Work Text:
[August 1st, 6:30am. We’re at the spirit Halloween flagship location. The store is quiet. Every new animatronic is pristinely set up and everyone’s ready for the customers to come in.]
[But, that’s not what we’re focused on…]
[Cut to: The front of the store. Two employees are fixated on a man (Fritz) standing outside, staring at them intently.]
Employee 1: …Who is that?
Employee 2: Don’t let him in dude.
[Beat. Employee one looks at Employee two, confused.]
Employee 1: …I wasn’t gonna.
[Tensive silence. Fritz has not broken eye contact with them.]
Employee 2: Uh…
Employee 1 (shouting): HEY! WE’RE NOT OPEN FOR ANOTHER… 4 HOURS!!
Employee 2: NO CAMPERS!! MOVE IT!!
[Fritz puts a finger on the glass, as if he’s pointing at something.]
Employee 1: Dude, what is he pointing at?!
[Employee 2 looks at where he’s pointing. It’s the Freddy Fazbear animatronic. Of course it’s the 500 dollar Fazbear himself!]
Employee 2: He wants Freddy.
Employee 1: Oh my god.
Employee 2: Keep an eye on him. I’m going to see if the other doors are locked. There’s no favoritism here! He’s going to wait like everyone else.
Employee 1: Aye-Aye, Captain.
[Employee 2 walks off, leaving Employee 1 and Fritz having the most uncomfortable staring contest in American history. Silence.]
Fritz (kinda quiet): He’s beautiful.
Employee 1: I think he’s overpriced.
Fritz: He is absolutely worth 500 dollars. I just know it.
Employee 1: If that’s what you think…
Fritz: I’ve spent months. MONTHS. Saving for this beautiful thing
Employee 1: That’s some dedication.
[Pause. You could cut the tension with a knife. Fritz sharply tugs the locked door.]
Fritz: Let me in.
Employee 1: No. You have to wait.
[He jerks the door again. Employee one shakes their head, but Fritz isn’t backing down. At all. He just keeps yanking the handle.]
Employee 1: Stop.
Fritz: I will not.
[Employee two finally comes back and sees this. Beat.]
Employee 2: What the hell is he doing!?
Employee 1: I have no idea.
[He finally stops, and goes back to staring at them. Pause.]
Employee 2 (turning around): Thank god.
Employee 1 (also turning around): Phew.
[A sudden clatter. They immediately look back and see that Fritz has disappeared.]
Employee 1: Did he leave?
Employee 2: I think so… Wait, what’s that?
[They look outside and notice a vent shaft is on the ground. Pause.]
Employee 2: SHIT!!
Employee 1: WE’VE GOT TO FIND HIM BEFORE HE GETS IN THE STORE—
Fritz (from behind): Find Who?
[They slowly turn around. Fritz is now in the store and right in front of them.]
Employee 1 (whispering to Employee 2): He’s taller than I thought…
Employee 2 (whispering back): I think I just shit myself.
Fritz (oblivious to how terrified they are): Where is he?
Employee 1: Well, uh… who are you look—
Fritz: I want your best Freddy Fazbear. Please.
[We cut to later. Fritz has got the box at the register now. A very unsettling grin is plastered on his face. Employee 2 is ringing him up.]
Employee 2: Now, would you like to add a warranty plan. It’ll be, like, an extra 40—
Fritz: I do not want to. He’ll be in good hands, I promise.
Employee 2: That’s not what I’m—
[Fritz gives him 5 100 bills. And a thimble. His grin gets scarier, somehow.]
Employee 2: Thank you, sir. I’ll—
Fritz: Keep the change.
[He picks up the box and starts walking out.]
Employee 1: Have a great day, sir.
Fritz: You mean a great drive! I’ve got 32 hours ahead of me.
Employee 2: You’re from out of state?
Fritz: Utah.
[He leaves the store. Employee 1 and 2 look a very particular kind of exasperated.]
Employee 2: I’m happy this is a seasonal store.
Employee 1: That’s the greatest thing you’ve ever said to me.
[The end.]