Work Text:
See You On The Other Side
"See you on the other side." Sirius said. Remus turned to glance at his friend. They were the last two on the train, Sirius hovering in the door of the compartment after James and Peter had already left.
It was their first time returning home for the Christmas holidays from Hogwarts. The two weeks ahead seemed bleak compared to the laughter and adventure of the school, but not enough to warrant Sirius's morose expression.
"Sure, I guess." Remus replied.
"See you on the other side." Sirius said before his first quidditch tryouts, as he parted ways with Remus, fingers curled around his broom.
"Good luck." Remus replied, before going to sit in the stands with Lily, not seeing how his friend's eyes remained trained on him.
"See you on the other side." Sirius joked before the first time he took a date to Hogsmeade. He said it often now, even before mundane things, like a boring Transfiguration lesson.
"Yeah." Remus said, not looking up from his book. The common room fire was warm in front of him, but a little cold section of his heart seemed to be crawling over the rest at that moment. He didn't know why he was irritated about his friend's big date. Maybe it was the full moon.
Nevermind the fact that the full moon was still a week away.
"See you on the other side." Sirius whispered to him, underneath the invisibility cloak. It wouldn't be their most eccentric prank ever, just some dye in the Slytherin uniforms, but it would still be funny.
"Of course." Remus replied, ignoring the way his stomach flipped when their eyes met, silver to honey, for a moment too long.
"See you on the other side." Sirius muttered, before the summer between their fifth and sixth years. Remus knew the familiar look in his eyes now. He wished he could do something to help it.
"Always," He murmured back, brushing their knuckles together as they walked out of the train compartment.
That got him almost half a smile, which was pretty good.
"See you on the other side." Sirius said before their first OWL exam, the bravado in his voice cracking slightly, though Remus couldn't imagine why. He'd never once seen his friend struggle in an exam.
"If I survive." He said dryly, earning a laugh that sounded like perfect silver bells.
"See you on the other side." Sirius grinned before their first Order mission. He was excited to be doing something to help. Remus was wary, more aware of every way this could go wrong.
"You'd better." He pushed his frown away and leaned in to kiss his boyfriend, praying it wouldn't be the last time.
"See you on the other side." Sirius said abruptly, in the silence of another argument. Remus turned away from the door for a moment, to see him staring at his hands.
The anger was too fresh. Remus turned his back on him, opened the door, and left.
He would spend more than a decade wishing he hadn't.
"See you on the other side." Sirius smiled at him, an occurrence that had been rare since his return from Azkaban. The mission was only walking into the Ministry, getting Harry, and walking out. Well, it wasn't, actually, it'd be full of Death Eaters, but it wasn't anything they hadn't survived before.
"How come you always say that?" Remus replied, planting a kiss on his forehead.
Sirius shrugged. "Just feels right. Reminds me that there's an end. That I'll be back with you one day."
Remus smiled, thinking of the end - the 'one day' - that was waiting for them on the other side of this war.
Remus curls himself into the corner of his - his alone now - room, sobs wracking his body. How can it have only be a day since he was beside him? Since his silver eyes and midnight hair were curled up beside him in that bed?
He wants to scream. He wants to curse Dumbeldore, and the stupid Order, for putting them in there in the first place. He wants to crack the bed in two. He wants to crawl into it and never resurface. He wants to burn the whole house down. He wants to stay there forever, holding onto every scrap of Sirius that he can find.
The image keeps replaying in his mind. Sirius falls through the veil. And Remus leaves him. He doesn't follow, because he knows that he has to get Harry out.
A part of him knows it was the right thing to do.
A darker part, still bleeding fresh and raw, wishes he'd thrown himself through after him.
He holds onto his memories of Sirius like broken glass cutting into his palms. They're already slipping away.
He holds onto Sirius's lie, too.
"See you on the other side." He says to an empty room, voice hoarse with grief.
The only reply is silence.