagisa. “Why not just talk to her about it? Also, we need to throw those away,” he said, pointing to the ice cream cups Nagisa held.

“You said it yourself. She’s batshit crazy,” Nagisa sighed. 

Karma took the ice cream cups and threw them inside a small plastic bag he pulled out from his school bag. He put the plastic bag back into his bookbag before throwing an arm around Nagisa’s shoulders. 

“It's worth a shot. If you never take the initiative to make a change, you’ll never progress. You can do it, Nagisa. I know you can,” Karma smiled, and Nagisa swore his heart melted. 

That genuine, sweet, honey-like smile. Nagisa could stare at it for hours and never get bored. At that moment, Nagisa just wanted to pull Karma in close and never let go; keep Karma all to himself so only he could see that endearing grin. 

“Come on. I’ll walk you home,” Karma said, implying that Nagisa didn’t really have a choice. Even if he did, Nagisa would undoubtedly choose to stay by Karma’s side. Maybe Karma knew that already. 

The two began walking with Karma’s arm resting on Nagisa’s shoulders, and Karma blabbered about something that Nagisa wasn’t paying any attention to. All he could focus on was Karma’s relaxed face and genuine smile that made his heart skip several beats. Karma was very capable of killing Nagisa with that toothy grin and melodious laugh, and knowing Karma, Karma already knew that. 

But Nagisa was quickly pulled out of his trance. Karma didn’t seem to realize, but with each step he took, he gradually pulled Nagisa in tighter, which made it harder for Nagisa to walk; he was so close to being suffocated by Karma’s arm, which honestly didn’t sound like the worst way to die. Still, it wasn’t ideal. 

Nagisa looked at Karma’s thin lips, then at his fiery eyes, only to realize that Karma was already looking directly at him. Nagisa involuntarily tensed up and blood rushed to his face. Only then did Nagisa realize just how close they had gotten. 

Shit. 

Maybe Karma was pulling me in on purpose. 

I really want to….

Nagisa's eyes fell to Karma’s lips once again, which slowly formed into a small smirk that gradually widened. It was like Nagisa’s mind was being controlled as Nagisa slowly leaned in, his head pushed forward by Karma’s arm. 

What if one of my neighbors is out right now? They’ll see, and there’s no doubt they’ll tell my mom! Mom would never approve of me dating Karma! Wait. Dating? 

“Wait!” Nagisa shrieked, his eyes growing wide. 

Karma opened his eyes as though he had just awoken from a terrible nightmare, and it almost seemed as if they were about to pop out of his head. 

“What?” 

“Are we dating?” Nagisa asked, their faces still just inches apart. 

“Yeah,” Karma instantly replied. “I thought we were. Are we not?” 

“Well…” Nagisa coughed. They were so close that Nagisa could see the faint blush dusting Karma’s cheeks; he just couldn’t bear it. He averted his eyes, staring at the concrete beneath him. “We never properly established it…” Nagisa trailed off, his voice involuntarily becoming quiet. 

“Oh. You’re right. Do you want to? I can pop the question,” Karma responded blankly as if this was a regular occurrence. 

“N-no. No, it’s fine,” Nagisa insisted, waving his hand as he met Karma’s eyes. 

But to Nagisa’s surprise, Karma retracted his arm and turned to face Nagisa head-on. He grabbed one of Nagisa’s hands and held it between his hands as if he were praying. Once again, heat rushed to Nagisa’s face, and he swore his heart had been misplaced because he could feel it beating intensely from his ears. 

“Nagisa,” Karma said just loud enough for Nagisa to hear. “I really like you. Will you grant me the privilege of being your boyfriend?” 

Nagisa couldn’t stop the chuckles that escaped from his throat. “The privilege? What are you talking about?” He choked out through his fits of laughter. “You’re so dramatic.” 

Karma simply smiled. “Is that a yes?” 

“Yes, Karma. I will grant you the privilege of being my boyfriend,” Nagisa mocked, still doubling down in laughter. 

“You happy now?” Karma asked, and Nagisa didn’t miss the flush of Karma’s cheek and the twitching of Karma's eye as he let go of Nagisa’s hand.

Nagisa hummed. “Very.” 

I’m always happy when I’m with you. 

Is what Nagisa wanted to say, but knowing Karma, he would just use it against him; tease him with his signature devilish smirk plastered across his too-attractive face. It wasn’t fair. 

“Thank you, Karma, for this week. You made it ten times better,” is what Nagisa said instead, unable to control the smile that only widened. 

“Only ten times?” Karma clicked his tongue, and Nagisa punched his shoulder. “I’m just joking, Nagisa.” 

Karma stuck out his tongue and leaned forward, placing a peck upon Nagisa’s forehead that he didn’t register until Karma had already run off with his hands in his pockets, pretending as if he didn’t just reduce Nagisa to butterflies. Nagisa’s mouth dropped open, and he stood frozen in place with his face on fire. 

“Karma!” Nagisa howled, chasing after Karma. 

What if someone saw? 

What if my mom finds out? 

But suddenly, it didn’t matter anymore. Nothing mattered anymore.

In that moment, all Nagisa cared about was Karma. 

Karma, who was smiling ever so sweetly as he stared at Nagisa. Karma, who was letting out soft chuckles that Nagisa would pay to hear on repeat as Nagisa himself was reduced to laughter. Karma, who familiarly slung his arm around Nagisa’s shoulders and kissed him ever so gently. Nagisa felt Karma smile against his lips, and Nagisa realized he was doing the same. 

Time seemed to fly, for before Nagisa knew it, they were standing in front of his house with their hands woven together. Nagisa didn’t even realize when they started holding hands; it was as if they just naturally found each other. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Nagisa. Don’t miss me too much,” Karma joked. 

“I’ll try not to,” Nagisa replied with a laugh, nudging Karma with his shoulder. “Do you want to meet before school? Just on the mountain, I mean,” he clarified as his face started to heat up. 

“Hm?” Karma hummed, his smirk widening. “Sure. I’ll see you then.” 

Karma gave Nagisa’s hand one last squeeze before letting go, and Nagisa suddenly felt cold. He so desperately wanted to reach out for Karma’s hand again, but he knew that he shouldn’t. He needed to leave, but how could he when Karma, his boyfriend, was right there, looking at him with those mesmerizing eyes and that breathtaking smile that ignited a fire in his heart? Nagisa swallowed.

Karma is definitely going to kill me one day.

“Bye, Nagisa.” Karma smiled, then laughed. “You look like a little beat-up mouse. I’m not leaving forever.” 

“I look like what?” Nagisa grew red. “And I know that! I never once implied I’ll never be seeing you again.” 

“You didn’t need to say it. Your face shows it all.” 

Nagisa punched Karma’s shoulder again, trying to wipe that signature teasing smirk off his face. Then, Nagisa sighed.

“Goodbye, Karma,” Nagisa said. “I’ll see you tomorrow.” 

Karma simply hummed in return, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Nagisa tilted his head, letting his bangs fall, giving Karma another big smile and wave for good measure before walking up to the door. Nagisa took out his house keys and swiftly inserted them into the lock before turning around, giving Karma one last look.

Karma grinned and blew Nagisa a kiss, which didn’t fail to bring a blush to Nagisa’s cheeks. Nagisa simply turned back around and walked through the door, closing it tightly as he had done so many times before, but somehow, it all felt so unfamiliar; unreal. 

“I’m home,” Nagisa announced as he took off his shoes, looking up to find his mother sitting at the dining table with a paper and an envelope placed in front of her. 

“Welcome home, Nagisa!” Hiromi said. 

A phrase that should’ve felt warm; welcoming, but her face remained stern, and that tiny grin she displayed was undoubtedly forced. A bead of sweat ran down his face as she continued:

“Sit for a minute.”