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The baby smiled at her with gummy teeth. Brown eyes stared up at her, reaching for Karai ever so slightly. She picked her son up, letting him latch on to her breast.
Being pregnant while fighting her father-turned-demon was something that was not expected, but somehow, by some miracle, Hiroto had been born. Karai and her husband, Makoto, had named him that because they wanted him to soar. To fly and stretch his wings. She loved her son so much, and she hoped that by the time he was grown Shredder would be gone. She knew what she had to do, and knew her husband would take great care of their son. Still, she relished in the feeling of holding her child to her, her son’s hand gently gripping her chest.
She didn’t know how long it would take to gather the supplies and figure out the ritual to trap the demon that had possessed her father, but she knew that for the moment, it was just her and Hiroto.
Mother and son.
~o~O~o~O~o~
“Mama?” Karai turned to Hiroto with a smile.
“Yes, Hiroto?” She asked.
“Can you play with me?” She nodded, going over to where he was playing and settling down. It was only a few seconds of rest, but Karai cherished it. She tended to stay away from her son and the main camp for fear of him getting hurt, but she loved time like this. Hiroto picked up one stuffed doll, giving her the other one.
“Okay.” He said. “Here’s the story. I have the mama one and you have the kid one.” He gestured to another, bigger stuffed toy. “Mama has to fight him! She’s so brave, like you.” Karai smiled, but felt sad. Why did there have to be a fight even in play?
“Goodbye, son.” Hiroto made his doll say. “I must fight him! To keep you safe.” The three year old looked up at Karai. “Now you say something.”
“I will come with you!” Karai made the toy say.
“No.” Hiroto broke character. “That doesn’t happen.”
“Oh.”
“You can’t come!” Hiroto went back into character. “I must fight myself!” Then it was an epic fight scene, at least by toddler standards. He got up, grabbing the big toy and standing up, pushing the mama doll and him together as if fighting while running around the room. They were made of fabric and stuffing, so it wasn’t loud or in any way close to realistic. “Mama wins!” Hiroto said, holding said toy high.
“She does?” Karai asked, smiling.
“Yep!” He grinned and sat back down, making the mama doll rush to the baby doll. “We won!”
“Thank you, Mama.” Karai voiced. “I am so happy!” They made the dolls hug, before descending to a completely different plotline that was quite frankly insane and a tad violent. First however, Hiroto looked his mother in the eye, a bright smile on his face.
“I can’t wait to win, Mama.”
Karai couldn’t really focus on the game after that.
~o~O~o~O~o~
Hiroto sat next to his mother on the steps. Makoto was on the other side, his arm around Karai. “Mama?” He asked. “I heard about the big fight.” Karai turned to her husband, but he shrugged,
“I didn’t tell him.” It made sense, many people knew now. He might have even overheard it instead of being told directly. Still, he was only five.
“You’re hurt.”
“Well…” Karai hesitated. “Yes. Yes I am.” she said with a breath.
“I don’t want you to fight anymore!” He exclaimed. Makoto squeezed his wife’s shoulders a little tighter, and Karai pulled Hiroto into her side as well.
“I don’t want to fight either, but we have to.” She smiled. “I want to protect you, and soon you will be able to protect yourself—in a few years at least.”
“But if you don’t want to fight, why do you?”
“Because someone has to.”
“I don’t want you to get hurt again.”
“I don’t want to get hurt again either.” She brushed his hair out of his eyes.
“What if… what if you die and I’m still here?” Hiroto grabbed her hand.
“Then you’ll be all grown up, and won’t need me.” It hurt how wrong that was. How untrue.
“I think I’ll always need you.” Her son half-whispered, and it was as if her heart tore apart at the seems. Makoto, who had been silently supporting his wife, finally spoke up.
“Hiroto, we must all grow up,” He said. “But you are right. I will always need her too—but the way she shall help us will be enough. We need her, for it is her that is the soul of the family—the clan.” He smiled sadly. “We will always want her, but after her duty we will need her to do no more than that.” Hiroto was confused, which was understandable.
“What do you mean?”
“He means many things, my child.” Karai pulled Hiroto into her lap and kissed his forehead. “But the most important thing is that our family will be safe. You shall need me, and I shall be there.”
“Always?”
“As long as you and hopefully generations after you should live, son.” Makoto confirmed.
“I don’t understand…” He curled up into Karai and Makoto’s arms, burying his face in his mother’s chest.
“You won’t any time soon, but one day you will.” Karai murmured.
“Please don’t go.” Hiroto looked at Makoto with teary eyes. “You too, Papa. Please.” His voice broke and his parents gathered the child in their arms tighter. Makoto and Karai shared a pained look.
Because Karai would go, very soon. In a couple months, actually. ‘When the time is right.’
Karai didn’t think the time would ever be right.
~o~O~o~O~o~
Hiroto was sleeping so peacefully, and every part of Karai wanted to wake him up. To tell him what was happening. To kiss his forehead and to stay with him, instead of this dreadful sacrifice. But instead she just leaned over, kissing the top of his head, some of her tears dripping down her face. She had always been much more affectionate than many other parents, but she got it from her own.
“I love you.” She whispered.
“Lo’ oo too Mama…” Hiroto mumbled, and for a second Karai wondered if he would wake farther, but instead he just cuddled back up in bed. She let out a shaky breath and left.
She never returned.
Hiroto awoke the next morning to a quiet house. Mama was back home, and had come yesterday. She had been sad, and Hiroto had a plan to cheer her up! He would show her the fancy painting he had made out of crushed rocks in the jungle. He ran to get it, excited that he had thought to crush them and mix them with water, before putting them on a flat rock. He hadn't even told Papa about it, since he had been sad too. It was a surprise for both of them!
He ran into the other room, smiling at Papa as he entered. Papa had been crying. Papas didn’t cry! “Papa?” Papa looked at him and started crying again. “No, no, no! Don’t cry, Papa! Where’s Mama? I have something to make you happy!” He lifted his painting up, the rock a tad bit heavy for him. Papa took the rock, barely glancing at it before taking it and putting it on the table. He scooped Hiroto onto his lap.
“Why are you crying?” asked Hiroto. Why didn’t he look at the cool painting??? “Where’s Mama?” Papa just held him closer, crying harder.
This wasn’t right.
Papas didn’t cry.
“Where’s Mama?”