Work Text:
They’re finally on the way back to the dorms after finishing their long shoot for the Here I Am intro film. It’s almost completely dark in the car if not for the glow of the moon reflecting off the snow and the passing light from the streetlamps.
They’re squished together in the backseat, but given how cold it is, it’s almost a relief to be stuck so close to each other. The shoot was a bit miserable, but in their position they had no right to complain.
Hanbin can see their reflection in the rearview mirror from where he’s sitting, squished against the door. He’s trying to leave a gap of space between him and Zhang Hao, since the last thing he wants is for Hao to be uncomfortable just so Hanbin can have a little extra legroom. It’s not as if it’s a terribly long drive anyway.
Through the reflection, he notices Hao’s eyelids drooping, but he never quite gives into the pull of sleep. It’s cute. Hao is often really cute without trying to be, or at least Hanbin doesn’t think he is.
Minutes pass and Hao’s head starts dipping as if the weight is too much to hold up on his own, so it makes sense when his head finally drops onto Hanbin’s shoulder. Still, he immediately stiffens.
“Tired, hyung?” He hopes it doesn’t sound as shaky to Hao as it does to his own ears.
“Mm,” Hao hums in agreement. He clearly doesn’t intend to move now, even if him leaning into Hanbin’s side was unintentional, he doesn’t seem uncomfortable with the idea.
Hanbin takes the risk of looking down at Hao. At the same time, Hao shifts a little and opens his eyes to look up at Hanbin. They’re centimeters apart. Hanbin feels his face heat up at the same time as he feels an embarrassing twitch in his pants. He has to will his body to not betray him, be normal, be normal, be normal—
Hanbin isn’t exactly a discreet size. If Hao looked down, he would be able to tell if Hanbin was turned on. It would be disastrous. He’d never be able to come back from something like that. Hao would probably think he’s a pervert and a freak. Who gets hard from just being close enough to hypothetically kiss someone?
Maybe he is a freak for getting a little turned on. It’s just that Hao is close, and pretty, and smells nice— He should not continue that train of thought while fighting a boner.
And what if the car suddenly moved weirdly? They could kiss by accident! Well, it was more likely they’d just knock their heads together, but then it would at least be a bonding experience.
Oh, God. He’s reached a new low. He’s pathetic.
Hanbin isn’t used to feeling so off balance when faced with a new… friend? He doesn’t get ‘crushes’ that often. The last time he wanted to get closer with someone was when he met Matthew, and it was so obvious that their relationship would be brotherly. The closeness he felt towards Matthew was so starkly different from the feelings he currently harbored for Zhang Hao. How anyone was making the mistake of thinking there would be some kind of love triangle, he didn’t know.
“Do, um, do you want to talk?” Hanbin internally curses his own stuttering. “Or you could nap? That’s fine too.”
Hao shakes a little against his side, and Hanbin recognizes it as a silent laugh. It makes him relax just a little.
“Talk. What about, Hanbin-ah? We’ve been talking all night.” He’s right. Hanbin doesn’t know if Hao is testing him, but a response flies off his tongue before he has a chance to stop it.
“Hyung, I think I could talk to you forever and never get tired of it,” he holds his breath as soon as it’s out. He hopes it at least sounds smooth.
Hao looks a little shocked, but his face softens quickly into an endeared smile. Hanbin doesn’t just feel like he can breathe again, he feels the same high he felt when him and Hao were both picked as centers. Hell, it was almost as good as when he got chosen for the killing part. Almost.
“We should talk more, then,” Hao says warmly. “We should…”
Hao pauses for a moment, brow furrowed as he looks for the word. Hanbin wants to help, but he’s not quite sure where the other is going with his sentence.
“Trade? Exchange! Exchange our phone numbers.” Hao’s eyes widen with excitement as he finds the right word, and Hanbin nods, matching his energy. Hao is so cute. It’s not because he struggles with his words or anything. Obviously, Hanbin knows Hao’s Korean is excellent, to the point that it’s hard to believe he’s only lived there for a year. It’s more so something about his way of speaking that is extremely cute. It’s not quite like anyone else he’s ever met.
More importantly, Hanbin can’t believe Hao is bringing this up first. He was going to get Zhang Hao’s number, and he didn’t even have to ask? All he can do is continue to nod as Hao speaks.
“That way, we can still talk after we leave for the first break.” Hao smiles a little more shyly, but Hanbin isn’t sure what Hao could possibly be shy about. Maybe he’s worried he phrased something wrong?
“I’d like that a lot, Hyung,” Hanbin sighs his words and wonders if he’s being far too obvious about his crush. Or maybe he’s not being obvious enough…
Recently it’s really started to hit him. Everyone is nice, everyone is pretty on board with skinship, and it’s almost weird just how many of them are like-minded, if you catch his meaning. Everyone’s been very close.
That’s the thing, though. There are so many good-looking guys with talent that also fit the criteria for being a good potential partner. It keeps him up some nights. Even more than all the snoring does. If Hanbin doesn’t make his first real move before their break, won’t one of the other ninety boys here beat him to it?
Sure, he’s made some subtle moves already, but they were just that. Very subtle flirting with hardly anything solid for Hao to grab onto. If someone else came forward, what reason would Hao have to say no? Hanbin might be a front-runner in the competition, but would he also be a front-runner in Hao’s heart?
Not with lines like that, he wouldn’t be.
He tries to think if he’s seen anyone else interested, but who wasn’t interested in Hao? God, if Kim Jiwoong made a move on Hao it would be over for Hanbin. He can’t compete with that. He doesn’t have abs like that!
“What are you thinking about?” Hao’s question startles him out of his own thoughts. “You’re thinking about it pretty hard.”
“Uh, just,” Hanbin stutters as he grasps for a lie. Lying has never been something he’s good at. “Thinking about what to text you first.”
Hao laughs and it makes Hanbin jump a little. He doesn’t think it was funny. Was it funny? Maybe Hao is laughing at him because it was stupid?
“I’m excited to see what it’ll be, then.” With one last fond look, Hao closes his eyes again. “We’re almost back, I’ll let you put your number in once they give us our phones.”
“Sure,” Hanbin says and gingerly rests his head atop Hao’s. Not fully, just enough to test the water.
Hao doesn’t speak again or open his eyes from where Hanbin can still see them in the mirror, so he finally relaxes completely into the warmth of Hao against his side. The rest of the ride isn’t spent talking, but Hanbin finds that he doesn’t mind at all.
—☏—
Sung Hanbin:
Practicing! 😊
[image attached]
Zhang Hao 🐬:
oh
wait this is the message you were thinking so hard about??