Work Text:
"Well fuck me."
Those were Kelly's words as she sat in a meeting room waiting for someone else. After over a decade on the air, her conservative radio show "Back on Track" was sold because of past comments she made. Maybe saying that Sandy Hook was a hoax and that it was a leftist plot to take away the guns of Americans wasn't a smart idea after all. She thought to herself that if this is it, then she could go back to being a conversion therapist for the church. She might also be able to get a political seat if she complained enough online. She wondered to herself if she kept saying the 2020 election was rigged, then Trump might financially back her in the future. She was thinking of possible future action when another woman walked into the room.
"Hello, Kelly. Haven't seen you for a while. In-person, that is."
Kelly looked up at the woman and felt a sense of familiarity.
"Do I know you?" she asked.
"Yes. You do. It's in the back of that mind somewhere."
Kelly studied the woman for a few seconds before finally realizing who was in front of her.
"N-Nicole?! You're still alive?!"
"Don't act so shocked."
"I thought that with how you were, you would die after high school."
"Nah, somehow. I got past that, made my way through college, and-"
"You went to college?!"
"Yes, Kelly. I went to college. You should've gone; you would've ended up a better person."
"Oh, fuck you!"
"Yeah, I know you do. Let's get to business."
"N-No, I don't! I'm not a fucking homosexual like them!"
"...You remember that caller that said you were gay around 2019-2020?"
"That was you?!"
"Yeah, I said my name and everything- how do you not remember?!"
"I thought it was some left-wing troll trying to fuck with me."
"Nope."
Nicole took a seat right across from Kelly.
"I'm here to talk about the acquisition of Back On Track."
"Wha-Why? You don't even work for them!"
"Maybe, but I do own a big share of The Shallot, so I get a big say on what we do with your show."
"N-No fucking way. No fucking way a druggie is going to get my show!"
"Hey, I've been sober for over a decade now, thank you!"
"Should've fucking stayed on drugs. God, I wish you overdosed."
"Wow, that's some really hurtful language for someone who says they don't hate others for their opinions. Classic conservative hypocrisy."
"Shut the fuck up!"
"No, you shut the fuck up! If you forgot, I have control of this meeting. You sold your show to me. Now, I wanted a meeting so I could talk to you personally about how royally you fucked up."
"You want to gloat."
"Yes. I do."
"Huh, aren't liberals like you supposed to be tolerant?"
Nicole grabs Kelly by the collar of her shirt and nearly pulls her across the table.
"Don't ever call me a liberal again. And I've never been tolerant of homophobic, racist Nazis like you."
"This is insane. I'm not a fucking Nazi!"
"You let Kanye fucking West say that Hitler wasn't that bad and still let him talk. If there are 10 people at a table and 1 is a Nazi and the rest don't do shit, then there are 10 Nazis at a table."
Nicole let go of Kelly and let her sink back into her chair.
"...You know why you're here, right, Kelly?"
Kelly remained silent.
"...I see. You know you're in the wrong, but have too big an ego to admit it."
Kelly still didn't speak.
"...I made a new logo for Back On Track. You want a look?"
Nicole pulled out a sliver of paper and showed it to Kelly. On it was the Back On Track logo, but rainbow colored.
"You motherfucker! You're destroying everything I worked towards!"
"You've never done a single day of work in your fucking life. All you did was convince people to 'pray the gay away,' and you had stupid fucking morons cling onto you because you were a little pretty."
"A little?!"
"THAT'S the part you're focusing on?! Not the conversion therapy, or the racist remarks, or the fact that you went up and told the parents of dead children multiple fucking times that their child wasn't dead and that they were lying?! No, even now all you worry about is yourself."
"Hey, I care about the American people more than you ever will."
"Bullshit! If you did, then you wouldn't be sprouting lies every time you open your mouth. You wouldn't look at every problem in this country and blame it on 'woke' or 'the libtards'. You wouldn't be sitting on your ass talking to fucking losers about how the chemicals are turning the fucking frogs gay!"
"I was right abou-"
"NO! No! Shut the fuck up! You've done enough talking for a lifetime. The damage you've done, not just to those families, but to America as a whole, is sickening."
Nicole took a deep breath before continuing.
"You wanna know the worst part? Even after the lawsuits, even after all of the damage you've caused, you still have yet to show any remorse for your actions."
"Isn't selling my show remorseful enough?!"
"No. Not even close. You're a hypocritical slut who used your beauty to get people to listen to you about things you've either completely made up or have twisted so much that they might as well have been made up. You let people onto your show who use language that promotes violence towards marginalized communities, as if they aren't dealing with enough bullshit already. You want to force people to have children and say that it's the gift of life while simultaneously never having children and cheating on your ex-husband with women from gay dating apps. You push homophobia because deep down you know you're gay; you know you're a lesbian, but you bottled up those feelings for so long that anything LGBTQ+ related triggers a response you've been trying to hide for years. You believe that white pride is okay because black pride exists, while failing to understand any of the history beforehand that led to the creation of both. You blindly follow a rapist because he hates the same people you do, and you worship him as a god. You, Kelly, are everything wrong with America put into a single pitiful, arrogant, malicious piece of shit! I'm not a follower of God, but I hope he exists just so I can see your ass being tortured in hell."
Nicole stood up and walked to the door.
"Oh, and before I leave, remember that one house afterparty? Well, I just wanted to say you're terrible at cunnilingus."
Nicole walked out and slammed the door.
Kelly sat there in silence, not sure whether to cry or yell or laugh or anything else. So she sat there, and for the first time in her life, she was reaping the consequences of her actions.