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Lumine has been acting strange lately.
Verr Goldet informed Xiao that Lumine had arrived at Wangshu Inn a few days prior, looking tired and worn. Her companion had been hovering beside her, watching her with an uncharacteristically concerned expression as the Traveler acquired a room to stay in. After making the necessary arrangements, the two had stepped away from the reception desk, and Verr Goldet overheard their exchange.
“Paimon, I think I’d like a few days to stay here on my own. I just need some time to rest and recuperate after everything that happened in Natlan. Could you please stay with Xiangling for a while? I’m sure she’ll be happy to cook up a storm for you,” Lumine said quietly. Paimon frowned, wringing her hands together.
“But Lumine, you haven’t been feeling well! Paimon doesn’t want to leave you alone like this!”
The Traveler smiled. “Thank you, Paimon. But I need some time on my own to rest and sort through my thoughts. It’ll just be for a few days, I promise. Here,” she pulled out a small bag of Mora and pressed it into her companion’s hands, “some allowance you can use to buy lots of snacks. You can buy some for me too, to share when I come and find you again. How’s that sound?” She patted her head lightly.
Paimon bit her lip, the furrow between her brows deepening. She clutched the bag of Mora, before looking back up at the Traveler. “Alright, but no more than a week, okay? You’d better come get Paimon by then! Promise?”
Lumine pulled her into a hug. “I promise.”
And with that, her companion departed, flying towards Liyue Harbour. Verr Goldet had seen the Traveler’s smile droop, a shadow crossing her face as her figure sank into itself. She let out a sigh before making her way up the inn’s stairs towards her room.
“And since then, I haven’t seen her around during the hours I’m at the reception desk. It’s just so unusual! Typically she’d come by everyday to exchange a few words,” Verr Goldet had explained anxiously. “I’m quite concerned about her, Adeptus Xiao. It’s been nearly three days since then. I understand you and the Traveler are quite close, so could I trouble you to check on her when you’re able?”
Xiao clenched his jade spear in his hand, looking out upon Dihua Marsh. What could have happened to her in that foreign nation to cause Lumine to isolate herself, especially from her travel companion, this way? The last time Xiao had heard of Lumine acting this way, she had just returned from a commission in the chasm, and he’d caught a glimpse of her one of those days. Her face was pale, and her eyes red and puffy as she trudged up the stairs of the inn, an invisible weight on her shoulders.
Xiao’s fingers tightened, his knuckles turning white. The thought of Lumine secluding herself as she suffered quietly on her own made his chest twinge with pain. She had helped the inhabitants of Liyue, of countless nations with nothing but joy and generosity, but who supported her when she was at her lowest?
He recalls the oath he made to her, to come to her aid whenever she called, and feels frustration bubble up inside him. Although he could support her whenever she was in Liyue, in other nations, he couldn’t be there for her. His contract to Rex Lapis entailed for him to remain in this nation.
Xiao shook his head. Those things didn’t matter at that moment. What mattered was checking on the Traveler, and finding a way to ease her burdens. He pondered over previous times he’d spent together with Lumine. She often came to him carrying a plate of almond tofu, along with another dish she thought he might want to try, a warm, sunny smile on her face. Given he was uncertain when she’d last had a proper meal, Xiao figured a simple dish like a warm bowl of congee would be a good choice to bring.
Steeling his resolve, Xiao teleported to the kitchen of the mortal chef.
“Chef Yanxiao.” Xiao appeared in the kitchen, startling the chef as he plated a grilled fish. He jolted, looking up at Xiao in bewilderment. He quickly regained his composure, placing the dish down and bowing to him.
“Adeptus Xiao. How may I help you? Would you like a serving of almond tofu?”
Xiao shook his head. “I’d like to request a bowl of warm congee.”
Smiley Yanxiao rose, looking up at Xiao in surprise. “Certainly, Adeptus Xiao. Is this for yourself?”
“No, it’s for the Traveler. Verr Goldet informed me that she might not be well,” Xiao replied.
“Ah, the Traveler, yes. She came down to the restaurant briefly last evening and requested some food to be delivered to her room. She did not look well, if I recall correctly. I had wanted to speak to her, but I had other orders to attend to at the time. I do hope she is faring alright,” he said absentmindedly, scooping a generous serving of congee into a bowl. He topped it with some sauces and garnish before handing it on a tray to Xiao.
“Thank you, Chef Yanxiao. Have a good evening.” With that, Xiao apparated to Lumine’s room. He knocked on the door.
“Traveler?” he called. No response came.
Xiao paused, stretching his senses. Just beyond the door, he could sense a nightmare swirling, its energy dark and twisted. He heard the sound of a faint whimper. He could sense feelings of fear, sadness, desperation, and hopelessness emanating from her dreams. Xiao tightened his grip on the tray in his hands.
“Traveler, it’s me, Xiao. I’m coming in.” With that, he pushed the door open.
The room was dark, the windows drawn closed, and a certain heaviness in the room. Lumine laid in bed, shifting restlessly in her sleep. Xiao stepped closer, noticing sweat beading on her forehead, her face wrinkled in pain and fear.
“N-no…” Her voice was hoarse as she mumbled in her sleep. “No more, please…”
Xiao set the food down, reaching out a hand over her. He could sense the dream deepening, pulling the Traveler further down, down, down. He quickly focused his mind on extracting the nightmare.
“Stop,” Lumine cried, “please make it stop.” Tears leaked from her eyes, her head tossing on the pillow.
Xiao narrowed his eyes, working quickly to sever the nightmare’s grip on her, containing its energy in a small sphere, before quickly consuming it. Its taste, bitter and metallic, burned all the way down, settling in his stomach uncomfortably. His stomach lurched, nausea rising up, and Xiao began dry heaving. He was lucky he hadn't consumed anything that day, or he might have emptied his stomach on the floor of the Traveler’s room. He quickly fought to suppress his nausea, suppressing the energy of the nightmare before regaining his composure.
His eyes refocused on the traveler, still asleep, her cheeks wet with tears. Xiao reached out, his touch gentle as he wiped her tears from her face. Lumine’s eyelids fluttered as she stirred, and Xiao quickly withdrew his hand to his side. Lumine opened her eyes, her gaze finding his.
“Xiao?” she croaked. “What are you doing here?”
Xiao pressed his lips together. “You were having a nightmare.”
Lumine blinked the sleep from her eyes. “Oh, that. Yeah, I’ve… been having a lot of those lately,” she murmured. She struggled to sit up, seeming to avoid eye contact.
Xiao quickly turned to offer the tray of food. “Here. Have some congee.”
Lumine looked at the food, her gaze empty, before looking away. Silence weighed heavily in the air. Xiao’s heart clenched in his chest. He scooped up some of the congee, before holding it out to her.
“Here, you should at least have a few bites,” he said quietly. Lumine fiddled with her fingers, before looking up at him. Xiao tried to offer a semblance of a smile.
Lumine softened, taking the congee from his grasp. “Thanks, Xiao. I appreciate it.” She took a spoonful of the porridge. Xiao glanced around the room, pouring a glass of water for her before pulling over a chair to sit by her bed.
He watched her swirl the spoon through her food, her gaze distant. Xiao’s fingers curled into a fist. He didn’t know what he could do, what comfort he could offer. Being a weapon is pretty much all he’s ever known. How could he possibly hope to provide comfort to Lumine? All at once, he felt severely underqualified for this task Verr Goldet had entrusted to him.
“Xiao.” Lumine’s soft voice pulled him out of his thoughts. His eyes fixed upon her frame that seemed so small in that moment, so fragile and burdened. He shifted closer.
“Yes?”
Lumine’s fingers clenched around the spoon in her grip.
“I know you lived through the Archon War in Liyue centuries ago. How…” her voice faltered. “How do you deal with the pain of the memories? Of the things that were lost?” Her voice broke at the end, and her already small figure seemed to shrink even further into itself. Xiao pondered her question silently.
“I think…” he began softly. “I definitely struggled with the pain for many years, for centuries. After all, a lot of blood had been spilt by my own hands.” He looked down at his hands, seeing flashes of memories when crimson dripped from his fingers.
Lumine’s hand grabbed hold of his, breaking his reverie. He looked up at her, squeezing her hand, an unspoken word of thanks.
“But in recent years, probably since the events that occurred in the chasm with you and your friends, I’ve been slowly coming to make peace with the things, with the people I had lost, learning to forgive myself for the pain of living without them. I think a big part of what made that possible…” he trailed off, meeting her gaze.
“... was having you there to nudge me along. Learning to remember fond memories without the pain, and fight for what still is. You taught me that,” he said gently.
Lumine’s breath caught. Her eyes turned glassy before she looked down. She cried silently, without a single sound, tears falling from her eyes. Xiao wondered how often she had cried quietly on her own, without a shoulder to cry on. His chest seemed to hurt at the mere thought.
His hand reached out, gently wiping her tears away. Lumine’s golden eyes met his, quietly welling up with tears. He leaned his forehead against hers briefly, before resting her head against his shoulder.
“I’m here. Don’t worry,” he whispered. He felt her fingers curl into his tunic. She let out a quiet sob. Xiao stroked her hair gently.
“If you wish to speak of what’s weighing on your mind, I will listen. I’m not going anywhere,” he said quietly. Lumine’s hands tightened on his clothes, and she nodded against his neck. They sat like this for a few moments.
“In Natlan,” she began, “I saw the people fight a terrible war against the Abyss. It was awful, Xiao. So many lives were taken, people slain by terrifying monsters. I know the casualties weren’t even that many, but the destruction it wrought, and the image of the people lying slain on the ground… It brought back terrifying memories of when my homeland was destroyed. We too, had fought against a terrible darkness that fought to consume and destroy the land, and my brother and I were told to escape before it reached us. But as we were leaving, I turned back and saw the people I’d known all my life disappear before my eyes, I just—” her voice broke, and she shook her head.
“It just brought back these memories I had tried so hard to lock away, and it hurts—it hurts seeing these lives slip away, and being unable to do anything. And now even my brother has left me, and I’m scared the path he has chosen to take might lead him to destruction, and I can’t, I just can’t see him leave me like everything else in my life. I don’t want to be alone,” she said quietly, her voice thick.
Xiao tightened his grip around her. How painful it must be for her, to be stuck in this unfamiliar world, searching endlessly for her brother, while being forced to help different nations with their own problems at every turn? How lonely it must feel to journey through this world without her other half at her side? How terrifying it must be for her, fearing what might become of her brother, fearing a future without him in her world? What comfort could he hope to provide against these insurmountable burdens?
Xiao took a deep breath.
“I can’t bring back your homeland, or the people you’ve lost. I can’t bring back your brother, or the lives that were taken in that war in Natlan. But Lumine, in all the nations you’ve been to, you’ve saved countless lives. You’ve protected so many people, and restored hope to many who had lost it. For someone like me too, you taught me to find joy in living on.” He pulled back to look into her eyes.
“The lives that were lost in the war doesn’t change the fact that you’ve done so much good in this world. To live a life of hope in spite of guilt and loss, to carry on despite how hard it can be, to lean on the people by your side—you are the one who taught me that.” He brushed her bangs from her eyes.
“In this world, as you search for your brother, all you can do is continue on this path you’re on. I can’t return him to your side, but I will promise to support you in any way I can. You aren’t alone, Lumine. You’ll never be alone, so long as I’m still breathing.” He pressed his forehead against hers.
“You’ve been by my side at every step, pushing me forward. So let me do the same for you now.” He gently pressed his lips to her forehead, before pulling away once more.
A small, hopeful smile curled at the corners of her lips, her cheeks tinged pink. Her eyes shone with gratitude, and another emotion he couldn’t quite name. All of a sudden, she leaned forward, pressing her soft lips against his cheek. Xiao blinked, feeling the tips of his ears warm.
“Thank you, Xiao, truly. Your words mean more to me than you know.” She clutched his hands tight.
Xiao smiled tenderly. “Always.”
He glanced down at the half-eaten bowl of congee with a frown. Lumine followed his gaze and let out a small chuckle.
“Oh, that. Would you like to feed it to me?” she said, her tone teasing. Xiao flushed, shifting away. He replaced the bowl in her hands, his eyes averted from her.
“You have no respect for the Adepti,” he grumbled. Lumine laughed, her voice warm like the first rays of dawn. And Xiao felt his heart leap in his chest at the sound, his eyes drawn back to her smile.
After she had finished the congee, Xiao took the bowl from her hands, setting it aside on a table.
“You should get some proper rest now.” He settled back in the chair. “I’ll stay here and keep your nightmares at bay.”
Lumine smiled. She patted the space beside her on the bed. “Why don’t you come rest beside me? There’s enough space for the two of us.”
Xiao hesitated. Lumine’s eyes were wide and hopeful, and Xiao knew he couldn’t refuse her. He sighed, before removing his adornments and setting them on the table. He settled beside her under the covers, taking care to keep some space between them. Lumine’s eyes remained fixed on his back.
“Xiao?” she whispered. Her voice felt so close, her breath tickling his hair. He turned to face her.
“Yes?”
“Could I hold your hand?”
Xiao hesitantly lifted a hand to the space between, and Lumine quickly grasped it before he could change his mind. She brought their joined hands to her lips, pressing a tender kiss to his knuckles. Xiao’s cheeks flushed, his hand instinctively tightening around hers.
“Good night, Xiao,” she whispered.
“Good night, Lumine. May you have the sweetest dreams.”