Chapter Text
Gally and Minho's relationship was complicated.
If you asked Minho, he'd say that he wished they could be something more but Gally didn't want them to be. And whilst Minho wanted to be more, he didn't care what label they had as long as they could be close. As long as Minho could have him, romantically or platonically, he was happy. He'd take whatever piece of Gally he was allowed to have.
But if you asked Gally, they weren't lovers, yet they were more than friends. Gally would say he wished that he was a girl. Not because he truly wanted to be. No, he was happy as a boy, but he wished he was a girl so he could love Minho without the fear of what God would think.
Gally didn't really wish he was a girl, he wished him and Minho could be together. And if one of them being a girl meant that they could, Gally wouldn't want Minho to change at all. He'd want him exactly the same, just with permission to love him infront of others.
For months, they just gave each other company. They never said how they felt out loud. They’d sit close at lunch, walk home the long way to chat more, let their hands brush and pretend it was an accident. Sometimes Minho would catch Gally looking at him for a little too long before Gally’s eyes darted away.
Until the night they kissed.
The first time they kissed, they had been keeping each other company after an especially rough night. Minho's dad was drunk, shouting about how it was Minho’s fault his mother was dead. Gally's dad was pissed about how close he'd gotten with Minho. Gally tried to tune out his yelling, but he remembered being called a few nasty names surrounding homosexuality. So, he did the reasonable thing and snuck out of his window to sit under the tree him and Minho had spent many hours under. It turned out, the shorter boy had also been there, knees to his chest and what looked like tears in his eyes.
At first, they didn’t speak. Just sat in a comfortable silence as their shoulders almost touched. Gally’s hands became steady, Minho’s breathing slowed.
And then Minho slowly turned to face the other.
He had hesitated before leaning in, slowly making his move so Gally could stop him. There was enough space for Gally to pull away. But Minho didn't want Gally to stop him. And when the boy placed a hand softly against his chest, his heart dropped. This was it. This was the moment Gally truly pushed him away for good.
Instead of pushing the shorter boy away, though, Gally reached for the cross necklace on his neck and unclipped it, placing it on the grass next to him with shaking hands before reciprocating the kiss Minho had leaned in for. It was soft, intimate, it was everything the either of them could wish for.
When they finally pulled apart, they both were breathing hard.
Minho had broken the silence eventually by questioning, “Why did you take your necklace off?”
Gally’s voice was barely above a whisper. "I didn't want him to see."
"God? You didn't want him to see what?"
"Me wanting something I'm not supposed to want.” Gally’s hand moved so he could use his thumb to trace circles on Minho’s thigh, trying to soothe himself. He needed to be grounded. “If I took it off, maybe it's just us. Maybe it doesn't count."
"Oh."
There was a silence that was now uncomfortable.
Gally looked at Minho, desperation in his eyes. "I needed this to not be a sin. Just for tonight. I want to love you without guilt for one night."
Minho didn't know what to say to that. So instead, he reached out and took Gally's hand (the one that had been shaking when he unclipped the cross) and held it. Gally's fingers were cold, but they curled around Minho's like they'd been made to fit there.
When the sky finally started to turn dark, they knew they had to go back. Gally sat up, picking up his cross necklace and attempted to clip it back around his neck. His fingers nervously fumbled around the clip, and he was still evidently unsteady. Minho softly put a hand on the other boy's, took his necklace and clipped it back on for him.
Gally nodded with gratitude but continued to look away. He stood up quickly, muttering, "I should go back before my father notices."
Minho nodded to him, even if Gally couldn’t see it. "Yeah, me too."
They kept the silence between them, and they ended up face to face again after brushing the grass from their clothes. Minho looked at Gally’s face, staring into his eyes. Minho wanted to kiss him again. And he could see Gally wanted the same thing by the way his eyes dropped to Minho’s lips before snapping away from him entirely.
Gally’s hand went to his cross, his fingers brushing over the cool metal.
Minho understood.
"Same time tomorrow?" Minho asked, trying to stop his voice from shaking and trying to make himself seem casual. Yet his heart pounded against his chest.
Gally hesitated, and his face showed something Minho could only name as longing, before it was shut down again and Gally spoke quietly. “Yeah. Same time tomorrow.” He just turned and walked away. He didn’t look back, but Minho knew if he did then he might not leave at all.
Minho watched him leave. And he just stood there until the boy completely left his sight before he even began his slow walk home, shoving his hands in his pockets. His throat burned and he wiped his eyes of tears that would never fall. The ghost of Gally’s lips against his own remained.
He wondered how many nights they had until they were caught.