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It's Okay to Be Uncertain

Summary:

"As much as they wanted, no, needed their girlfriends right now, they felt… paralyzed. Noelle had told them over and over that they could wake her up whenever they needed her. She’d even made them swear they would tell her and Susie when they had a nightmare..."

"But every time they thought about waking her, all they could imagine was the sound of her tears as she held them close… could they really keep putting her through that?"

~~~

(in which Kris has a nightmare about that stupid fuxking cat that i hate)

Notes:

^^^ Please go read this one it's great

I was working on a couple of other Kriselle fics related to my last one, but they turned out to be longer than I intended, so I made this in the meantime. Feedback is always welcome!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Kris’ eyes snapped open as they let out a sharp gasp, their senses overloaded as they were roughly pulled from their dream back to reality. Their eyes were adjusting to the darkness, when they suddenly remembered where they were.

 

(Shit!)

 

They immediately brought a hand to their mouth, trying to stifle the sound of their ragged breathing and avoid waking their girlfriends around them. Now that they were awake, they could see Noelle’s face just a few inches away, her nose gently swaying with each soft breath. Her hair was splayed out around the two of them, twisting around them like rippling waves in an ocean of gold.

 

Normally, that sight would’ve brought comfort to Kris, but tonight, it felt like sitting in the middle of a minefield.

 

They could feel her arm loosely draped around their shoulder… alongside the much thicker arm wound snugly around their waist. Kris froze as they were suddenly aware of the weight pressing against their back, reminding them of their other companion. They could hear Susie’s snores, even feel the puffs of air blowing past the top of their head. They carefully extracted their other hand from the tangle of limbs, doubling their efforts to stay silent.

 

Kris squeezed their eyes shut… but even in the darkness, out of the corner of their vision, they swore they could still see those yellow and pink eyes… that evil grin… they could still hear that wild cackling… feel that urge to get away, run, hide-

 

Kris wrenched their eyes open again, looking around the room in a panic. They grabbed their own hand… they swore they could still feel it, the burning sting as it sunk its fangs into their hand and pulled and pulled and pulled-

 

Their eyes instinctively squeezed shut as they braced theirself; they knew the bite was coming, they knew IT was coming…

 

…

 

…

 

But nobody came.

 

Kris was struggling to breathe… It felt like they were trapped, like the damn thing knew this was the one place the human wouldn’t dare to run away. Slowly, they lifted their head ever so slightly, their eyes scanning the room around them. It was still hard to breathe, so they tried to focus on their surroundings.

 

Behind Noelle, there was a poster with a giant monster on it, from some movie that Susie couldn’t stop raving about. It had a large tear down the middle, held together with little pieces of tape. She’s probably had it for a long time now.

 

They looked across the foot of the bed towards the desk, noticing Noelle’s laptop. The little lights were still glowing, she must’ve forgotten to turn it off. She’ll have to recharge it in the morning.

 

They glanced over their shoulder, past Susie's arm, and saw a keyboard in the corner of the room. Their keyboard. A gift from Noelle’s parents when they left Hometown, one that they hadn’t touched in months. It just didn’t feel the same as a real piano.

 

Their eyes moved upwards, towards the glow-in-the-dark stars lining the top of the walls. Another gift, this time from Dess, when they wanted a night light for their room… their… room…

 

(...Right… I’m in our room… in our bed… we stopped the Roaring… Dess is alive… Susie and Noelle are safe… those cats can’t… they… they can’t…)

 

They buried their face in their hands, it felt like the weight in their chest had doubled. They knew they were safe, they knew everything was okay, it’s been okay for years now…

 

…So why did they still have this sinking feeling in their chest?

 

Kris took in a shaky breath, finding it harder and harder to keep quiet. As much as they wanted, no, needed their girlfriends right now, they felt… paralyzed. Noelle had told them over and over that they could wake her up whenever they needed her. She’d even made them swear they would tell her and Susie when they had a nightmare.

 

But every time they thought about waking her, all they could imagine was the sound of her tears as she held them close… could they really keep putting her through that?

 

Kris cursed their luck at being caught in the middle of the bed on a night like this. As much as they liked being the designated body pillow on most nights, if they were on the end of the bed, they could maybe hope to crawl out of bed unnoticed.

 

They could hide theirself in the bathroom while they tried to stop hyperventilating, so they didn’t have to wake their partners again. They wouldn’t have to make Susie lose even more sleep right after she’d gotten home from work. They wouldn’t have to make Noelle cry again. They'd already put their girlfriends through enough of their bullshit.

 

(This is so stupid… just say something… you’re so pathetic… can’t even ask for help when it’s all you want..)

 

It felt like absolute torture laying there, desperately trying to stifle their sobs and stop the tremors wracking through their body.

 

But they didn’t want to stop.

 

They wanted to fall apart, they wanted to hear Noelle humming lullabies into their ear, they wanted to feel Susie wiping away their tears. They were so stupid, they were such a burden, they were so useless… useless… useless…

 

“...Hmm…? …wha’s useless…?”

 

Kris felt their blood run cold at the sound of Noelle’s mumbling.

 

(Fuck… did I really say that out loud?)

 

She shifted for a moment, before slowly peeling her eyes open. It took her a moment to register the human in front of her, peeking at her through their fingers as they shook against Susie’s chest with shuddered breaths.

 

“Kris? What’s…” she asked, suddenly wide awake as Kris let out a choked gasp. It was like their body had given up trying to hide as soon as they caught Noelle’s attention. They watched as her face dropped in sympathy, instantly realizing what had happened…

 

“Oh, sweetheart… come here.”

 

She scooted forward, wrapping her arms around Kris and pulling them into her embrace. They didn’t stop her, sliding out of Susis’s grip and burying their face in Noelle’s collar as their breath hitched with each sob. They wanted to tell her that they were sorry, that she didn’t deserve to feel like this, that she shouldn’t have to worry about them.

 

But as she squeezed them tighter, the feeling of her hands stroking their back and combing through their hair flooding their senses… all they could do was keep crying.

 

“Shhhh… you’re okay, Krismas… Everything’s okay… I’ve got you…” She whispered into their hair, leaving a trail of soft kisses along the top of their head. They gripped her shirt tightly as they cried out, no longer feeling the need to be quiet.

 

Their body was melting under her touch, the tension slowly draining from their shoulders while she held them so dearly. Noelle was too good for them, far too good… they really didn’t deserve her…

 

“S-s-s-sorry…” they managed to stammer out, filled with guilt. She cupped their face with her hand, gently tilting their head up to look them in the eye.

 

“Sorry for what?” She sounded confused as she gazed lovingly at them. Wasn’t it obvious…?

 

“...f-for… f-f-for…” Kris wanted to say so many things.

 

(...sorry for waking you up… sorry for not waking you up sooner… sorry for wrinkling your shirt again… sorry for not eating… sorry for being so useless… Sorry for-)

 

They nearly jumped when another set of arms circled around their waist. Susie pulled herself closer, still half-asleep. She squeezed them tightly, lazily pressing her nose into their hair.

 

“...Mmm… nothin’ to be sorry for…”

 

There was something about the way Susie always talked so plainly, how she was able to cut through the nonsense and speak from her heart… it was too sweet, too much for them to handle right now.

 

Kris made a whimper and quickly turned around, curling into Susie as their body shook with a fresh wave of tears. She pulled them in without hesitation, resting her chin on top of their head while they cried their eyes out. Noelle was quick to follow, they could feel her brushing her hand soothingly along their side, pressing her lips between their shoulders… right as they felt Susie’s chest start to rumble softly, almost like she was purring…

 

Kris had no idea how they’d gotten so lucky, getting the two sweetest, prettiest girls they’d ever met to hold them like this. Even after everything they’d done, all the problems they’d caused, all the lies they’d told… Noelle and Susie still cared about them so much.

 

They lost track of time as they laid there, listening to the slow, steady beat of Susie’s heart, while Noelle whispered sweet nothings from behind them. But eventually, once their tears had slowed down, and their breathing had evened out, they slowly pulled away from Susie’s chest. As Noelle gave them a bright smile, they couldn’t help but smile back at her as she leaned in slowly, kissing the wet stains along their cheeks as they gave in to her affection.

 

She put a hand up to their face. “Better?” she asked gently. They raised their hand to meet hers, leaning into her soft fur as they nodded.

 

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

 

“...nightmare... the same one…” they whispered, looking away from her. “...sorry… I know it’s not real, I just-”

 

“You say ‘sorry’ way too much, you know that?” Susie cut them off abruptly, suddenly sounding much less tired than she did before. "You've been through so much shit, dude. You’re allowed to feel like shit.”

 

“...but… it’s been so long… shouldn’t I be… over it by now?”

 

Susie chuckled. “What, you on a tight schedule or something?” She shook her head from above them as she crossed her arms over their chest. “Doesn’t matter how long it takes… I’m not going anywhere.”

 

“Me neither, Krismas!’ Noelle said cheerfully as she started peppering kisses across their face.

 

“...hehehe, stooooop” They started giggling as they turned away, trying to escape her assault of smooches. Instead, they found theirself trapped, held tightly in place by Susie’s thick arms as Noelle descended upon them.

 

“Nuh-uh! You can’t get rid of us THAT easily!”

 

Noelle continued her attack, leaving them with no choice but to accept her sweet display of love… until they decided to stick their tongue out right before she touched them, licking a wide stripe along the side of her face. She pulled back in surprise, staring at them as Susie started laughing loudly, shaking Kris around in her grip.

 

Noelle joined in with her girlfriend’s laughter as Kris tried to pull the loose fur off of their tongue. “Fahaha! You’re so weird, Kris!”

 

She pulled them in closer, resting her forehead against theirs. Her eyes were so beautiful, they could’ve fallen asleep again under her comforting gaze.

 

But eventually, they heard a growl come from their stomach. They looked down in surprise, their face heating up as they realized that their girlfriends probably just heard that. They’d been so distracted that they didn’t realize how hungry they were. When was the last time they’d eaten something…? Susie had asked them to eat before going to bed, but…

 

“Are you hungry?” Noelle asked quietly, breaking the silence.

 

Kris nodded in response. “...yeah… didn’t eat much yesterday… sor-”

 

“Say ‘sorry’ one more time and I’ll fling you off this bed.” Susie warned them from behind.

 

They looked up at her with the cutest puppy-dog eyes they could manage. “...promise?”

 

“Ughhh…” They chuckled as they felt her facepalm above their head. “...fine, say that again and I WON’T fling you off this bed.”

 

Noelle laughed as Kris enthusiastically nodded at Susie’s offer. “You too are so silly…!” she laughed, looking into the human’s eyes for a moment longer, before she sat up quickly. “Come on! Susie brought home leftovers earlier, let’s go reheat them!”

 

She swung her legs over the side of her bed, turning around to look at her partners… only to see Kris go sailing past her head, flying over the foot of the bed and landing spread-eagle on the carpet.

 

They heard Susie step up to their side, before bending down to meet them at the ground. “You, uh… you good, dude?”

 

They poked their eyes out from the carpet beneath them. “...again?”

 

They couldn’t see her, but they knew Susie was rolling her eyes right now. “Shut up, dumbass.”

 

No one else but Susie could make them feel this delighted at being called ‘dumbass’.

 

They giggled at her insult, but made no effort to move. Luckily, Susie was there to pick up the slack… the ‘slack’ being her beloved theyfriend, of course. They felt their whole world flip around, until their face met the back of Susie’s t-shirt as she flung them over her shoulder.

 

“Alright, come on, dude… didn’t you say you were hungry?”

 

“...mmm… yeah… did you get the macaroni…?”

 

“You bet your ass I did.”

 

“...marry me right now.”

 

“Pffft. Not until you eat something, stupid.”

 

They opened their mouth to speak, until they were interrupted by a stifled laugh from the other side of the room. But just as they turned to look at Noelle, they were forcibly turned away as she caught Susie’s attention.

 

“Hey! What’s so funny over there, Jingles?

 

“H-huh? Oh, s-sorry, I was just- WHOA!”

 

They felt Susie rush forward, heard a yelp, and then Noelle’s face appeared beside Kris, over Susie’s opposite shoulder.

 

“A-ah! Susie! Careful!” she cried out, while Susie shifted the two of them around to hold them more comfortably. Kris watched Noelle as she tried not to fall over, all three of them still laughing as she tried to brush the hair out of her face.

 

She looked over at them with a chuckle. She had a glint in her eye. “Hey, you.”

 

Kris kept watching as she clumsily scooted towards them, swinging her torso like a pendulum until her lips made contact with their cheek. They felt their heat face up as she beamed at them.

 

“You’re everything… you know that?”

 

Their eyes went wide at her sweet words. Noelle always knew just the right way to make them blush, even after all these years…

 

They closed their eyes as Susie carried them towards the kitchen, nuzzling her head against their side. “...th-thank you… love you two…”

 

Kris knew this wouldn’t be the last time they would need their girlfriends like this. They knew the nightmares wouldn’t go away so easily, they knew they couldn’t just get rid of the doubt in their heart overnight. But as long as Noelle and Susie were there to pick them up, to show how much Kris meant to them…

 

…then maybe one day, it wouldn’t feel so hard to believe.

Notes:

Macaroni? With the chicken strips???

Thanks for reading my fic! I've had this idea stuck in my head ever since I saw the chapter 5 update with the new dialogue last week, so I took a break from what I was writing before and worked on this. Not sure if I did a great job characterizing the three of them but I needed a heavy dose of wholesome after playing the weird route... so now this is your problem. Deal with it. (▀̿Ĺ̯▀̿ ̿)

I hope you enjoyed! I had an idea for a short follow-up to this that's like 100% dialogue but I don't know if I'll follow through with that. But until then, back to writing Wholesome Kriselle for me... Thank you and have a wonderful day! ~( ˘▾˘~)