Work Text:
“Hey Two-Face!” Called a red-headed Lodger from beneath the staircase where Lanyon and Jekyll had just been having a conversation about finances. “You wanna try out some scones me and Doddle made?”
Henry chuckled at the request, seemingly unfazed by the appalling nickname. “‘Doddle and I’, Sinnett, and No thank you - Not after last time!” He returned with a pleasant smile, his statement causing the Lodger - Now identified as Sinnett - to burst out laughing.
“Right! I forgot you were there for that too! Never trust Mosley around kitchens, remember that…”
His voice got quieter as he walked away, leaving behind a still-smiling Jekyll, standing next to a very confused Robert, who was shaking his head in disapproval. “Henry, why on Earth do you still allow them to call you those horrible names? Last week it was ‘Twosome’ and ‘Bits ‘n’ pieces’, now it’s ‘Two-Face’! I thought I told you to ask them to stop weeks ago.” He said to his partner in disappointment. Lanyon couldn’t begin to imagine the effect these cruel words were having on his lover, what with his already horrible mental state and all. How could he keep letting the Lodgers treat him this way?
A flicker of mild confusion flashed across Henry’s face for a second, before returning to its usual gentlemanly smile. Changing the subject, he said, “‘Henry’? You can hardly talk about ‘horrible names’ if you can’t even call me by the right one, Robbie.”
Lanyon smiled at the nickname - A playful reminder of their transparency with each other. “Oh, dreadfully sorry, Darling.” Deciding that the conversation wasn’t worth the effort, Robert kissed his crazy lover and walked off, saying something about paperwork.
——————————
HA! Oh my LORD, did you see the look on Lainey’s face when Lavender called you ‘Less-than-half-a-man’? It was HILARIOUS! You’d almost think he wasn’t in the know, if it weren’t for his newfound tolerance for me and whatnot…
Jekyll groaned at the blond’s comments, desperate for the beautiful silence that he had mere seconds ago.
Oh! And, when Griffin said ‘get the Druggie’, you wouldn’t BELIEVE how hard Lainey started choking when Rachel came over and tapped YOU on the shoulder! Oh wait - YOU DID!
Henry rolled his eyes, muttering, “Hyde, would you give it a rest? You love Robert just as much as I do. Why do you mock him so much?”
‘Cause it’s FUN! Sheesh, slow learner, ain’tcha?
“Hey blondie!” Tweedy said as he passed Jekyll, making him jump. “Ya talking ta the otha?”
The brunet chuckled, scratching his neck whilst smiling lightheartedly. “Oh, Tweedy! You caught me off guard! Yes, I was. Did you need something?”
Said man returned the smile and walked off, saying, “Ah, it’s nothing, just wondering if ya were talking ta me!” as he went.
Henry sighed fondly, before continuing to argue with Hyde all the way back to his office, not noticing Robert watching the entire time from around the corner.
“Blondie…?” He whispered to himself, before shaking his head and moving on.
——————————
“Rhubarb’n’custard, would you kindly make the cream?”
“I can do a lot more than that, love~”
“Thanks for the offer, but I would rather finish these profiteroles.”
“What’eva you say, Bready Freddy.”
Lanyon walked into the kitchens, already having a terrible day on account of going without blood for a week because of meetings, and then accidentally trying to kill a potential patron when they got a papercut. Needless to say, he did not need anything else going wrong today.
“Pass us the butter!”
SMACK!
“DODDLE!”
The rock-hard frozen butter had hit Robert smack-bang in the middle of his face, knocking him down to the ground. He groaned and slid onto his knees, glaring at the two others in the kitchen that were now in front of him, helping him up.
“I’m so sorry Dr. Lanyon,” Said Doddle, apologizing at around fifty words per second. “If I’d have seen you there, I wouldn’t have thrown it with so much force! How are you feeling? Dizzy? Nauseous? In-”
“In pain, yes. Now, why on Earth were you throwing butter around in the first place?” Robert looked between the two bakers, one of them having the decency to look guilty, whilst the other looked like they were one step away from breaking down laughing. [Can you guess which one’s which?]
“Well, you see, Brownie here-”
“Hey! Don’t blame it all on me! You were the one cooking!” Hyde, who turned out to be ‘Brownie’ (For some reason unbeknownst to Lanyon), put a hand to his chest dramatically, gasping for emphasis. Robert rolled his eyes at the childish display, then turned back to the confectioner, who looked rather annoyed at being interrupted.
“Baking, but he burst into the kitchens, sat on the countertops, and started eating all my melted chocolate! So to keep him busy, I asked him to make the cream-”
Hyde giggled at the repeated poor choice of words, but regained his composure when he saw the others glaring at him.
“-and so I threw over the butter, not expecting it to hit you in the face, Dr. Lanyon, sir. Sorry about that…”
“Doesn’t matter,” Robert brushed off, getting annoyed with Doddle’s relentless apologizing. “Have either of you two seen Miss. Pidgley?”
“Oh yeah, she went off somewhere to meet wolfboy.” The blond brushed off, wiggling his eyebrows with a smirk. “Somewhere reaaal private, if you catch my drift~”
The confectioner butted in, confused. “No she didn’t - She told me she was going to the markets because she forgot an ingredient!”
Great, now they’re arguing.
“Oh suuuure she did. Since when has Rachel ever forgotten anything?”
“Today, apparently!”
“Mhm.”
“She did! Why would Rachel lie to me?”
Lanyon sighed, and turned away, deciding he didn’t have the time for this. “Nevermind. I’ll go and find Miss. Pidgley elsewhere.” And he walked out the room, closing the door shut behind him.
He could still hear the two bickering as he left, but he couldn’t think of anything else besides finally tearing open a bag of blood Rachel promised she’d bring him back from the butcher’s. Though one thought did pop into mind.
Didn’t Jekyll get called something close to ‘Brownie’ the other day?
——————————
Jekyll, after much persuading and nagging, finally finished showing Helsby how he normally got around in the dark, misty streets of London without getting pickpocketed or murdered.
He had let it slip a couple weeks ago that he and Hyde were linked physically as well as spiritually, and so if one of them learnt something, the other could do it just as well. Naturally, being a scientist, Helsby was practically jumping at the chance to test this theory to the extreme.
After leaping off the Society’s roof and brushing off his coat, he couldn’t help but wickedly grin at Helsby’s shocked but awestruck expression.
“Woah! You’re like a goat!”
Not expecting this remark, Jekyll paused and cocked his head to one side. “Sorry - A what?”
“Ah,” Helsby said, coming out of his shocked trance that Henry’s tricks had put him in. “I meant it as in, you can scale practically vertical walls and jump between them with seemingly no effort!”
With that, Jekyll laughed softly. “It does take quite a bit of practice and effort - Not to mention mind and body altering drugs - but I’m certainly flattered, Helsby.”
“No problem! Thanks for showing me, Double Trouble-”
“Right. That’s it.” Both Henry and Helsby jumped when they heard someone angrily shout and soar in between the two, picking Jekyll up in their pursuit. “We’re going to your office. Right now.”
——————————
Turns out rock bottom is merely a suggestion when one has a pickaxe.
If almost dying of starvation, nearly killing someone, and being smacked in the face by something close to a brick wasn’t enough, the universe had decided to force Lanyon to watch in horror as his beloved partner jumped off their 3-story building, laugh about with some damned Lodger who acted as if he was the one to make his Darling do that, and then get called another one of those detestable nicknames. The universe has a very dark sense of humour, so it seems.
Forgetting everything his Father had told him about keeping up appearances in front of the public eye, Robert leapt into the air, swiftly snatching Henry away from the imposing threat.
“We’re going to your office. Right now.” Lanyon snarled, hardly bothering to put on his usual mask of nonchalance.
His darling, innocent lover only giggled at that, used to his impulsive, dramatic antics. “Robbie, you caught me off guard! Ha, literally. What’s going on?”
Was he always this oblivious? Lanyon wondered.
“I’ll tell you when we get there.” Waiting just a few more seconds wouldn’t hurt anybody, he decided. Jekyll nodded, understanding that he would get all the answers he needed in a few seconds, so no need to try and diffuse a time bomb before it had been set.
Upon reaching Jekyll’s office, Robert carefully opened the windows with one hand, whilst holding on to Henry in his other arm. He knew the window would be unlocked, because, despite his vast intelligence, Jekyll was hopeless at remembering to lock things. All human beings are commingled out of good and evil, he supposed, and this was certainly one of his beloved’s evils.
Oh well, it worked out in this case. He put Henry through the window first, then climbed on in himself, shutting it behind him.
“Have I ever told you how hot you look in that cloak?” Jekyll flirted terribly, a mischievous gleam in his eye.
This was contrasted by Lanyon, who folded his arms and glared at Henry, making him shrink back. God, why did he have to fall for this absolute idiot?
“Heh, déjà vu, amirite?” Seeing the unfazed man from across the room, Jekyll stopped trying to make light of the situation, and instead grew concerned. “Alright, what’s actually happening here? Is this some kind of-”
“Yes. Yes it is.” Robert kept his arms folded, walking towards his love without any emotion but angered annoyance on his face
“Oh. I know I’ve been pushing myself by changing a lot more often, but in all fairness, daytime was a rarity for him back then, and with the freedom of-”
“What?” Henry’s incoherent rambling - His way of trying to make sense - only succeeded in further confusing Lanyon. “You know what, never mind. Henry, you’ve been allowing the Lodgers to get away with calling you horrible names and making you do frightening things, like jumping off the roof of the Society…”
“Alright, I admit that last one doesn’t look good. But that was one time!” Jekyll paused, then reluctantly added, “No, wait…”
“Exactly my point! And this needs to stop. I can't lose you before I turn eighty!”
“…Robert, people usually die at around thirty to forty, I think you will.”
Lanyon cleared his throat, looking away from Jekyll’s gaze. “Besides the point! What I’m saying is, we need to tell them to stop.”
“But why? They’re just trying to be inclusive-”
“Henry. Darling. Love of my life.” Robert put his hands on Jekyll’s shoulders, trying to get his partner to understand just how messed up this was. “They are not trying to be ‘inclusive’. They are systematically destroying you by calling you nicknames like ‘Half-wit’, or ‘Left-Right-Centre’. What does that last one even mean? It sounds like a game played with twenty-five counters and three dice…” Lanyon’s eyes drifted off to the side, brows furrowing as if trying to remember something just out of reach.
“What?” And he snapped back to reality, his eyes back on Henry.
“Doesn’t matter. What does, mind you, is that ever since Miss. Pidgley gave that presentation on Germ Theory and the Broad Street pump, all the Lodgers have suddenly been magically granted permission to call you horrible things. It’s like they’re all in on something I don’t know, and it’s driving me mad!”
“Robert, I can assure you, there is nothing you don’t know about the situation. You said it yourself - Rachel gave her presentation, then Jasper did one after, explaining everything. You were there to witness it!”
Lanyon retracted his arms, and took a deep breath, preparing for what he was going to say next. “Darling, Jasper has never given a presentation in the entirety of his stay here.” He said slowly. He hoped Jekyll would burst out laughing and say it was just a massive joke the whole Society was in on, but he didn’t really believe that the real explanation would be so simple.
Henry’s smile returned, but only faintly. “Robbie, he gave one right after Rachel’s. As in: Not the day after, not the week after, not the month after, but approximately two seconds after.”
Lanyon tilted his head to one side. “Really? Then I wouldn’t have heard it. I left just before Miss. Pidgley finished hers, as there was no point in watching everyone file out like actors in a pantomime, and the fact that I had to get to the Carew’s residence.”
What he didn’t expect was for Jekyll to let out a soft chuckle, and cover his ever-growing smile poorly behind his hand, then crescendo into full-blown maniacal laughter, both scaring and reminding Lanyon of something he’d heard a long time ago.
After about a minute of this, Henry remembered about a lesser-known thing called oxygen, and subsided his laughter, resorting to wheezing instead as he regained his composure.
“You… You…” Jekyll had to take another second to breath. “So all this time, you’ve thought that the Lodgers were being mean for no reason?”
“…Was I not supposed to?”
“Oh my Lord…” Henry buried his face in his hands, and began to explain.
——————————
“So let me get this straight,” Lanyon said, shaking his head slightly. “You fractured your soul into another being, didn’t think to tell me when I was about to kill you, or even explain why you were out there in the first place at all, be careless enough to let the werewolf boy find out - By the way, werewolves having a really good instinct for when someone is lying is a very well known fact - and then said werewolf boy tells everyone in the entire Society, which I somehow missed out on, and now you’re allowing everyone to call you these nicknames because you’re Hyde, and you’re only telling me this now?”
“Well when you say it like that…”
Robert groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Henry motherfucking Jekyll. Why do I love you so?”
“‘Cause I’m that sexy, I had to create a whole other alter ego?” Henry tried, shrugging as a small smile crept onto his features.
“Jekyll…” Lanyon took his head out of his palms, then his eyes brightened, getting an idea. “Actually, that’s a great nickname.”
“What is?”
Ignoring his hilarious lover, Robert said, “Right. I need to go to a meeting with Lord Devere, but do not think we’re not continuing this when I get back.” And walked out the door, leaning in the doorframe. “See you later, 200% sexy!” Then he ran away as fast as he could, half to get to his meeting he was very late for, and half to get away from Jekyll as fast as he could, lest his partner saw him laughing like a fool at his own joke.
Henry was left alone in his office, frozen as the door swung shut.
Five seconds of silence. Five glorious seconds of silence. That’s more than he got in a month. But then…
Bwahaha!
Great. Jekyll rolled his eyes and made a massive effort to face his shadow without groaning. Hyde was clutching his head in the one hand, and his waistcoat in the other, laughing his metaphorical arse off.
You’re telling me old Lainey thought the Lodgers were bullying us for MONTHS?! And he didn’t even think to ask us ONCE until TODAY?!! You absolute pair of plonkers! HA!
“Hyde, would you shut it? We’re one and the same, remember?”
Shit.