Chapter Text
I bathe in my own blood.
I writhe in the crimson sin you have spilled.
I can finally see clearly...
It is so dark outside, my nightshade.
But I can see.
My lungs burn under the blood filling them.
The pain is so blinding, but, oh, so gentle.
And I love that it came from you.
Death came for me, through your gentle hands.
Perhaps it's better this way.
I have always hated what they did to you, what they turned you into.
Why couldn't you see?
Why couldn't you open your eyes?
You were afraid, just as much as I was.
I am sorry I couldn't save you, nightshade.
I failed you.
I failed the both of us.
Let me bear at least a bit of your burden.
If it must be like this, be it.
Must I be punished for loving you?
Must I be punished for wanting good?
My thoughts are muffled, my mind is a mere observer.
Must it hurt to breathe?
I feel young again, remembering the time I didn't know myself. Remembering the time I hated myself.
I can feel the taste of copper in my mouth.
I can feel the cold ground embracing me.
Death isn't such a glorious thing after all.
They have praised it so much, haven't they?
Amarah has praised it so, hasn't he?
What a cursed world we were welcomed into.
And yet, the world will not turn at the emptiness I may leave behind.
There will be nothing, where my presence once was.
There is nothing else left for me but to forget, to forgive.
And let the soil take me.
Will you forget too, nightshade?
I know you won't.
I know it by the tremble in your bloody hands and by the way you shakily hold the stained dagger.
I know it by the tears in your eyes that have seen too much too early.
I know it by the quick beat of your traitorous heart that knew mine.
Oh, nightshade.
In another life I would have really loved just living in a nice city with you.
In another life I would have really loved just finding a place to settle with you.
In another life I would have really loved just being with you.
"I love you."
I spoke with the last breath that my body gave.
I can only remember a tear rolling down your cheek.
And when I looked up at the stars one last time, I knew I'd never be able to hate you.