Chapter Text
“Hey dad, can we play some music? I do like the sounds of the road but the quiet is getting kinda uncomfortable” Jack said from the back seat. Castiel, Jack, and Sam were sitting in Cas’ car, the one Dean keeps calling the ‘pimpala’, driving back to the bunker from a supply run. They had been stuck in traffic for the past 11 minutes, and it was extremely boring . “Yeah, you have any CD’s hidden in this thing?” Sam, sitting in the passenger seat, starts looking around for the music. “They are under your seat Sam. I don’t have many. Dean said he would take me to get more.”
Sam reaches under the seat to find a small shoe box. He opens it to find a small number of CD’s, maybe 9 or 10 in total. They range from Metallica to Radiohead, Queen and ABBA, and most surprisingly Bruno Mars and Chappell Roan (gifted to him by Claire).
Sam searches around in the box and pauses. Cas glances over, to see that Sam is holding up a tape. Cas recognizes it instantly; it’s the tape that Dean gave him, the one titled “Deans Top 10 Zepp Mixx”. Sam’s face is in a mix of what seems to be confusion, horror, .. and amusement? “Did.. did Dean give you this or did you take it?” Sam twists his head to look at the former-angel so fast that Castiel is unsure of how he didn’t get whiplash. “He gave it to me. I would never take something of his. It was a gift,” Cas smiles softly at the memory. He had never received a gift before that tape in all his many millennia of existence.
Sam’s face changed in an instant. The shock smirk that he had before, was now replaced be a large grin. “Dean… gave you.. a MIX TAPE???” Sam’s increasing volume and joy startled Jack, causing them to jump in their seat. “Yes. Is that a bad thing?” Cas was extremely confused. Why was Dean giving him a tape such a big deal? Why is Sam freaking out? Why hadn’t traffic moved yet?
“A bad thing? Cas. Do you have any idea what this means?!” Sam held up the tape as if it was the last salad on earth, or maybe an ancient artifact. “No? Should I?”
Sam gave him, what Dean would call bitch-face-number-72, before setting the tape down in his lap. “I asked him once when I was fourteen if I could make one for this girl I liked. Dean absolutely flipped his shit when I asked. He said, and I quote ‘Sammy have you lost your damn mind?? You don’t just give, let alone make a tape for anyone. You make it for the person you want to spend the rest of your life with. It’s going to be the music at your wedding. Your kids birth and graduation. You can’t just make it for some random girl Sam! It has to be special’”
Jacks eyes and smile grew wide, understanding what Sam was getting at. Cas on the other hand, was now even more confused than before.
Sam continued his story, “He went on a whole tangent about how he would only make one. One singular track, that would ever be given to another person. He made it the same day just to prove his point. He put the music our parents fell in love to over onto a tape and titled it ‘Deans Top 10 Zepp Mixx’. This is that track. THE TRACK.” Sam eyes shined brighter than the sun as he waited for Cas to get it.
So what? Dean made a tape that would only ever be in the possession of another if they were the person he wanted to spend the rest of.. his..
Wait. He gave that tape to Cas.
Oh.
OH.
OHHHHHHHH.
‘No he couldn’t mean..?’
“Sam. What are you implying here.” Cas’s now human heart was pounding in his ears. Sam couldn’t possibly mean that Dean loved Cas back could he? That Dean gave him one of his most prized possessions. The one that the man had planned on giving to his future spouse, the person he wanted to spend the rest of his life with when the time came.
“Dad, you know EXACLY what he’s implying!!” Jack squealed.
Castiel paused.
No. He had already told Dean he was in love with him ages ago, and he said nothing. Dean stood there and said nothing and then he died. And even when Castiel came back, he had still said nothing. Didn’t even mention it. ‘No. No, he doesn't love me back. Not in that way. He would have said something. He knows I love him. Dean. Would. Have. Said. Something.’ Was all that was running through Cas’s head.
It had only been a few months since Jack brought Castiel back from both heaven and the empty, after assuring that the biggest plains of existence were remodeled. Heaven has lost its walls, souls in hell are now being judged fairly, and purgatory is.. well it’s purgatory. Cas came back as soon as he possibly could, back to Dean. To his family. He died confessing his love for the man he both figuratively and physically fell for. And that same beautifully stupid man had said nothing. Nothing..
But what if. What if he did love him back? Sam himself just said that Dean gave Castiel the grandest show of love he could possibly give. But what if he just wanted to get rid of it? What if. What if. What if.
Cas couldn’t stand to contemplate all the possibilities, but if Sam was right.. could it really be possible?
cas
Cas
“CAS!”
“CAS!!”
Sam was now nudging his friends shoulder. “Cas are you alright? Snap out of it man!” Castiel came back to reality, looking around. Traffic still hasn’t moved an inch, he didn’t remember how long they’ve been sitting there. “Dad.. you okay?” Cas looked back at Jack who had a concerned look on their face.
“Yes. Yes I’m alright I just… are you really sure he loves me back?” He was still in shock at the idea. Sam’s worried look softened. “Yeah Cas, I’m one hundred and 20 percent sure of it. I have been there since you met. There is no way in hell, heaven, or PURGATORY that he isn’t head over heels for you!” Sam put the box back under his seat. “Now the only question..” he inserts the CD he had picked out. Queens ‘Old Fashioned Lover Boy’ starts playing over the speakers. “…is what are we going to do about it?”
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And then the idea came. Well, Jack's idea came. Cas would make one too. A tape, one that would show just how much he cares about Dean, how much he loves him. He just has to pick the right songs..
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It took another 40 minutes for them to get home. Dean greeted them with some homemade burgers… which were now cold. “It was only supposed to take 30 minutes, not 2 hours! It’s not my fault!” Sam groaned sitting in one of the chairs in the library. Dean was sitting on the other side of the table, cold drink in hand.
“Yeah well, you missed your chance! Looks like you’re either gonna have to go to bed hungry or eat cold burgers. Your pick. And don’t give any to Miracle, he’s had enough!” Dean teased as usual. “And don’t you DARE microwave them! You come home late you eat it cold!” He says, mouth still full of his own burger.
“I don’t know, I like cold burgers! Well, I like them hot more but eh, a burger is a burger!” Jack said, chowing down on his own food. “I am indifferent, but as Jack said, a burger is a burger’ “ Cas is seated next to Jack, drinking tea that the girls had gifted him for Christmas one year.
‘Speaking of the girls actually..’ he thought. Dean stood from the table at the same time Jack finished his plate and Cas finished his tea. “Yeah, well enjoy that. I’m gonna hit the sack. G’night!” He called walking toward one of the many hallways, Miracle on his tail.
“Good night Dada!”
“Night’”
“Goodnight Dean.”
The other boys all called out, all simultaneously tilting in their chairs, watching for when he enters his room and closed the door. Once the creaking of a door stops, and the soft sound of the door closing ends Sam and Jack immediately turn to Cas.“So? Any ideas on what you’re gonna pick?” Sam whispered.
Cas thinks for a sec. “No not yet. However, I do think we should invite Claire over seeing she has much music experience and has been trying to help me set up a ‘Spotify’ account for a while now. I still don’t know what a ‘Spotify’ is but she mentioned music” Jack pulls out their phone. “Here let me call her and fill her in!”
It takes a few rings for her to pick up. “Hey sun-spot, what up? Me and Kaia just got back from a hunt so you might wanna make it quick” Claire says sounds exhausting, which considering her story is to be expected. “Hey Sis!! We need some help with something BIG!!” Jack sets the phone on the table. “We?” Claire asks, Kaia’s voice can be heard in the background. “Yeah, it’s me Dad and Sam. We need your help on some music advice!”
“Why didn’t you ask Dean then? He’s more of the music expert anyway”
“Cause this is about Dad and Dada! Sam why don’t you explain?” Jack pushed the phone towards the man. “Alright, so get this..” Sam explained the situation and how they need some music recommendations for Cas to look through to confess to Dean AGAIN.
“REALLY? That’s kinda tacky but actually, and I hate to say it, really cute. Well looks like I’m in. What do you need?” Claire says sounding almost disappointed in herself. “Mostly just music recommendations and any other ideas you may have!” Sam states, finishing of the water he had with his meal. The room is silent for a beat, until Claire erupt in a series of “WAIT!”’s and then after whispering to Kaia, “awwww”’s. Once calm enough she begins to talk; “What if, and hear me out, what if you pick a song and state why you picked it after it plays? That would be so cute, I mean gross but still cute!” Jack grins and violently shakes their head yes. “YES!! THATS A GREAT IDEA!! Now all we need is the music!!”
Sam, Claire, and Kaia start naming off random bands that Dean likes, Led Zeppelin, Megadeath, metallic, and even Taylor Swift (though he would never admit it). Nothing felt right. No name peaks his interest until he hears a name he’s never heard before.
“What about Hozier?” Who?
“OH I LOVE HIM YES !” “YES!!” Jack and Kaia say at the same time. “I love Jackie and Wilson, that’s gotta be one of my favorites, and his music would be absolutely perfect for Destiel!” Kaia mentions. “Who is Hozier? And wait what’s dest-“ “-YOU DON’T KNOW HOZIER???” all three young adults shout. “Well we are changin’ that right fuckin now!” Claire could be heard tapping at her screen. “Here I sent you a playlist! Listen to that immediately.”
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Claire and Kaia hang up, after providing many, many more song recommendations. Castiel thinks some of these songs are a little on the nose; most of them have obvious religious references just based on the titles alone.
“Excuse me, I’m going to head to bed now. I’ll see you in the morning.” Cas stands from his chair. “Night Cas, have fun with the music picking” Sam picks up the dishes left on the table. “Night Dad!! Love you!” Jack waves as Cas walks away. “Love you too, Jack. Goodnight Sam.” The man says softly before heading towards his room.
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He decided to check out this Hozier person before he slept.