Archive of Our Own

“Let's end this now.”

Yuri's words lingered in the room, when Viktor's eyes widened. He saw tears gathering in the corners of his eyes, little, salty drops of a beautiful liquid running down his cheeks.
“Are … you sure about this?”
Viktor's voice was shaking as he looked up, looked into those beautiful brown eyes he fell in love with an eternity ago. He loved this man. He loved Yuri with all his might, loved him with all his heart, his insecurity, his strength, his power, his incredible ability to devour people, to cheer them up, to be a friend, to be the perfect lover. All his life he never had felt anything like this. Every day for almost a year he felt this love now, this warm, caressing, gentle love enveloping him in a feeling that he never knew before. If he had ever been in love, he was so sure, he never felt anything like this. He never felt the meaning of what true love really was.
He felt Yuri's hand on his cheek, his thumb gently caressing his skin. The way Yuri wiped his tears away, he felt like he needed to cry again.
“You know what I want you to do, don't you?”, the black-haired asked him with the gentlest smile he had ever seen him wearing. More than broken, his boyfriend, no … his fiance, look serious. He had already made a decision in his head and nobody different from Viktor knew best what the meaning of this expression was. Yuri was so easy to read. Yuri was an open book for him, a book full of pleasure and love and a book filled with pages of everything he felt he missed all his life.
“I … know ...”, he replied as he pressed his eyelids together once again, swallowing another river of tears coming up. Never would he ever let anyone see his tears, no one except this man right here in front of him. 'Skaters hearts are fragile as glass.' he heard his own voice echoing in the back of his head. And he knew, just in this one moment, that it was more than the naked truth.
“Then will you do me the favor?” Yuri stared at him so serious it almost scared him. Shivers ran through his body, tears across his face, as he nodded.
Yuri took a deep breath as he let go of his hand. Bit his lower lip as he leaned over to him and giving him a last gentle kiss on his lips. “Then …. farewell, Viktor. We'll see each other around. Promise me, you'll make it!”

It had been a year ago. Exactly a year since they parted their ways. It had been a battle and a journey. An up and down of panic, fear and motivation, a constant crawling for attention and pushing themselves beyond their limits.
From the bed he glanced at the beautiful black leather of his skates. The silver of the runners glistened from the tiniest remaining water drops on the metal. The final had just ended a few hours ago.
He knew it was not the right time to be rapt in thoughts once again since he had gotten over this situation over and over again. He noticed a slight nauseous feeling bobbling up in his stomach.
As if he would ever forget Yuri's words. Or his smile. Or his gentle touches. Or this one kiss last year after he dared to change the choreography for his skating performance just to surprise him.
God, he missed Yuri. He missed Yuri so so much ….
But he did promise it. He promised to him that they would do this. No matter how much it'd hurt. And they promised each other to stay strong.
He still remembered how the Katsuki stood up from his chair. How he said “From now on I won't look back. My future lays ahead.” and dared him to better get his shit together so that they would meet again.
And now …?
A frosty breeze of emptiness claimed his body as he wrapped his arm around his giant pillow only to sooth the loneliness he felt. Where was he, his Yuri? What was he doing just now?

A knock was to be heard at the door.
Who could this be? He knew he should be getting ready for the banquet just now, but he couldn't help it. He wasn't feeling it, like partying or celebrating when he was this down. Sure, he claimed the bronze medal but it didn't feel right o him. If only he worked a little harder. If only he pulled himself together during practice. If only he -
The door flipped open and he raised his head from his pillow in surprise. This was -
“Viktor, what are you doing in here?! Shouldn't you get ready for the ceremony?”
He blinked a few times as his blue eyes laid on a prettily dressed jap a nese man in a classic midnight blue suit. His hair was combed back, only a few loose black strands dancing along his forehead. He looked …. breathtaking.
“Lift your lazy ass, Viktor Nikiforov and hurry.”, he exclaimed.
Viktor's heart just skipped a beat.
Or two.
Right now a scene earlier this day was replaying in his head. How both of them met at the rink. Smirked at each other and this man whispered “Seduce me with all you can. Skate the way I can't take my eyes off of you… Show me your true eros..~” He remembered how his heart was beating fast. How wild it jumped up and down as he performed his squads, it's jumps completely synchronized with his own , how crazy his thoughts went as he broke down on the ice after his performance, sweat running all over his face and the numbness of giving his all took over his body. He barely made it back to the balustrade to get himself off the ice. And when he finally got himself together, this man was gone. Had he done it? Had he been good enough?
They gave each other a promise and he screwed up.
The young man in the suit came closer, Viktor was still lazing on his bed. There was no need to go to the banquet. It was complete nonsense.
“You know … they miss our third place. You're highly wanted there.”
“Aren't you the one wanted there?”, the gray-haired replied. His head was resting on his arms, he laid on his back and facing the ceiling now. “You've just won a gold medal, Yuri. You're the star of the show.” To him, Yuri had always been the star of his show. He blinked as he shifted his head a bit, side-ey e ing the Katsuki as he took a seat on the dark red silk sheets of his bed. Did he mention he looked breathtaking? Yes? Then he'd better correct it to 'out of this world'.
The brown eyes didn't let him go.
“Viktor …. Why didn't you talk to me after the ceremony?”
How in the world was this happening? And how in the world did he even get the keys for his apartment? Or … had he forgotten to lock his door because he was anticipating a situation like this? Viktor didn't even know himself.
“ You …. seemed happy without me. A year ago I saw you feeling so lost. You seemed so helpless and looking for something to hold onto. You had really taken me off-guard with your question, you know?”
Yuri gave him a gentle laugh. “We've all been growing up. I know that no matter what I do, my anxiety will never fade completely. But I learned to rely on people, that I have wonderful friends, like you, like Phichit, even like Yurio, who are here and won't let me down. No, my anxiety never fades. But you've shown me a way to battle it down. I wasn't lacking physical ability when you became my coach …. but I was lacking mental strength.” With a shy laugh he shoved a black strand of hair behind his ear. … His golden ring was glistening beautifully.
“ Yurio … How is he doing?” Suddenly Viktor felt like switching the topic. He was not ready for this talk. Not ready yet. He was afraid what he might hear and he never wanted this to end at all.
“ Yurio is still at St. Petersburg. He called me to give me his congrats.”
“I imagine him sounding pretty salty about you almost beating his record.”
The Katsuki only shook his head and laughed. “He was mostly angry about himself not participating in this season. I know he wanted to battle you so bad and still he stayed out of everything.
I visited him a few weeks before the finals. He has grown so much ….”
“ It's strange, huh?”
“What do you mean?” Beautiful dark lashes were blinking as Yuri's gaze locked with Viktor's blue sapphires.
“It's crazy. How love and affection changes us all.”
The Katsuki laughed again as he leaned a bit closer to him. He felt his gentle touch on his cheeks, light as snowflakes dancing in the winter's sun. “Love is weird.”, he agreed. His voice was so soft, so warm it melted all of Vikor's loneliness away. “ JJ got thrown off his throne and still he's better than anything else now due to the strong support of his wife and fans, Phichit claimed the top with all his love for skating. And even small Yurio made a friend he'd sacrifice the world for. He told me that Otabek asked him to train him. Our Beka wanted to become even better and to impress his friend and didn't want him to ever lay his eyes back on you. He had given him strength and the power to fulfill what he felt he was never able to achieve. Yurio had shown him that he was okay the way he was and he was okay, that he was not the ordinary skater doing ballet lesson and everything like this. Yurio showed to him that he would never leave his side and did everything a prove with staying by his side even when he got this heavy injury. He told him a season without him wouldn't be worth it and he'd skip this season. That he should recover quick so that they could skate again together.”
“ JJ married, huh?” Viktor just said out of the blue.
“Yes, he did. And he and his wife just looked the most beautiful on their wedding day.”
Yeah, he could imagine this. Both, Jean-Jaques Leroy and his fiancee were beautiful. And how beautiful must both have looked in a black suit and a snow-white dress and a veil?
A suit, huh ….?
The midnight blue silk of Yuri's suit glistened in the moonlight.
“And what about us?”, he finally asked then. “Didn't love change us a lot as well?”
“… It changed us, yes. Still, I - “
“Shut up, Viktor.”, the black-haired exclaimed as he was leaning over him. His fingers carefully sliding through the light greyish hair. “I saw how much you missed it. I saw how much you missed to skate all by yourself. You were a great coach …. But your heart belongs to skating itself and to surprise not only your audience but yourself with it. I saw your face last year, the face as you watched them skate. I thought, you looked so much in pain watching me. And I thought that I was the one keeping you from your greates t dream. You're eyes were glistening as you watched all of them and I know you saw yourself in everyone. I know how much you love to skate …. And I knew, no matter how painful it would be, I didn't want to keep you from living your passion and your dreams. This last year has been rough ….
….. I missed you, Viktor. I missed you so much~”
Viktor sighed as gentle, pink lips claimed his. As he felt himself melting into the kiss. Yes, he missed him. He missed him so so much.
When he lifted his body up a little, Yuri gave him another smile. A smile that almost knocked him out again by all the love it held and all the … affection he found in it.
After all this time, he still loved him. Always and always he had been considerate about him, had thought that it wouldn't do good if they saw each other again before the grand prix and had insisted not to see him when he was at St. Petersburg for a visit. He didn't want to keep him from training, from making his dreams come true again. 'Yuri Katsuki.' , he thought as he leaned into another kiss. 'You are incredible. … Did you do this to make me want you even more? This year without seeing you was torture!' It had never been enough for him just seeing his face on the TV screen. Or hearing his voice at the interviews. Yuri did this to motivate him. To make him give his best in order to make sure he'd accomplish his goal. But his goal was not winning a medal. It was gaining a qualification in order to see him again. To meet his fiance again and to fire him up.
'Touché.' , he thought. 'You played me well there, my sweet katsudon.'
Gently he was pulling him closer, his body wrapping his arms around the smaller one, almost as if it was a given reflex.
“Shouldn't you be at the banquet, my golden katsudon?”, the Nikiforov asked with a playful smile on his lips as he took a breath between an other bunch of soft and feathery kisses. “It's your party tonight ...~”
“If it's my party tonight, then they can wait a little longer~”
He watched as Yuri's long elegant fingers undid his own tie, slowly pulled it off his neck and threw it next to the bed with ease. “ I won the cup … and right now I'm claiming my price.”
What in the whole world was happening here? Was he …?
Viktor's mouth formed a recognizing 'o' as he realized what was going on here. He was not the only one who missed the other. He had never been.
He saw it in those beautiful brown orbs, the igniting flame of passion. “I missed you so much, Viktor ...~” , he exclaimed as he pulled him into a deep kiss. It spoke of unsatisfied desire and a hunger for physical contact.
The Russian was not the only one who felt like this all along. He had never been.
He only saw Yuri's clothes melting off of his body, only found himself completely overwhelmed by all of this. His kisses fanned the flames of his longing for him. His skin melting against the one of his fiance.
He found himself buried under his boyfriend. Shivering, as he blew exquisite kisses along his jawline and moving lower and lower.
“How do I deserve this torture, my beloved …?”, it escaped his lips as he hid his eyes underneath his arms. He was sweating and lusting for his man, but he'd never tell him. He got surprised with this. And he wouldn't want another surprise if he showed how much he reciprocated the affection that was just given to him right at this one moment.
“It's a payback~”
Yuri's dark, delicate voice echoed through the room. The only light being the moonlight shining through the window and making this moment just a little more unreal.
“It's a payback for the emotional torture you gave me all through the competition.” He heard them, the wet kissing sounds as he undid his belt, leaving the Russian with another shiver. He saw it, the little smirk on his lips as he realized how much he wanted him. “I knew you'd make it through everything with ease. But what if I failed? What if I couldn't do it? The times were so hard …. I can't image what I would have done if I lost that last cup at Zagreb. It was just enough to make it through the qualifiers.”
Viktor's belly tensed as he felt the tingling sensation of Yuri's skilled fingers tracing along the median line of his body. He bit his lips, trying to swallow a little moan.
What did happen to this shy young man he once had been?
It was no comparison to this sensual guy who was just about to seduce him. This fingertips who drove him insane by just a simple tough, who caressed his inner tights and making Viktor go crazy to the point that he just stopped thinking.
It was a relieve as his pants got undone, it was a relieve as he felt the Katsuki taking over his body. And yet, all the adventures, he knew, had only just begun.
He wasn't used to this outstanding man. Nor to his …. delicate dominance.
Once the Nikiforov had seduced him and he could still picture those cute red cheeks he had, the silent pleading for a release and this lovely quivering body. And now? … Now there was this fierce guy left and he couldn't help but to melt into a river of hot, steaming sbiten.
Never had he ever expected something like this to happen ….
His body was shaking, he was shivering and felt like he'd explode every second.
“Y… Yuri!!”, he exclaimed, not able to hold back a loud gasp. “What in the whole world has happened to you? Your …. movements are so … smooth. Hn… hngg …. God! You're … doing so much … better now!” Viktor had a hard time to hold himself back. It wasn't easy to stand the stare. The piercing gaze that ate him up all in one and wouldn't leave a single bit of him left.
His eyes were glistening. Glistening with hunger, but also with -
“ You happened to me. I got constantly threatened and was anxious … Watching your performances made me feel like I wasn't worth it. I wanted to meet you. I wanted to see you and drove myself beyond my limits. I wanted to compete against everyone and to beat them, just to meet you at this rink again tonight.
Are you … proud, my coach?~”

Maybe Viktor fell in love with his fiance again that night. Maybe they didn't attend the banquet at all. Maybe he asked his man if he was drunk again and would forget about what happened the morning after this. Maybe Yuri shook his head just to prove this would never happen again by giving him the most skillful sexual intercourse he had ever had his whole life. And maybe he wondered about the monster of a seductive, alluring man he created there.

And maybe. Just maybe, Viktor Nikiforov asked Yuri Katsuki formally to marry him the month after the grand prix final closed its curtains behind the bunch of international skaters.