Archive of Our Own

Playlist for a better experience: Video Games Playlist

And anyway based on this interview: https://x.com/i/status/2035402151946747957

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“I’m sorry, I won’t do it anymore.”

Soobin once mentioned in a unit magazine interview that Beomgyu had apologized for being too noisy while playing video games from night until dawn. Soobin might get angry at the noise, but something inside him always prevented him from holding a grudge. At the end of that night, they had made up and spent the remaining hours together in a comfortable, unexpected intimacy that had brought them closer than before. 

They are in the same group. That alone is why Soobin refuses to let any misunderstanding or trivial fight linger. He always tries his best to resolve conflicts quickly with his members.

Fortunately, Beomgyu is the cooperative type. He is always the one who understands Soobin best, which is why things always turn out easier whenever he is around.

“Fine. How about we play this together? If you win, I'll forgive you.”

Soobin smiled. In Beomgyu's mind, the heavy tension between them finally lifted. When Beomgyu smiled back with a cheerful nod at the gaming offer, Soobin couldn’t understand or define why his heart beat so erratically at the response.

That was the day Soobin realized he was terrible at understanding his own feelings. He constantly convinces himself that he simply admires Beomgyu's beauty or his vibrant personality. That is all it is; there is no way it means anything more. They are just teammates and roommates. Denial feels like a heavily convincing option.

Meanwhile, Beomgyu hasn’t stopped praising Soobin since that same interview. He spoke of how gentle and warm Soobin is, calling him the absolute best leader. He mentioned how much he loved being taken care of—especially back when he first arrived in Seoul. To anyone else, he sounds deeply in love, perhaps even obsessed. That is exactly what Beomgyu wants; he is planting hints, hoping they’ll eventually become impossible for Soobin to ignore.

Deep down, a voice screams inside Beomgyu: Can’t you see me? I am speaking so highly of you because I just want you to look at me the same way. This is me, the person who has loved you the most since the very first day we met. You should have known all this time... This is the real reason I keep irritating you. I just want you to notice me, Soobin. Why is it so hard for you to understand?

Caught in his own reverie the day after the interview, Beomgyu stands staring into Soobin's eyes with a look of quiet desperation. Soobin immediately notices that Beomgyu has zoned out, though he cannot fathom what his younger member is thinking. He reaches out and gives his shoulder a gentle shake. 

“Gyu, is everything alright?”

I want you to tell me that you love me, just so I can feel alright, Beomgyu thinks instantly, still staring into Soobin’s eyes with a desperate urge to be understood.

“Hyung, have you read my interview about you?” Beomgyu curses himself for being a coward who cannot speak his mind. Instead, he bites his lip, annoyed at his own sudden shift to such a professional topic.

Why can't he just mask his feelings like usual? Why couldn't he just reply with a simple, Yes, I'm alright? 

The unusual question makes Soobin raise an eyebrow. Beomgyu thinks it is fine if Soobin views him as a freak. It is perfectly fine, as long as it is Soobin doing the judging.

“Umm, yes, it’s really nice. Thank you, by the way... Have you read mine too?” Trying to keep the conversation flowing, Soobin feels the need to return the question. 

“Yeah... and have you ever thought of doing it again with me?”

Looking into Beomgyu's pleading eyes, Soobin feels his throat go dry. He swallows hard. That strange, familiar feeling washes over him—the same weight from the night they stayed up together. It feels surreal, yet, in the end, he cannot bring himself to say no. 

“Sure. I'll bring some beer, I guess... for tonight, if you want?”

“The beer doesn't really matter, hyung,” Beomgyu replies softly. “Because I just need you tonight.”

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"Tonight." 

That single word keeps resonating in Soobin’s ears. His mind cannot process what it truly means, but his heart refuses to stop racing. The night Beomgyu spoke of is finally here; it is happening right now. It means Beomgyu needs Soobin now. The realization hits him with the force of a physical blow. 

“Hyung? Why are you so silent? Did I do something wrong?” 

The misunderstanding strikes again, snapping Soobin out of his reverie. He cannot seem to focus on the game they are playing, but he still tries his best to clear the air, just like he always does.

“No, absolutely not... It’s just... maybe I'm already drunk.”

It is a lie, and Beomgyu knows it. He knows exactly what Soobin looks like when he’s drunk—flushed and sleepy. Right now, Soobin looks perfectly sober, as fresh as the day he first stole Beomgyu’s heart. Looking at him makes Beomgyu feel a sharp, aching sort of lovesickness. 

“Oh,” Beomgyu murmurs, his voice trembling. “Then how about you give me a kiss? Just a kiss, please? I want to get drunk on you too—” 

“What the fuck? Excuse me, Gyu?”

Soobin’s panicked reaction feels like a harsh rejection. The defensive, sharp tone hits Beomgyu like a physical blow. Tonight, Soobin is completely out of character. He is so distant that Beomgyu can only assume the worst: this is a total rejection.

Soobin doesn't feel the same way. He never did. 

I should have never fallen for him, Beomgyu thinks bitterly. I should have known better. How did I let myself act like such a fool? Should I just break down and cry about it right here?

“Hyung, you know what?” Beomgyu exhales, his voice thick with unshed tears. “I’m so tired of this. I don’t understand why you have to lie to me. Am I not good enough for you after all this time? Am I not worth the truth?”

“Gyu, what are you trying to say? Tell me, I'm listening—”

“No, you’re not! It’s obvious from the way you snapped at me. Fuck it. You know what? Just… fuck you.” 

“Gyu, come here... Are you drunk?”

“No! I can hold my liquor better than you ever could... you’re just… You fucking suck. Don’t touch me...”

The realization that Soobin does not truly understand his feelings hurts Beomgyu more than anything. After everything they have been through, he is the only one who truly knows Soobin. The love is entirely one-sided, and the urge to cry becomes overwhelming.

He simply cannot carry this weight anymore. After seven years together, it feels like he finally has his answer: Soobin does not love him. Beomgyu chides himself for letting his hopes climb too high, all because Soobin has been kind.

“Fuck...”

Soobin completely loses his train of thought, panicking as he witnesses Beomgyu's tears for the first time in the seven years they have lived together. This is the first time they have ever experienced such a painful emotional mess. Frantic to fix the damage, Soobin realizes that giving Beomgyu exactly what he asked for is the only way to solve this.

He pulls Beomgyu close, and they melt into a deep, desperate kiss—acting on the clear consent Beomgyu gave just moments ago. The aftershock of the touch leaves Beomgyu breathless. 

After seven long years, we are finally here kissing? It feels like a beautiful dream. 

God bless me –or us.

It is just like a video game: they have played, they have fought, and now they have reached the prize. The rush of affection gives Beomgyu the courage to finally lay his heart bare. This is a moment he cannot afford to waste.

"Hyung... this is it," Beomgyu whispers, breaking the kiss as another tear slips down his cheek. But this time, Soobin can see the happiness shining in his eyes. "This is really it... I think I'm in love—"

"I know."

The way Soobin cuts him off with his familiar, dimpled smile makes Beomgyu pout. It feels entirely unfair how Soobin can make his emotions ride a rollercoaster, changing his entire mood with a single expression. Yet, it works instantly; his heart softens, and he falls even harder.

“Let me finish, please?”

“Go on, I’m listening.” Soobin ruffles his hair gently, admiring the cute pout that Beomgyu does not realize is Soobin's absolute favorite expression.

“You know... that night we spent playing games together... I could sense how well we fit,” Beomgyu ventures, his cheeks flushing as he reaches out to hold Soobin’s hand. “Just like this. Our hands fit together perfectly. It feels like we are bound by a thread of love. Hyung, I am in love with you. Honestly, it has grown into something much deeper than just admiration over time.”

Soobin smiles warmly at the confession. He reaches up with his free hand to cup Beomgyu’s face. “Well, isn't it obvious that I want us to grow old together? You take the weight of the world off my shoulders every single day with your jokes. Thank you so much for that.” He pauses, letting out a soft, bashful sigh. "And I'm sorry about earlier. I didn't mean to snap at you. I was just so confused and frustrated trying to process my own feelings."

"That's okay, I understand." It is Beomgyu's turn to cup Soobin's face, tiptoeing slightly to bridge the height difference between them.

Soobin beams at how endearing Beomgyu is. Unable to resist, he hooks his arms under him and lifts Beomgyu up like a baby bear. Beomgyu lets out a small yelp of surprise before settling happily into the safe, warm embrace.

"My cute bear, I hope I'm not too late to finally admit that I'm in love with you, too.” Soobin leans down, pressing a gentle peck to Beomgyu’s lips. “Thank you for making me realize how I truly feel. When you asked me to kiss you earlier, everything suddenly clicked. Everything feels so much clearer now."

“You are so cute, Bunn." Beomgyu giggles, pressing his nose against Soobin's, stealing a few more lingering kisses. "So... can we be official now?”

“I would never say no to you.” Soobin seals the promise with a sequence of soft chaste kisses, carrying him toward the bed to explore a connection heart to heart much deeper than just playing video games. “You’re mine now. I love you, Choi Beomgyu.”

“I love you too, Choi Soobin.”

THE END