Chapter Text
Susie shook Ralsei, mad he'd even suggested his existence wasn’t important to them, to her and then suddenly, without warning, a spotlight illuminated the two.
She let go of Ralsei, shielding her eyes as a loud voice booms out
“Wow what an amazing [show of affection], hold back your tears dear audience!”
Susie looks up at the darkness around the three of them, eyes squinted from the light and from suspicion
“What the heck- where’s that voice coming from?”
The voice ignored her and continued on with its speech
“Ladies and gentlemen and [[OTHERS]], coming live from [YOUR] house,
Please put your hands together for everyone's favourite host, the sensation on your screen, the show host that makes you scream,
[[MR ANT TENNA]]”
The trio watched as a platform in the purple floor opened up and out began to rise a darkner, and then continued rising, and rising until he was towering above them, the three of them gawked up at the television darkner, with his old CRT head and red tailcoat, he winked at some camera that was suddenly there, somehow, it was more of a feeling than actually seeing him wink as he had no eyes on his glowing face, however he more than made up for it with his impressive nose.
“What 
contestants we have today folks!”
He held his mic to his mouth and pointed towards the audience, the booming voice returned from the void
“SAY IT WITH HIM FOLKS!”
The TV darkner, presumably Mr Ant Tenna only smiled wider with excitement at that, opening his mouth to say
Suddenly the stage became far more visible, as did the crowded live studio audience that was in front of the stage, flowers were thrown onto the stage and he bowed deeply, picking one up and holding it out
“Although we can't forget about everyone's favourite co-host can we?”
He put his hand to the side of his mouth as though sharing a private joke with the audience as an… Addison(?) Walked onto the stage, in a similar red suit jacket but with a yellow bow tie as opposed to Tenna's regular yellow tie, his hair was black and contrasted harshly against the bright white glow of his digital skin.
He opened his mouth, eyes shut fully as is typical of addisons but crinkled at the corners with his showman grin, and he spoke with the voice that was just doing the voice over,
“HEY EVERY[1], IT'S ME, SPAMTON. G. SPAMTON!!”
Ralsei gasped quietly and Susie's eyes widened, Kris didn't have much of a reaction but understood why this news would come as such a shock to their companions, they recalled conversing with the multicoloured Addison inhabitants of cyber city, remembered the venom with which they refused to talk about the Addison that had abandoned them all, became big all on his own and mocking them to their faces, the pink one seemed genuinely angry whereas the blue one seemed far more sad talking about their brother.
Kris hadn't managed to get much more than the name Spamton from the addisons, even asking about the posters for big shot autos which seemed all but abandoned these days, in the heart of the city yet the bright red shiny cars sat in the lot collecting dust, seemingly unmoved for years.
They got a bit more information from the queen, mainly about how she enjoyed staring at her reflection in the cars shiny surfaces which is why the dealership wasn't all gone.
They got the most information out of Swatch, the queens head butler, who sadly talked of the valued customer who left the cyber world to go seek his fortune, even mentioning how he feared the ad darkner may have petrified somewhere far far from his home world.
Kris thought back to the empty room they found in queens mansion, which had clothes and paperwork for car sales strewn across the floor, a phone on a table by the bed and a poster of two darkners of vastly different heights with both of the faces clawed out, the taller figure now recognisable to the trio as Mr Ant Tenna.
They had also found an odd blue orb hidden away underneath the bed and had kept it, it appeared as ‘pipis (1/2)’ in Kris’ inventory yet the three had never found another in the entirety of cyber city.
Every piece of evidence the trio had collected pointed to the Addison being dead in a far off dark world, yet here he was, walking across the stage, waving to the crowd, salesman smile on his face as he reached Tenna and stood beside him, leaning on the taller darkner's leg nonchalantly, despite only being around the height of the top of his legs, it didn't seem to bother him, and Tenna grinned a more wobbly genuine grin for a moment, handing the flower he had in his hand down to spamton before clearing his throat and smiling blindingly at the crowd with his co host.
Susie opened her mouth to ask what the hell was going on but before she could get a word out tenna was speaking again.
“Welcome to the scheduled programming, we have three very special guests here tonight,”
Spamton picked up the next sentence like it was the most natural thing in the world, as if he and Tenna were made to be stars together, although the duo were from such vastly different dark worlds they seemed like two halves of one, slightly old, slightly chipped, whole,
“You best find some anti adhesive because you're gonna be glued to your [[SCREENS]] folks!!!”
“Stay tuned for amazing quizzes, physical challenges and special prizes!!!”
“And what might be today's [prescription for-]” spamton seemed to cut his words off to quickly finish his sentence with a forced chuckle, his entire tone of voice had seemed off for a few seconds on that last word he spoke, but he quickly resumed,
“-today’s prescription, Dr tennavil?”
“Why, it seems like a prescription for one 
!!!” Tenna continues, brushing off his co hosts slip up, grinning at the camera, antennae wiggling excitedly,
“Bet you wanna know what it is right??”
“Oh please tell us [ant], we're at the edge of our seats!”
“We'll, you'll have to simply WIN AND FIND OUT!!” Tenna laughed and spun Spamton around, swapping sides of the stage and more flowers were thrown over the two as they both posed together on stage.
“Woah, would you take a look at the fun-o-meter!” Tenna pointed to a flashing sign that descended onto the stage, a thermometer with fun under it, the red line almost going to the top, Spamton gasped theatrically,
“So don't [touch that dial gently], because tonight's [feacher presentation] is gonna be one heck of a-”
Susie raised an eyebrow, taking a step closer to the wacky duo and pulled out her axe
“Who the hell do you think you two are?
You punks really think we'll be on your dumb show? Cus we won't. We have a job to do. A fountain to close.”
Suddenly the music stopped and a record screech sound effect played as the co-hosts looked over at the fun gang.
“You… won't?” Tenna's antenna stood straight up before drooping sadly over his screen, smile slightly faltering, voice wavering noticeably,
“Oh… of course, I- I understand! I suppose there isn't any time for a game show…. That's just
!!!!!”
He began to shrink and spamton opened his eyes for the first and only time since walking on stage, expression of genuine concern as he looked at his rapidly shrinking cohost
“Hey, [10/10],”
He mumbled, putting his hand on Tenna's shoulder as he shrunk to the addison's height
“Don't let these lightn<rs get you down, c'mon, your audience loves you, I [lo-]”
He clears his throat aggressively before continuing,
“I love co-hosting with you, ain't that [more than enough!]”
But his attempt was futile as Tenna shrunk further, and Spamton turned back to the audience, looking up at the lighting rig and gesturing a hand across his throat, mouthing what looked like ‘mike, kill the cameras’.
The fun gang looked upon the pitiful scene playing out in front of them, Spamton now on his knees to be at level height with Tenna, both facing away from the audience, breaking the most important rule of show business, Spamton’s bowtie seemed to shift slightly as what appeared to be something like feathers(?) ruffled along his neck, he surely felt all the stares of the audience and the special guests but ignored them in favour of comforting Tenna.
Susie looked at Ralsei who looked back at her and Kris before opening his mouth, speaking softly as he always did
“Well… listen, Susie, I may not be able to play games with you in the light world but how about we uh… have some fun here instead? One game couldn't hurt, right?...”
Susie looked at the crowd, and then back at Tenna and spamton and finally at Ralsei before sighing and nodding
“Fine. One game then we seal the fountain.”
Spamton was flung backwards a few steps, landing on his behind and staring up as his co-host who had been almost small enough to stand on the ad’s palms rocketed back up to his regular height and then some, a flower bloomed from Tenna's nose and spamton rolled his eyes affectionately, again, it was more of a feeling than actually seeing it occur as Spamton's eyes returned to their position of firmly closed.
“REALLY? YOU'LL STAY FOR THE SHOW? WELL THIS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL NEWS I'VE HEARD SINCE WRITING UP SPAMTON’S CONTRACT”
The fun-o-meter started blinking rapidly as a wide grin stretched to either side of Tenna’s screen.
Spamton chuckled although it sounded a tiny bit strained behind his showman persona at the mention of the contract but gratefully took Tenna's large hand to get back to his feet, dusting himself off dramatically,
“Geez [[boob tube]] give a guy some warning before you [[magically grows overnight]] on me!”
He jabbed at his co host lightly and the audience laughed, Tenna chuckled with a tinge of embarrassment that he played up for the cameras, plucking the flower off the end of his nose and handing it to spamton,
“I hope this will suffice as an apology my dear mailman”
Spamton grinned and tucked the flower into a button hole of his blazer,
“This will [[cover your debt]] nicely Ant, just don't be getting all [[shrinky dink]] on me and the contestants again!”
He smiled and gestured to the three who were just standing there and staring in awe at the scene they just witnessed, it seemed like a moment that shouldn't be televised, but perhaps that was their thing, their co host personas, like task master, a game show Toriel enjoyed watching while knitting.
“Of course of course! 
the whatsits and doohickeys, it's time to get this show started, right over here!!!”
Tenna skipped off the stage excitedly, spamton trailing behind at a more casual pace, hands in his pockets and little genuine smile on his face.
The fun gang stood on the now curtained off stage with their mouths open for a moment, regaining their composure and trying to process what just happened.
Ralsei spoke first
“So that was definitely the famous and presumed dead Addison from cyber city… right? Or am I misremembering events?”
The soul pounded in Kris’s chest like this revelation was the most important thing at that moment in time. Kris didn't understand what the soul wanted from them, but it seemed to be interested in this spamton Addison.
Kris nodded at Ralsei's words as Susie blinked a few times.
“Well he's clearly not dead, and why's he speaking like… that, none of the other addisons spoke like that.”
Kris had no idea but they felt a familiar tug go through their whole body and they shrugged and gestured for the three of them to head over to where Spamton and Tenna were waiting.
A crowd awed and ahhed as they walked through a red carpet area, mercifully it ended soon enough and they approached a corridor full of bustling darkners, ones that looked like shadows taken physical form to play instruments, a few multicoloured ones that stopped whenever they saw the trio to flash bursts of bright light, presumably taking photos, and also a few more serious standing ones that appeared to be covered in buttons and acting as security guards.
Kris spotted a save point and was tugged over to stick their hand into it. It felt warm and unlike the past two dark worlds where it had felt sticky and then freezing, this save point felt staticky, like their hand was falling asleep, they were filled with the feeling of undeserved fame.
They took their hand out the glowing vortex and continued onwards, bumping into two darkners that appeared to be moon and cloud shaped respectively,
“The stars of the show!” The moon shaped one cried excitedly,
“We'll be your boss encounter!” Supplied the cloud shaped one.
“Now here's a romantic forecast for you three,”
“The weather-”
They drew their pointers back before touching the hands at the end of their sticks together, a heart appeared in the air,
“Always sticks together!”
“Just like a certain pair of co-hosts,” the cloud shaped darkner mumbled conspiratorially to her other half, as if it was some super secret gossip to talk about, she chuckled to herself as the moon shaped one nodded his head quickly,
“Oh yeah, their secret is certainly not so secretive, did you see them on stage today?!”
They both giggled together, seemingly forgetting about the three in front of them, lost in their gossip.
Kris took this as a good moment to move away from them, until a plugboy darkner stopped them for a conversation, he had an oddly British accent, and smiled at Kris
“Kris luv, enjoy the show, we can catch up later in the green room!” He managed to get out before getting swept back into the bustle of activity in the corridor, Kris shook their head in confusion before pushing forwards through the bustle of preshow activity.
Then the trio bumped into someone no one expected to see there.
“Roulx???” Susie gawked at the card darkner
“What are you doing here?”
“Obviously I am to becometh the tv gueys and ass mans second-in-command!”
Ralsei opened his mouth, as if considering telling Roulx to go back to castle town, but then he thought better of it,
“Do you thinketh they're lookinge for a thirde?”
Before anyone had the opportunity to correct the eccentric card that Spamton was an ad man not an ass man, he had already made his move away from the trio.
At that the trio quickly walked by the last of the bustling darkners, finally making it along the corridor, to find the TV darkner and the Addison darkner lost in a conversation between the two of them, both smiling much different smiles than the showman smiles they had for the cameras, though Spamton spotted the three of them and quickly slipped back into character, mumbling something to Tenna and the taller one turned around quickly to greet them, doing a little excited dance
“Well, you three, are you ready, do you have your drinks and snacks, because we're about to go on a ride ladies and gentlemen and Kris!”
Spamton leant on Tenna's leg, grinning,
“And also be sure to use the bathroom, there are no breaks during [valuable airtime]. Ready to [press start]?”
Kris felt the soul tug and they nodded much more enthusiastically than they would at any other time, and much more enthusiastically than they were currently feeling,
“We're ready!”
The words came out of their mouth and they felt unnatural but they were pretty much used to the feeling by now.
“Excellent! Mike, start the show!!!”
Everything went dark, but Kris could still feel their two friends next to them, Ralsei nervously messing with his ears as Susie mumbled at him to cut it out.
A spotlight appeared on Tenna and Spamton, they're on a new stage now, with a big screen behind them all, Spamton held out his arm, pointing to the audience
“Are you ready [our valued customers]?”
Tenna quickly followed suit, holding out his hand to the trio instead,
“Everyone, give it up for the stars of tonight's program!!!”
The crowd was silent and Spamton laughed a slightly grating laugh, but it seemed genuine, more genuine than his showman laugh at least,
“[[Ant hill]] the audience doesn't know these [little sponges] just yet!”
Tenna doubled over, slapping his knee exaggeratedly,
“Oh of course, I'd forget my 
if it wasn't wired into my face”
He snapped his fingers and three podiums appeared in front of each of the fun gang
“Now please, introduce yourselves to the lovely audience and viewers at home.”
There was a keyboard and a little screen on the top of the podium, four blank letter spaces blinked up at them. Spamton raised an eyebrow, looking at Susie's mischievous grin, elbowing Tenna in the knee lightly,
“Hey [[cathode]] do you really think the censors are gonna let you have [[4 for the price of 3]] letters on there?”
Tenna's antenna bended and he put a finger to his face as if pondering Spamton's words before nodding,
“Oh gosh you're right spam, wouldn't want any inappropriate language, this is a family friendly show after all!!”
He snapped his fingers once more and one of the letter spaces disappeared, Susie looked visibly disappointed and Ralsei laughed softly,
“Don't be rude Susie, Mr Tenna and Mr Spamton have been very good hosts!”
She rolled her eyes and looked back down at the keyboard intently, grinning while typing something in, Kris and Ralsei followed suit and typed their own words in, the music was light and cheerful and the crowd was watching with full attention on them.
Once they had all hit confirm on their names, the keyboards disappeared and Tenna held the mic again,
“Now introducing our star contestants, first up we have the fluffy prince who lives in a closet (though he does come out from time to time!)”
Susie had to hold back a laugh on that one,
“It's RAL-sei!”
The letters RAL appeared on the front of his podium and he took a little bow, hiding his embarrassed smile in his scarf.
Spamton chuckled before holding a hand up for the mic which Tenna passed to him and it magically shrunk down to fit his hand size,
“She's mean she's not [green] and is live on your screens, it's Susie!”
Spamton had to visibly hold back a laugh as the letters ASS appeared on her podium, Susie starting guffawing herself, Ralsei looked scandalised, hitting her lightly in the arm
“Susie you can’t say that!!!! Change it!”
She grinned, shaking her head
“No way, Ral-sei!”
Tenna put a hand to the side of his mouth
“Looks like the censors ARE going to kill me folks!!”
Spamton did laugh at that, hitting the side of Tenna's leg lightly
“Not if I have anything to say about that [ant sized].”
Tenna's antenna curled happily before he took the mic back from spamton,
“And finally, only here because they weren't blue enough for- aavatar? What's an…. aavatar?”
Spamton patted his leg, cringing slightly,
“Don't worry about it [cathode], just read the script.”
The ad darkner tugged at the collar of his shirt slightly as tenna stared in confusion for a moment too long before returning to the introductions.
“Well, okay, it's our final contestant, Kris!!”
Both Spamton and Susie burst out laughing as the letters on Kris's podium turned out to be ASS as well, Susie wiped a tear of laughter from her eye,
“I knew I could count on you Kris!”
Tenna played up appearing shocked, putting a hand over his mouth and gasping,
“Oh no! More foul language, we're gonna have to change the show's rating folks!”
“Cool your vents [[boob tube]], I think we can get away with the word [ASS] on the [Rated U for Universal] show [for one night only], for the special guests!”
Spamton grinned up at him and Tenna waved a hand lightly,
“Oh fine, fine.”
Ralsei looked appalled.
“Can we change their names??”
“[Ahahahahahaha] no can do kid,” Spamton waves off, “Not enough [Airtime] for that!”
Tenna takes the stage once more
“Now we've all been im-properly introduced, MIKE,
PLEASE!”
Suddenly a pyramid appeared on the screen behind them
“Today's game show will be a virtual adventure through TV desert!”
“Sure hope there'll be no [TOMB RAIDERS] around, right cathode?” Spamton elbowed Tenna's leg good naturedly and Tenna laughed heartily, shaking his head,
“Of course, I made sure I took care of all those unhappy customers first! No Indiana Joneses here! So that these three can enjoy the board so much they'll forget it's not real!!!”
Spamton's grin became a little more strained, as his eyes crinkled more at the corners, eyebrows furrowing,
“Well, I sure hope so, although I did suggest that [new graphics card only $7.9]-” He cleared his throat aggressively,
“I did suggest you get a little graphics upgrade.”
Tenna fixed his tie, gritting his teeth, screen barely flickering,
“Well, like I said, 
, upgrades aren't necessary when the games already look this good!!!”
Spamton laughed awkwardly, trying to dispel the tension,
“Of course, of course, whatever you say [big shot]! Now why don't you tell them more about their [quest]!”
Tenna immediately forgot about the jab at his graphics, excitedly explaining more of them game
“Of course! You'll fight battles, quiz quizzes! Gain points.. and maybe learn to love each other a little along the way.”
“Maybe we should play this board sometime, [10 dollars].” Spamton teased with a smirk as Tenna pretended to be flustered by the remark
“Not in front of the contestants, Spammy!”
The audience ooed at the two and spamton chuckled, Tenna shook his head with a dramatic sigh before pointing at the audience,
“Now, don't touch that dial, and don't stop those smiles!! Becauseeee-”
Spamton pointed too, and they spoke in unison,