Chapter Text
March 2021
Flash-news:
Hockey stars Shane Hollande and Ilya Rozanov spotted kissing in a window reflection of a FanMail video made by Hollander’s teammate Hayden Pike. It is very clear the hockey rivals weren’t aware they were being filmed. What does the league have to say about it? And more importantly, are the two rivals in a relationship?
**********
Hayden
That day was just the same as any other day. Hayden had just finished making coffee when Jackie joined him downstairs.
“Here you go sweethea—“ Hayden froze mid-sentence when he saw the look on his wife’s face.
“Jackie?” her face was pure panic. “What is it? Are you okay?” Jackie didn’t seem to hear him. Okay, now Hayden was really concerned. It wasn’t like Jackie to get like that. Usually, Hayden was the stressed one and she was the one to calm him down.
“Babe, look at me.” Hayden crossed the room, cupped her face in his hands, and tried to not completely freak out. “It’s okay, just take a deep breath and tell me what happened.”
Jackie finally looked up to meet his eyes. God help him, they were filled with terror.
Jackie opened and closed her mouth a couple of times before the words actually got out. “Have you…hum… have you been online at all this morning? Well, I guess probably not if you’re so calm.” Online? What the hell is going on?
“Honey, slow down. What are you talking about? What happened?”
She took a deep breath, like she was trying to collect herself. “You know how you do those FanMail videos?” Jackie asked. “Yes?..” Hayden said, even though he didn’t understand how that could be related to his wife’s distress.
“Okay. So, remember yesterday? Shane and Ilya were here and you went to your trophy room to film that video while they went to the car to get Chompy? So basically, you can see in the video their reflections. Kissing. Like really kissing. And you’ll probably think “okay, it’s fine, it was just for one guy.” But nuh-uh. Surprise! He posted it on twitter and now it’s everywhere.” Hayden stared at her with wide eyes while she tried to catch her breath after throwing this bomb in just one breath.
Oh god. It was not good. Actually, it was a disaster. Rozanov was going to kill him for exposing them. And Shane, oh my god, Shane will be devastated. He’ll probably never talk to Hayden ever again. Shit.
“I’m sorry honey. It’s not your fault, I’m sure Shane will understand.” He appreciated that his wife was trying to calm him down but his mind was still racing. What will the league do? His team? Shit JJ. He’s going to be so pissed too. As if on cue, his phone started ringing with JJ’s name on the caller ID. Fuck.
“Hayden, listen to me. Take a deep breath, you can’t freak out right now. Yes, it’s bad but this isn’t about you. This is about Shane. And Ilya. You need to get your shit together because your best friend needs you now. Probably more than ever. So, you are going to finish that fucking coffee, call JJ because I don’t think he’ll give up anytime soon, and then you’re going to drive to Shane’s and explain what happened. Do you understand?”
“Fuck. Okay, you’re right. Fuck.” He rested his forehead against Jackie’s and closed his eyes for a minute, letting it all sink in.
Of course she was right, this fucking nightmare wasn’t about him, it was about Shane, his very best friend in the entire world.
Shane had always been a very private person; he almost never talked about his personal life. Not even to his family and closest friends, so obviously not to the media. Shane Hollander was always known as “the perfect hockey player”, he was the most talented player, he had the highest hockey IQ in the league, he was such a good captain that he had led his team to three Stanley Cups, he knew how to talk to the press and he never, never, caused a scandal.
Well, I guess he can check this box now. Fuck.
Hayden had spent years watching Shane choose who to let into his life. He knew how much it took for Shane to open up to someone. Shane wasn’t the kind of person who asked for help. And even when he did, it was very subtle. When Hayden noticed there was something wrong with Shane, Hayden knew he would probably get a knock on his door that same evening, with a shy request from his best friend to just hang out together a bit. Every single time, Hayden was touched by that privilege.
And now, Hayden ruined it all because of a stupid bad angle in a 30 seconds’ video. Fuck. He should have watched that video before sending it. He knew they had Shane and Ilya over! What was he thinking?
“What if he hates me? I just ruined his life! Years of a secret relationship ruined by a fucking FanMail.”
Deep down, Hayden knew Shane would forgive him. Maybe that was the worst part. He could practically hear Shane telling him it’s okay Hayd. You didn’t know, it’s not your fault. But it was his fault.
He doesn’t deserve Shane’s forgiveness. He knew how badly Shane would freak out. Shane and Ilya had been hiding for years, they went through so much. The least the universe could’ve given them, was the chance to come out on their own terms. And I took that away from them.
“Babe, of course he’s going to forgive you. It’s Shane. You said it yourself he’s your best friend, you two are going to be just fine.” Thank god for his wife, Hayden really didn’t know what he will do without her.
“Okay. I hope you’re right. I love you so much. I think I need to see that video. I need to see how badly I fucked up.”
Jackie bit her lip for a moment before saying “Are you sure you want to do that?”
But Hayden already had that determined look on his face, the one he had before a really hard game. “I’m sure. I owe it to Shane. It’s the least I could do.”
Okay, it was really bad. There’s no doubt it’s Shane and Ilya. Man, and that kiss? It looks straight out a Disney movie. Well, maybe not a Disney movie because Rozanov wasn’t pretty enough to be a princess. Although, maybe the princess and the frog? Because Shane was definitely a princess. Shut up Hayden, not the point.
The thing is, no one could fake a kiss like that. There was something soft in their eyes every time they pulled away, just enough to look at each other. A look of pure happiness and adoration. Hayden had seen that look once before, on his own face, in a picture the twins took of him and Jackie laughing at some dumb joke he made. There was no way this could pass as a prank.
Hayden blew out a breath. “Fuck it’s really bad.”
Jackie laughed “At least now everyone knows they are really great kissers.”
Hayden couldn’t help but laugh at that.
“Okay, so now I guess I’m calling JJ and I’ll head up to Shane’s.”
**********
JJ
What. The. Fuck.
Is this some kind of a joke? Why the fuck was there a video circling EVERYWHERE on the fucking internet of Shane and Rozanov kissing?! And why the fuck was the video filmed by Hayden?!
After long minutes of staring at his phone, he threw it on the couch and tried to calm his anger before he could do something he will definitely regret later.
JJ started pacing in his living room. Okay, there was no way that kiss was fake. Everyone with a brain could see those two were in love with each other.
He was fine with Shane being gay. Shane was one of his best friends, of course him being gay wouldn’t change tha-. He froze at the realization.
Oh. My. God. The plane crash. Well, the emergency landing.
A couple of weeks ago, the Centaurs had to make an emergency landing. And man, in that moment Shane’s entire body just screamed complete horror. Usually, Shane was the kind of person that was able to hide every emotion going on inside. But that day he was probably so terrified, he had let it show.
At the time, JJ saw only one possible explanation – his best friend was completely in love with Ilya Rozanov. He remembered thinking poor Shane, it must be horrible to have a crush on your straight friend. Because Rozanov was definitely straight. Everyone knew that. Right? Except, apparently, everyone got it wrong. God, he had actually comforted Shane that day. He told him everything would be fine, he just had to put himself out there and the right one would come along. Of course, Shane didn’t think to tell him the right one had apparently already come along. Fuck, how could he be that stupid. That son of a bitch Hollander didn’t even try to deny or explain how much JJ had been wrong. How could he have told Hayden and not him? Isn’t he trustworthy enough?
“Fuck this shit. I’m calling Hayden” he blurted out.
And of course, Hayden didn’t answer. He tried a couple more times and then finally gave up. He decided to get into the shower to try to wash away some the hurt and anger he felt towards his best friends.
He had just finished putting on his underwear and decided to call Hayden once more. Surprisingly he answered after two rings.
Without wasting time JJ blew out “Care to explain why there’s a video of Hollander and Rozanov kissing in your fucking backyard?”. He didn’t even try to mask his anger and disappointment.
“Hi. I’m sorry you had to find out like that. I really messed up”.
“This is all you have to say to me?! “I really messed up”? why didn’t you tell me about it sooner? I fucking told you I thought Hollander had an unrequited crush on Rozanov and you just let me embarrass myself when you knew they were fucking all along!! How do you think that makes me feel?” he was practically yelling at this point.
“Okay, I get that you’re upset and you have every right to be. For what it’s worth I’m sorry. But it wasn’t my story to tell. Almost no one knew about it. They tried to keep it as secret as possible. And to be honest, Shane didn’t really tell me. I kind of guessed and he didn’t deny.” Hayden sounded way too calm about this shit compared to JJ.
“But why didn’t he tell me?” JJ’s voice suddenly came out all small, “He should have trust me enough to know I would have kept his secret.” He realized somewhere along that sentence, he now sounded more sad than angry but he didn’t have the strength to hide it anymore.
The truth is, once he’ll wrap his head around it, he could eventually be fine with that news. What really fucking hurt him was the fact he felt left out. His best friend had this huge secret and his other best friend knew about it too. And no one thought to tell him. He was the only clueless idiot here.
“I know. I’m sorry buddy. That’s a question you’re going to have to ask him. But please try to remember it’s Shane. He’s our best friend and he’s going to need all the support he can get.”
“Support ?!” okay, I guess we’re screaming again. “It’s fucking Ilya Rozanov! Of all gay men out there, it had to be him? His rival? I thought they hated each other! We all did! Even with the charity, I just thought they were just being civil for a good cause. And wait, since when Ilya is even into men?? Isn’t he supposed to be a manwhore or something?”
He knew it sounded horrible, but he was hurting too much to stop himself. And it was kind of true. Rozanov had a big reputation of being a ladies’ man. Everyone knew that. But JJ guessed he could be—.
“He’s bisexual, always had been, I guess. But again, I shouldn’t be the one telling you this. Fuck. Okay, just listen. Try to calm down, okay? And please try to understand him because he will need the support. You probably saw what’s going on in the team’s chat group and the internet. He’s going to need his best friends by his side.”
“Best friends my ass. You don’t hide that kind of shit from your best friends.” JJ threw back.
The words came out harsher than he meant them to. He didn’t really know why. Maybe the anger was still there. Or maybe, there was a little voice underneath it all that wanted to scream at the realization Shane had spent so much time carrying something enormous, and JJ never even noticed. How could I have missed something so crucial about someone so important for me?
“I get it, I was upset too at first but try to think about what I said. I need to go break the news to Shane. I don’t think he knows what’s happening yet. I’ll see you at practice. Again, I’m really sorry.”
JJ ended the call and threw himself on the bed.
He blew out a breath and yelled in the empty room “WHAT THE FUCK”.
*******
Meanwhile, Shane and Ilya were still enjoying their peaceful morning together, completely unaware that the one thing they had spent years trying to protect was no longer theirs to reveal.