Work Text:
Am I bad, am I bad, am I bad, am I really that bad?
And now we're singing, ooh
Whatever you think of me
If you were in my shoes
You'd walk the same damn miles I do
~’Laplace's Angel (Hurt People? Hurt People!)’ By Will Wood~
It was an ordinary day in the sewers.
Leo and Raph were sitting in the snapper's room together, playing with toy cars and making them go through their imaginary obstacles on their imaginary race track.
Leo had just taken the lead when a loud crash rang out, making them both look at one another nervously before scrambling to get up and hurry to find the source of it.
Like they feared, Mikey stood in the center of the kitchen, surrounded by porcelain shards from the plate he'd accidentally broken. He was crying loudly, holding his arms out towards Raph.
“Oh no, Mikey what happened!?” Raph exclaimed, scooting forward just enough to grab and lift Mikey carefully, while Leo hurried to grab the broom and start sweeping it all up.
“The plate fell!” Mikey sobbed, struggling with the ‘L’ sounds as he cried into Raph's plastron.
“I can see that, did you get hurt?” Raph asked softly, as Mikey shook his head no.
“Wanna cook,” Mikey sniffled, pointing at the stove, and Leo and Raph shared a look, knowing that since Mikey was little, so he probably thought getting plates first was a step in cooking food.
Before Raph could explain, and scold him a bit, a voice rang out.
“What is going on here!?” An angry voice demanded, making the three boys jump.
“Leo!” Donnie exclaimed, watching as Leo swept up shards, “I can't believe you broke another plate! What's Dad gonna say when he finds out!?”
Leo, who couldn't talk well when stressed or worried, let out a confused and hurt chirp. He pointed to Mikey, and Donnie connected the dots.
“Oh, so it was–”
“BLUE!”
Everyone in the room jumped and turned to see Splinter's furious face.
“That's the fifth plate you've broken!”
His brothers ignored the guilt they felt. Leo had only ever broken one. He just constantly took the blame or was blamed by Splinter.
Leo chirped out a denial, shaking his head frantically.
“Dad, it wasn't-”
“Hush, Purple,” Splinter snapped, “If your brother doesn't learn to be well behaved he won't be able to do anything right!”
Leo stiffened, looking down in shame and embarrassment. He was being yelled at for something he didn't even do in front of everyone.
He couldn't even defend himself! Words just didn't come when he was scared or stressed or, just- any bad emotion! Donnie called it cute, but Papa called it annoying.
He yelped as a tail whipped against the back of his legs, “Look at me when I'm talking to you!”
Leo did as he was told, trembling and tucking his hands together against his chest. He shook, eyes burning and looked at his brothers desperately, waiting for one of them to defend him. To do something.
But he saw the guilty yet sad look on Mikey's face and knew no one would say a word.
Splinter yelled at him for a while, before finally sending him off to his room with one last crack of his tail against Leo's calves for good measure.
Leo ran to his and Donnie's room and immediately hid underneath their bunk bed.
After a bit, the door opened and quickly shut again. Donnie snuck in, technically none of them were supposed to go to one another's rooms when they were punished, but Donnie always broke the rule for Leo, and Leo broke it for the few times Donnie was in trouble.
“Leo?” Donnie asked quietly, hearing a chirp in response.
He laid down beside the bed, finding Leo hiding underneath it, shaking. His mismatched eyes met Leo's reflected ones; it was something Leo liked about them being twins. Their eyes were the same colors just on opposite sides.
“You okay?”
“Scared.” Leo whispered, voice raspy from both crying and the lack of use.
Donnie’s face crumbled, but he looked unsure of what to do, “Um, can I help with your legs?”
Leo looked down, dimly realizing the dark purple his calves were becoming and a small cut he'd gotten from the metal bed frame. He nodded slowly, crawling out from underneath the bed.
Donnie grabbed the first aid kit Leo had put together and began carefully taking care of his injuries, “Am I doing this right?”
Leo nodded as he put a Jupiter Jim bandaid on his leg, taking special care to pick one with a blue background.
“. . .I'm sorry,” Donnie whispered, but for what, he didn't say. Was it for what happened? For him being hurt? For not standing up for him or saying what really happened? Was it for all the times he'd done it before?
Leo shrugged simply, looking down at the floor, “It's fine.”
. . . . .
“Lee-Lee?”
Leo looked up from his medical textbook, seeing Mikey standing in the doorway. He was crying and looked heartbreakingly guilty.
“I'm so sowwy!” Mikey sobbed, blubbering out apologies, “I shoulda- shoulda said it was me! I'm sowwy!’
Leo opened his arms and Mikey launched himself into them, crying against Leo's blue tank top as Leo rubbed a hand on his shell until he eventually calmed down.
As Mikey slowly fell asleep against his side, Leo stared up at the wood frame of the bunk bed. He felt. . .weird. Not normal. Wrong?
It was strange. He was upset? His hands were clenched into fists and shaking a bit. His teeth were clenched lightly and his face burned.
Oh.
Anger.
. . . . .
“Who broke this!?
“Leo!”
. . . . .
“It wasn't me, Dad! It was, uh, Leo!”
. . . . .
“He's lying to get out of it!”
. . . . .
“Leo did it!”
. . . . .
“I'm pretty sure I saw Leo do it!”
. . . . .
“If you hadn't done it, you would be speaking!”
. . . .
.
“Why weren't you in your suit!?”
“It was Leo!”
. . . . .
“I'm the one who cheated, punish me!”
“Yes! Punish him!”
. . . . .
“Leo! Sacrifice yourself to buy us time!”
. . . . .
“Just give him the bugs!”
“I'm not giving him the bugs!”
Falling. Falling. Falling.
. . . . .
Getting hit in the face twice by his Dad in his mind
space. None of his brothers were hit.
. . . . .
No one trusting him to catch them off a stupid wire.
. . . . .
“I knew I should have brought Purple.”
. . . . .
“Can someone tell my son, I am not talking to him!”
. . . . .
Years and years of being blamed for things he didn't do.
. . . . .
Years and years of his brothers lying and saying he did something to keep themselves out of trouble.
. . . . .
Years and years of being called a liar anytime he tried to defend himself.
. . . . .
The lair was destroyed.
Things were completely different now.
Home was ruined.
Gram-Gram was dead.
They had powers.
He was leader.
Nothing was going the way it should.
Leo stood, staring at his completely annihilated room. No one's room had been spared, but his was almost completely collapsed in on itself.
He fell to his knees, frantically lifting rubble and attempting to find something. Anything.
“Leo, hurry up. We gotta go,” Raph ordered.
“Give me a sec,” Leo said, searching for something. Just one thing. Just one measly thing to remind himself of home. To remind himself of how his family loved him and he used to loved them.
“Dang it, Leo! Hurry! This place is unstable and Donnie's about to break down!” Raph exclaimed, anger seeping into his tone.
“It's not great for me either,” Leo said, “I just want to grab something.”
“Not everything is about you!”
Leo stiffened. It was the first time someone had said that to him, and he had no clue he'd be hearing it non-stop for a long time.
In the end, there was nothing to salvage.
. . . . .
“Need to listen more!
“Be better!”
“Move faster!”
“Stop moving so fast and listen!”
“Cocky”
“Annoying”
“Impulsive”
“Arrogant”
“It's not about you”
“Wretched little pest!”
“Ruined everything!”
“Weak.”
F̴i̷n̴e̴ ̶t̸h̴e̷n̷.̷
And
Something
S̶͈̥͈̱̪͑͒̃̎ ̵͓̳͙͓̔͝ḩ̶̺͈̫̩̔́ ̸̜͍̭̘̑̽̂á̵̧̦̮͚͓̐ ̷̯̽t̵̳̾͆͋̄ ̷̢̧̩͉̻̓̈͂͆̌t̷̫̜͙̜̐̀̈̋̕ ̸̢̢̼̙͚́è̸̖̞̩͠ͅͅ ̶̜̽r̵̗̩̞̯͌͜ ̸͎̼͕́̃̍̀ẽ̵̲̜͍̃ ̴̲͓́̑̌̃̀ď̶͙͕̆̋
The beginning.