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So if you wash your hands of where you've been until you flood the second floor
Neatly fold your skeletons, but still can't shut the closet door
The only ones in need of love are those who don't receive enough
So evil ones should get a little more
~’Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)’ By Will Wood~
“So you,” Leo said, pointing at Splinter, then slowly pointing at himself, “Want to spend time with me?”
“Yes.” Splinter said back, firmly and, hopefully, carrying the conviction he felt.
Leo laughed, natural seeming; like he was surprised yet delighted.
If not for the gleam in his eyes.
A gleam that had once been hopeful and loving. . .
“Look!” Leo exclaimed, the six year old holding up a docile Donnie's arm, the other tot sighed performatively, but held out his arm to see.
It was wrapped in bandages.
“Blue!” Splinter snapped, sitting upright, “What did you do!? Did you hurt Purple!?”
Leo looked confused, he turned to Donnie, chirping out a questioning sound. Donnie shrugged, then faced Splinter, “I'm not hurt.”
Leo still couldn't speak very well, often relying on Donnie for a translator, and now that Splinter knew, well, he didn't feel much better.
“So you wasted the bandages for nothing!?” Splinter snapped, pushing Blue out of the way and grabbing Donnie’s arm, ripping off the cotton and sighing in annoyance.
“Book!” Leo said, as if that would explain everything, he pointed at the bandage then Donnie's perfectly fine arm.
“No! Don't go and ruin a book like you ruined these!” Splinter yelled, pinching the space between his brows, and muttering, “Why do you have to be so stupid?”
Leo let out a pained sounding chirp and turned, running away and disappearing in the tunnel that led to his room.
“He was trying to recreate a wrapped wound, from a medical book,” Donnie said softly, looking down at the floor.
“He clearly couldn't do that based off pictures alone. It wasn't done properly.” Splinter said, as if he'd gotten a look at it, there was no reason to try and encourage them to waste more supplies.
“Nardo can read,” Donnie whispered, “Even faster than me.”
“Blue likes to lie a lot,” Splinter said, slightly condescending as he pet Donnie on the head and stood up, “He's pretending to so he can do things like this.” He said, gesturing to the mess of bandages in front of him.
Years later, when he watched as Purple had created an entire med bay for Blue on their thirteenth birthday and Blue was flitting around the space, excitedly examining each took with methodical profession, Splinter realized he'd been wrong.
Yet he never said anything.
A crack. Small and unnoticeable. Like an ant from a skyscraper.
Yet with the power to destroy and completely collapse-
“Yeesh, Splinter,” Leo said, unaware of the way Splinter's stomach turned at the use of his name, “Is this like that time you were so tired you mixed me and Dee up? He's in his lab, go ahead and ask him!”
Before Splinter could say anything, Leo turned and left, somehow making his escape look like a casual saunter.
“That didn't go well,” Mikey said, from where he'd been shamelessly eavesdropping from around the corner. Splinter was too disappointed to care.
The rat sighed heavily, “No, it did not. I don't know how to approach him or make him listen.”
“Leave that,” Mikey said, cracking his knuckles and pointing his thumb at his plastron, “To me!”
. . . . . . . . . . . .
Three weeks later. And Splinter and Leo were walking around the surface together.
Splinter smiled, slightly amused at the thought of how long it had been. It sounded like a time card from a show Blue used to like. Square sponge Round pants? No that wasn't right. No matter, he'd ask Blue at some point.
Mikey had talked with Leo every single day, and eventually Leo had agreed to the most simple outing; walking around the park together and then stopping for ice cream afterwards.
Leo was rambling about something Donnie was making, he didn't fully understand, but just knew that it was ‘so cool,’ and as time went on, Splinter began to notice a strange pattern.
Leo had talked about Raphael, Michelangelo, Donatello, and even April. But never once himself.
“My son,” Splinter said, interrupting Leo's ramble (that had turned to this new move Raph was trying out in training), “I think your love for your brothers and sister is admirable, but I want to hear about what you've been up to.”
Leo shrugged, a relaxed grin on his face, “Eh, same old, same old.”
Splinter felt guilt stab him in the heart full force at the realization, he had no idea what ‘same old’ meant for Blue. In fact, the only hobbies he could think of were that, um, Blue liked medicine and, uh, some of the same shows and comics as his other sons?
“Such as?” Splinter asked softly.
Leo's smile sharpened, his shoulders stiffened a bit, barely visible, before it was covered by a perfect porcelain mask; bright smile, relaxed features, not a single crack in its surface.
Splinter felt sick.
“Y'know, the usual for ol’ Neon Leon,” Leo said with a shrug, grinning.
“I'm sorry my son, I'm afraid I don't know what the usual is,” Splinter said guiltily, shamefully looking down at the ground, “Would you tell me? I know it is my own fault I don't know, but I would like to.”
Leo stopped, standing still and freezing.
“Blue?”
Leo slowly turned to face him, face unreadable but the smile on it felt faker than the others. Unlike the sturdy brick walls he'd always had up, this smile was glass.
Thin, weak glass that could shatter at the slightest thing. Shatter and reveal the scared boy beneath.
The boy who'd only ever wanted his father. . .
“Daddy!” Leo cried, hand clamped over a large cut on the side of his head, blood dripping down to the floor below.
Splinter slowly turned to look at him, eyes hazy as he took in the crying, slightly swaying six year old
.
“It hurts,” Leo whimpered, sniffling as more tears streamed down his face.
“. . .go to Red.”
“Blue, I-”
“No.” Leo said, turning to face him, expression darkening into a rage.
The coldness in his eyes had more ice than other blizzard could ever dream of. His very pupils seemed darker than ink, threatening to swallow up anyone who dared to try and find what was beyond their surface.
The darkness, the coldness, the anger was bubbling to the surface, and now the pot was boiling, threatening to overflow and burn anyone who dared to even touch the lid.
“You don't get to do that.” Leo said, smile bright and shiny, like cheap plastic, a poor imitation of the real thing. It reminded Splinter of Big Mama; how her fury and cruelty was hidden by her fake fake fake exterior, “Not anymore.”
“I- I don't know what you mean,” Splinter stammered, fear making him do so. Why? Why am I afraid of my own son? Of the little Blue who just wanted to be held forever and ever-!?
“I think you do, Splinter,” Leo said , straightening up and reminding Splinter that all his sons towered over him, reminding him of how much they'd grown without him, “I think you know all too well.”
“I-” Splinter trailed off, unsure of what to say. What to do. What had set Blue off?
As if reading his thoughts, Leo spoke up, “Y'know, I've always had a soft spot for Mikey. When we were little, taking the blame for him, not getting mad when he said I did something when I didn't. To even now, like helping him paint and even stealing him extra art supplies.”
Splinter stared, waiting and confused. Where was this going?
“But lately he's becoming really unbearable.” Leo said casually, inspecting his nails casually, “Like making me do things I really don't want to do-”
“I-”
“Like,” Leo interrupted, tapping a finger on his chin as if thinking, “Oh, I dunno, ‘Hey Leo! Draxum's our creator so you have to forgive him and let him be out new Dad! Who cares that he dropped you off a building!? That's in the past!’”
“Orange wouldn't say something like that,” Splinter defended, without even thinking, “If you talked with him, I'm sure that-”
“You know he threatened to force me to go on a rooftop with Draxum as a trust exercise,” Leo said, back to that casual tone.
Splinter was stunned, eyes wide and mouth agape.
Blue had to be lying. Orange would never do that!
“I bet you think I'm a liar,” Leo said with a smile, “He threatened me with that if I didn't talk to Draxum while he was over on his birthday.”
Splinter was about to object, but then he remembered. Leo had spoken to Draxum almost non-stop on Orange's birthday.
And now that he thought about it. . . Blue had seemed so frantic during it.
So afraid. . .
But still, it just. . .wasn't possible! Orange would never!
“He threatened me today too,” Leo said just as casually, “Said he'd make me go with you and Draxum if I didn't, and he'd get Raph to make me. Maybe even steal my sword so I couldn't bail.”
“That's-!” Splinter went to object, to deny it like he was used to. So used to denying Blue anything.
“Lemme guess,” Leo said, laughing in a way Splinter had never heard from him, “‘That’s impossible, Blue! You're lying! My sweet, wonderful Orange would never! How can you be so awful and cruel! I should have left you in that lab!’”
“I would never say that!” Splinter cried, horrified as Leo cackled at his yell.
“Maybe not the last part,” And Splinter froze, caught. Because it was pretty close to what he'd been thinking;
‘That’s impossible. Orange wouldn't do that to you. It maybe have seen that way!’
Or, the more damming thought, ‘Don’t lie, Blue.’
“Y'know, Splinter,” Leo said, turning to admire the view of the park, before looking back at Splinter over his shoulder, “Out of everyone in our family, I think I've always hated you the most.”
Splinter froze, eyes going wide and jaw dropping.
Because family wasn't supposed to hate one another ever. And Blue had said the most. Did that mean he hated the others too!?
“My son-! I-! I mean-! You hate your family!?” Splinter gasped after a few false starts.
Leo laughed, throwing his head back and cackling, he wrapped his arms around his middle, laughing so hard his stomach hurt.
“What a stupid question!” Leo giggled when he'd finally managed to calm down.
Splinter was stunned, unsure of what to say at Leo's hysterical laughter.
“You quit being my family years ago,” Leo said, suddenly in Splinter's face and poking him in the chest, “And the others are quickly following. But I'll be honest ‘cause you are my Dad, no matter how much I hate that fact.”
Leo spun around, flipping his mask tails over his shoulder and looking back with an, what Splinter could only describe as, evil smirk, “I hate you the most and Donnie the least.”
With that, he walked away, leaving Splinter to stand stunned in the middle of the park.
He felt a tear splash onto his fur, and dimly realized he'd been crying since Blue had said he'd hated him.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . .
“Orange!”
“Yeah Dad?” Mikey asked, poking his head out of the kitchen, he was stirring a bowl of something and had flour all over his face and plastron.
Splinter rushed into the kitchen, quickly making sure no one was around.
“Is it true that you threatened Blue into talking with Draxum? And then threatened him to talk to me?” Splinter asked, voice low.
Mikey grimaced, “Threaten is a, uh, strong word-”
“Orange!” Splinter exclaimed, stunned and horrified.
Blue was telling the truth.
How many times had he before and Splinter didn't notice? Didn't care enough to notice?
“Aw, Dad!” Mikey complained, “He was just complaining so much and being so rude to Barry! And you seemed so sad, I did what I had to-!”
“No!” Splinter exclaimed, it felt like the room was spinning as he grabbed onto the counter for support.
“Dad! What's wrong?” Mikey asked frantically, dropping his bowl and falling to his knees to take Splinter's hands and look him in the eyes.
“My son. . .” Splinter said quietly, hands shaking. Shaking. Something he'd barely done in his life.
He remembered how badly his hands had shook
before proposing to Big Mama. And how quickly the shaking from excitement changed to shaking from terror.
“What is it?” Mikey asked, eyes wide with worry and slightly teary at the sight of his father breaking down in front of him.
“I fear who Blue might be becoming. . .” Splinter whispered, “And the hand I have had in it."