Chapter Text
It was a dark cloudy day, the rain was pouring down outside of the sick tent that you worked in and even though you had always loved the peaceful sight of rain pouring in the woods it was nothing compared to the blonde super soldier sitting in front of you. Steve had just gotten back from a fight with a bunch of soldiers, it was a miracle that they had survived but here they were with barely a scratch, except for Steve that is. He had somehow managed to get shot even though he had his shield but at the same time you were surprised that he hadn’t gotten shot sooner seeing how broad and tall he was.
”Eve?”
You look up pushing away the thoughts with a light smile on your face at the nickname.
”You are lucky that the bullet only lightly hit your arm you know” you say with a grin on your face, always being able to tease him a bit no matter the situation.
”Yeah well had to find some reason to come in here.” He said chuckling lightly.
You moved your eyes away from his blue sea of eyes before you drowned in them and started to wrap his arm with bandage.
”You can come in here even when you are not hurt you know?” You look back into his eyes.
”Not according to Colonel Phillips, last time he found out I came in here without an injury he was not happy to say the least.”
”Screw him aren’t you the captain anyway?” You said stepping closer, not realizing that if someone came in here it would look like you two were being way more than friendly with each other.
”The colonel has more power than the captain, you should know this.” He said with a grin so wide you had to bite your lip to not kiss him right there.
You could see his eyes breaking your eye contact as he looked down at your lips and raised his hand from his lap to land on your waist pulling you closer so you were now standing between his knees and as your mind flicker between if this was a good choice or not even though you had wanted it for so long, just as you started to lean in you heard footsteps coming towards the closed draperies of the tent.
”Lynnie!”
You quickly step away from Steve, his hand leaving your waist as the draperis slide to the side and your older brother Bucky steps in fully soaked from the rain.
”What now Bucky?” You sigh, slightly irritate by his horrible timing.
”Oh you know nothing just checking in, didn’t realize I was interrupting you guys though” he said looking at Steve who’s ears immediately started turning a redish shade.
You stand there glaring at your brother indicating him to stop but he just grins wider and looks over to Steve.
”Should I come back later or…”
You shove your brother not too hard but not gently either and he just chuckles as he stumbles sideways slightly.
”You know, Steve, normal people usually take a girl to dinner first”
”Buck” steve says burying his head in his hands.
”What I’m making conversation”
”What did you really want?” Steve says lifting his head from his hands.
”Colonel Phillips wanted me to come get you, he said it was important.”
Steve gets up and Bucky leaves and as Steve passes you he presses a quick kiss to your forehead before muttered ”we’ll talk later” and then hes gone.
————————————-
Steve had left for the meeting with colonel Phillips about forty minuets ago when you hear footsteps outside your tenet again. As they get closer you immediately recognize them because you have been hearing them your whole life.
”Lynnie!” Bucky sing-songs as he steps into your sick tent.
”Aren’t you supposed to be with colonel Phillips?” You ask with a slight smile on your face, noticing his bright mood.
”Nah he said I could leave, probably yelling at Steve or something.” He jokes and walks over to the sick bed and sits down. ”We are leaving for a mission in a few hours, were going too climb onto some train while its moving.”
”Sound dangerous.” you say fixing something on your desk whit your back facing Bucky.
”Its alright”
”You always say that even times when you come back with huge injuries:” you sigh slightly annoyed as you hear him standing up behind you.
”So… What were you and Steve doing earlier?”
You can hear the grin on his face behind you and you fight the urge to slap it off his face.
”Nothing Buck” you say turning around to face him even though you can still remember the way your heart had beat much harder against your ribs when Steve had reached forward and pulled you closer.
”The blush on your cheeks tells different” he says poking your cheek where you can feel the heat in your cheek.
You swat his hand away lightly and he chuckles.
”Just don’t wait too long Lynnie.” He says still a small size on his face but you can see that he means it.
You groan slightly, still trying to deny everything but the look in your eyes tells him everything he needs to know.
”BARNES!” You hear colonel Phillips yell from further away.
Bucky looks at you and quickly pulls you into a tight hug
”Good luck on the mission” You say as he lets go.
”Thanks, and Lynnie think about it.” He says with a slight smile before he turns back yelling goodbye over his shoulder.
You immediately understood what he meant, he wanted you to think about not waiting too long and as you watched him run away in the rain it was like a weight had been lifted off your shoulders after the conversation but settled in your stomach. You didn’t know what it meant but it felt like something bad.
————————————-
You don’t know how many hours had passed since you last saw Steve and Bucky, they were now off on a mission something about a train, Bucky didn’t have much time to explain except that it was dangerous before giving you a big hug and then running off to the rest of the guys. You couldn’t sleep no matter how much you tried it just wouldn’t come, ”we’ll talk later” the sentence kept running through your head. What did he want to talk about, how you had almost kissed? Thats a conversation you would very much prefer to ignore. What were you thinking, sure you and Steve were very close and has grown up close to each other but after the serum he could get anyone he wanted.
But at the same time he had pulled you closer too so was that just him doing it accidentally or did he want to kiss you too? You kept thinking for what felt like hours until eventually slept came.
—————————————
The next morning when you had just gotten ready and was on your way to eat breakfast you realized that Steve and Bucky would be back any minute so instead of breakfast you decided to go where they would arrive. Just as you got there the military cars started coming and a couple men came out and you searched for Bucky in the crowd bud couldn’t find him, you started to feel a feeling of dread in your chest until you saw Steve and that feeling exploded into grief, you immediately knew just by looking at him. You looked at Steve in confusion as he was walking over to you eyes watery with tears, face red he looked like he had been run over by a truck multiple times driven by grief and loss. As he came towards you he opened his mouth to say something but the only thing that came out was a quiet ”I’m sorry”.
”No, no, please.” You whisper, as Steve gets close you can see the sadness on his face. Everything starts to get blurry as you feel tears filling your eyes and rolling down you face. You back up slightly like it would somehow fix what had happened but Steve caught you hand and pulled you inte a big hug, you felt arms wrap around your back and he buried his face in your neck, clearly as devastated as you and you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him back as tightly as possible. Grief and sorrow washing over you as you sobbed into him and he moved on oh his hands to the back of you’r head trying to comfort you even though he was feeling the same way you did. Of course he did, him and Bucky had loved each other like brothers.
”Wha- why” you manage between sobs and Steve hugs you even tighter if that even possible.
”Shh, eve breathe” he coo’s in you ear but you can’t no matter how hard you try, every breath you take comes out as gasps as everything around you fades like it’s underwater, the only present thing is Steve holding you. You start to get lightheaded and tries to calm down but it's too much, he is dead, gone, you will never see him again, never tease him, get irritated by him when he is being annoying, never see that smile, never hear his laugh, all of that is gone. The only thing keeping you from collapsing is Steve still holding you while everything around you just continues.
You feel your knees start to give up on you fully but Steve is holding you so tight it barely makes a difference, you try to take deep breaths but they are still coming out as quick gasps and Steve pulls back a bit too look at you and you immediately collapse to the ground, arms and hand shaking while you think about your last moment with Bucky, how he said it was dangerous but that you shouldn’t worry, how he had hugged you so tightly almost like he knew. Steve follows you to the ground trying to help every way he can, taking your head in his hands to try and make you look at him.
”Eve, hey Eve”
”Eve look at me”
”Eve breathe”
”Evelyn please”
You feel his hand on your shoulder and try to take a deep breath instead of gasps and eventually manage, you are stil crying but can breathe better and Steve immediately pulls you closer into a hug, you are so caught up in your grief that you don’t even think about the way Steve is holding you like the most important thing in the world. You eventually gather yourself enough to speak and also realize how close you are to Steve.
”How?” You ask while wiping at your face, voice a bit hoarse.
”He fell from the train” Steve sniffles ”If I were fast enough I could’ve caught him, Eve I really tried, I’m so sorry” he says voice racing once again and he buries his face in your neck once again.
Eventually you try to stand up and immediately stumble but Steve catches you by the waist and you two start walking together.
—————————————
The funeral had been held a few weeks later although they naver found the body and it was only for closest family and friends so it wasn’t a big thing, Steve had been there beside you and you had comforted each other when needed, in a way the two of you had gotten even closer after Bucky died, you talked almost everyday now, you two had become a bit of emotional support for one another after losing Bucky seeing as you were both the two people closest to him. It felt kind of weird to hang out without Bucky, you barely ever did before but you two had grown pretty close.
—————————————
A few weeks later you were in your sick tent putting away some bandage into a storage cabinet when you start to hear footsteps.
”Eve!” Steve comes in wearing a pair of dark dress pants and a blue button up that really made his eyes stand out, he looked really well and wanted to tell him but felt that it might make things weird so you decided not to.
”We are a couple guys gong out in Brooklyn you should come with.” He said smiling eagerly.
”I dont know Steve I don’t feel like it today.”
”Please I think you would have fun, besides you need to get out of here eventually you haven’t left the camp since… well you know.” A silence fell in the small tent before you turned around with a sigh.
”Okay fine but at least let me change first” you said forcing a smile at the thought of Bucky.
—————————————
The pub you had went to was warmly lit and there was some jazz playing in the background, Steve had insisted on buying you a drink and you were now sat at the table with a few other military guys and Steve beside you. They were talking loudly about something, you weren’t really listening, you were staring into a wall thinking about why Steve would have invited you if he wasn’t going to talk with you, maybe he had excepted you to talk with the other guys around the table?
”Eve” Your thoughts were quickly pushed aside as you turn your head towards Steve who by the lok on his face, had probably been calling your name a few times before you’d looked at him.
”Are you okay?” He said looking a bit worried while his eyes drifted to the barely drank drink in front of you and then back up.
”Yeah I’m fine” you muttered sounding a bit annoyed for reasons even you didn’t know.
Steve then suddenly stood up and offered you his hand.
”Dance?” He asked looking at you eagerly.
”Steve I'm really not feeling it right now” you said in the same slightly annoyed tone as before.
”Oh common” Before you could argue you were pulled up from your seat and draged to the dance floor by your hand. Steve pulled you closer until your faces were just centimeters apart and he put one hand on your waist and the other held your hand as the two of you began to sway. You look up at him with an unimpressed look in your eyes and he just grins wider.
God you wish you could just wipe that grin of his face weather that was by kissing or hitting him didn’t really matter. You swayed for a bit longer and you could feel his hand drifting slightly from your waist to your lower back and you felt a heat grow in your lower stomach and your irritation drift away, you stared into his deep blue eyes before breaking the silence.
”Sorry for being so annoyed earlier, it’s been a rough day” you say still captivated by those eyes.
”No worries” he says before spinning you, causing you to giggle. When you come back his hand goes back to rest on your lower back and you bite your lower lip to prevent you from giggling even more. His eyes flick to your mouth before quickly coming back to your eyes, the heat in your lower stomach growing.
”You look beautiful by the way” he mutters shyly and you can feel you face heat up slightly.
”Thank you, you’re not too bad yourself” You say giving him a smile as you look deeply in his eyes.
Once the song ends you two head back to your table to find everyone getting ready to leave and you do the same. Once in the car you sit next to Steve and its a bit crowded sitting in a car with 4 military men, Steve is beside you and you are so tired that you eventually give up and lean your head on his shoulder. He looks down at you fondly where your head rests with your eyes closed and you breathing eventually evens out and he realizes you fell asleep. He looks back down and presses a light kiss on your forehead, carefully not to wake you as you drive back to the military camp.
It was around 1 a.m when the car arrives back at the military camp although you wouldn’t know because you were asleep. Steve looked down at you sleeping on his shoulder with a calm, fond look in his eyes as he admired how at ease you looked now instead of that sad look in your eyes that you wore so often nowadays, he memorized the image quickly thinking he would sketch it in his sketchbook later. The rest of the men in the car started to get out and he shifted you slightly so he could exit the car on the right side and then walked around the car and open the door, shaking you slightly to try and wake you. You mumbled something and just leaned towards him, he sighed slightly still a grin on his face as he slipped one o his arms behind your back and the other under your knees and slowly lifting you out of the car.
”She still asleep?” One of the guys asked with a teasing grin on his face as he saw the way Steve looked at you. ”Man she’s got you wrapped around her finger, carrying her out of the car?” Another one said as he lightly patted Steve on the back as he walked by towards the barracks.
Steve looked back at him with an annoyed look on his face even though his ears were bright pink. He looked down at once again. ”She seems so peaceful” he thought but didn’t say out loud as he began walking towards the nurses quarters. As he arrives to your room he knows that you are very bad at locking your door and if he has any luck now then you hadn’t locked it before you had left. He twisted the doorknob and quietly pushed the door open carefully so that you wouldn’t be woken up by the squeak the door makes that you had complained to him about so many times. After he closed he door behind him he carried you over to your bed and laid you down, gently sucking your covers up and fixing your pillow so your neck wouldn’t hurt in the morning.
As he stands up again looking over you once more with the quiet smile on his face he leaned down pressing a kiss to your hair.
”Good night Love” even though he knew you were asleep and then quietly slipped out.
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As steve got back to the barracks and swiftly made his way towards his bed he hears Dum Dum chuckle behind him.
”Tuck the little lady in?” Grin getting even wider once he saw the faint pink on Steves cheek and chuckled. ”Give her a little goodnight-kiss?” He said turning away as Steve coughed a little awkwardly.
”No, I did not.” He said calmly as he took his sketchbook out of his bedside drawer to sketch the image of you asleep in his arms still vivid in his brain.
”Oh common, you guys have been hanging ot every chance you get and you’re always looking at her with those eyes even before you got close. Its obvious:” Dum Dum exclaimed as he looked at Steve with an exhausted look on his face and Steve couldn’t tell if it was from the alcohol and how late it was or just because he thought Steve was being annoying.
”We have just gotten vey close after what happened to Bucky” he muttered and a silence fell over the room like it always did whenever he was mentioned nowadays. It made Steve sick by the fact that they couldn’t even mention him without everyone going silent like they just wanted to forget that it happened, forgot that buck excited.
”Look man” Dum Dum says with a sigh. ”If Bucky was here he would be pointing out the same things we are and would be exhausted by the fact that you haven’t asked her out, and we are talking about the guy that punched Evelyns last boyfriend in the face.”
”Yeah well he deserved it” Steve muttered sitting down on the bed, facing Dum Dum as he continued to talk.
”Yes but he would want for you to ask her out and Bucky wanting someone to ask Evelyn out is as rare as a blue moon.”
”Yeah whatever” Steve yawned laying down on his bed, sketchbook still in hand as he began sketching.
———————————-
The next day was your day off so it didn’t come to a surprise that you woke up at 11 a.m based off the fact that you came home around 1 a.m. As your mind started to wake up you could see from your window how it was a beautiful sunny day outside and that winter was slowly lurking its way closer based on the soft frost decorating the trees outside. You look around you and realize that you are wearing the same dress from last night. The memories of last night slowly come back to you as you realize that you do not remember getting back. But then you remember how you had leaned against steve in the car on the way home and then woken up slightly when you got back but just went back to sleep. And then the realization came as your heart dropped. Steve carried you back.
The shame immediately settled on you as you realize the position you had put him in after you had refused to wake up causing him to having to carry you. You felt so bad and embarrassed as you hurried yourself deeper into the warm pillows.
You laid there for a while longer than you probably should have, on the verge of falling asleep again until your stomach growled loudly. You slowly got up and started to get dressed into some more casual clothes. You start thinking about how you had made Steve carry you but started thinking that if he really hadn’t wanted to he would have tried much harder to wake you up. That made you feel a bit better as you quietly left your room and headed over to the cafeteria hoping to catch some leftovers from breakfast if there was any left.
——————
On your way back from the cafeteria after having managed to get some breakfast in you, you started hearing quiet footsteps behind you and out of nowhere you someone grabbed your wrist and pulled you back. As you stumble backwards slightly you feel another hand grab your waist and steady you. As you look up at the person you immediately recognize that it is, in fact, the last person you wanted to see right now. Steve.
”Sorry didn’t mean to pull you with such force but you just kept walking when I called your name.” He said rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.
”Oh sorry, I was deep in my thoughts:” you said looking down, still a bit ashamed by the fact that he had carried you las night.
”What were you thinking about?” He said and he sounded genuinely interested.
”Oh nothing, I just overheard something in the cafeteria that really stuck in my mind.” You said, still looking down and you could feel the warmth blooming in your cheeks. You both knew you lied but Steve couldn’t understand why you would. You two had known each other for years.
Steve gently lifted your gaze towards his eyes with two fingers under your chin. You could feel how your stomach was filled with butterflies at the act and was sure you had a blush on your cheeks.
”Eve, have I done something to make you now want to talk to me?” He said with such a worrying look on his face you heart ached at it.
”No” you said trying to look away but his fingers stayed.
”Evelyn” he said tilting his head slightly which made it even more impossible to not tell the truth. ”Please tell me.”
”Im sorry I fell asleep yesterday in the car. And for putting you in a position where you felt like you had to carry me back to my room because I didn’t wake up. Im sorry for being so annoying and boring last night at the pub and for making you feel like you had to dance with me.” You blurted out quickly and the surprised on his face didn’t help one bit. Intill that smile turned into a warm smile.
”Eve you didn’t make me do anything, I did all that freely and happily. And I know that the last coupe weeks have been tough on you so you weren’t `boring´ or `annoying´ okay?” He said shifting his fingers under your chin so that his hand was cradling your face.
”Yeah, sorry.”
”Dont apologize.” He said stroking his thumb lightly on your cheek, staring straight into your eyes. You could feel your heart beating and you were almost sure that it was visible.
”You know what?” He said with a slight smirk growing on his face. ”Do you remember that talk I promised you a couple weeks ago?”
”Yeah.”
”Meet me at your sick tent at 2 and we will take a little walk.” He said as you nodded slowly.
”Okay.” You said with a smile growing on your face.
”See you then.” He said dropping his hand from you face and turning away, walking towards the barracks. Leaving you standing there, heart beating so hard that you could both feel and hear it, blush still visible on your cheeks, you could still feel where his hand had graced your face and now you had something new to look forward to today.