Archive of Our Own

Yu thought it was strange how completely normal Geon seemed about the whole drama filming situation.

When Yu first found out that he and Geon would be playing characters who fell in love (and that their roles would require them to pretend to kiss multiple times throughout the story before sharing one real cheek kiss at the end), his heart had immediately sunk.

He wasn’t uncomfortable with anything in the script. It was just that he was nervous about doing all of it with… Geon.

Why him? Out of all the members…. did it really have to be Geon?

Unlike Yu, Geon seemed completely relaxed about the whole thing. Of course, Yu didn’t actually know what was going on inside his head. Maybe Geon was nervous too. Maybe he was just better at hiding it.

But somehow, Yu doubted that.

Every time the other members brought up the fact that Geon would be “kissing” Yu, Geon would simply grin from ear to ear and laugh along with them. He never seemed embarrassed or flustered. If anything, he looked like he found the whole thing amusing.

And that was why Yu had convinced himself that it wasn’t a big deal to him.

Meanwhile, Yu had been quietly panicking ever since the news was announced. 

It wasn’t the same kind of nervousness he sometimes felt before performing on a huge stage in front of thousands of people, or when meeting senior idols he admired and wanted to make a good first impression on. This was different.

Whenever he thought about it, warmth spread across his cheeks. Something deep in chest, and somehow in his stomach too, would bloom all at once, while his palms slowly grew sweaty.

Yu knew exactly what that feeling was.

He wasn’t embarrassed by feeling this way. Having a crush was just a normal part of being human and it happened to people every day. He just never expected it to happen with his best friend. 

When they sat down for the table read and Geon walked into the room wearing a long-haired wig and the biggest grin on his face, Yu felt his breath hitch for a split second.

During the table read, every time they had a scene together, Geon looked him straight in the eyes while delivering his lines. It was like they were the only two people in the room. He didn't seem to care that the director was watching, that the members were listening, or that dozens of staff members surrounded them. He was completely focused on Yu.

Whenever Geon looked and talked to him like that, Yu felt like he was being pulled into some kind of strange spell. For those few seconds, everyone else seemed to disappear, and it was just the two of them.

Lately, that feeling had been happening far too often. And it definitely shouldn’t have. He wasn’t supposed to feel this way about his best friend and he knew that.

He’d tried to ignore it and convince himself it was nothing more than plain admiration for a friend. He admired Geon, that was all. Geon was funny, kind, easy to be around and he always made everyone in the room smile without even trying. So of course Yu wanted to be around him.

But eventually, admiration had become something different.

Yu couldn’t really remember when it happened. He just started noticing things he never noticed before. He would catch himself watching Geon laugh from across the room, only realizing he’d been smiling when someone asked him what was so funny. He would notice how Geon absentmindedly ruffled his hair, pouted while dancing, or blinked a little harder and lifted his eyebrows whenever he was listening carefully to someone speak.

Yu found every single one of these things extremely endearing.

And every time Geon tilted his head while talking to him, smiled that stupidly pretty smile, casually reached for his hand, squeezed his arm, rested his head on Yu’s shoulder, cuddled up beside him in bed, or leaned over just to whisper something before falling asleep… Yu knew he had it bad. 

Ever since then, nothing has really changed. Geon still teased him, Yu still playfully shoved him around, they were still ridiculously touchy and still casually told interviewers and other idols that they shared a bed. To everyone else, that was just classic Yu and Geon. 

What wasn’t normal, to Yu, was everything he was feeling. Every day it became a little harder to hide.

And it’s not like he wanted to make things look even more suspicious by being even clingier, he just genuinely longed to spend more time with Geon. To talk to him more, cuddle him more, take care of him more. He'd started craving his attention and presence more, and it felt like he couldn’t get enough of him.

Like that one night, when Geon had flopped onto their bed to complain about how tired he was. They'd always been touchy, so it wasn't strange when Yu wrapped an arm around him, letting him rest against him. However, when Geon eventually started to sit up, Yu instinctively tightened his hold, gently pulling him back. Geon paused, then turned to look at him.

Yu immediately let go. “Sorry,” he mumbled, pretending to fix the blanket between them.

Geon stared at him for a moment. “I don’t mind.” 

Yu froze.

“Were you trying to keep me here, Yu?” 

“No?”

Geon smiled. “Sure.”

“Go to sleep, Geonie.” Yu said while adjusting the blanket before lying back down.

“I was going to, you know.”

“Then do that.”

Geon laughed quietly, shaking his head before settling back beside him. This time, even closer. And Yu tried very hard not to smile about that.

Since then, Yu had probably been making his feelings more and more obvious. At least, they felt obvious to him. Somehow, Geon seemed totally clueless, and Yu wasn’t sure if he really was just oblivious, or if he was kindly pretending not to notice because he knew it would only make things more complicated.

Either way, Yu didn’t know how much longer he could keep acting like everything was normal.

After the table read for their new Real NEXZ drama episode, they went to the gym before finally heading back to the dorms.

Yu had just finished showering and was sitting on his bed with tomorrow's script in his hands. Yuki’s bed was empty, and from the living room, Yu could hear his muffled laughter mixed with the others’ voices. They were probably in the middle of another round of video games. 

Yu listened to the sound of Geon moving around in their shared bathroom. He was opening and closing drawers over and over again, probably searching for something he had misplaced or lost again. Every now and then, Yu could hear him quietly humming to himself.

A minute later, the bathroom door opened and Yu looked up. You’ve gotta be kidding me.

Geon stepped out wearing loose grey sweatpants that sat low on his hips and a plain black tank top, a towel draped around his shoulders as he rubbed his damp hair dry. A few strands stuck to his forehead, and small droplets of water slowly slid down his neck before soaking into the fabric around his collarbone. 

Yu forgot what he was supposed to be doing.

His eyes moved from Geon’s messy hair to the curve of his neck to the way the black tank top stretched across his shoulders to his collarbones, before he forced himself to look back at the script.

Stop staring. Seriously. You’re being weird. You’re being weird and he’s going to notice.

“What is it?” 

Yu blinked and looked up. Their eyes met. “Hm?”

Geon pouted slightly, nodding toward the script in Yu’s hands.

“Oh… Just practicing.” Yu said, lifting the pages a little. 

Geon only hummed before walking over to his side of the bed, still drying his hair with the towel. A few seconds later, he tossed it over onto Yuki’s empty bed without even looking.

For the next few minutes, neither of them said anything.

Geon absentmindedly scrolled through his phone while Yu stared at the same page of the script for nearly a full minute without actually reading a single word.

Get it together.

From the living room, the sound of the other members’ voices carried through the dorm. They were laughing loudly, occasionally yelling at each other over whatever game they were playing.

Geon looked up when another round of yelling came from outside. “They’re definitely playing Mario Kart,” he said.

“And Moya’s definitely losing.”

Geon immediately laughed. “Obviously,” He locked his phone and placed it beside him. “So…Are you nervous about it?"

Yu didn't need to ask what it was. He looked over at Geon. "And you?"

Geon hummed, thinking for a second. Before Yu could ask him anything else, he flopped onto his stomach, ending up beside Yu's legs. He rested his chin in one hand and looked up at him. Like a puppy. His hair was still slightly damp, with a few strands falling into his eyes before he pushed them away with the back of his hand.

"A little," Geon admitted after a moment. "But not for the reason you think." He said with a cheeky smile.

Yu blinked. …What does that even mean?

“It’s just, you know…” Geon continued. "I've never really acted before."

"Neither have I."

Geon smiled to himself before reaching over and tapping the edge of Yu's script. "What...about…you?" He asked, pausing between each word. “Are you nervous?”

"I'm mostly worried about forgetting my lines."

...And pretending to kiss you.

And then actually letting you kiss my cheek.

Yu kept those thoughts quiet. "I don't know," he continued instead. "I feel like if I mess up once, I’ll just freak out and forget everything else.”

"You won't."

"I might."

"You definitely won't,” Geon lightly slapped his arm, smiling. “You’re the coolest person I know.”

Yu blinked. “Hm?”

“Meaning,” Geon continued. “Even if you mess up, you’ll somehow save it. You’ll improvise or something and make the scene even better… and cooler, y’know?” He tilted his head.

Yu couldn’t help but smile. “Yeah, maybe…”

"So,” Geon said, reaching over to grab his own script from the bedside table. "Wanna practice together?"

He didn’t even wait for Yu to answer. He scooted closer and Yu’s body immediately tensed.

Geon started tracing the lines on the page with his finger. “Oh, this is fun.”

Yu glanced at him. “What is?”

"Yu Rihan pulls So Seol into a narrow alley as a few guys from the yakuza rush past looking for them. Rihan quickly takes off his suit jacket and holds it over both of them until the men pass by,” Geon reads out. 

Yu stared at the script for a second before letting out an amused breath. "...Seriously, who wrote this…"

“I’m sure Nex2y will find that hilarious,” Geon grinned. He suddenly looked way too excited. “Let’s try it.”

He grabbed one of the thick blankets folded at the end of the bed and dropped it into Yu’s lap. Before Yu had a chance to ask what exactly Geon was planning, Geon shifted on the bed and settled onto his knees right in front of him.

"Come on."

Play it cool. It’s just acting. Just practice.

Yu shook his head with a smile, but lifted the blanket anyway. “Is this supposed to be my jacket?” Geon only grinned.

A second later, they were both underneath it. The noise from the living room faded into the background until it felt like they were in their own little world.

They were so close. Geon’s hair was slightly messy from moving around, with a few strands falling over his forehead. He blinked slowly, his lips were pressed together, like he was trying not to laugh but couldn’t stop the smile from showing. 

Yu swallowed. 

“Hi, Yu Rihan.” Geon giggled. “You’re handsome.”

Yu immediately nudged Geon’s knee with his own. “Stop, that’s not in the script.”

Geon giggled, clearly amused by his reaction. “Neither is being flustered.”

What is wrong with him? 

“Huh? I’m not…?” Yu argued, not sounding pretty convincing.

Geon raised an eyebrow. “Really?”

Yu opened his mouth to defend himself, but before he could come up with an excuse, his eyes instinctively dropped lower… to Geon’s lips.

His heart immediately picked up speed, warmth rushed across his cheeks, and suddenly he was far too aware of how close they were, of the small space between them. Geon was looking at him with curious eyes, which made it impossible for him to think clearly. 

“I’m just playing, Yu.” Geon said, laughing softly. 

“It’s getting hot.” Yu said suddenly, quickly pulling the blanket off, sitting back, and letting out a breath.

Geon stayed where he was, staring at Yu for a few seconds without saying anything. 

Yu noticed. “What is it?”

Geon only shrugged.

Yu tilted his head, silently asking what exactly was going through his mind.

After a moment, Geon looked down at the script in his hands. “You’re really good.”

“Huh?”

“At acting.” Geon smiled slightly. “You were so into the role of a head-over-heels Yu Rihan that you already looked at my lips like you wanted to kiss me.”

Yu’s heart dropped. For a second, he genuinely forgot how to breathe.

“I mean…” Geon cleared his throat. “Seol. Like you wanted to kiss Seol.”

Yu stared at him, completely frozen. Then, trying desperately to act normal, he reached over and lightly nudged Geon’s shoulder. “You were just making fun of me, though.”

Geon rolled his eyes dramatically, pretending not to notice how flustered Yu was. “Yu-ya, read what’s next.”

Yu swallowed and looked down at the page. 

It’s fine. Calm down.

“Yu Rihan takes off the jacket. ‘I think they’re all gone.’ Are you okay? he says. ‘Are they gone?’ So Seol asks and-”

“Cut!” Geon suddenly waved his script in front of Yu’s face, which made him stop mid-sentence. “There’s no point in reading that.”

Yu raised an eyebrow, but he couldn’t stop the small smile that appeared on his face.. “But, Geonie… you literally just told me to-”

“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” Geon waved him off. “But there’s no practice in just reading it.” He shifted closer. “We have to actually act it out to practice properly.”

Yu’s body tensed. Geon just nodded at him, waiting patiently.

“Okay, uhm…” Yu cleared his throat. “I think they’re all gone… Are you okay?” He tried to sound natural and calm. However, the second he finished reading his line, he noticed Geon wasn’t even looking at the script. He was looking at him. 

Yu pretended like he didn’t notice.

“Uh…” Geon looked down at his script, searching for his line. “Are they gone?” He said softly, looking back up and for some reason… shuffling closer to Yu. His breath caught.

Before Yu could react, Geon leaned in once more, naturally preparing for the next scene in the script. Suddenly, they were close enough that Yu could feel Geon’s breath against his face. Their noses were barely a few centimetres apart. 

Geon tilted his head slightly. He looked almost like a curious puppy. His lips were parted ever so slightly as he waited for Yu’s next line.

Yu let out a shaky laugh.

“Yu, it’s fine. We’re just acting, okay?”

Then, thankfully, he slightly leaned back, allowing Yu to breathe again.

Yu took a slow breath, trying to collect himself. How could Geon act like none of this was a big deal? They had been millimetres away from kissing just now, for god’s sake. He’s insane.

“Uh…” Yu quickly looked down at the script again. “The other day..” He stopped. 

What kind of line is this? Who wrote this?!

He squeezed his eyes shut for half a second before trying again. “The other day…You said I’d fall in love with you… Was it some kind of magic?” 

“Cut!” Geon said again and laughed when Yu immediately buried his face in the script with a groan. “Yu-ya…”

Slowly, Yu lifted his head slightly to peek over the pages.

“You have to read the director’s notes…”

“Huh?”

“It clearly says,” Geon said, scooting closer and pointing to the note printed beneath the dialogue. “Yu Rihan longingly stares into So Seol’s eyes” 

Yu slowly lowered the script, letting out a long, defeated sigh.

Of course.

“Come on,” Geon said, smiling. “It can’t be that hard…” He paused. “...for you specifically.”

Yu blinked. “What do you mean?”

“You give me heart eyes all the time.”

Yu quite literally had no idea what he was supposed to say to that. He knew it was true. Geon had said things like that before, jokingly teasing him whenever Yu looked at him for too long or smiled too softly. And every single time, Yu had denied it half-heartedly, because he knew that Geon would only tease him more if he admitted anything. 

But he also knew the truth. He did look at Geon differently. And right now, he felt completely defeated. 

“Okay, okay…” Yu mumbled, looking back at the script. “The other day…”

He started again, this time, deciding that he wouldn’t look away. If Geon wanted him to act, then he would act.

He looked up and met Geon’s eyes. Geon was softly smiling at him. His head was slightly tilted, and the only thought in Yu’s mind right now was how unfair it was that someone could look that adorable. 

“You said I’d fall in love with you… Was it some kind of magic?” Yu said quietly.

Geon looked at him, his expression softening. Then, he slowly leaned closer.

Right. This is the part. The “kiss”. 

Shit.

Yu knew the camera tomorrow would be placed at an angle where it would only look like they were kissing. They wouldn’t actually have to do anything. Just lean in, close their eyes, hold the position and… that was it. Simple, right?

“Ready?” Geon whispered. “Here goes…”

Yu whispered a faint “Shh,” before he could stop himself. He didn’t even know why he did it. Maybe because if Geon kept talking, Yu wasn’t sure he would be able to do this. 

Without another word, they both leaned slightly and slowly forward. Closer… and closer. The space between them grew smaller until there was barely any distance left at all. Yu could feel Geon’s warm breath brushing against his face. Trying to calm down, Yu let his eyes fall shut.

Nothing happened. Absolutely nothing. It’s not like something was supposed to happen, though.

Yu couldn’t hear the voices from the living room anymore. He couldn’t feel any movement. Even the humming of the air conditioner seemed to vanish. The only thing Yu could hear was the sound of Geon’s breathing, and the only thing he could feel was Geon’s warmth.

It couldn’t have been more than three seconds, honestly. But somehow, it stretched into what felt like hours.

What is happening? Was Geon supposed to move? Am I supposed to move? But where? What do I do? Should I open my eyes? Am I doing something wrong? What do I do now?

Yu’s thoughts were completely tangled. He slowly opened his eyes… and immediately froze.

Geon was still close, his lips were slightly parted, as if he forgot what he was going to say. Yu noticed his breathing was just as uneven as his own. 

“Geon….” Yu whispered nervously. 

Geon’s eyes kept drifting between Yu’s eyes and his lips.

“Are we done or…” Yu didn’t get to finish, as Geon moved closer. He moved slowly, as if he was giving Yu time to move away if he wanted to, as if he was asking him: Is this okay? Can I?

Before Yu’s mind could even process what was happening, Geon’s lips gently brushed against his.

It was the lightest touch possible, but Yu felt it everywhere.

Warmth spread through his chest so quickly it almost took his breath away. His heart felt like it had forgotten to beat, butterflies bursting to life in his stomach and fluttering so wildly that he thought he might actually melt right there on the spot.

The world around him disappeared. The voices outside the room, the busy street outside the dorm… everything faded until there was nothing left except Geon.

His lips were incredibly soft and warm.

Without even realizing it, he leaned in just a little more, melting into the gentle touch. His fingers slowly traced down from Geon’s neck to his collarbone. Yu didn’t know what came over him at that moment. Maybe it was the fact that he had spent so long holding himself back, that it became physically impossible to not touch him right now. 

Their lips moved softly and slowly, both of them still figuring it out. It felt a little uncertain, as if they were unable to believe that this was actually happening.

Yu’s heart was beating so fast he was certain it might actually burst out of his chest. His thoughts completely disappeared. He felt dizzy, like he had been thrown onto a rollercoaster and every turn was making him more and more lightheaded. 

He honestly couldn’t tell if he was breathing. Was he dreaming? He didn’t know.

All he knew was that Geon was there, kissing him. Geon was kissing him.

Suddenly, he felt Geon freeze slightly. After a moment, he slowly pulled away. Their faces stayed close. 

Yu looked at him. Geon looked back.

Neither of them was physically able to speak. Yu’s mind was completely blank and Geon looked just as shocked. His lips were slightly parted, his breathing uneven, and his eyes moved quickly over Yu’s face, searching for any sign of reaction, any sign that he had gone too far, or that Yu was uncomfortable. 

Everything seemed to go quiet. Suddenly, all of the thoughts that had disappeared during the brief kiss came rushing back at once. 

Oh no. What did I just do? 

The happiness that filled his chest a few seconds ago was quickly replaced by a sudden wave of panic. What if he had  just ruined everything? 

Yu’s stomach twisted. He opened his mouth, wanting to ask him something, but he couldn’t find the words. But then, he noticed the tiniest change in Geon’s expression. There was a small smile slowly forming on his lips. His cheeks were slightly pink, and he looked almost embarrassed. 

All of a sudden, all the fear inside Yu loosened a little. Geon wasn’t looking at him like they had done something wrong at all. 

Yu felt his own lips curve up a little. And the second they both realised they were smiling at each other, the whole situation became so ridiculous and awkward that neither of them could hold it in anymore. They both burst into laughter.

Geon covered his face with a pillow, shaking his head as he laughed.  “What the heck…”

“I don’t know…” Yu laughed, his voice muffled as he covered his face with both hands.

“This is insane. Oh my god…” Geon laughed so hard that he eventually fell sideways onto the bed, his face buried slightly into the pillow. 

Yu watched him for a second and felt his heart do that stupid thing again. He still couldn’t believe how much he liked him. He let himself fall back onto the pillows beside him, staring up at the ceiling with a wide grin.

Maybe… I didn’t ruin anything.

But there was still one thing he needed to know.

“Hey.”

Geon lifted his head from the pillow, smiling. “Hm?”

Yu hesitated. “We’re… still okay, right?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean…” Yu looked away. “We’re still… friends, right?”

The second the words left his mouth, Yu felt ridiculous. Of course they were. Why did he even need to ask that? 

Geon stared for a moment, before rolling his eyes. 

“What?”

“That’s what you were worried about?” Geon snorted, shaking his head.

“...Yeah?”

“Sure,” Geon said casually. “If friends kiss each other, then yeah. We are friends.”

Yu’s heart flipped. “It was… just one kiss.”

Geon hummed, turning his head toward him. There was a mischievous little smile slowly appearing on his face. “But hypothetically…” he said. “If it was two kisses, would that make us more than friends?”

Yu froze. His brain immediately stopped working, because there was absolutely no way Geon had just said something like that so casually. And why was he smiling like that? Since when did he have this much confidence? 

Before Yu could even come up with a response, Geon’s smile grew. He moved closer, giving Yu barely any time to react before gently leaning over him and wrapping his arms around him in a hug. He rested his chin near Yu’s shoulder for a moment before pulling back slightly, looking at him with the smallest pout. “Do it.”

Yu blinked. “What?”

Geon pointed at him with a tiny frown. “You heard me.”

Geon really had no idea what he was doing to him. Or maybe he did, which would’ve been even worse. 

Yu had spent so long trying to hide his feelings. Every moment where Geon laughed at something he said, every time he leaned against him when he was tired, every time he looked at Yu with that ridiculously cute expression, like an excited puppy, and with that little pout that always made Yu’s heart ache. 

All of this was too much for Yu’s heart, but he had convinced himself that he could handle it. He could keep his feelings to himself. 

He could just like Geon quietly. But the thing is, Yu wanted to tell him. He wanted to show him. Because as much as he tried to convince himself that silent love was okay, a part of him had always wanted to love Geon loudly.

And now Geon was on top of him, asking him to kiss again, and Yu didn’t think he had ever wanted anything more. 

A helpless smile appeared on his face. He shook his head, nervously leaning closer. 

His lips met Geon’s again. The same warmth spread through Yu instantly, somehow feeling even more overwhelming than the first time. They moved slowly, both of them still a little unsure, still trying to understand what they were doing. 

Suddenly, Geon giggled right into the kiss.

Yu pulled back, staring at him.

Geon looked just as surprised by himself, his eyes widening for a second before a huge embarrassed smile appeared on his face.

“Aaaaaa…” he mumbled, immediately burying his face into Yu’s chest. 

Yu couldn’t help but laugh. For so long, he had thought Geon was just… effortlessly confident when it came to stuff like this. It made him feel like he was the only one struggling to keep his feelings under control while Geon always knew exactly what to do and how to act. But seeing him flustered like this made Yu realize that he wasn’t the only one completely losing his mind. 

“Hey,” Yu said, “You’re the one who wanted it.”

“I know,” Geon said, his voice muffled against Yu’s shirt. “It’s insane.”

Yu laughed even harder. “You’re the one who kissed me first.”

“I know.”

“And now you’re hiding?”

“Yes.”

The immediate answer made Yu laugh again.

Geon sighed dramatically. “I don’t know how you're acting so calm.” he mumbled.

“What?” Yu raised an eyebrow. “I’m not calm.”

“You look calm, though.”

“I am literally panicking inside.”

Geon looked up at him, amused. “For real?”

“For real.”

“Good,” Geon smiled. “I was worried I was the only one.”

Before Yu could say anything, Geon spoke again.

“Hypothetically…” 

“No.”

Geon blinked. “Yu, I didn’t even say anything.”

“I know exactly where this is going.”

Geon smiled. “If we did three…”

“You know you can just say you want another kiss, right?”