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His name is Caden Thomas Wayne. He responds to “duckling” and “sweetheart” and “sunshine”. He is my son.
Caden is so named to keep in line with Clark and Conner, which I think is cute. Then Thomas is just blatant manipulation on Tim’s part. (The fact that Bruce AND Damian have the middle name Thomas is hilarious to me. Anyone at DC trying to give a Wayne man a middle name like guys I got it!)
But it also coincidentally fits well with Kon — I saw in one fic somewhere (don't ask me to remember, I don’t) that Kon’s name means “twin, clone” on Krypton. That's now canon to my fic because then Caden’s middle name is also a quiet reference to Kon — Thomas means “twin”
Tim: and while I am manipulating Bruce I will throw in a subtle reminder of my undying homoerotic love for my dead best friend
He does not sleep alone. He is sensitive to textures. Scratchy fabrics are not allowed. Neither are mushy foods. He won’t eat orange things.
Much like his father, Caden has that autistic rizz
Never leave him alone. Never yell at him.
His bedtime is 8PM sharp, once he adjusts to the new time zone. His favorite book is Le Petit Prince in the original French. His favorite show is Wendy the Werewolf Stalker. If he can’t calm down or sleep, turn on the musical episode (season 6, episode 7).
Buffy ref
If he begins to shift in place and avoid all speech and eye contact, he is approaching a meltdown; remove him to a private area and comfort him (he will want his stuffed whale for this). In case of an extreme tantrum, play the DVD labeled “Emergency Anti-Frustration Measures”.
Foreshadowing is a literary device in which—
Record updates on his health and mood daily. He is around four to five years old physically. His speech is advanced for his age. He needs consistent sunlight (at least an hour a day). He has yet to develop powers beyond hovering slightly. I haven’t tested his vulnerability.
In my head Tim is obsessed with monitoring Caden’s health because he's a human-alien hybrid. Yeah he's healthy NOW, but what if???
At the same time Tim not testing Caden’s vulnerability because he can’t contemplate purposely putting him in a dangerous situation... he's trying so hard guys he just wants to be a good dad
Clark can’t know. Luthor can’t know. Ra’s al Ghul can’t know.
He is everything I have left. If I don’t return within six months, make sure he knows that I love him more than anything. Tell him about Conner.
I’m sorry. Thank you.
Alfred: fuck. was i supposed to know shit about Tim's clone boyfriend???
There was more. Predictions of when and if the child — Caden — would develop powers. A list of his favorite foods. Topics to avoid and where he was in his education (Tim seemed to believe he was old enough to start learning chemistry). Instructions on how to decipher the coded notes on Caden’s health and assurances that he already had a basic understanding of secrecy and codewords. Tim explained everything.
Tim explained nothing.
Tim stopped aging Caden when he did at a very purposeful stage. JUST old enough to form lasting memories and so Tim can impress upon him the importance of keeping secrets and hiding, but small and young and cute enough to slip under his family’s defenses. Bruce is gonna have a harder time thinking "we have to eliminate this part Kryptonian threat made by an insane teenager" if the threat is the world's cutest 5 year old
Alfred folded up the letter, carefully tucking it into a hidden drawer. It would do until he decided on a better hiding place. Richard had to be told, of course. Master Damian too, though he wasn’t looking forward to it. The former was sleeping off a difficult patrol while the latter was in school. The timing seemed deeply uncoincidental. Alfred looked up to one of the curtained windows, wondering. Was Timothy still out there? He wouldn’t have been far when he dropped the child off. Judging by the extensive notes alone, Tim’s paranoid edge had sharpened if anything. No, he would have wanted to make sure the child was safely in Alfred’s care before he disappeared. But he also wouldn’t risk sticking around afterwards. Alfred would check the security systems — all of them — but he already knew that Tim was long gone.
Does he?
Caden was still in the sitting room when he returned. Kneeling on the floor with his backpack open next to him, he was stacking plastic blocks in a tower. Then, once it was taller than him, he knocked it over with relish, giggling at his own mischief. It was only as he started stacking them again that he noticed Alfred’s return. Utterly unconcerned with his circumstances, he smiled. “Are you gonna play blocks with me? Dad said you would play blocks with me.” Caden pouted. It was highly effective. “Dad promised.”
Manipulative genius … just like daddy
Alfred sat down to play blocks. This mostly consisted of stacking the blocks very high so that Caden could knock them down. Occasionally he was drafted to pick up a stray block. While Caden giggled at another successful game (more knocked over blocks), Alfred asked, “Young Master Caden, do you know who I am?”
“Yep! You’re Alfred! You’re Batman’s butler.” Those Kryptonian blue eyes were full of wonder. “Dad says you’re the best.”
“That’s very kind of him. And do you know your father’s name?”
Caden looked at him like he was dumb. “Duh. Tim Drake, silly.” Caden made grabby hands in the direction of a red block (the best kind). Alfred obliged him. “You’re supposed to watch me while Dad brings Grandpa home. Hand me the blue one.”
Oh, Tim. Alfred knew he was taking the loss of Bruce hard — how could he not, when he’d already lost so much so soon? — but he never thought . . . “What about your other parent?”
“Oh, my Pa’s dead,” Caden said matter-of-factly. “Dad made me so he wouldn’t be alone anymore. He said so before I woke up.”
Any adult: gently tries to ask Caden about a sensitive topic
Caden: yeah he's dead lol dad told me that when I was 2 hours old
Tim: no conception of what is appropriate to tell a small child I don’t know if you'll ever need to know this, but these are the stages of decomposition for the human body
Distracted by his own thoughts, Caden moved to rummage around inside his backpack, pulling out an action figure of a woman wielding a crossbow. “This is Wendy! She fights werewolves.” Caden briefly paused to play attack Alfred with the toy, then moved on like nothing happened. “Wendy was my Pa’s favorite show, so now it’s my favorite too. Dad played it all the time before I woke up. You have to watch it with me. That way you can skip any parts I’m not allowed to watch.”
Tim trying to decide if something is appropriate for his small child: ........ eh, just skip the sex scenes
The idea of Tim playing Conner’s favorite show for his attempted clones because he doesn’t want him to feel lonely or bored ... thinking of Kon alone in a tank, poked and prodded by scientists who didn’t care about him … wanting Caden to know he’s loved, that he’s a person, not a weapon … ow ow ow
“I would be happy to,” Alfred said, because it couldn’t possibly be worse than the moody horror dramas that Bruce watched as a child. “Did your father say where exactly he was going to look for—”
“No,” Caden said, blunt in the way that only children could be. “I asked him, but he said ‘No Caden’, and I said ‘Why not?’, and he said ‘Because I said so’, then I said ‘That’s not a reason!’ Then Dad got all sad and said he was sorry, but he didn’t want me to tell someone where he was even on accident, and I said OK and gave him a hug. Then he was still sad so we watched Wendy until I fell asleep.” Caden said all of this with a great flourish, looking so much like young Conner Kent that Alfred thought it must have broken Tim’s heart all over again. “Can I have lunch and then we’ll watch Wendy after?”
Kon "act first, think later" + Tim "analyze everything" = the world’s bluntest child who notices everything, and SAYS everything as soon as he thinks it
TIM SEEING HIMSELF PUSHED ASIDE IN FAVOR OF DAMIAN WHO’S GIVEN EXCESSIVE LEEWAY DUE TO HIS AGE AND BACKGROUND, MAKING A CLONE: and he will be tiny and young and adorable and all will fall to his charms
Tim to Damian: But then there will come another ... younger and more adorable ... to cast you down and take all you hold dear
Alfred was about to tell him that they should probably spend some time outside before lunch so he could get some sun, but that was when Dick found them.
“Hey Al, thanks for not waking me— that. That is a child.”
“A most astute observation, Sir,” Alfred said and carefully did not notice how Dick flinched at the address. He caught Dick’s gaze and held it, silently communicating the gravity of the situation. Dick stood straight. “This is Timothy’s son, Caden. Tim dropped him off this morning for a visit.”
Dick’s eyes widened a fraction. From one of the Bat’s well-trained children, this was the equivalent of a nuclear bomb going off. “Oh. I. Didn’t know he was coming over.”
Dick and Caden eyed each other. For such a small and innocent child, Caden’s gaze was awfully suspicious. That, Alfred knew he got from Tim. Caden stood, carefully setting his action figure on the table. Then he ran over to Dick and threw his arms around his leg, capturing him in a hug. Dick jolted, shooting Alfred several looks that amounted to The fuck am I supposed to do?!
“You’re Uncle Dick,” Caden murmured into his leg before looking up. “Dad said you’re gonna protect me. You gotta. Okay?” Despite his appearance, Caden was not four or five years old. He was weeks old and he didn’t know everything yet. But he knew his father best of all. And Tim had been very clear that while he could only trust Alfred, he needed his uncle’s protection. A world without Batman was not a safe world. Dad was bringing Batman back. He would be back soon. But until then, Caden had to rely on the mercy of his family. It was a lesson that Tim had impressed upon him with manic ears and fear in his voice. Dick needs to love you. He needs to love you more than Damian, and much more than he ever did me. That’s the only way you’ll be safe.
Caden: when i am 5 i’ll know everything there is to know
Caden didn’t shiver; Dad taught him better than that. He just hugged his uncle tighter and pouted until he was at his most adorable. Even Dad wouldn’t be able to resist letting him stay up for ten more minutes or have another scoop of ice cream at his most adorable. And Dad was very strict about bedtime and ice cream. He wanted Caden to have good habits since he didn’t have any himself.
“Of course,” Dick said, too late and too fast. “Of course I will.” He grinned wide and bent down to pick Caden up, launching him into the air. He caught him easily, naturally, eliciting a shriek of joy from the kid. Dick settled him on his hip and spun on his heel, marching out of the room. “Let’s get some food. Do you want some food? C’mon.”
Caden, being very small and tired and due for a nap soon, let out a sigh bigger than his body and rested his head on Dick’s shoulder.
“I want it on the record that I didn’t want to be here,” Jason said casually, ducking every time Damian swiped at him with a knife. “But the demon brat snuck out of school to follow me around the city. Says he’s making a list of my weaknesses.”
“Not that you were of any use,” Damian hissed. “You spent the entire day at that disgraceful establishment!”
“Trader Joe’s?”
“Yes!”
“Oh, sorry we don’t all have Alfred to cook and clean for—”
It was then that Caden muttered in his sleep, smacking his lips and tossing in Dick’s hold. He refused to actually wake up, leaving Dick to his predicament.
Jason and Damian stared. For once, Damian was speechless. Jason was not. “Dickwing. Where the fuck did you get this child.”
You can’t just let things go, huh, Little Wing? “He’s not mine.”
For some reason, this did not reassure Jason. “Yeah, I guessed that. So what, you decided to continue B’s proud tradition of kidnapping any dark-haired, blue-eyed child you see?”
Jason could not reasonably know Caden’s eye color at this point but let's face it, the odds WERE in his favor
“First of all, you’re the only one of us who could have ever been considered kidnapped in any legal sense.”
“The FUCK kind of response is that—”
“Secondly, it’s Tim’s.” Dick used his free hand to gesture to Caden. Ta-da. “He’s Tim’s kid.”
Dick was aware that this explained nothing. But it was about as much information as he had, so he saw no reason for Jason to complain. Jason didn’t see it that way.
“What the fuck,” Jason hissed, dropping Damian to the floor. (Damian simply fell into a roll and jumped back to his feet, scowling adorably.) “Isn’t the replacement twelve or something?”
“Or something. He’s seventeen, Jay.”
“Not any better, don’t call me that. Where the fuck did he get a child? Who’s the mom?”
“All excellent questions for once, Todd,” Damian said, finally seeming to remember himself. “I am also curious who entrusted Drake with their offspring.”
“I swear to God, if you two wake him up,” Dick hissed as Caden tossed and turned. Thankfully, the kid slept like a brick. Good. Dick did not have it together well enough to put up with all three of them. “Look. Tim spiralled a bit—”
“Typical.”
“—and tried to make a clone of Superboy, messed up, and made a kid with Superboy instead.”
Damian opened his mouth. Closed it. Repeat.
“That’s kinda gay,” said Jason.
“Jason.”
“In a nice way,” Jason insisted, which might have been the only time he ever said something nice about Tim. “I’m not a hypocrite.” Debatable. “We’re all kinda gay here. Plus, I don’t see a mini Spoiler running around . . . Right?”
Jason: kinda gay
Dick: Jason YOU'RE kinda gay
Jason: that's why I'm allowed to say it
“I’m pretty sure there’s not,” Dick said. “But I also didn’t think this little guy was gonna show up, so who knows.”
“Fuck,” Jason said with feeling. A little too much feeling, because it woke Caden up.
“Don’t curse,” Caden muttered. “Dad will make you put a dollar in the jar.” Snuggling closer to his uncle, the child tiredly lifted his head to look at the newcomers.
Tim trying to cobble together how to parent from his 3 terrible examples: ... that's a thing right? people do that?
Then he started screaming.
Jason and Damian rushed to cover their ears against the sound of screaming quarter-Kryptonian. It was a terrible, high-pitched drone mixed with the nails-on-chalkboard feeling of a baby crying on a plane. His little fists beat on Dick’s chest. The noise changed, taking the form of words. “DON’T! DON’T! GO AWAY! YOU’LL HURT ME!” Caden tugged on one of Dick’s ears as though to direct him.
Tim: oh I KNOW this is gonna make dick over protective
The night Caden was born, he was supposed to sleep on his own.
The clone had woken up after several days of accelerated growth until he was at the approximate physical state of a 4.5 year old, big enough to use complex sentences, form his first memories, and know how to react to danger in his environment. He woke up covered in the nutritious green goop he’d been suspended in. His first ever thought was Gross.
Tim Drake, his creator, stood in front of him.
The clone looked him over curiously, already knowing who he was. If he tried, he could remember snippets of Before. Tim Drake’s voice had been a constant presence when he was unconscious. Accelerate the aging program. Might be able to wake him by the end of the week, start running . . . I hope you’re okay. I know I messed up. I didn’t think— I wasn’t thinking, I was . . . I hope you feel . . . here, let me turn on your show. This was his favorite, you know. Maybe it’ll be yours too, but I don’t really know anymore . . . I think. I think maybe I should wake you up early, actually. Since you’re not. Not really. Okay. OKAY. Here’s what we’re gonna do.
It's interesting to think about the differences between Kon and Caden. Kon, poked and prodded before he was born, smashing through the glass to free himself. Caden, calm, almost analytical, asking Tim questions and trusting his answers. Scientists tagging Kon’s ear like he's cattle vs Tim talking to Caden constantly and naming him and playing Kon’s shows for him before he's born. I imagine Tim talking to him similarly to how a pregnant mother speaks to her baby bump. He probably read somewhere that it helps the child's development and never stopped.
[...]
Tim was checking how hot the water was when the clone asked, “Do I have a name?”
Tim almost fell face-first into the side of the tub. “What?”
Uh oh. Maybe he shouldn’t have said anything? “I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s—” Tim rubbed his eyes. Dark circles betrayed how tired he was. The clone remembered from Before that Tim had been with him almost all the time for the past week. He was pale and yellow and gross-looking. He needs a hug. “I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you. Of course you have a name.”
The clone’s eyes widened. “I do?”
Tim tried to smile. It didn’t really look right. “Of course you do. Your name is Caden. Caden Thomas Wayne.”
Caden Wayne. He repeated the name to himself several times. He recognized Wayne from his programming — Bruce Wayne was Tim’s adopted father. Did that mean . . .
“I’m sorry if you don’t like it,” Tim said suddenly. “I can change it if you want. Or if you want to change your last name, you could be a Drake or— or even Kent—”
Tim chose his name so deliberately, but loved him so fully that he would have made it work if Caden wanted something different. btw.
“Are you my dad?” Is that what Tim meant when he made him — Caden, he had a name! — a Wayne? If he was kind of Bruce’s son, then was Caden kind of Tim’s? But Tim didn’t look happy. He looked shocked and sad, and Caden messed up—
“Yes,” Tim said, voice breaking. He cleared his throat and brushed his eyes with the back of his hand. They were all shiny. “Yes, you’re— you’re my son. I’m your dad. If you want me to be.” Tim paused, waiting for something, but Caden didn’t know what. Tim cleared his throat. “And your— your other dad was Kon-El.”
Conner Kent, Caden knew instinctively. Superboy. “He’s dead.”
Tim winced like Caden hit him. He immediately felt bad. His Dad had been very kind to him. He didn’t mean to hurt him. “Sorry!”
“It’s okay,” Tim said quickly. “It’s. It’s not your fault.” Dad had turned away then, no longer facing him. “Let’s get you in the bath, okay sunshine?”
Fun fact! This is the moment when it fully hits Tim that Conner isn’t coming back and he can't change that! He will never make a successful clone and from here on out, he won’t try! And he doesn’t even get a moment to mourn because he's a parent now and needs to be there for his son!
[...]
Caden choked out a sob. “Duh! I have Papa’s eyes!” Then he threw the cookie on the floor and ran out, desperately wanting his Dad and not finding him. For the first time in his life, he was mad at Tim. He should have been there. He should have known Caden needed him. It didn’t matter if Granddad needed him. Caden needed him!
Caden didn’t know what to do, so he did the only thing he could. He ran to Tim’s room, threw himself on the bed, and cried into a pillow.
Kon was laying face-down on Tim’s bed at Titan Tower when he heard Bart shout his name.
Rereading my own stuff drives me insane because I didn’t even mean to do that ... what do you MEAN Conner and Caden both instinctively seek out Tim’s bed for comfort on other sides of the country, having never met??? What does it MEAN??! I didn’t do that on purpose when I wrote it, it just happened!
[...]
“Dude, I saw him,” Bart said. “Those are your eyes in baby Tim’s face. Plus, we both know how Tim gets when he’s alone too long.”
coming back to this shortly
[...]
Kon whipped around, tucking his hands behind his back. Oh my God, he’s TINY.
He was. He was so fucking small, it was hard to believe he could have been made from the same DNA as Kon and Clark. He could see what Bart meant, though. Tim was in those soft cheeks, the shape of his nose, the shape of his face.
COMING BACK TO THIS—
Resting heart rate: 68BPM. Low, but steady and consistent, and within healthy range. Mine is naturally low. Kon’s, too. Possibly a facet of Kryptonian biology.
Resting respiratory rate: 24BPM. Similarly low, but not dangerous. Considering the photosynthetic qualities of Kryptonian skin, it’s possible he requires little to no oxygen in the first place. His respiratory rate rises when he talks. He talks a LOT.
Hair: Black with cool undertones. Curly. He looks just like him.
And now we come back to it! Everyone else saying that Caden looks like Tim, but Tim says Kon. Of course he does — those are the people he loves
NO NOTES ON THE HALLUCINATION SCENE! This scene is perfect and everything I want it to be
Caden pouted, but quickly brightened. “I told Dad I wanna be called Superbat when I’m a hero — because I’m a Super and a Bat! — but he told me I can’t. He said you’d tell me why. Why?”
Bruce looked like he wanted to be back in the timestream. “It’s . . . already taken.”
“By who?”
“By Superbat.”
“Who’s that?”
“Yeah Bruce,” Tim said, biting his cheek so he didn’t burst out laughing. “Who’s that?”
“It’s . . . a big bat. A very big bat. With powers. It flies.”
No one appreciated this joke enough
also “it flies”??? you mean like a NORMAL BAT, BRUCE?
[...]
“I understand if you want to leave,” Tim said without warning. “Caden was my choice, not yours. I wouldn’t hold you to anything. But if you’re gonna leave, do it soon. I don’t want him to get too attached.”
“First of all, too late. Second, where the FUCK is this coming from?”
Tim hunched in on himself, scowling. “Look. I get that you like him. And he adores you.” The corner of his mouth quirked up in a smile reminiscent of Bruce. “He must get it from me. But you’re a teenager, Conner. God, not even — you’re like, five years old.”
“Biologically, I’m eighteen.”
“Exactly! You’re—” Tim cut himself off, thinking his words through. “I’ve never been a kid. Not really. Responsibility is my whole thing. Even Bruce couldn’t drag me from my son. But you . . . Kon, you haven’t even finished high school.”
The angst of Tim refusing to see himself as a child because he feels so responsible for everyone around him and Bruce made him his emotional support Robin, paired with Tim saying Kon is still a kid when so many people treated him like an adult straight out the tube ... im having a stroke
Caden is a naturally very trusting child, quick to forgive Dick and Bruce and Damian and Jason their faults, because Tim loves and cares for him so deeply and that's all he knows — ironically while Tim is doing his best to instill vigilante paranoia into him. But how lovely to be loved so well that you instinctively trust the world even when told not to
The title, suddenly you’re ripped into being alive, is a triple reference to Caden, Tim, and Conner. Caden is literally brought to life out of nowhere; Kon is resurrected, ripped back into the life he was so violently taken from; and Tim metaphorically comes back to life first when he makes Caden and has to put aside his grief to be a father, and fully once he's reunited with Kon. For all three of them, life comes with pain and sorrows and grief - but they're alive and it's beautiful