Chapter Text
Chapters to Suicide
‘I can’t change that, and neither can you.’
Chapter 1: The Opening. ’
Stan lay there in bed, in the room he hated and in the house he despised. His legs hung off the bed as his favorite blanket barely covered him. His stormtrooper alarm clock is blaring as his mother shouts from downstairs.
“Stan, honey– breakfast!” said Sharon.
Stan rubs his eyes as he quickly responds, and he falls out of bed. “Yeah! Got it, Mom, I’ll be down soon–” he couldn’t finish off his response as he thudded onto the floor.
He lay there for a minute, as he couldn’t muster the strength to get up from the floor. He drooled actively on the floor as his Mother continued to shout.
“Stanley!” she shouted, Stan immediately lifting his head.
“I fucking get it, mom! I’m just– on the floor.” Stan said.
“The floor? What are you doing on the floor!”
“I feel alright! I’m getting up now!” Stan said, as he bad-mouthed his mother under his breath.
He walked downstairs, wearing a baggy Linkin Park t-shirt, and he wore beige shorts that were beginning to fall off. As he slowly walked down the stairs, he readjusted his shorts as he saw his mother putting the pancakes on the table.
He sat down, putting his arm on the table as his face fell on the top of his fist. His mother gently put the plate of pancakes right next to him, dropping a fork, a knife, and a bit of tissue right next to his right hand.
“You’re welcome, Stanley.”
“Thanks, mom.” Stan said as he still slumped over.
He ate his pancakes, only using the fork and some of the tissue paper as he completely ignored the knife. He continued to consume his pancakes as his infamous father, Randy, came down the stairs– high.
Sharon looked in disgust, instantly calling out Randy for his addiction.
“Randy! Why are you high again? It’s only seven in the morning!”
“Hey, I’m allowed to smoke weed or be high whenever I want, Sharon, it’s the First Amendment!”
Sharon rolled her eyes in disgust as her relationship with Randy continued to drift, and the Marsh family continued to fall apart.
“Randy! Stop acting like a fucking child! You have a weed problem; it is destroying this family! I can’t live with you like this anymore!” Sharon said as she bashed the dishes into the sink.
Randy continued to argue with her, as Stan ate his pancakes, as his parents' fighting was a usual experience.
“I can’t live with some nagging bitch either! I haven’t got a problem– you’ve got a fucking problem!” Randy shouted as he walked off in a fit, and he got into the car and drove off.
Sharon stood there in disgust as she continued to the dishes, and she silently cried. Stan looked at his mother with droopy eyes– he knew his mother was struggling, but he could never find the right words to give comfort to his mother.
Stan finished his breakfast, said goodbye to his mother and waited at the bus stop right out of his farm. There, Tolkien stood right beside him as he stood there with his airpods connected to his phone.
Stan stood there, holding onto the shoulder straps as he struggled to even talk to Tolkien. He knew Tolkien for years, but they just ‘naturally’ drifted apart. I say naturally, but in reality, the reasoning was deeper than that.
The bus arrived, as the doors opened, Tolkien got on first, and then Stan. Stan walked to the seat he always sat in, his girlfriend Wendy waiting for him excitedly/ She tapped her hand on the seat as she moved to the aisle seat, allowing Stan to sit next to the window.
“Hey Stan, you okay?” Wendy asked as she lay her head on Stan’s shoulder.
“Yeah, I’m doing alright.” Stan said with an unenthusiastic tone.
Wendy notices Stan’s tone, but she doesn't mention anything. She knew saying anything about his tone might upset him, and she already knew he was struggling enough.
“That’s great, Stan, so anyway, I thought we could go to that new ice cream place after school! You do love the mint choc’ chips, right?” Wendy said, as she looked at Stan’s bright blue eyes that resembled the deep blue lakes of the Rocky Mountains in Colorado.
Stan smiled, even though he was still upset and not really in a great mood. Wendy, being supportive and caring, always brightened him up.
“Sure, Wendy, I’ll always go with you to anything.” Stan said as he looked into Wendy’s eyes as they both stared deep into each other's eyes. They shared a soft and sweet kiss, a small romantic moment that brightened Wendy and Stan’s day.
Wendy giggled after it. She blushed as she smiled at Stan. She snuggled up further into Stan as he happily kissed the top of her head, and he returned to looking outside the window. Travelling the roads of South Park.
As they arrived at school, Wendy walked out of the school bus with Stan, and before she headed off with Bebe, she asked Stan a question.
“Stan?” Wendy said.
“What?” Stan replied.
“Stan, are you okay? You’ve just seemed really.... well different lately?”
Stan sighed, replying with the usual response he always does.
“Wendy, I’m fine. I always tell you this, and I’m always fine.”
“I’m just a bit worried about Stan. I’m allowed to be worried!”
“Wendy, just– I’m fine… okay?”
“I know, bye Stan.”
Stan didn’t respond, and Wendy walked off as she was clearly upset by their exchange. Stan walked into school and met up with his friend Craig.
“Hey, Craig.”
“Hey Stan, did you watch Deer Trail last night?”
“Oh fuck, I missed it. Who won?”
“Man of War did, I got like ten bucks for that.”
“Cool, talk later, Craig.”
“Bye, Stan.”
Stan walked down the hallway, looking for Kyle, as he was nowhere on site. At this point, he gave up looking and just went to PE class instead. There he met up with Eric and Kenny.
They sat on the bench as the rest were playing basketball. Hehe wondered where Kyle was, and he lost the care to find him. Instead, he slumped on the bench as he quickly and secretly pulled out a bit of his hip flask and swallowed the alcohol. Eric and Kenny looked over and questioned his actions.
“Dude Stan, are you like a drinker now?”
“Pft, shut the fuck up, Cartman. I’m not a drinker, I’m just tired.”
“Dude, you’re a drinker.” Kenny said, muffled as he wore his iconic parka.
Stan got offended as he tried to deny the fact that he had a drinking problem. Even though Eric didn’t care about the slightness that Stan had a drinking problem, Kenny was more sympathetic and caring.
“I don’t have a drinking problem, why do– why do you even care, Eric?”
“Stan…” Eric got closer to Stan as he prepared to continue his response
“You’re a drinker, just like how you’re gay for Kyle.”
“I am not gay for Kyle Cartman!” Stan shouted as the whole court stopped, and luckily, the PE teacher wasn't there during the moment Stan shouted that.
“F-Fuck you guys…” Stan said as he got another drink out of his flask. He walked out of the PE hall as Eric and Kenny looked in shock.
“Well that confirms it, Kenny, he’s gay for Kyle, and he’s an alcoholic."
Stan overheard Eric’s stupid remark, but refused to give in. He walked out, as he stormed to the back of the school, pushing for the doors as he just wanted an escape, an escape from all of these problems.
He went outside, and he quickly chugged down the rest of his flask as he got more drunk. He slouched on the bench as he stared into the sky. Something about him was off. His emotions weren’t normal.
Stan Marsh isn't normal.