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Lu guang's footsteps tapped accross the floor as he stepped back and forth next to the balcony, his mind on the phone.
“Come on, Lu guang! We've graduated already. We should do something fun!” Qiao ling's joyful voice transmitted over the phone.
The three friends were on a voice call online. They hadn't got a chance to meet since graduation last week so the two had been bugging Lu guang desperately.
“Anything for a meetup!” Cheng xiaoshi pleaded. “You can decide what we do this time” He added as further consolation.
“...I decide?” Lu guang mulled the thought over. “...even if it's as simple as stargazing?”
“...that's actually a good idea…I heard we're gonna be able to see a meteor shower soon! We should definitely go” Qiao Ling exclaimed.
“Any good places in mind?” Some typing noises could be heard from Cheng xiaoshi's side, perhaps he was looking up locations.
“I think…I know a place.” Lu guang answered calmly. “Though it's near a village…it's basically a meadow…would that be okay?”
“Definitely! Nice choice, Lu guang. Text me the location and I'll drive us there.”
“Its better if it's in a village. Less light pollution, you know?” Qiao Ling chuckled.
“Okay then. It's decided. Pack your stuff. We'll be on the road tomorrow. See you guys in the morning.” Cheng xiaoshi confirmed for them all.
“Works for me. See you guys tomorrow!” Qiao Ling bade goodbye.
“Goodbye.” Lu guang cut the call.
By morning, the three of them were on their way to the meadow. Cheng xiaoshi and Qiao Ling sat in the front seats while Lu guang sat in the back, as he gazed out of the window from the right.
“You guys need to thank my father for this afterwards.” Qiao ling smugly pointed out. “It's his car, after all.”
“So why aren't you driving instead of him?” Lu guang rose an eyebrow.
Qiao Ling’s face distorted to mild annoyance.
“Hah. It's because she's grounded~” Cheng xiaoshi laughed at her face. “She snuck the car out last time without his permission.”
“You don't have to rub it in!” Qiao Ling huffed in irritation. “You suck at driving anyways. It's only because my father trusts you that you are driving.”
“At least he trusts me, unlike a certain someone~” Cheng xiaoshi mercilessly teased.
While the two rolled insults and accusations at each other, Lu guang laid back againest the seat and began reading a new book.
They arrived the spot in an hour, the three got out of the car, stretching their legs out, as they took in the scenary. The sun was already setting so, they began setting up their own place within the grassy meadow.
The village was quiet, they hadn't seen much people around and there weren't any streetlights either nearby, therefore, the sky lit up in the dark with thousands, if not millions, of tiny stars.
The three had laid down on the crisp grass once, it was dark as it could be. They'd covered themselves with a blanket they'd brought along.
Though the blanket barely fit the three of them, forcing shoulders to brush and elbows to bump as they lay beneath an endless sky strewn with stars.
Every so often, a streak of light carved across the sky, drawing another delighted gasp from Cheng Xiaoshi.
"There!" he exclaimed, pointing far too late. "Did you guys see that one?"
"I did," Qiao Ling laughed with excitement while Lu guang affirmed with a nod.
"Make a wish!" Cheng xiaoshi clasped his hand togather in a prayer. The other two didn't believe in such a thing but played along.
"What'd you wish for?" Qiao Ling tried to satisfy her curiosity.
"For us to always be together" Cheng xiaoshi beamed, his eyes sparkling along with the stars.
While the three stared upwards, Lu guang felt his gaze diverting from the stars to a certain individual every so often. The way, the stars reflected their shine in the gleam of his eyes.
~Lovely to just lay here with you~
Cheng Xiaoshi, stared up in amazement as he pointed out constellations with absolute confidence, only for Lu Guang to quietly correct every single one.
“That's Hercules-!” Cheng xiaoshi loudly pointed out.
“...Orion.” Lu guang mumbled.
Cheng xiaoshi would keep this ridiculous pout on his face, upon every correction, yet, he wouldn't give up until he got at least one right.
The joyous chuckle that elicited out of his mouth when he did, it made coming here feel the more worth it in Lu guang's heart.
Their eyes met a few times, whenever he'd sit up and he'd hover over Qiao Ling's head to meet his.
Each time, he'd smile back. Lu guang could only stare back like an idiot.
~You're kinda cute, and I would say all of this~
This was the same place they'd stargazed when they were kids but it seemed he didn't remember.
He'd smile and laugh exactly the same way even when they were kids. The easy yet, bright smile that seemed to bring warmth everywhere they'd go.
But, he didn't have to mention that. Not, right now. Not when the moment is already so perfect.
~But I don't wanna ruin the moment~
Even as Qiao Ling and Cheng xiaoshi bickered over the blanket, the sound felt comforting under the night sky.
The wind swept away their giggles and laughter, as stars twinkled over their union.
~Lovely to sit between comfort and chaos~
Nevertheless, all good things always came to an end. Soon, it was midnight, and they'd packed up everything to leave.
It really was all ending so quickly. The fleeting amazement was pushed away to the corner of their heads.
They loaded their equipment into the trunk of the car and settled back onto the road. Cheng xiaoshi drove the way back, both Lu guang and Qiao Ling dozed off, their heads lolling againest the back of the seats.
~But it's over~
Cheng xiaoshi gently shook Qiao Ling's shoulder to wake her up as they neared her house. She woke up slowly, blinking her eyes to regain focus.
“Home already…?” She muttered as she reluctantly unbuckled her seatbelt and gathered her things.
She snapped her fingers Infront of Lu guang, allowing him to wake up as well.
“Sit in the front. I'm leaving” She mentioned and Lu guang dipped his head in response. It seemed as if she winked and mumbled something to Cheng xiaoshi before she left, but perhaps he imagined it.
Lu guang took a moment to himself before shifting seats, sitting next to Cheng xiaoshi.
“Goodnight..!” She waved back as she groggily dragged her feet to her front door.
“I'll swing by to drop your car off tomorrow. I have to drop Lu guang home first.” Cheng xiaoshi yelled from the car. Qiao Ling gave a thumbs up and headed inside.
It was a quiet journey over to Lu guang's House. Cheng xiaoshi's rhythmic tapping againest the wheel, as he hummed to the radio, his eyes drifting in between the one on the passenger seat and the mirrors.
~Then you're driving me home~
The apartment complex showed up in sight, and Cheng xiaoshi pulled up in the parking lot. Lu guang fidgeted with his fingers, wondering if he should mention it.
“How...was the place?” Lu guang inquired, his voice uneven.
“It was…amazing. Thanks for telling us about it. I wish we can go again next time.” Cheng xiaoshi grinned softly.
“...Maybe we will.”
Lu guang unstrapped his seatbelt from the buckle as he gathered strength to raise from the seat.
“Wait...Lu guang...” Cheng xiaoshi, abruptly, piped up.
~And it kinda comes out~
“Yes? Lu guang's hand stilled on the car door handle. His head turned back to Cheng xiaoshi's direction.
Cheng xiaoshi appeared terribly nervous, his hands awkwardly trying to convey something.
“I just…I was thinking about something…if you…” Cheng xiaoshi tried to formulate a response.
“Take your time.” Lu guang waited patiently, easing up the pressure.
~As I get up to go~
“Please…just. Give me a chance.” Cheng xiaoshi blurted out.
“...A chance?” Lu guang blinked.
“Yes…it's…oh goddamn it-” Cheng xiaoshi hastily clicked the seatbelt off, and leaned over the center control. His breath ghosting near Lu guang's face.
“...it's your choice.” Cheng xiaoshi whispered, giving Lu guang every chance, to move away.
But, Lu guang doesn't as he stared back, with no reluctance.
It was all Cheng xiaoshi needed as relief and joy coursed through his lungs before he finished the troublesome distance between them.
They kissed timidly at first, just a brush of their lips before they moved againest the other. Cheng xiaoshi lifted himself off his seat as he hovered over Lu guang further, pressing soft pecks across each corner of his lips
~You kiss me in your car~
When they finally pulled away, their breaths mingled with wonder and hope. Eyes communicating what their words couldn't have.
“...was that okay?” Cheng xiaoshi gingerly questioned, his hand coming up to cup Lu guang's left cheek, as if assuring himself of reality. His thumb swiping softly across the curve of his cheek.
“More than okay.” Lu guang whispered, as the softest of smiles curved up on his face.
Cheng xiaoshi let out an incomprehensible noise before he lunged forward, enveloping Lu guang in a bear-like hug.
Their giggles vibrated againest eachother, colliding with the hum of the radio in the car.
~And it feels like the start of a movie I've seen before~
Weeks of whispered promises and lingering touches dissolved into the stench of blood. The warm body he'd loved to hold, bled out in his arms in the cold red room.
“Please…” Lu guang begged to whoever was able to fix this, as he cradled Cheng xiaoshi's body over his lap. His hand cupping his cheek, trying to regain composure. “You can't leave me.”
Cheng xiaoshi dared to bitterly smile, as he coughed out the metallic liquid. “Lu guang..” Cheng xiaoshi's took hold of the hand on his cheek, as he nuzzled his head further into the warm palm. “Take care of yourself for me and don't do anything stupid hm..?”
“Stupid! You- You fool-” Lu guang gasped for air, his eyes pricked with moisture, as they threatened to flood any second.
Just before, Lu guang could say anything further, Cheng xiaoshi's head sagged onto his palm and Lu guang felt something strumming through his veins.
His eyes lit up with a golden spark, with a power that felt eerily similar to his own.
It took a whole day to even understand the gravitation of what had happened. These powers…
Lu guang ran off in between the funeral, unable to witness Cheng xiaoshi's body being laid down in the coffin.
If he could just go back.
There was no other thought left.
There was no hesitation.
Cheng xiaoshi had warned him to not do anything stupid, but he did exactly that, it didn't matter not when his Cheng xiaoshi could have another chance.
His hands clapped againest the other, to bring back his partner.
The previous timeline ceased to exist and so did the essence of the one he loved.
~But it's not real~
It was truly unreal, Cheng xiaoshi was Infront of him, standing and alive. Not cold and dead.
The days whooshed past in a daze, it was like his mind was on nothing but him. It felt like nothing but him mattered. His mind calculated every possibility that could cause a disaster even if it was just a walk outside.
It felt unbearable, when Cheng xiaoshi would turn to him frustrated, over why he'd overreact over such things.
It stinged the corner of his heart. How would he explain?
How would he truly make him understand without panicking?
It was the same cheng xiaoshi, the one who would argue with him over breakfast, bickered with Qiao Ling over video games and lounged around the couch, whining over stupid things.
Yet every time Lu Guang looked at him, he saw only the ghost of someone else. Someone just him, and yet not the same.
Not the Cheng xiaoshi who'd kissed him that day with that flustered smile. Not the one who'd watched stars with him that day. Not the one, he'd hugged and giggled with. Not the one who'd whispered sweet promises to him in bed.
That Cheng Xiaoshi no longer existed.
~And you don't exist~
Lu Guang clung to the memory of him with desperate precision, the warmth of Cheng Xiaoshi's lips, the courageous step forward, the small noises he'd let out upon hugging him.
He replayed it so often that he feared it would someday lose its edges, fading into something that felt less like memory and more like imagination.
~And I can't recall the last time I was kissed~
The day finally came.
The same starry night.
The same meadow.
The same car.
Lu guang hadn't waited for anything more in his life. His impatience combined with nervousness plummeted.
The car arrives to a stop, next to his apartment, just as it should have.
Cheng xiaoshi tilted his head towards him. Lu guang almost lunged forward-
“Have a goodnight.” Cheng xiaoshi flashed his easy smile. Lu guang jerked backwards, his body froze on spot.
It was the same smile yet, for the first time, it filled him with dread so disgusting, it corrupted his stomach.
Lu guang waited and waited.
He waited for Cheng xiaoshi's courageous yet flustered move forward.
It never came.
Cheng xiaoshi let him go as he climbed out of the car.
~It hits me in the car~
Cheng xiaoshi waved back as Lu guang crossed the sidewalk. The car kicked into gear and strode off through the night.
Lu guang stared at the fleeting red lights until they dissapeared out of his sight before collapsing onto the cold floor.
“...I miss him” A barely heard whisper was swept away in this wind.
It hurt brutally to know that the one he loved and held, didn't feel the same in this one.
And perhaps, they can never go back to way it was.
~And it feels like the end of a movie I've seen before~