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Language:
English
Series:
Part 3 of anti-propaganda AUs
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Published:
2026-07-15
Updated:
2026-07-15
Words:
375
Chapters:
1/?
Comments:
2
Kudos:
7
Hits:
90

conduct unbecoming

Summary:

“Goddamnit, LT!” Johnny exploded, stepping in front of Simon to cut him off. “Don't say you can protect me. Don’t give me that bullshit. They’re feeding me to the wolves. I know that in my fucking bones.”

His voice was shaking. His entire body was shaking. Simon said nothing.

Johnny whirled around and glared at the rest of their platoon. They were his brothers and sisters, the people he would have gone to war with, the people he’d take a bullet for. And among their placid, shocked, and silent faces, none of them could meet his eye.

or: buckle up, this is the trans ban. soap gets kicked out of the military.

Chapter 1

Notes:

the actual fic will start next chapter. here is just the warm-up.

title from the book of the same name by randy shilts

Chapter Text

The US military has a long and strained history with its trans soldiers. It's currently impossible to transition and serve. (And for those keeping track, it's not looking so hot in the UK either.) Surely this is the elephant in the fandom. Right??

The intent of this fic is not exactly to "raise awareness," as in, to explain and legitimize the experience of a certain group of people. Nor is this misery porn, for us to all commiserate together.

Rather, this fic aims to be an inward-facing dialogue: asking and answering questions that are potentially relevant to you, the reader, such as: How do we understand current events? How does this shape our future? How do we survive this? I see you queers in the chat. Gather 'round, folks. 

There is evidence that when they were allowed to serve, trans people were actually overrepresented in military service. And I have no way to back this up, but I believe that the same applies to this fandom relative to others. I mean, of course, to me there's something exquisite in CoD about gender, bodies, and masculinity.

More broadly, this narrative is not actually specific to the queer or trans experience, but about communities facing crisis. Think: mutual aid! Joy as resistance! Allyship between causes! If none of the above strike a chord in you (yet) — oh, uh, hey there. Pull up a chair. Welcome to the cookout. I’m so glad you made it, because we’re cooking up some cutting edge shit right here.

Fic may be slow to update. This shit is hard to write, but I will be highly present for discussions in the comments. I'm drawing from the following readings, which I recommend for anyone interested in this topic:

  • Randy Shilts, Conduct Unbecoming: Gays & Lesbians in the U.S. Military (1993): THE book on queer history & the military. focus on pre-DADT discharges and legal battles
  • Anthony Swofford, Jarhead (2003): manhood and the marines. I'm moving all of the characters out of the SAS and into Twentynine Palms, CA
  • Queer Militarism?! (2021), an excellent dialogue between Aaron Belkin and Dean Spade about the politics of trans inclusion in the US military. I mean, do you even want to serve? Should you? What is the appeal?

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