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“I thought I was seein’ things, man,” Matthew laughs, then winces in pain. “Michael fuckin’ Robinavitch, in the flesh.”
Robby straightens his spine and snaps on a fresh pair of gloves. “Hah– it’s uh– You can just call me Robby.”
“Still Robby, huh?”
“Still me.” He opens his arms and shrugs. If you only knew, man. “Now tell me, what the hell were you thinking, riding an electric razor scooter in this weather? At your big age?”
Matthew laughs again and Robby can’t help but smile. It’s always strange, seeing someone you know in your ED; and he knows he probably shouldn’t pick Matt as a patient – as the chief attending, he’s pretty strict about the “no friends and family” rule – but does an old buddy from med school even count as a friend? He hasn’t seen the man in– oh God, around thirty years.
Besides, after the hell that’s been the last couple of months (years, really, but who’s counting?) Robby will take on any case that doesn’t make him want to crawl out of his skin with anxiety.
Matt’s an easy case – a sprain, maybe a slight concussion. He orders a CT and some blood tests anyway, just to rule out any serious injuries or underlying conditions. It won’t hurt to give his buddy the VIP treatment.
He’s engrossed in explaining the extent of the injury to Matthew when he feels a warm hand squeeze his bicep. “Here you go, hon.”
Robby looks down and sees Dana holding out the iPad, presenting him with results. She’s gone as quickly as she appeared.
He looks down at the tablet and tries to read the results, but he can feel his lips stretch into a smile. He’s not sure what’s gotten into Dana lately – maybe it’s the fact that he came back from the sabbatical in one piece and started therapy; maybe it’s the fact that she finalized her divorce and started therapy – but she’s been unusually sweet to him these last couple of weeks. Not that he’s complaining.
Matthew’s voice rudely interrupts Robby’s thoughts. “You dog. The chief and the charge nurse. Ain’t that cute.”
Robby’s head snaps up immediately because– what?
“Doctor Robby?” Whitaker bursts through the door, and thank God. “We could use a little help.” And with that he’s gone, running off. Robby manages to throw a weak “I’ll be back” in Matt’s vague direction before he follows the resident to Trauma 1.
Matthew’s laughter follows him far into the other side of the ED.
Just when adrenaline has left his body, just after the almost-drowned kid gets sent upstairs; just when Robby starts to head to the bathroom–
“Hey Robby, your VIP’s asking about you.”
He sighs and straightens his back. Might as well get it over with.
“Say, how about we get drinks this weekend? 8PM at Lucky’s?” Matthew asks when Robby explains the details of recommended aftercare.
Robby’s first instinct is to say no. He’s been saying no to planned outings since somewhere around 2022 – a nasty habit he picked up, denying himself any pleasure. But Scott, his new therapist, has been on Robby’s case about trying to get back out there, and learning to actually enjoy life again. Drinks with an old buddy sounds like a good place to start.
“Sure man, I’d like that,” he smiles shyly and nods. “You’re all set to go, by the way.”
“Great, thanks.” Matt smiles back.
Robby turns around on his heel and moves to leave the room. “Don’t mention it.”
He’s almost out in the corridor when he hears Matt yell behind him “Oh, and don’t forget to bring the missus!”
His face must be beet red, so Robby doesn’t bother turning around. Instead he throws a thumbs up over his shoulder and heads into another patient’s room. He prays that his face returns to its normal color before anyone gives him a hard time about it.
Throwing himself back into work doesn’t do much to stop the train of thought running through Robby’s head, about to derail. How the fuck did Matt reach that conclusion? Was Robby missing something? If so, then what? Then– Did Dana overhear?
He steals a glance towards The Hub, his eyes seeking Dana. It takes a second but soon enough she looks up at Robby and arches her eyebrow, immediately sensing that something is off. Fuck. Fuck. She nods her head towards the ambulance bay door once, and it’s that sharp, commanding nod that Robby can’t ever resist. He watches Dana signal to Perlah that she’s going for a smoke and then she’s off, expecting Robby to follow her outside.
By the time he joins her, she’s already pulling out her lighter. “What’s gotten your panties in a twist?” she asks, with the cigarette dangling from her lips.
Robby rakes his hand through his hair. It’s no use trying to lie to Dana.
“That razor scooter injury guy, that was uh– that was an old buddy of mine, from my med school days.”
“Oh?”
“Yeah he– he invited me for drinks this weekend,” Robby continues. He looks at his shoes, kicks a stray pebble. “Us, really.”
It takes an incredible amount of willpower to pick his head up and meet Dana’s eyes. Scott should be proud. Gold star for Robby.
“Matthew, he uh– he somehow came to the conclusion that we’re a– a thing, I guess,” Robby continues through gritted teeth.
“Wha–? Excuse me?” Dana stands back, and if Robby wasn’t in a great amount of discomfort right now, he’d laugh at the stunned look on her face.
“I tried to correct him but then Whitaker came running in, asking for help, and next thing I know Matt’s talking about drinks and tells me to bring you along but I was already out of the door – that drowning victim – and when I realised what he said it was too late.”
The silence that follows rings loudly in Robby’s ears and he lowers his gaze again, wishing Dana would say something. Hell, even a laugh would be fine, or an outburst of anger – everything other than the quiet.
Feeling like he’s fucked up enough, Robby decides that he might as well just pour it all out. Worst case scenario she stomps off, and they talk it out later. Best case scenario she laughs it off, and they forget it.
“I know I should have straightened it out right away, it’s just– fuck, he seems like he has it all, you know? Beautiful wife, a kid in college, some huge mansion up north.” Robby shrugs. “I dunno. Felt nice to know that in his head I’m not this,” he gestures to himself. “This wreck that I am. That I’m not alone.”
Dana looks over him suspiciously, but there’s a hint of softness in her eyes. He hangs onto it.
“So you want me to go be your pretend wife? Girlfriend? This weekend?”
“Hey, it’s not like you don’t owe me,” Robby shrugs. It won't hurt to bring out the big guns.
“Quick, c’mon. Come on, Robby, come here.” He felt a hand fisting the front of his button down, and a sudden pull. Dana’s breath was warm on his cheek. “There’s a guy at the end of the bar, he’s givin’ me the creeps.” He turned his head to see better but she yanked his shirt again. “Don’t look, are ya nuts? Quick, put your hand on my waist.” He did as she asked. “Great,” she said, then “Hi, baby!”, loud and high–pitched, so unlike her usual, husky voice.
Before he could register it, she leaned in, pressing a quick kiss to his cheek, barely grazing the corner of his mouth. He felt the side of her face brush against his, then her lips against his ear. “Okay, I think he’s gone now.” She pulled back and suddenly his face felt cold.
“Robby, that was twenty five years ago, what–” Dana looks at him like he grew another head. “Besides,” she shrugs, almost offended. “I was fearing for my safety!”
“Mhm,” he drawls. “Consider this me fearing for my delicate ego.”
Dana eyes him suspiciously for a moment. “Ah, what the hell,” she sighs and throws the cigarette butt on the concrete. “Okay.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah.”
“O– Okay, yeah. Um. It’s at 8PM, on Saturday. Lucky’s. It’s near my house actually, maybe you can uh– you can come to mine a bit earlier and we’ll walk there together?”
“Sure,” she nods and starts heading inside. Then, after a beat, “Babe.”
And with that she’s sucked back into the ED, leaving Robby out in the ambulance bay stunned and blushing again.
By the time Saturday rolls around Robby is a nervous wreck. He keeps catching himself pacing around the house, and beating himself up. What the absolute fuck was he thinking? It could have been so easy, a swift Ha, ha, good one but no. He could have come back to clarify instead of taking that snack break. He could have just said no to the drinks, come up with an excuse. That would have been easy enough; it’s not like ER doctors laze about, and Matthew knows it.
It’s just– it’s true what he told Dana. It did feel nice in the moment to be this put together guy: good job, nice house, beautiful partner.
Right.
Lying about the state of his life and his wellbeing is fine, it’s whatever. Robby lies about how he’s doing all the time. And sure, Dana and Jack always see through his bullshit but he’s pretty confident he’s got everyone else fooled.
Pretending to be in a loving relationship with Dana? That’s the whole other thing.
Okay, maybe he had – has! – nope – a tiny little crush on Dana when he first got to know her. Maybe he got swept up in her husky voice and her sharp humor. The way she commanded the ED; so much force contained in such a small frame. But that fizzled out quickly, shortly after he learned about Benji. He had no ambitions in becoming a homewrecker. Besides, the friendship that they’ve developed working alongside each other was so precious to Robby that it never crossed his mind to ruin it with romance. It’s not like he’s a catch, anyway.
There is no home to wreck now, though, Robby’s mind supplies, unhelpful in trying to keep his thoughts in check. He forcefully shakes his head, trying to get rid of whatever it is that starts creeping up in his brain.
Because anyway, so what? Dana never indicated– she’s never shown any romantic interest in Robby, she never dropped any hints. She’s always been a bit more affectionate with him than with others, sure, but that was the kind of friend she was. That was the nature of their friendship.
Suddenly the doorbell rings loudly, interrupting Robby’s thoughts spinning out of control.
When he opens the door, Dana brushes right past him and steps inside. “I’ve been thinking.”
“Why hello honey, it’s so good to see you too,” Robby drawls as he follows her down the corridor.
He hears Dana slam her purse down on the kitchen island counter and shuffle onto one of the tall chairs. Bracing himself for what she’s about to say he joins her in the kitchen. His lips curve upwards when he sees her feet dangle above the floor tiles. In an attempt at being a good host Robby opens the fridge – a box of wilted salad… a browning banana… ah – and pulls out two bottles of beer.
“Thanks,” Dana says. She shrugs off her jacket and takes a sip. “As I was saying, we need to set our story straight.”
“Right, okay. Yes.” Robby nods. There’s a pit starting to grow in his stomach; a big, red sign Don’t do this, man flashes in his mind. He sinks the feeling in a big gulp of his beer.
“How long have we been together?”
“Two years. Who asked who out?”
“Pff,” she snorts. “You asked me, of course.”
“Oh, of course?”
“Mhm. You were a blabbering mess but I, being kindhearted as I am, decided to give you a chance anyway,” Dana teases and hides her smile in her beer bottle.
Robby throws his head back in laughter. Maybe it’s going to be easier than he thought.
Over their beers, they hash out details that might give them away. Do they live together? “You would fuckin’ starve without me in the house.” Any animals? A pet lizard maybe? “Jesus Christ Almighty, Robby!” Is he planning to propose? Sure. “Sure?! And they say chivalry’s dead.”
“Wait, wait,” Dana pauses when they’re discussing the details of their domestic life. (Reluctantly, she moved in with him one year in. Obvious choice – his place is bigger. Plus, it needed a feminine touch) “That’s what you’re wearing?”
He looks down at himself. Black cargo pants and a dark blue zip up. A perfectly good outfit for a bar, right? He and Jack used to go out dressed like this all the time.
“Robby. Please don’t tell me you planned on leaving the house like this.”
He looks at her helplessly.
“Oh Christ, okay. Come on.”
With that, Dana hops off the tall stool and heads to the bedroom like she owns the place. Like she’s lived here forever. Robby trails after her.
By the time he reaches the bedroom she’s already digged through his closet. There’s a small pile of clothes on his bed that she picks up and thrusts into his arms. “Try this.”
There’s a strange domesticity in all this, in Dana bossing Robby around his own house. He smiles to himself but then something bitter settles in his stomach.
Tonight he gets a glimpse of a life he’s never had. He’ll never have, probably. He’s just cashing in a favor.
Done changing into the new set of clothes Robby steps back into the bedroom. “Well?” He opens his arms, presenting his outfit. It’s a very good outfit, actually – dark cuffed jeans, a white t-shirt and a dark navy knit sweater that buttons at the front. Robby didn’t even remember he had such nice clothes.
Dana’s eyes roam over his entire frame, top to bottom. For a brief moment something crosses over her face, but it’s gone before Robby can place it. He focuses on trying to stop the blush that he feels creeping up on his face under the scrutiny of her gaze.
“Yeah,” Dana says and swallows thickly. Her teasing tone is gone. “Better.”
8PM rolls around quicker than Robby’d like. They’re just around the corner from the bar when he feels Dana’s hand slip into his, her fingers intertwining with his. He revels in the warmth and the softness of her skin. Experimentally he brushes his thumb across hers.
It earns him a smile and a tug on his arm. “You ready, Cap?”
They’re standing in front of the bar and Robby’s heartbeat is pounding in his ears, but it’s too late to back down now. “Sure. After you, darling,” he teases.
She snorts loudly and pulls him inside. The bar is crowded, loud and dim – an environment that’s become foreign to Robby these last couple of months. Instinctively he grips Dana’s hand a little bit tighter and lets her guide them deeper into the space.
Initially the casual affection seems strange, unfamiliar – he and Heather weren’t really an outgoing type of couple, for obvious reasons, and with Janey… Robby’s not sure he’s even remotely the same man he was when he was dating Janey.
But then they settle into the booth, joining Matthew and Rachel, and it feels nice having the warmth of Dana’s body pressed into his side. They fit like two puzzle pieces – Dana’s shoulders fit perfectly under Robby’s arm slung around the back of their seat. He feels her nestle her head into the crook of his arm.
He loathes to admit it, but Robby feels himself actually relax. It’s nice to catch up with Matthew. He learns that Matthew checked out of practicing medicine right before COVID and went into research. In turn, Robby tells him stories of the funniest ER experiences he’s had.
When the topic turns to Matthew and Rachel’s kids, Robby’s heart squeezes with fondness. He and Matt were quite close during med school, closer than Robby remembered. To see his old friend – favourite drinking buddy, best study partner – settle down and have a great, happy life is an amazing thing.
“Okay, okay. Enough about us. How did this happen?” Matt asks, pointing his finger between Robby and Dana. “You two been together for long?”
Robby opens his mouth to answer but Dana takes the lead.
“Just two years,” she says and takes a sip of her beer. “I guess after twenty-odd years of friendship we finally noticed what’s been in front of us this whole time.”
Dana smiles at Robby and it’s one of those secret smiles, reserved for him. A private joke just between the two of them.
“Two years?” Matt asks, mouth agape. “But you’ve known each other all this time? What took you guys so long?”
“Ah, you know. I was married for a long time, and Robby was– well, Robby,” she chuckles. “And I dunno,” she shrugs. “Life got in the way, I suppose.”
Rachel looks between them and smiles warmly. “At least you got to build a beautiful friendship in the meantime.”
“Yeah.” He feels her squeeze his leg under the table. “We did.”
There’s a moment of comfortable silence around the table. Robby selfishly basks in his own reflection in Matt’s eyes; he slips into the role of a guy who goes after what he wants; who gets the girl.
“Should we get a second round?” Robby asks, slapping the table. He sees everybody nod enthusiastically. Maybe it’s the rush of getting away with a lie, maybe it’s the two beers he’s already had tonight that push Robby to place a hand on Dana’s shoulder and ask “Same thing again for you, honey?"
Dana’s lips stretch into a wide smile. “Sure, baby.”
Robby nods his head at Matt, asking him to help with bringing back their orders. When they both lean against the bar waiting for the bartender to bring them their beers Robby feels Matt nudge him with his elbow.
“I’m really happy for you, man! You look so– I don’t know, man. Happy. Dana seems great. You two make a cute couple.”
There’s a rush of heat creeping up on Robby’s face again, so he ducks his head and nods. “Thanks man.” When he feels like he has his blush under control he looks up, in the direction of Dana and Rachel chatting away. “She is great. I uh– I guess I got really lucky.”
For a moment he watches Dana. He’s known her for nearly half of his life, but it still steals his breath away, how beautiful she is. Bathed in the soft orange light of a sconce on the wall she’s practically glowing.
When they make their way back to the table Matt has that stupid smile on his face, one that Robby remembers from their youth.
“I noticed there’s a few dartboards in the back. You guys wanna play? Robby here used to rock that shit with his eyes closed.” He flashes Robby a wide smile. “You think you still got it, old man?
“I know you didn’t just call me old.” Robby laughs as he grabs his beer bottle. “Come on. I’m gonna beat your ass like in the good ol’ days.”
He turns around to check if Dana’s following them and his heart beats just a beat faster when he sees the wide grin on her face. Jesus, he got it bad.
As expected, Robby’s in the lead from the beginning, not missing a single throw. Matt’s not bad either, but he still manages to curve his throws without ever meaning to.
It’s Dana that surprises him. She’s absolutely terrible, missing every throw, always sending darts just a little bit too far away from her target. He’s actually howling with laughter at the sight of a stray dart sticking from the wall, just above the board.
“Okay, okay. Dana– Dana, baby, let me help,” he says, wiping a tear from his cheek.
Without thinking too much, he steps behind her and places his hands on her hips, adjusting her stance. Gently, he nudges her legs apart with his foot. “Just like that, yeah.”
It’s only when he bends down to see the board from her point of view, when he takes her hand by her wrist and presses his cheek into her hair; only then does he notice how shaky her breath’s become.
“Relax,” he drawls. He raises her arm and points the dart towards the board. “Easy. Throw on an exhale.”
He keeps his hand against her forearm as she aims, then throws, Miraculously, the dart lands in the double ring.
“There you go!” He laughs and wraps her in a hug. “Nice!”
Even in the dim light of the bar, Robby sees the bright pink blush that’s settled on Dana’s cheeks and ears; the quick rise and fall of her chest.
“Thanks,” she breathes. She holds his eyes for just a beat too long. Again, he sees something strange, something new, flash across her face but it’s gone in a heartbeat.
She smiles at him as she fishes her phone out of her pocket and hands it to Robby. “Record the next one. It’ll be a bull’s eye, trust me.”
He chuckles as he takes the phone from her, and goes to punch in the password (5555 – so much for cybersecurity). But his breath catches in his throat as he lights up the screen of Dana’s phone. On the lockscreen he sees an old photo – it’s an old photo of him and Louisa, Dana’s youngest, sitting in an armchair and reading together. What the fuck?
But before Robby’s mind starts to spiral, Dana’s voice pulls him back to reality. “Are you rolling?”
“Uh– yeah, just a sec.” He sets the camera up and presses “record”. “Give me your best.”
Dana misses, of course. The dart doesn't even land in the triple ring. But the grin on Dana’s face, and the twinkle in her eyes is more precious than any points Robby’s ever scored.
Quickly, Robby forwards the video to his own number and pockets Dana’s phone.
The rest of the evening is easy – Robby relaxes into the familiar game, and his banter with Matthew. But soon Rachel starts to yawn, and Dana starts to lean on Robby a bit harder, so they decide it’s time to call it a night. Robby finds himself wishing they’d stay a little bit longer, and what a strange feeling it is – to actually enjoy himself and have fun. But when Dana wraps her hand around his arm and gently tugs on it, he knows it’s time to go.
He helps Dana put on her coat, hugs Matt and Rachel goodbye, and soon he finds himself in the park again. This time it’s him who slips his hand into Dana’s.
“Didn’t know you still had those photos.” He begins as they walk through a dimly lit path.
“You kiddin’ me? Lou loves this picture, she asked me to scan it and send it to her a while ago.I found it right before I came to your house.” She smiles at him smugly.
“You know what they say, the devil’s in the details,” she says, as she stops in the middle of the path.
“Oh, is that so?”
Dana bites her lip and shrugs. “‘m just taking my role seriously is all.”
The park is quiet at this time of the night. There’s no rustle of leaves on the trees. The birds are gone, off to the warmer parts of the world. It’s just Robby and Dana, standing and looking at each other. There’s that twinkle in Dana’s eyes again, something that’s almost like a dare.
Robby glances in the direction of the bar they just left. “I uh– I don’t think they can see us anymore.” he says. He leans in closer anyway.
“Hmm yeah, but they did invite us to that thing in two weeks,” Dana takes a step towards him, closing the distance. “Might as well go full method,” she says as she hooks her arm around his neck.
Later that night, when he feels the warmth of Dana’s skin against his, when her lips trace a tentative path from his neck down to his hipbone; when the look in Dana’s eyes is so unmistakably loving, Robby revels in the fact that this is all real. And his to take.