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The first time Kiyoomi pulled the Fiance Card™, Atsumu was confused and starstruck. He definitely wasn't opposed to eventually marrying his prickly spiker of a boyfriend. He WAS stupidly in love with him after all.. but he certainly didn't think his precious Omi Omi would admit to their everlasting engagement to each other two months into their relationship. Before they even had the chance to BE engaged.
It happened because of a pharmacy mix up. The doctor had accidentally sent his medication to somewhere in Hyogo rather than Osaka and rather than argue for hours on the phone and potentially have to wait a few extra days for everything to sort itself out, Kiyoomi had thought of the next best solution. His boyfriend.
Atsumu was already in Hyogo visiting his mom for the weekend and even though Kiyoomi was opposed to asking for favors, he assured him that it really was no trouble at all to go grab his medicine before he hopped on the train home. Or at least he thought it wouldn't be any trouble.. Until he was face to face with the incredibly stoic pharmacy tech who looked like she ate men like him for breakfast.
“Last name.”
“Miya.. fuck- I mean.. the medicine is fer Sakusa. Sakusa Kiyoomi.” Atsumu stammered. Wow he was bad at this. It wasn't like he had never picked up his own damn medicine before when he got sick or whatever but now he was picking it up for someone else.
“Birthday?”
“March 20, 1996” Ok, at least he got that one right. The pharmacy tech was staring at him though, and not in a good way. More like the ‘this guy is obviously doing something wrong’ way.
“Can I see your ID?”
Atsumu once again found himself floundering as he patted his pockets, trying to find his wallet. Producing his ID didn't seem to change anything about the tech’s demeanor though. She was still borderline glaring at him as she took it.
“One second please.” She mumbled as she walked away from the desk… with his ID.
Was this what being a fucking criminal felt like? Cause damn, he was sure feeling like one right now. He watched as she grabbed the corded phone from off the wall and typed in a number. He had no idea what she was saying but his panicked brain was filling in all the gaps. The most likely scenario being that she was reporting him to the police for trying to be a good, helpful boyfriend.
After a few moments he saw something though. A very faint, knowing smile tugging at her lips. It was subtle but it was definitely there. Maybe he wasn't getting arrested after all. A few more moments passed before she returned to hand him his ID and the medication.
“Sorry about that Miya-Sama. Here you go, and congratulations.” She gave him a small, actual smile now as she waved him goodbye.
Atsumu waved back as he left. He was so relieved about getting the medication at all that her words didn't fully register until he was on the train back to Osaka.
Congratulations… for what exactly?
He didn't get an answer until he was back home.. or rather at Kiyoomi’s home, handing over the promised goods and receiving all the appreciative cuddles and kisses he could ever want in return.
“They didn't give you too much trouble, did they?” Kiyoomi asked as he nuzzled his face into his neck.
“Thought she was but then she kinda just gave it to me.” Atsumu shrugged. “Was kinda weird.”
“Yeah,” Kiyoomi hummed, “I forgot they usually don't let you pick it up unless you're a family member or something like that.”
“But I ain't a family member.”
“I know.. I told them you were my fiance.”
Atsumu froze, “I- but.. w-we're not.. ya LIED to em!?”
Kiyoomi chuckled softly, pressing probably the hundredth kiss to his cheek, “Oh please, it's not like they can actually check to make sure. It's fine.”
Atsumu wasn't so sure but it wasn't as if HE was the one who was going to be punished if they found out. HE wasn't the one who lied to him. Plus, it wasn't as if they were actually going to send him to jail over a few allergy pills anyway.
“Fine, but if we're gettin married then I want the kotatsu in the divorce.” He teased, earning a small scowl from his boyfriend.
“Bold of you to assume we're getting divorced. You're stuck with me until one of us dies.” Kiyoomi huffed as he buried his face in his neck again. Tickling him with his soft lips.
“H-hey! Omi-” Atsumu giggled as he squirmed beneath him “Omi sto- Ah~ mm~”
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The second time Kiyoomi pulled the Fiance Card™, Atsumu was actually expected to play along. He had begged Motoya to go with him to the 'evil asshole doctor' but when his cousin refused, he begged his boyfriend. Not that Atsumu would ever say no to something like that but for Kiyoomi the mere thought of asking for a little bit of moral support was basically torture.
Obviously Atsumu agreed. Not just to go with him but to take notes, hold his hand, and to tell off the doctor if he was being too much of an ass. What he didn't really expect though was for the nurse to try to stop him when they called Kiyoomi's name.
“Only patients and family can come back. Your friend can wait here.” The nurse huffed and- damn.. now Atsumu knew what Omi meant when he complained about this particular office. Talk about fucking rude.
“He's my fiance and he's coming with me.” Kiyoomi grumbled.
The nurse glared at him for a moment and Kiyoomi glared right back at her but with no way to actually verify his claim, she had no choice but to back down and let Atsumu join him. He spent that office visit being the best damn fake fiance he could and Kiyoomi actually looked kind of relieved by the end of it. Especially when he forgot the name of the specialist the doctor recommended and Atsumu conveniently had it in his notes.
The implications made him sad to think about though… Because what if someone didn't have family or a fake fiance to go back with them? What if they were scared and confused and all they had was a friend or coworker who had to sit in the waiting room the whole time and couldn't actually help in any way.
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The third time Kiyoomi implemented the Fiance Card™ was on his medical documents. Atsumu had learned a while ago that Momma Sakusa was the emergency contact for all of Kiyoomi's doctors but it was a little impractical given that.. well.. she lived in Tokyo. It would take quite a while for her to actually make it to Osaka if anything were to happen. So Atsumu offered. He felt like their relationship was reaching that step anyway. They practically lived at each other's houses at this point and Kiyoomi occasionally mentioned the inconvenience of renting two separate places if they were just going to fall into the same bed together every night anyway. Hint Hint.
So doctor by doctor, Atsumu became Kiyoomi's emergency contact for each of them. And right next to his name and phone number, under the little line that said ‘relationship to patient’, Kiyoomi wrote, ‘fiance’.
Atsumu didn't admit it at the time, but the next time he found himself filling out his own information at the doctor's, he added Kiyoomi as his emergency contact too.
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The fourth time Kiyoomi pulled the Fiance Card™, Atsumu really wasn't expecting it. They were out at a nice restaurant and it was the first time he had seen its benefit in a non-medical setting. The place was absolutely packed and even though Atsumu KNEW for a fact that he had made a reservation, it wasn't popping up in their system. Frustrated and hungry and really not wanting to try to find a different restaurant at the last minute, Atsumu was at his wits end. That's when Kiyoomi stepped in.
“Can you please try to check again?” His voice was calm, almost sweet actually. “My fiance and I booked this for our anniversary and we were really looking forward to it.”
Suddenly it seemed like the waitress’s eyes softened and the snippy attitude she had been giving Atsumu melted away. She still couldn't find their reservation but someone had cancelled at the last minute and so she ended up giving the two of them that table.
“Ya know, lyin is gonna get ya in trouble one of these days.” Atsumu teased lightly as he sipped on his glass of wine and appreciated the outright gorgeous view of his boyfriend in front of him.
“Maybe you should fix that then.” Kiyoomi hummed softly as he glanced over the menu.
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The fifth time Kiyoomi pulled the Fiance Card™, he forgot to even tell him. Not that Atsumu minded. He had become incredibly used to it by now. Pretending to be Kiyoomi's fiance was almost second nature at this point. So much so that he didn't actually stop to consider how that little white lie might come off to the other people in their lives.
Atsumu was at his brother's house, yapping about some new show that he had been invested in when he got a call from the person they were planning on renting a house from. Yes, him and Omi were finally moving in together… if they could find a good enough place to live that is. Atsumu wasn't the most fond of his current apartment and Kiyoomi loathed the fact that the owner of his rental house never wanted to fix anything when it inevitably broke. So brand new place it was.
“Gotta take this!” Atsumu grinned as he hopped off the couch and disappeared into the kitchen with his nosey brother (and Suna) listening in.
“Hello? …Yep, this is Miya-San… uh huh… yeah, me an’ my fiance can swing by tomorrow to look at it… thank ya! Bye!”
Atsumu re-entered the living room to find Osamu and Suna staring at him wide eyed and confused.
“Who the fuck was that!” Osamu demanded as soon as the gears in his brain started working again.
“The rental guy..” Atsumu answered cautiously, “I toldja me an’ Omi were movin in together, didn't I?”
“You told us you were moving in together, not that you were fucking engaged!” Suna huffed, glaring at him.
Atsumu looked confused for a moment before he suddenly realized the issue, “Oh! No! We ain't ACTUALLY engaged, ya know? We jus’ say we are.”
“Why?” Osamu asked. Now it was his turn to look confused.
“Lot's of reasons! All his doctor shit is a hell of a lot easier, gettin a place together is easier, we even got to go to a nice restaurant cause of it.”
“So you've just been pretending to be engaged this whole time?” Suna asked.
“Pretty much.”
“So when are ya gonna actually ask him to marry ya.” Osamu teased, not really expecting a real answer. To his shock though, Atsumu actually had one.
“Next year. I'm taking him to Kyoto during the off season.”
Osamu and Suna were staring at him wide eyed again.
“Wait.. seriously?”
“‘Course!” Atsumu grinned, “Can't just not ask him to marry me.”