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Simon had always had a difficult relationship with sleeping, for as long as he could remember.
He had blurry soft memories of his childhood, his mother cradling him close on countless occasions, soothing him late into the hours of the night. She had to have stayed up with him for hours sometimes as he cried, only now as an adult could he recognize that. It made him miss her even more.
Once he lived on Eden, they lived in communal bunks. If he hadn’t already struggled to sleep the various snores, breaths, and shuffling of the rest of his brothers would have made it impossible anyway.
Then there was Filament station.
When the COI put him in prison he never could have imagined that sleeping would be the hardest hurdle. Not other inmates, not the guards. No, it was the unending noise of the prison and the other men and women of his block all fighting their own demons endlessly. Someone was always always screaming. Crying. Begging. Yelling in anger.
He wasn’t proud of how often he had joined that chorus of the damned.
He was a frequent flyer of the solitary confinement block for any reason the guards saw fit, but he had to admit when the silence wasn’t driving him crazy it was lulling him to sleep in some exhausting pendulum.
He didn’t sleep in the lung. He fell unconscious multiple times, but he never could bring himself to lay down and rest in that coffin.
Grace said he was asleep a full week when he was brought aboard the Hail Mary. He doesn’t remember any of it, but that was probably the most rest he had gotten in several years.
Now that he had been long settled into life with Grace and Rocky, he was actually sleeping better than he had since he was a young child. When he could relax his mind and breathe through his lingering anxiety, he slept fairly normal for himself. And when the worries got to him and he couldn’t shake the panic in his stomach, he wrapped himself in Ryland’s embrace amidst soft blankets and a quilt made to protect them. That worked pretty much every time.
Except for tonight.
He had spent a decent effort on falling asleep, but it just wasn’t happening for one reason or another. He finally emerged from their cozy bed to try something else. He tucked Grace in gently as he left, smoothing down ruffled blonde hair as he left.
Rocky looked up from his project where he’d been keeping watch over the two.
“Friend Simon okay, question?”
Simon stretched his arm up over his head before he patted the xenonite wall separating them. “Yeah Rock, just can’t sleep. Gonna talk a walk, maybe sit in the window”
Rocky gave him a small nod of acknowledgment, one of many human mannerisms he’d adapted over time.
Just because he couldn’t fall asleep didn’t mean that Simon wasn’t tired though. He leaned heavily along the walls of Mary as he made his way to his garden. He checked on each plant and only had to pull a few fallen leaves from the little troughs. He sprayed water over the plants that needed it and adjusted a few of the growth lights ever so slightly it hardly mattered. He abandoned the lab after getting a small pouch of water, heading for the larger cupola window he favored.
This was his very favorite spot on Mary aside from the cozy bedding area he shared with Grace. The large wide expanse that let him admire the countless stars he now knew were alive. He’d sit here for hours some days admiring the endless star scape.
He curled up against the thick glass on one of the pillows that had ended up here permanently. When he leaned his left side against the wall, the lack of a full arm meant he could press his whole body against it like he was merging with the void beyond. He sat there breathing in the quiet for quite awhile, long enough that his eyes were finally closing as he drifted sleepily against the walls.
A noise that was almost a laugh left him gravelly. Seriously? He just needed to see the stars to finally fall asleep?
He dozed contentedly for maybe an hour or two, happy that he was at least partially resting if not fully asleep.
There was a thudding noise around the corner, and he lifted his head blearily, his hair was stuck all across his face as he blinked groggily. The sound was getting louder now, it reminded him of when there was a blockage in the pipes at Eden, something struggling to get through the system-
Rocky came tumbling frantically across the metal floor in his ball, claws slipping against the material.
oh. That definitely made more sense.
“Rocky, you okay? What’s going on?”
He was rolling over in the windowsill to face the Eridian and suddenly Rocky was singing frantic whistles. His translator was still in the bedroom, but he was still so out of it he couldn’t make out much other than his name.
His, and then Grace’s
Simon was awake now, panic slicing into his stomach and grabbing at his insides, it felt like he’d been thrown around again like in the sub, and he stood stumbling.
“Rocky- move- Move!” He side stepped the ball as much as he could, practically crawling over the damn thing. He landed on shaking feet and was almost sprinting back to the dorm.
Once he was in the doorway, he could hear the computer trying to translate the frantic notes of his friend, even as he also came rolling back into the room.
“Grace not- Rock try try try- no wake up”
His chest stuttered violently at the words he picked up, crawling into the bed where Grace was tangled up.
He was sprawled out on his stomach, it looked like one arm was stuck under him while the other was flung up over his head. The blankets and quilt were twisted around him enough to be tight against his back and waist. But it was the crying that scared Simon the most.
Where Grace's head was twisted to the side, half pressed into the mattress, he was letting out a stream of quiet words like slowly becoming more and more frantic.
“Don’t- don’t please- please stop-p” he heaved a great shuttered breath that only gave him more air to continue crying. “-can’t , I can’t do it-“ his face was red, sweat and tears smeared across his face and the sheets.
Simon frantically tried to carefully untangle the blankets, but Ryland must have been holding them in his trapped hand. He whined high in his throat, “don’t- don’t make me-please-“
“Come on Angel, wake up!” He tried to reach a hand to Grace’s shoulder, the second he made contact the man beneath him convulsed violently, a real scream tearing out of his throat.
“Stop- stOP YOU’RE MURDERING ME!!”
Simon flung himself backwards at the noise, hand burning where it had touched Grace. He could feel his heart in his throat. He felt sick.
What the fuck was he dreaming about!?!
Another sob shook the bed, Grace thrashed once but he was still mostly stuck on his stomach, trapped by the blankets. Simon was shaking too now, scared out of his mind. He had never seen Grace like this. He needed to do something. He felt like he was frozen in place. Rocky whined out something nonsensical from behind him, probably trying to get him to move.
Grace was crying steadily, frantic gasps escaping him. The arm above his head reached out and clawed at the pillow above him like he was crawling away from something. “Please- please do-n’t do it”
The arm stuck underneath him finally wedged free and reached out to the empty space across from him.
“Si-Simon- no-no- no”
oh god.
Simon really was gonna be sick. Whatever fucked up hellscape Grace was stuck in Simon of all people was apart of it.
Fuck dream Simon then. Real Simon had to move. He shoved all his panic at the back of his mind and reached out again.
This time when he reached for the blankets they gave way with only a bit of struggle. Grace still flinched and cried but Simon had to ignore it if he wanted to actually help Grace wake up.
“I can't . . . “ Grace whimpered. He sounded exhausted. He sounded broken.
“I know, I know Angel. You're okay- everything's fine” Simon's voice caught in his throat. He could feel his own tears dripping down his face now. He just tried to keep talking as he tried to get Grace to come back from whenever he'd gone.
“Come on Angel, come back to me. You're okay now, wake up”
He pushed at Grace's sides, wiggling up further in the bed to push Grace up on his side, he almost immediately breathed easier, cries softening.
“There we go, come on Ryland it's okay- it's okay-”
He pushed him onto his back, Grace hit the mattress and finally startled awake with a shriek of panic as he scrambled to get his wits about him.
“No! No - no DON'T DO IT-” He flailed across the blankets away from Simon, backing himself into the corner where their bed met the metal and xenonite walls.
Simon immediately backed off, hand in the air as his heart beat wildly in his chest. He tried to breathe deep breaths now that Grace was finally awake, the most immediate danger now past them.
“Ryland you're okay, everything’s okay,- you're here with me and Rocky and- you're safe. You're safe” Simon's voice trembled. He clenched his fingers in empty air to keep them from shaking more than the rest of them.
His head fell back, he felt half out of his mind and his body as he panted from the adrenaline rush that was fading. His hair stuck to his sweaty forehead and he felt another tear drip off his face and hit his shoulder. He couldn't imagine how terrified Grace probably was.
There was a long moment where the two of them were completely silent save for their harsh breathing. Simon rolled his head forward to focus back on Grace.
He had backed himself in fairly well, he had to admit. His back was completely protected by the walls which allowed him to scan the room safely. His eyes were wide as he moved to try and look everywhere all at once. His chest still stuttered quick sharp bursts, half way to hyperventilating.
“Angel, can you look at me?”
He jumped frantically to look over at Simon, squinting. He probably needed his glasses. He grabbed at his sleep shirt and clawed at his ribs as he tried to understand what he was seeing.
“S-Simon?” He muttered.
“Yes- yes I'm right here Ryland, just try to breathe”
Rocky let out a crooning mournful sound that set Grace off again, he twisted to frantically look over at the alien from where he had carefully wedged his ball out of the way.
“Rocky? - Rocky, you- you're here?”
Rocky scuttled a bit closer now, claws tapping gently against the ground. Grace swayed a bit closer to that side of the room and Simon reflexively leaned back to give him more space. Keeping his distance to make sure Grace still felt safe.
Grace still shook badly as he crossed over to the edge of the bed, tentatively reaching out with his burned arm to rest his trembling fingers against the xenonite. Rocky thunked his carapace into the other side to close the distance.
“Grace okay now, statement. Bad bad bad dream over. Grace safe with Rocky Simon”
At the mention of the other's name, Grace's breath caught in his throat. He spun to see Simon again as he kneeled nearby, trying to make himself as small as possible.
“Simon?” this time Grace’s voice sounded steadier, like he was finally seeing Simon outside of whatever nightmare that he'd been caught up in.
Simon nodded shakily, resting his hand against his thigh as he hunched his shoulders. “it's okay. You're okay”
Grace's eyes visibly welled with more tears- Simon wasn't sure where he managed to keep them all- in between one breath and the next he was clumsily scrambling over the piled blankets over to Simon, who flinched backwards out of instinct before letting Grace do whatever he needed to do.
“you're okay- you're okay” Grace kept mumbling to himself. Finally he pulled himself together enough to climb over Simon in a way that seemed protective over him when it had been Grace having the all out night terror.
Simon just let him. It's not like he ever had any objections to Grace climbing him before. As two shaking fists clutched at his shoulders for dear life and Grace buried his head in Simon's neck he simply leaned back into the wall he'd backed himself against.
His hand came out carefully to touch Grace's knee. He flinched but instead of backing away from Simon's touch he dug himself in closer like he could climb inside Simon's chest.
“You're okay,” he mumbled into the blonde head of hair at his jaw. He pressed a kiss to the skin behind his ear. “It was a bad dream. You're safe.”
Ryland was still trembling, even as Rocky rolled over as carefully and quietly as he could to Grace's other side.
“Grace safe. Safe safe safe”
The two of them sat there for few minutes as Grace tried to come back to himself.
“You're okay- you're safe. They didn't- they didn't get him.” Grace murmured into Simon's throat, sending shivers down his spine for multiple reasons. He ran his hand across the scientist's leg, trying to keep him aware.
“What happened Angel? How do I help you?”
Grace sucked in a breath. He clutched at Simon so hard he thought there would probably be marks in the morning that he wouldn't care about- because he was being helpful.
“You can't- you can't let them get you- they can't have you- they can't they can't-”
“Hey- hey Ryland look at me, come on,”
He lifted his hand to bring Grace's face up.
His eyes were bloodshot as tears were still slowly streaking down his face, he was red and blotchy from crying for so long. He looked at Simon like he was scared for him and not of him, which was a strange but welcome change of pace.
“Nobody is getting me or you, we're safe. We are safe on Mary. You, me and Rocky- everything's okay.”
His eyes fluttered closed like he wasn't in control of it, breathing faster again.
“They can't get you. They can't get us anymore. They- they always catch me but- but they, they can't have you. You're okay- you're okay”
“Grace you have to breathe, who's trying to get you? I'll kill them” he said gruffly. He tried not to think about how absolutely absurdly serious he was. All the times he'd killed he'd never enjoyed it. Never once had he done it for anything more than it being his duty as The Butcher. Even at Filament he hadn't wanted to kill those people.
The ease of which the sudden and unparalleled thought of gutting whoever had scared his Angel this badly should probably concern him. He'd worried about it later.
Ryland let out another heartbreaking whine from above him, Simon leaned forward and pressed his own forehead against Grace's; he kept himself there even as Grace pressed back into him so hard it was borderline painful. But Simon was used to pain- he was going to endure whatever he had to to make sure Grace knew he was safe.
“Hey Sunshine-” Grace shuddered. He'd been holding onto that name for a while but it was a trick he was willing to pull now. The way Grace trembled with fear, tears rolling down his face as he tried not to make any noise was enough to fucking kill him. “Come back to me, I'm not gonna let anyone hurt you, you know that- you have to”
Grace's eyes stayed closed, but Simon drank in the sight of him so close. He pressed back against him a bit as he sniffled, trying to get his bearings. He raised his hand up to cup the side of his face and Grace practically fell against it. He cradled him as close as possible, trying to convey just how precious the other was to him.
“S-Simon” Grace stuttered out.
“I'm here. I'm right here”
“They- they didn't get you. They didn't hurt you.” He said more to himself
“Who Ryland? Who do I have to kill? I swear I'll fuckin do it.” He didn't want to scare Grace right now but he was so so fucking scared himself.
“The- the guards-” Grace cut himself out.
“They- Stratt's men. I couldn't- I couldn't do it.” Another tear rolled down his cheek but this time Simon was there to swipe it away.
Something bumped him, Simon jumped slightly, clutching Grace tightly as he spun to look at the noise. Without Simon keeping his head up Grace fell back into his neck. His fingers finally unclenched and he went from gripping Simon's shoulders for dear life to throwing his arms over Simon, resting heavily over him. His half limp body heaved with his breathing so much it pushed at Simon's chest in tandem.
Simon ran his hand lightly over Grace's spine as he looked at Rocky. He had transferred himself back into his tunnels and sat close against the wall, nervous tapping his claws against it to focus on the two men.
“Rocky… Rocky know what Grace dream about”
“what? What?!” Simon tried not to yell but he was still actually really freaking out a bit.
Rocky swayed back and forth, as if deliberating to tell Simon.
“Grace tell Rocky, before Simon come on ship. Grace come on mission because other scientists die. Last resort. Grace scared. Grace say no. Evil Stratt chase Grace.”
Rocky paused, seemingly shaking slightly with what had to be righteous fury.
“Humans force Grace on ship. Rocky hate humans. Rocky hate Stratt.”
Simon's stomach recoiled with revulsion. They- the people on the project with Grace, they forced him to go on the mission- they chased him down.
They murdered him.
Simom's next breath was ragged, he choked on nothing but air as he pulled Grace closer to himself as if he could go back and save him from such a fucking awful fate. Even if he didn't meet him. He couldn't wish something so horrific on someone as beautiful as his angel.
Grace's voice was so quiet he almost didn't catch his words, he felt them against his throat more than heard them.
“I haven't- the dreams, they went away but. . . . I don't know what happened. I couldn't- I couldn't get away and then there in the, the dirt. They uh . . .”
Grace cleared his throat wetly, hands clenched against his back from where they had fallen.
“You were there this time. I couldn't, I couldn't get to you.” His voice cracked.
Simon shook once, hand stilling against Grace's lower back.
“I would have fought them off for you. I would have killed them to keep you safe” his voice was flat. It was The Butcher's voice. He almost startled himself with how quickly the words spilled out of him, but Grace burrowed himself closer with a broken laugh.
“I think they were killing you this time. I couldn't, I couldn't reach you but there were so many of them. They drugged me- just like- like before. But I think they were killing you”
There was a beat of silence before Grace let out one wet sob.
Simon moved to cup the back of his neck, gently pulling his face up.
Grace looked down at him with something dark and sad in his eyes. He looked almost broken.
Simon shuffled until he could pull one of Ryland's hands to where his jaw met his neck. The soft, unscarred side of his face left no room to miss the frantic pulse that stuttered out from him. Grace's eyes cleared with understanding, and then he was holding both hands gently at Simon's neck, cradling him at his pulse points.
“I'm alive.” Simon muttered. “I'm real” he said quietly, thinking back to that night so many months ago where Grace had fought just as hard for him.
Grace just breathed quietly above him, eyes focused on his hands.
“You're alive” he whispered. Simon felt his breath against his face. He wrapped his hand against Grace's wrist in tandem, feeling for his pulse. He leaned forward to press their foreheads together again. That had been nice, feeling the warmth of the other's skin, the rush of air as they breathed.
Simon closed his eyes, finally the panic and adrenaline started to drift away. Grace was okay- he was alive, draped across him like the world's best blanket. He felt him push forward to press a kiss against his lips, it wasn't anything other than the warm reassurance that the other person was alive. Grace moved back to lean down to press his lips to Simon's pulse now, as if trying to taste it. He could feel how he moved his lips to shape words that he couldn't quite make out. Thumbs brushed at his neck softly, he hummed out a sound that he hoped conveyed his contentment. He felt distance from his body in a strange way, probably from the adrenaline and the exhaustion plaguing him in equal measure. He struggled to orient himself properly, still shaking slightly.
“hey,” he mumbled softly, Grace made a noise of acknowledgement against his throat. “can I, would you hug me like, really tight?”
Grace nodded from his place against Simon's collarbones, moving his hands from his neck to wrap around him from underneath his arms, he could feel Grace actually wrapped his hands around each other before he squeezed with no small amount of strength.
Simon groaned low in his chest at the pressure. It was the perfect amount to help him feel centered and present again. He wrapped his arm around Grace's waist and hugged him back, though not nearly as tight. Instinctually he swayed them back and forth slightly and Grace hummed against his neck in approval.
The other man squeezed him tight one more time before relaxing a bit. “How's that?” Grace whispered as he laid his head down on Simon's good shoulder so he could look up at him.
“perfect,” he responded, leaning in to press another kiss to his head, “you're perfect”
Grace hummed out a noise that sounded vaguely disbelieving, and also exhausted.
Simon ran his fingers down Grace's spine.
“Do you want to try going back to sleep?” He said softly.
Grace tensed against him. “I . . . I don't know . . .” he trailed off, Simon listened closely for any note of fear in his voice.
“what if,” he racked his exhausted mind for an idea “what if we put on a movie and, uh, I'll fix the bed.”
Grace lifted his head to look at him, eyes squinted in confusion.
“fix the bed?”
“Here hold on,” instead of moving Grace off of him he gathered his strength and lifted the other man with him, adjusting and moving the two until they were at the foot end of the bed. Only then did he let go of Grace with a warm kiss to his brow.
“wait right here”
“okay” Ryland's voice was almost inaudible now.
Simon turned to the bed and began working things around. He heard Rocky come closer again, speaking to Grace in low tones that the translator didn't catch. He felt bad that they had probably traumatized the poor little guy with their combined night terrors.
“There” he nodded.
He'd pulled the pillows up and stacked them against each other and the wall, folding their quilt and several other blankets to make almost a makeshift couch. He only saved one blanket from being folded, the lightest one that wouldn't get tangled very easily.
“Come here Angel,”
He eased Grace back into bed, putting him on Simon's usual side, with open access to the room and less confined space. He propped them both up against the wall so that they weren't actually laying down, and grabbed the laptop from where it was laying by their little makeshift sidetable.
Once he settled himself back against the pillows and covered them with the blanket, Grace wedged himself into Simon's side immediately. One hand curled into the fabric of Simon's shirt as he laid his head against his shoulder.
“Can you think of a movie to watch?” He laid his own head atop Grace's again as he scrolled through the endless movie collection at their disposal.
“Mmph, go to uh, the favorites right there . . . This one. It's a movie about a book- but it's nice. It's a love story . . . .”
He glanced down to see if Grace had somehow already fallen asleep, but his eyes were open, simply staring at the laptop quietly.
He pressed play, only waiting a moment as Rocky quietly shuffled over to see from his spot in his tunnels. He had his little crystal camera and screen reader at the ready.
He ended up liking the movie a lot. It wasn't one he'd seen yet, but even with his limited understanding of movies, the character that read the book did a good job of narrating some of the difficult stuff, though that was probably because he was reading to a child.
He liked the love story at the beginning, but Ryland should have warned him about how the one guy died. That was not fair. He felt so bad for the girl, she was so in love that it almost killed her.
He thought he might be able to relate.
Grace was asleep maybe twenty minutes in, which was fine by him, especially when the eels were on screen. That had scared him and Rocky and the little boy in the movie.
“Eels make bad bad bad noise. Scary noise”
“Yeah fuck they don't normally do that I think.”
He liked the one sword wielding guy too, especially when he explained his motives to the pirate. The sword fight was cool, and he liked that the pirate guy actually let the swordsman live, but he couldn't figure out why the pirate was after the princess, maybe he was working for the prince?
And then the princess pushed him down the hill. As he went tumbling he shouted back to her.
As you wish!
Simon sat up at the same time Rocky let out a whistle of surprise. He jostled Ryland slightly but he stayed asleep.
“Oh my fucking God! No way- no fucking way!”
Rocky nodded next to him
“Yes way!!! Pirate is good guy!!”
Simon actually had to laugh, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as the princess threw herself down the hill when she realized that the pirate was her long lost love in disguise. When they reunited he looked down at Ryland, face softening.
“I fucking love this movie now”
Rocky let out a whistle of agreement.
Twenty more minutes later, Simon was taking back what he said. This movie was awful. The two lovers were reunited, only to have to run away from the asshole prince- into literal hell. Then they almost died multiple times. And the prince caught them anyway!
He glanced down at Grace to avoid watching as the prince tortured the pirate. Ryland had explained to him over and over how actors and movies worked, but this felt a little too real to him.
The pirate was crying now. He thought about how hard he’d cried alone in the sub, arm throbbing in agony. He buried his face in blonde hair and breathed in the smell of the soap they had aboard the Mary and the natural smell of Ryland he’d like to think was like sunlight.
Grace shifted, waking up slightly from his motions. He hummed softly and raised his hand and tangled back into Simon's shirt, his nails scratched at his side as he tried to pull himself closer.
It smarted just a bit, but that helped remind him where he was, who he was with. He pressed his lips into Ryland’s temple and sighed. The blonde blinked sleepily at the screen in their laps as he processed the scene.
“. . . Oh, it’s okay Si, he lives. The prince, he’s just-“ he paused to yawn, jaw cracking, “he’s just jealous” he snuggled back down into his shoulder. He fell back asleep just as quick as he woke up.
Simon turned back to the movie, glancing over at Rocky who looked very focused for someone with no face.
“You okay?”
”Rocky think Grace thinking different movie”
Simon laughed. “Maybe”
He turned his attention back to the scene. If Ryland said the pirate lives, then that means that he gets rescued- right?
Apparently not. Simon actually jumped out of his skin when the pirate screamed his dying breaths. Jesus fucking christ, he scrambled to turn the volume down as he and Rocky flinched from the cries.
The Pirate fucking died.
Simon stared at Rocky in stunned silence. Rocky actually turned his carapace more towards Simon in tandem. He was tapping one claw rapidly against the ground.
“Grace big fat liar. Statement.”
Simon put his hand over his face as the scene changed. He sighed heavily.
The swordsman and the giant found the Pirate's body, and brought him to a weird old guy. The guy was weird and dumb Simon found out. There was no such thing as mostly dead! There was dead and there was alive.
Rocky disagreed with him shockingly.
“Are you kidding me?”
“No. Rocky Grace find Simon ‘mostly dead’ Simon live! Simon live and Grace happy happy happy”
He wasn't sure what he could say to that. The pirate guy did actually come back to life after that so Simon supposed he had to just let the damn movie happen one way or another.
The movie continue on and on in a tangle of chaos with dreams and fire and arguments and the worse movie wedding Simon had seen (he'd seen maybe all of four at this point) and then-
-He was watching the princess raise the knife to her chest now, his whole body tense. They hadn't ever watched any movie where something even close to this happened, surely she wouldn't- she couldn't- the pirate had to be close-
And there he was.
The Pirate had been in her room the whole time? Simon fumed slightly, he could have stopped her sooner for fucks sake! But then they were kissing and making up and then the prince was back trying to split them up again.
He was very impressed with the pirate's speech about what he'd do to the prince. Rocky concurred.
Then they were all just, riding the horses into the sunset? But what happened to the pirate and the princess? And the swordsman was actually really injured- like on the verge of death injured.
And where were they going?
Simon left out a sigh. The movie was . . . Pretty good. He could see why Ryland liked it. He probably just needed to watch more movies.
Rocky went to sleep after the movie, with a promise from Simon that he'd stay awake.
He was definitely not sleeping anytime soon. He'd be fine, he really wanted to watch over Ryland anyway.
He shifted around, trying to get comfortable now that the movie was over. He carefully arranged Grace back into the little alcove of pillows, still propped up to keep him from laying back or moving too much. He was deeply asleep at this point, it freaked Simon out how limp he was, checking his pulse several times. He rationalized that he had probably spent a lot of energy earlier.
He curled up in what little space he'd left for himself in the bed, wrapping himself around Grace protectively. The movie had been a welcome and weird distraction, but now in the silence of being the only one still awake, the words were echoing around his head again.
“You're murdering me”
Just thinking about it made him panic. The thought of Grace enduring all that he did. He swore that no matter what happened, he'd keep his angel safe now. He had something worthy of protecting now. Nothing on Eden, not even the last tree- had even meant as much to him as the man in his arms. The last tree had been a shining beacon of hope, but it hadn't pulled him from that god-forsaken submarine, it hadn't cleaned his injuries, it wouldn't have held him close with the tender care that this man had.
He could hardly believe just how much Grace cared. Not just for him, for everything. The way he cared for Rocky, for his experiments, the damn robot nanny arm. Grace lived life like he could give and give and give. And somehow by the time he met Simon he still had kindness to spare.
He leaned over Grace, watched him breath gently. Nothing in his demeanor or facial expressions hinted at the panic he'd faced hours earlier. He leaned down and pressed a kiss to the corner of his lip. Then his cheek. His forehead. The bend of his nose where his glasses sat when he wore them correctly. The corner of one eye where the tears had fallen endlessly earlier. The hinge of his jaw. The other eye.
He felt like he could memorize the planes of his Angel's face if he kept at it. He would know every inch of Ryland Grace if it killed him. He noted absently in the back of his mind that this what was worship was meant to feel like.
Ryland didn't stir. He just sighed gently, air whistling between them in the quiet room. He rested his chin atop Ryland's mess of blonde hair, nuzzling in close. His one arm ran back and forth across the wide expanse of Grace's ribs and up around to his shoulder blades. He could feel where his shirt had been soaked through with sweat, he could still make out the damp ring at the collar of his shirt from his tears.
He was going to be okay. He had to be. Simon would make sure of it- Rocky would obviously help him happily; the two of them were always on the same page when it came to Grace's health and safety it seemed.
He passed the time slowly, but he was content to take in the silence. He thought about what they'd do in the morning, he rearranged the blankets numerous times, eventually he turned and read more of the book he was currently getting through about earth plants for several hours. All the while he periodically checked on Grace, mapping the freckles scattered across his cheeks, checking his pulse, measuring his breathing. He was probably going a little too far when it came down to it but he couldn't bring himself to care. Who was going to judge him? Not Rocky, who was also fairly frantic when it came to their crewmates safety, not Armando- the robot was literally made with safety in mind. The vast expanse of space beyond the windows of Mary was known for its silence, and therefore it also had no comments.
He flipped through his tablet filled with books- Ryland had called it a Kindle- he was almost done with his plant book but didn't want it to end just yet. After a few minutes of scrolling he actually stumbled across the book in the move they watched. Grace had explained before that books were often better than the movies they were made into, or at the very least, the explain more things or had additional storyline that were left out of films for the sake of time.
He clicked on it, bringing up the first chapter. The movie was pretty good but maybe the book would be even better.
~~~~~~~~~~
He was halfway done with the book when Rocky came out of his sleep cycle, he shook himself and stretched all five spindly limbs before letting Simon know he was going to go work in the laboratory on an engineering project, but he could still watch Simon from afar if he needed to sleep.
The book was actually really good, but it couldn't stop the yawn that cracked his jaw when he finally set the little device down to the side. He scrubbed his hand over his face and tried to ignore how crusty he felt.
Laying his head against Grace's shoulder, he closed his eyes and vowed that when they woke up, things would be better. He would keep his Angel -his sunshine- safe. He would make Grace understand how much he was cared for. How much he was loved.
The thought sent a warm tingling feeling through his whole body, radiating out of his chest gently.
He loved Ryland Grace. He would probably do anything for the man, not that Grace had many requests.
When he did have them, and Simon would take care to convince him that he could voice his needs, he would be ready to fulfill them with a full heart. He was drifting off to sleep just as the thought crossed his mind.
‘As you wish, Angel’